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Thread: Spiritual conflict in relationships

  1. #1
    Senior Member Cythraul's Avatar
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    Spiritual conflict in relationships

    Could you have a relationship with someone who has a vastly different spiritual belief system to you?

    I've always found it strange when I see people in these kinds of relationships - particularly if one person is Christian and the other Hindu for example. How could you ever hope to raise a child in a sane manner when it is bombarded with conflicting religious views from both parents? How about a diehard atheist in love with a strict Catholic... could that ever be true love - in the sense that you absolutely, completely respect your partner?

    I'm interested in everyone's views on this.
    "If by being a racialist, you mean a man who despises a human being because he belongs to another race, or a man that believes one race is inherently superior to another in civilisation or capability of civilisation, then the answer is emphatically no." - Enoch Powell

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    Senior Member Next World's Avatar
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    So long as I respect a man's politics and he respects my religion, there really aren't problems.

    My last boyfriend is a ball of religious confusion. I met him at a point that he wasn't exactly himself in terms of spirituality. He had a falling out with God and was essentially waging war against him. He's actually a die-hard Christian. We got along when I thought he was a Wotanist, and we get along now that he's a Christian (even though we're not together now), but when he was an Atheist, we had problems. Not so much because I had a problem with him, but more so because he flat out told me that my beliefs were stupid.

    Why would I want to be with someone who thought I was stupid? Religion is a guiding factor in my life, the guiding force, actually. If I am guided by stupidity, why would someone care to make me theirs?

    So long as I'm not pressed into or out of a religion, I don't think there'd be an issue.

    However, I'd prefer that he is at least elementally Agnostic. When one is too proud or too set in something to consider that they might be wrong, it is hard for them to truly accept the beliefs of others. I could even deal with an Agnostic Atheist, even though I think, by far, Atheism is my least favorite religion.
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    Senior Member Mrs. Lyfing's Avatar
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    I believe 2 person's who stand strongly behind their beliefs could cause conflict so much so it may not even work out. We have all been in a debate over this or that,here on this forum,in everyday life,& it sucks when someone doesn't agree with you!!! So,I don't know how that would work out,maybe it just depends on how the people in the relationship are,I would hate to think I met the man of my dreams & everything was perfect between us but that,maybe an agreement never to speak of it! Could I say goodbye? I don't know. :
    "We've become a nation of strangers. There seems to be very little in common to bond us to our fellow Americans outside of our immediate families,some don't even have that to fall back on."

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    Senior Member Cythraul's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Next World View Post
    ...but when he was an Atheist, we had problems. Not so much because I had a problem with him, but more so because he flat out told me that my beliefs were stupid.
    I realised this lately - atheism is probably a more stubborn belief than any religion. I used to be atheist and I remember being very, very sure of myself - that my belief was absolutely, unquestionably correct. It's funny how atheists generally criticize the major religions for being stubborn, ignorant and unwilling to accept the possibility that their religion might not be so great... and yet atheists are just as guilty, if not more so.

    Wow... if the me from 5 years ago could read this... he'd be horrified at my current views.
    "If by being a racialist, you mean a man who despises a human being because he belongs to another race, or a man that believes one race is inherently superior to another in civilisation or capability of civilisation, then the answer is emphatically no." - Enoch Powell

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    Senior Member Thrymheim's Avatar
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    Well, since my ex was a follower of Isis and Set, I would say that it can work (we didn't split for that reason), but only if neither partner tries to push their version of the truth onto the other. My present one is also Heathen, but even so there are differences in our viewpoints and these could cause more problems than totally different beliefs, as you both take it more personally.

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    Senior Member Matamoros's Avatar
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    I think that a long term relationship is hard enough already, without additional conflict over religion.

    For myself, I don't think I could date someone who had a different religion to me. I once dated a baptist, and we clashed regularly because my religious views were too traditional for her. If I had trouble with someone of a different denomination, I imagine there would be even more trouble with someone of a completely different faith.

    I guess if one person wasn't too strong on their religion, or was lukewarm, then it would be a lot easier. But when you have two very strong people who refuse to budge from their positions you're just asking for trouble.

    As for children - I think if they are raised in a household of two religions, then they are likely to end up following neither.

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    Senior Member Phlegethon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cythraul View Post
    Could you have a relationship with someone who has a vastly different spiritual belief system to you?
    Absolutely impossible.
    And all my youth passed by sad-hearted,
    the joy of Spring was never mine;
    Autumn blows through me dread of parting,
    and my heart dreams and longs to die.

    - Nikolaus Lenau (1802-1850)

    Real misanthropes are not found in solitude, but in the world; since it is experience of life, and not philosophy, which produces real hatred of mankind.

    - Giacomo Leopardi (1798-1837)

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    Yep. If he respects my beliefs and I respect his, everything works out.

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    Senior Member Freydis's Avatar
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    I think it's nearly impossible. We derive our morals usually through religious belief (directly or indirectly) and also our worldviews.
    People turn to poison as quick as lager turns to piss

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    i don't think it matters as long as religion is not the primary focus of either partner. from what i know of different religions, the general morals they promote are similar (i.e. no killing, no stealing, etc.) so as long as religious practices are not a major focus i don't see why problems would arise.

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