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Thread: Open Relationships/Marriages

  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hrodnand View Post
    With the example, that a proud germanic woman would feel offended by being treated like a property, I was referring to a state of being where the owner(husband) "suffocates" her wife by neglecting her free will.
    You are talking about the mastery of your property, this happens if you choose an asshole as a partner, one's own fault.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fallen Angel View Post
    Actually, it was polygamy that shaped our societies.
    What societies? Our more recently esteablished ones are certainly the product of a monogamous trend.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fallen Angel View Post
    Yep, that's why prostitutes develop an emotional bond with all their clients. eyes: Sex and love can well be separated.
    How you know they don't?

    Quote Originally Posted by Fallen Angel View Post
    Who says ownership means that the husband or wife can't have sex with other (wo)men?
    German common parlance: "Verleihe nichts was Du nicht auch verschenken würdest" ["Don't lend out anything you wouldn't give away for free"]

    The legal definition of property is not the point here, but the conscious acceptance as such, the will to own. You don't claim what you let others use, the more prescious the more the fear of loss blablub...

    Now, what if your husband would deny you the right to other sexual relationships, would this change your acceptance of his other sexual relations?
    "Nothing is more disgusting than the majority: because it consists of a few powerful predecessors, of rogues who adapt themselves, of weak who assimilate themselves, and the masses who imitate without knowing at all what they want." (Johann Wolfgang Goethe)

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jäger View Post
    What societies? Our more recently esteablished ones are certainly the product of a monogamous trend.
    The older ones.

    How you know they don't?
    How do you know they do?

    You are married to a woman?
    LMAO, misogynists will be misogynists. I am married to a man, just for your information, and we have equal rights in marriage.

    German common parlance: "Verleihe nichts was Du nicht auch verschenken würdest" ["Don't lend out anything you wouldn't give away for free"]
    Silly parlance. If you give somethin for free, you aren't lending it anymore. That's what's great about lending, you don't give it away for good, just for a while. Then it always comes back to ya.

    The legal definition of property is not the point here, but the conscious acceptance as such, the will to own. You don't claim what you let others use, the more prescious the more the fear of loss blablub...
    So you're sayin that cause I don't mind my hubby having sex with other women, I don't mind if I lose him? I ain't worried about losing him cause of another woman, but it doesn't mean I ain't afraid of other potential problems.

    Now, what if your husband would deny you the right to other sexual relationships, would this change your acceptance of his other sexual relations?
    Nope, I'd still feel the same about him having sex with other women, but I wouldn't accept that he denies me to do somethin. Neither of us is superior to the other in our marriage so we don't go round bossin each other. Now if my hubby told me hun, I am jealous if you have sex with other men, then I'd regard his feelings and vouch to him fidelity on my own, while he could still have sex with other women. I just ain't the jealous wife type, sue me or somethin.

  3. #33
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    This is definitely not the sort of thing I would go for. To me it seems disgusting that people would want to do it or find it appealing at all. I haven't been in the situation where I even knew of such a relationship occuring amongst people I know in reality, but really is more so discussed theoretically or as an abstract idea to mentally toss around. I'm guessing it's quite rare, in the overwhelmingly Germanic populated area I have grown up in, and other Germanic areas/countries where I have lived.

    As long as I don't preside over my own empire I guess that it's going to have to be acceptable if people want to do all that and learn on their own. I know that most young people have sex with tons of people before they maybe eventually settle down. (I hope for their own sake they will try to do it safely) I can reluctantly tolerate this - what other choice is there? But this sort of experimentation period which seems to be the norm for so many nowadays should not be called marriage.

    I personally do not see the appeal of sex without love. Nor do I imagine that this could in any way be beneficial to anyone. A human is much more than just a material physical being.

    Giving into lust and passion is not going to aid in any spiritual development.

  4. #34
    Senior Member Thrymheim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SubGnostic View Post
    Care to elaborate? I'd say we are all interested in a first-hand description of what an "open relationship" really constitutes. And I'd wager that an "open relationship" would require a notion of "just sex", no? Evidently some people are capable of separating carnal desire from all those fuzzy, warm feelings and spiritual commitment, but how about the most of us?
    Our version did indeed include some rules, number one, was that each partner had to be informed about what was going on, number two protection had to be worn. number three one night stands only.

