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Thread: Internet Dating/Long Distance/Online Relationships

  1. #141
    Senior Member Catterick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs vonTrep View Post
    I sure as heck would see very red flags in case the man I had been chatting with for a while and was planning to meet refused to video chat and show photos of himself. That would just be way too strange.

    Kinda like going on a date with masks on.
    Only if you confuse Internet with real life dating. People act differently when online. That's no surprise.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Catterick View Post
    Only if you confuse Internet with real life dating. People act differently when online. That's no surprise.
    Yes and No about people acting differently online.

    Around women I am much more shy in real life, around men I'm more lighthearted and sometimes aggressive, assertive. In fact I'm so shy I have to wait until a woman gives 100% positive sign that she is interested, except waitresses and barmaids I can't help myself in teasing them.
    Life is like a fire hydrant- sometimes you help people put out their fires, but most of the time you just get peed on by every dog in the neighborhood.

  3. #143
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catterick View Post
    Only if you confuse Internet with real life dating. People act differently when online. That's no surprise.
    Not necessarily true, me and my husband and also me and my best gf first met online and when we met irl it was like we had known each other irl for a long time already. That's because we acted the same way with each other irl as we did online.

    Not saying that's always the case with everyone, but I know very well how good it can turn out. Not all people have to/need to act differently online than they do irl.

    And no, I don't confuse internet with real life - but sometimes events in real life begins with internet. And it's so awesome when it works out.

    I can't even count how many people I've gotten to know online and then met IRL afterwards on different political gatherings/demonstrations and such. Internet is really a great way to connect for those who dare and are willing to take a chance. It's probably not for everyone.
    A democracy is nothing more than mob rule,
    where 51% of the people may take away the rights of the other 49%.

  4. #144
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catterick View Post
    Only if you confuse Internet with real life dating. People act differently when online. That's no surprise.
    Well, if we speak of falling in love online and having a "relationship", folks will wanna turn it into something more serious at some point. As I said, the whole point of dating online is to eventually get offline. And folks who refuse to reveal such details to their online significant other have something to hide more often than not. We ain't talking about strangers here but about people who claim to fall in love and want to turn the relationship into something real.

    I'd say in 90% of the cases, if you're in an online relationship with someone and you've gotten to the point where you plan real life details with them, but you ain't seen them on webcam or spoken to them on the phone, then it's pretty clear you're being catfished or scammed. Refusing to speak on the phone usually means they're the opposite gender or they're married or in a relationship and having an emotional affair with you. If they also supposedly look like some model or some celebrity and have a glamorous life full of drama, if there's terminal illnesses, accidents and deaths in the family which always happen when you're about to meet, chances you're being catfished are 99.9%.

  5. #145
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    Yes, once, but it didn't work out. Distance, communication problems and a wrong image of the other one. I wouldn't date over WWW anymore, too risky and too much efforts. The next bar isn't far away.

    Best dating ground for me are EBM and Metal festivals outside, in summer time. All are happy and drunk (or happy because they're drunk!? ) and feelings are awesome. I met my ex on Summerbreeze Festival, one of the largest annual metal festivals in Germany. Wacken sucks by the way.
    Loyal to my hate

  6. #146
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    Online friendships, yes.
    Online romantic relationships, no. Too weird.
    It's ok if two people meet online and become friends, or meet online and decide to meet in person and the relationship develops there. But having a long term online relationship is not something I'd see myself doing. Too many complications, you're essentially living separate lives.

    So basically no, never see myself falling in love with someone I never met.

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    I don't see myself falling in love over the Internet, but if I somehow did, I'd have to at least see a picture and hear the voice of that person first.

    I see the Internet as a good place to look for/meet people, but the real relationships would have to develop offline. Being in an online relationship, there aren't a lot of things that you can do together, besides chat...

  8. #148
    Senior Member Wyrd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gefjon View Post
    Ever been in a long distance relationship, including online relationship?
    Not really.

    Are they real relationships?
    It depends. I don't think cyber-romances, where partners haven't met in person can last for too long. At some point they will have to make a decision and meet up. I can't imagine having a long-term relationship with a computer screen...

