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Thread: Is Love Necessary in a Relationship?

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    Is Love Necessary in a Relationship?

    Hello everyone,

    I hope this topic hasn't come up yet. Do you think love is necessary in a relationship? Do you love your partner? This might sound like a silly question, but nowadays many people claim that partnership/marriage is only a social contract, that love with butterflies in the stomach and sweat are outdated concepts. Some say that love might not even exist at all. So, what are your thoughts?

    Thanks in advance.

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    Love is not necessary yet very helpful for a relationship, especially for the products of the relationship (offspring I mean). Relationships have worked for millennia without love and love-marriages were the exception in those era. However, loving parents are a good role model for children. Even today, love mostly disappears after some years because partners are alienating from eachother because of being to close to eachother hence not having anything new to say to their partner. In former times, couples stayed together for children's sake but in our modern childrenless times people simply divorce.
    Ceterum censeo Iudaeam esse delendam.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Janus View Post
    Love is not necessary yet very helpful for a relationship, especially for the products of the relationship (offspring I mean). .
    Yes, you do, obviously no one moves in without love. Maybe I've missed something here.
    Jeg er over gjennomsnittet bitter, og liker stort sett ingen andre enn meg selv


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    People can live together for years and years, but for my part, love is essential.

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    Not all relationships involve love, teenagers for example, date someone for a while, then move on. Even adults. Some relationships are just so you will not be alone, you may not love them, but you do like them and spending time with them. Some people are just not interested in finding love yet, yet they still want a partner.

    Speaking for me, I love love. In my relationship (marriage) there is so much love it is ridiculous:p
    "We've become a nation of strangers. There seems to be very little in common to bond us to our fellow Americans outside of our immediate families,some don't even have that to fall back on."

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    Is Love Necessary in a Relationship?
    It would depend upon the type of relationship you mean.

    Love is a deeply confusing word.

    Love is often mistaken for basic sexual urges and is often realised to late in a relationship to do anything about that.

    Love is not always shown in a relationship between offspring, yet a relationship still exists.

    Same for Parent and offspring.
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    Love means nothing to me. What I thought was love caused me to suffer.

    Conclusion: Love and relationships are unnecessary.
    People turn to poison as quick as lager turns to piss

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    Is love necessary..........?

    Romantic love is a cultural artifact. It started as a mediaeval court game, the purpose of which was to try to get the umarrried knights to sublimate their lust for their lord's wife. Competition in verse and song helped prevent rivalries over a prospective mate from turning bloody.

    The cliches of romantic love: "I never really lived until I met you." or "Our love will endure until the mountains crumble into the sea." or "For you, I'd climb the highest mountain, etc., etc., etc." are all poetic extravagances originating in the Middle Ages.

    No such preposterous hyperbole is to be found in the sagas, or in Beowulf, or, earlier, in the Iliad, the Odyssey, or the AEneid. Being besotted by emotion for a woman was regarded as a sign of weakness unbefitting a true man, especially a fighting man.

    Even though the Romans regarded uxoriousness with contempt and Roman amourous verse tended to be cynical rather than romantic, one does find some rather atypical emotionalism in the love verse of Publius Ovidius Naso.
    We don't have any literary criticism from Roman times to tell us, but I've often wondered what his fellow Romans thought of Ovid.

    Love is not the same thing as sexual desire. One is emotional, the other hormonal. Confusing the emotion with the physiological need has led to much unhappiness. The emotional state, ecstatic though it may be while it endures, is basically unstable. The physiological need is satisfied by the sex act.

    If there is no basis to a relationship other than a short-lived emotion or a hormone-driven physiological impulse, then there is no possibility of its enduring. It is far better for the couple to LIKE each other, have compatible personalities, esteem and respect each other, than for them to "love" each other.

    Arranged marriages of couples who do not have unrealistic expectations based on the Mediaeval poetic conventions of romantic love have proved to be, on the whole, both stable and rewarding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nachthimmel View Post
    nowadays many people claim that partnership/marriage is only a social contract, that love with butterflies in the stomach and sweat are outdated concepts.
    Isn't it the reverse? Marriage was a social contract throughout most of history, many marriages were even arranged or influenced by families. The modern view of marriage/relationships being for emotional self-satisfaction is fairly recent
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    I think friendship is necessary for a relationship. Passion wears off rather quickly and what remains (or should remain) is a friendly kind of love, and companionship.

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