    However he broke rule 2 and 3 and I broke rule 3 but it still worked, I personally don't see much of a connection between those "fuzzy, warm feelings" and sex. I will admit that sex is better with someone you care about but I don't see that that care is necessary and I have never felt myself falling for any sexual partner because of our physical relationship.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fallen Angel View Post
    Yep, that's why prostitutes develop an emotional bond with all their clients. eyes: Sex and love can well be separated.
    yup it certainly can

    Quote Originally Posted by Fallen Angel View Post
    And you know this how exactly? Been in an open marriage per chance? Nope? Didn't think so. There is actually a lot separating me as a wife from the broads my hubby has sex with. I am the woman he comes home to every day, the woman who cooks and cleans for him, the woman who makes decisions together with him. He views me as his partner, as his equal in marriage. He views the women he has fun with as mere recreation. They have no say how the house should be redecorated, or whether we should mow the lawn today or tomorrow.
    Exactly so long as he comes home to you and you go home to him, it doesn't matter what happens in between, so long as you both agree.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fallen Angel View Post
    Who says ownership means that the husband or wife can't have sex with other (wo)men? I own my hubby and he owns me, and we are both fine with extraconjugal sex. I own my dog too, but I don't ask him not to go out with female dogs. I won my car too, but I don't mind letting other folks have a ride in it.
    Lol, get out of my car!

    Saying that it doesn't work for everybody is however true I have also had a relationship in which there were times when it was meant to be open. Mainly when we were apart, however he took advantage of this and then was overcome by feelings of guilt (he'd done nothing wrong in my book) which made everything rather amusing for me and awkward for him.
    Cattle die, kinsmen die,
    the self must also die;
    but glory never dies,
    For the one who is able to achieve it.

    Sayings of the High One.

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladybright View Post
    I agree that it can be very bad for children. Once they enter the picture you MUST keep things discrete and focus on what is best for them not just the adults.
    Quite frankly, that would be hard work over a long period of time. Kids catch on, and really quick!

    Quote Originally Posted by Hrodnand View Post
    It's not ownership that it lacks but guts and honour.eyes:
    We should not consider the women as properties at all, not only because of respect for them but I think any proud germanic woman would be offended if she would be considered as a property of someone.
    It's honour and respect towards the other that keeps a true marriage closed not the feeling of property and proprietor.
    You nailed it in one!

    What other people do behind closed doors is their business, but it isn't my cuppa tea. I'm a greedy woman for starters, in that I want my man for myself!

    Another problem in my mind is the risk of sexually transmitted diseases increasing with multiple partners - no matter how careful you are!
    Dick Dastardly: "MUTTLEY, DO SOMETHING!!!!"
    Muttley: "Hehehehehehehehehe"

    "And now, Harry, let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure." - Albus Dumbledore, from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fallen Angel View Post
    The older ones.
    How old? Tacitus speaks of a predominant monogamous society among the ancient Germanics. Nevertheless I wouldn't deny the plygamous impact even a minority could have had.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fallen Angel View Post
    How do you know they do?
    I don't, that's why I didn't bring it up as an argument, you did.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fallen Angel View Post
    I am married to a man, just for your information, and we have equal rights in marriage.
    Bleh, the duty of the woman is the right of the man, the duty of the man is the right of the woman.
    Equal rights are for Jewish libbers.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fallen Angel View Post
    Silly parlance. If you give somethin for free, you aren't lending it anymore.
    It doesn't say it is the same, it implies that something you don't want to lose, you shouldn't purposely put in a situation where it could happen.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fallen Angel View Post
    That's what's great about lending, you don't give it away for good, just for a while. Then it always comes back to ya.
    Nope, it doesn't, and this is exactly the point, if you are lucky it will come back to you. You didn't ever lend something out and didn't get it back? The person lost it, or damaged it, etc.?