    Can they realistically last?
    See above, as long as they meet regularly, there may still be a chance. Otherwise, I don't see how, maybe only as a fantasy/side-relationship.

    Do you think it's possible to love someone you haven't met in person yet?
    Not sure, I guess you can entertain some affection, but the question is, do you really love that person or do you love a fantasy, or your idea of that person?

    What about if you hear their voice on the phone or see them on webcam?
    That may add some reality to the question, but still not enough...

    If you fell in love with someone online and met them in person and decided it's "true love", but they lived very far away, would you move to their country?
    I'm not sure, it would depend on the country. I would have to imagine myself living there long-term, on my own possibly, for the case the relationship wouldn't work.

    If your spouse had to move to another country very far away, would you follow them?
    If we were married, yes, otherwise, see above.

    If your spouse had to go to prison for some years, would you wait for them?
    I honestly don't know, but I guess it would depend on the crime. A petty crime or something he got caught in, or falsely accused? Then maybe. If he raped or murdered someone however, I would have to reevaluate our relationship and leave, it's not something I'd take lightly.

    What about if they got life, would you remain by their side?
    Probably not. It would also depend if we had children...

    Should long distance/online relationships follow the same rules as other relationships? i.e. no dating/sex with other people?
    If both decide it's a serious relationship, then yes, of course. But as above, they would need to meet at some point, you cannot have a relationship with a screen name for too long. There is the danger that one both would fall into temptation and miss the things they can't do because they aren't together.

    I don't think it would be something for me. But sure, there are couples that met online, even successful marriage stories. To each his own, I guess.

  9. #149
    Senior Member Idis's Avatar
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    I've never been in an Internet relationship but I've known some people who met online and got married. It's possible, although Internet and long distance relationships are more difficult to maintain, due to jealousy and other distance related issues. It's certainly not for those who are overly possessive and faint of heart...

  10. #150
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    Long-distance relationships can form stronger bonds than face-to-face ones

    The long-distance relationship has plagued college students and people relocated for work for ages. These relationships are seen as destined to fail, but are they actually creating stronger bonds than a geographically closer relationship? A recent paper published in the Journal of Communication found that people in long-distance relationships often have stronger bonds from more constant, and deeper, communication than normal relationships.

    Crystal Jiang, City University of Hong Kong and Jeffrey Hancock, Cornell University, asked dating couples in long-distance and geographically close relationships to report their daily interactions over different media: face-to-face, phone calls, video chat, texting, instant messenger, and email. Over a week, they reported to what extent they shared about themselves and experienced intimacy, and to what extent they felt their partners did the same thing. When comparing the two types of relationships, Jiang and Hancock found that long-distance couples felt more intimate to each other, and this greater intimacy is driven by two tendencies: long-distance couples disclosed themselves more, and they idealized their partners' behaviors. These two tendencies become more manifested when they communicated in text-based, asynchronous and mobile media because they made more efforts to overcome the media constraints.

    Long-distance relationships have been unexplored for years. One of the reasons is that the general public believes it is rare and not normal. Previous studies have focused on how couples cope with problems, such as jealousy and stress, but until recently, several studies have shown that long-distance relationships are not always problematic. Some surveys even indicate that long-distance couples have equal or better relationship qualities than geographically close couples. This study was designed to observe what exactly happens in long-distance relational communication, particularly in comparison to geographically close ones.

    Long-distance romance is much more common nowadays. Couples get separated for a variety of reasons, due to modern mobility, and they choose to maintain the relationships through all kinds of communication technologies. Recent statistics show that 3 million married couples in the US live apart; 25- 50% college students are currently in long-distance relationships and up to 75% of them have engaged in one at some point. On the other hand, people think long-distance relationships are challenging.

    "Indeed, our culture, emphasizes being together physically and frequent face-to-face contact for close relationships, but long-distance relationships clearly stand against all these values. People don't have to be so pessimistic about long-distance romance," said Jiang. "The long-distance couples try harder than geographically close couples in communicating affection and intimacy, and their efforts do pay back."
    https://www.sciencedaily.com/release...0718101232.htm

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