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Thread: Do Your Friends Know How You Feel About Politics? / Have You Lost Friends Because of Ideological or Lifestyle Changes?

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    Question Do Your Friends Know How You Feel About Politics? / Have You Lost Friends Because of Ideological or Lifestyle Changes?

    I want to share something here and I am interested in your opinions, as well as to hear if someone else has had similar experience.

    During the past 2-3 years, and after some significant events, my life has been taking another direction in many practical and theoretical aspects.

    Let's take an example:

    I quit smoking exactly 3 years ago.
    That instantly led to a series of changes in lifestyle, meaning that I cut down a lot on my social life since every bar, restaurant, club, etc, in Greece is close to a gas chamber.

    I am avoiding eating meat so that means cutting down half of the remaining places I would go with my friends and eat.

    I like to keep myself more and I sleep at earlier hours than before. I prefer to stay at home and read a book than to hang out till 6 am and spend the following day in bed with a hangover.

    The thing is...most of my friends will not accept it or at least respect my wishes to go home early or avoid smoking places.

    I very recently (last weekend) had a fight with a friend who visited Athens for the weekend, and he expected me to follow him around in everything he did.
    Even though I accompanied him and toured him around the whole day, he was pissed off and nagged me to death because I wanted to go to sleep at midnight and would not follow him further for clubbing.
    He also could not respect my wish to stay smoke-free, and he smoked incessantly everywhere we went....even in my house!
    He even tried to convince me that "passive smoking" is bullshit propaganda and that nobody gets hurt from breathing other people's smoke!!! :eek:

    Soooo...much as that one has been a good friend of mine for many years, I am thinking that our friendship is pretty much over, due to...irreconcilable differences of character. And others will follow.

    What do you think?

    Should I pour some water in my wine in order to keep my friends or should I stick to my principles and strickly follow the life pattern I have chosen?

    Has this or something similar happened to you? How did you deal with it?

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    Naturbursche
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    A Friend is not someone who leaves you behind because of Lifestyle Changes.

    This Question is totally wrong.




    Gruß,
    Boche
    "We Germans fear God, but nothing else in the world; and already that godliness is it, which let us love and foster peace."
    - Otto von Bismarck, 1888

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    That's part of my point, Boche.

    I am asking this question to myself:
    I respect other people's lifestyles and I do not ask them to follow mine in order to be my friends.
    However, there are practical implications that keep driving us apart. Can we still be friends and respect each other or have we been, in reality, merely drinking buddies who don't have much left to do together after one of them quits drinking?

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    I don't really think that those people were true friends in the first place but rather just acquaintances who walked on the same path as you in life for a while but you and them took different roads after some time so you will necessarily depart somewhen again.
    True friends,however, will stay and accept changes...
    A problem in our modern times is that the word friend is used inflationarily and carelessly. Even distant acquaintances or co-workers are often called friends just because it feels more pleasant and gives us the illusion to have a lot of them.

    There are a lot of people in the world and hardly anybody would complain that our countries are populated too sparsely but you need to look very long until you find a friend among them...
    Ceterum censeo Iudaeam esse delendam.

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    Sounds like your almost 30!

    Psychologically, this is a pivitol age for most: you know and have experienced enough to be more discriminatory with repect to who you associate yourself with; disciplne begins to crystallise; and clearly you have matured beyond your friends. Equally clear, your's is an introspective soul, Blaxis: you can only ward it off just so long.

    SO! - let those people be those people; and you become who you are: you are no candidate for being developmentally arrested.

    Besides, as I told you at Skadi, you are endangering your Greek citizneship by not already being married with 13 children. So get on with it - would'ya?:p
    "...The moral man is a lower species than the immoral, a weaker species; indeed - he is a type in regard to morality, but not a type in himself; a copy...the measure of his value lies outside him. ... I assess the power of a will by how much resistance, pain, torture it endures and knows how to turn to its advantage; I do not account the evil and painful character of existence a reproach to it, but hope rather that it will one day be more evil and painful than hitherto..." (Nietzsche)

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    I know it was only a joke but sadly, the fertility rate of Greece is one and a third childrens per female...
    Ceterum censeo Iudaeam esse delendam.

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    I have lost acquaintances and a few friends to lifestlye and distance. I have had more not bloom because I was not interested in going out and getting drunk. Alcoholism runs in my family so I just don't have more than one drink per club.

    This sounds like no fun at all. If your buddy is just in town for a little while then go ahead and go out more and just order water after you have had enough but overtip the bartender. If he expects you to go out drinking all night then just tell him you are not going out or that you are pulling a cinderella.

    Land of the Free because of the Brave.
    "Do not seek death. Death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment." Dag Hammarskjold
    "Children know the truth. Love is not an emotion. Love is behavior." Andrew Vachss

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    I know exactly how you feel.

    They want me to go out until the small hours, and I have become a hatha yoga freak again. (I dip in and out of following it...)

    I want to eat, walk, sleep and breathe carefully, and could not care less if they want to drag me out to a non-saatvic restaurant (I only know ONE saatvic restaurant in London, so choice is limited!).

    Do I really want to drink spirits and fill my face up with cocaine? Is this what men are supposed to do with their spare time/money? I fear that some of my 'friends' expect this, and anything less is not 'hardcore'. :

    It was not deliberate on my part, but a 'friend' came down and suggested that we go round the Tate gallery. I was not up to doing it. I could not be bothered. All I care about is my food and my yoga practise and keeping my house running, yet I was castigated for this, just for wanting to mind my own business.

    The (ex)girlfriend also had to go. She has got herself a good job with a recruitment company so I do not feel so bad about it. The last time we met she dragged me out to Hyde Park on the hottest day of the year and I complained and left early for home ahead of our arranged departure.

    "I thought that you only stayed in because you lived in boring Aberdeen. I had no idea that you hated the afternoon sun, and that you would just want to stay in when you moved to London. We must be totally incompatible!", she said.

    Yes, my dear. We are. You smoke, you drink and you eat meat and you are an irreligious pig and you cause me extra washing!

    "Shove off the lot of you! My personal needs are greater than your social needs and I think that it is worth being a little lonely sometimes", I often feel like saying to the world.

    True friends will accept changes. Yes, I think that they would. I will see about this when a friend comes to visit from Scotland...

    Then again, I have to check myself. I am slightly autistic. Is your sister not also slightly autistic Boche? I think that we often have trouble keeping friends, but with 'friends' like mine who needs enemies?

    Blaxis, do not make concessions for them. Not an inch.

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    I actually dont hang out anymore with friends since last year, they think i'm to much busy with politics,history and reading books while i think they are to much busy with drugs,alcohol and parties.

    My "real" friends are already dead for a few years so after that i never realy had friends like that anymore.
    If christ is the answer then what is the question?

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    When converting from a child socialistic rapper to an adolescent nationalistic metalhead , you do lose many friends . But you also get new friends . Afterall , metalheads are much more about true friendship and not the "friendship for coolness" rappers have. I can talk about everything with metalheads , rappers only want to hear what they want.
    "There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue."

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