    Quote Originally Posted by Fallen Angel View Post
    So you're sayin that cause I don't mind my hubby having sex with other women, I don't mind if I lose him?
    In essence, although I don't really doubt you would mind, well, only a burned child dreads the fire.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fallen Angel View Post
    Nope, I'd still feel the same about him having sex with other women, but I wouldn't accept that he denies me to do somethin.
    Ah yes Luckily you have the state to protect you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fallen Angel View Post
    Now if my hubby told me hun, I am jealous if you have sex with other men, then I'd regard his feelings and vouch to him fidelity on my own, while he could still have sex with other women. I just ain't the jealous wife type, sue me or somethin.
    There are many types of people, and to adhere to a contract is honorable, so far I don't think "open marriages" should be illegal or something.
    "Nothing is more disgusting than the majority: because it consists of a few powerful predecessors, of rogues who adapt themselves, of weak who assimilate themselves, and the masses who imitate without knowing at all what they want." (Johann Wolfgang Goethe)

  7. #37
    Senior Member Cythraul's Avatar
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    If polygamy was something our post-cultural ancestors practiced, then I see it as something we've evolved from, or should have evolved from. It is still a part of some Islamic and African cultures but here in Europe, it very much goes against the cultural grain (not that going against the grain is always wrong). I just can't comprehend the mentality of 'open relationships'. A part of me wants to suggest that couples who engage in this have problems, individually or in union; or that individually they must have had strange or traumatic experiences in their past - but I know this is not always true. Therefore, I have no way to rationalise it.

    I suppose my aversion is born of the belief that sex-for-sex's-sake, aka "fucking" usually denotes a rather hollow type of person. Most people with emotional depth thrive on monogamy. Furthermore, I'm often concerned that open-relationships are mostly suggested by the man, because many men would prefer not to commit to one woman. I fear that in such cases, the woman would rather make her man happy than preserve her dignity and refuse.

    As always, everyone develops their own moral compass. I'm going to try not to judge people when theirs differs from mine. And an open relationship is far more preferable to betrayal and cheating.
    "If by being a racialist, you mean a man who despises a human being because he belongs to another race, or a man that believes one race is inherently superior to another in civilisation or capability of civilisation, then the answer is emphatically no." - Enoch Powell

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cythraul View Post
    I suppose my aversion is born of the belief that sex-for-sex's-sake, aka "fucking" usually denotes a rather hollow type of person.
    Indeed. I'd go even further though, and suggest that this isn't just a problem with those who engage in 'open relationships/marriages', it's a problem with our whole contemporary culture in general.

    IMO, the whole meaning and function of sex in modern Western societies has been completely corrupted and confused; it has lost its former mystique due to its overexposure and inappropriate level of availability in contemporary life. It has been fused with the larger hedonism that permeates the West and is draining our spirit. Put simply, the sacred 'flame of life' has been distorted.

    Perhaps the participants in 'open marriages' are just logical outcomes of this larger culture. Still, it's not excusable, and in a healthy culture it should be actively discouraged, not in a legal sense but through social pressures.

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cythraul View Post
    I suppose my aversion is born of the belief that sex-for-sex's-sake, aka "fucking" usually denotes a rather hollow type of person. Most people with emotional depth thrive on monogamy. Furthermore, I'm often concerned that open-relationships are mostly suggested by the man, because many men would prefer not to commit to one woman. I fear that in such cases, the woman would rather make her man happy than preserve her dignity and refuse.
    This is what I can't comprehend. Most everyone I've heard of that practiced this growing trend today (male and female), eventually said it was something they never wanted to do again. They felt as though it degraded them or that empty and meaningless sex equally left them feeling empty and meaningless. What's worse is so many young people, particularly girls, end up having sex for sex's sake due to some sort of peer pressure. Open relationships/marriages make this behavior a lifestyle. Not only do the ones involved have to live with themselves for taking part in such behavior, but they have to live with the one they love doing it too. Those who can manage unaffected, if that is truly possible, must have a heart of stone. It's so strange too reading comments that seem to imply demanding faithfulness and commitment is being the jealous or greedy type, almost as though we shouldn't be prone to such feelings at all.

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    I personally see a problem with tolerance towards polygamous practices in a relationship.
    We can all see, that right now among germanics a monogamous mentality is more widespread. But for how long?eyes:
    If those with the traditional sense of monogamy do not make a certain pressure on those who favour polygamy/open relationships, we can easily find our children thinking that actually the state of an open relationship is to be the normal and healthy. All this because of the rising number of polygamous relationships and because it is the very example that children see around them.
    Now I personally could never accept that my children would practice polygamous relationships.
    Without the intention of offending someone personally, I will be asserting the contrary and be opposing towards those who favour open relationships.
    :Überschöpfung:



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