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Thread: An Introduction

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    Senior Member Gladstone's Avatar
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    Post An Introduction

    This is by someone from another site titled "Ladybug22's Introduction". I relate very much with what she says as it's true here in Texas as well. The entire downtown and immediate environs (ie residential areas) built just prior to WWI are destroyed where I'm at...the same as with many of our cities in America and something our brethren in Europe are seeing firsthand before their eyes now in the Occident.

    Very interesting reading..


    General Introduction:

    I am a female college student, studying history and hoping to become a teacher. I am in my last year and will be attending graduate school next year.

    I have been going through a massive shift of ideals within the past year or so. Yet it seems that my newly developing views and feelings are all but anathema in the liberal university setting in which I find myself. I hope that what I write makes sense to some of you, I feel so utterly alone at times. This will probably be very long. I will try and break it up if need be. I really can’t help it at this point; this represents 22 years of pent-up frustration. Perhaps all this is “old news” to you, but I hope that you will understand that it is important for me to verbalize thinking that is new to me. I can’t really tell you why I was moved to write this, but I hope someone will understand where I am coming from and not find it too superfluous.

    I am what you would term a normal product of today’s warped society. I grew up believing in all the garbage that is spouted in classrooms all around the country. I believed that MLK was a demi-god of sorts. I believed in equality. I ate up the poison of tolerance and political correctness as if it was a balm for all society’s ills.

    I hated racists, or those I felt had an irrational hatred for the black race based on no evidence whatsoever. I saw no evidence. Racial brotherhood could be a reality, I thought. In fact I looked forward to the day when older bigoted people would be gone from this earth, so the more enlightened generations that followed them could take control and implement their truly “right” and “good” policies in our society. I looked forward to that time with glee. I was right and my elders knew nothing. They were pigs, fools, and throwbacks to an unenlightened age.

    I come from a long line of Poles. My mother is full-blooded Polish (there might be the teeniest bit of Russian in the mix…but its nothing any of my relatives will admit to). My father is half-Irish and half-British. My mother in a sense truly separated me from my heritage as I spent much of my childhood living in suburban liberal enclaves in Pennsylvania and Florida that isolated me and kept me ignorant to the state of actual race relations. The irony is here that while I was indoctrinated with European-hating propaganda that was at its worst a bile filled virulent exercise in teaching white children to hate themselves, and at best, merely apologetic in nature….I had very few black friends with which to exhibit my parroted ideals of acceptance and racial shame. Black people are allowed to have “pride”. Whites must spend an eternity in constant apology for past wrongs before “pride” in such a disgusting thing as whiteness or European heritage could ever be considered.


    Problems in Education: Examples of my own experiences as a student and as a teacher in training:


    I remember distinctly in 5th grade being forced by my black teacher to learn the “black national anthem” and how she screamed at us when we fumbled the words. She made so many unrelated lessons into instructional sessions about racism; she made me feel ashamed to be white. She made me almost wish that I could be “good” like her…, which would mean being something other than a blonde-haired green-eyed little girl. There was only 1 black student in our class. She was 13 years old and in the fifth grade. She had failed several times due to not only bad grades but also discipline problems. I was 9 when I entered the fifth grade. Subsequently this girl punched me repeatedly during class time because I was trying to ignore her brutality and bad language. She said that I “disrespected” her for doing so. My teacher did nothing, although she was kind and seemed to believe me when I tearfully told her what happened. The girl was never punished and the class was later given a lecture on lying…at the time I did not understand why my teacher kept looking at me. The saddest thing was, looking back, was that I actually felt guilty for some reason. I was overwhelmed with this feeling of guilt and I actually believed to some extent that I was wrong to talk about the beating and that the best thing for me to have done would have been to take it and not say anything. I almost believed that the girl had the perfect right to assault me, the “white b****,” because it was people like me who had made people like her fail over and over again. Something the teacher said made me feel like a liar…although I was anything but a liar. I was a ten year old…and I was taught to take what came out of a grownup’s mouth as gospel. I did not understand how I was being indoctrinated into a culture of guilt. If anything, I embraced this gospel of “tolerance”, even though it had little to do with my individual experience as a child. I see now that my racial education was indeed based on dictates that seemed to be constructed by people living outside of real life, an imposition upon me, a white child, to teach me how to act in this perfectly equal society that will come to pass “really soon”. Submissiveness to other races, especially the morally superior (because they were “persecuted,” they must indeed be more tolerant and good) black race, seemed to be the first rule of behavior.

    As someone who is studying to become a teacher, I am becoming more and more aware of the trend in which white children are taught that equality and tolerance, and even inclusion, are concepts that do not apply to them. Of course, this is couched in positive, happy language. No one would say these things outright…although we are getting closer to this point. Nevertheless, the underlying, subconscious messages are being fed to children.

    I would never cater to this garbage as a teacher. I could never make any child ashamed of who they are or judge them based on where their ancestors came from. Just this statement alone would make many liberal-minded people think that I was referring to one of our poor, victimized “minorities”. I am referring to white people! Yet I am well aware that I will be forced to teach things in the school curriculum that I do not agree with, especially in my fields of history and social studies. I know that I will be given curriculum guidelines in which non-Europeans are lauded and Europeans are portrayed as cancerous, colonialist parasites. This is especially true in the case of white males. Although white females still have problems finding role models and learning the basics about the history of their respective ethnic groups, the emphasis on feminism can give them a leg up, female achievements are talked about much more in the curriculum than in former years. However, our young men are not so lucky. European men and early American leaders are seen as savage monsters devoid of honor, intelligence, even humanity! Our founders have taken quite a beating and in some circles you would be branded a racist pig just to say that you admired someone like Jefferson, Washington, or even later leaders in our history. If this person happened to be a Southern figure like Lee, you are screwed…period. That is if children can name any Euro-American leaders to admire anyway, most do not learn anything more detailed than a name. Even I have trouble finding good information on these people and I have been supposedly college educated. My education was influenced by the same trends that are occurring at the grade school and high school levels now. It is really no wonder to me that a lot of white children, especially boys, are attracted to the ghetto “baggy pants” lifestyle when the mores of their own heritage are so stigmatized that they could be ostracized for having a strong, European-American role model in history or in life…even their own fathers! It can be safer for them to idolize historical figures, media figures, and friends from other races that are actually culturally accepted as good. The white male is becoming the true victim of our society, in my opinion.

    As for the classes I will soon be required to teach, a world cultures class or in lessons studying multiculturalism, the reference to “cultures” often means any culture or belief system BUT those that spring from Europe. I am in a quagmire. How much will I be able to resist these trends and do justice to the intelligence of my students? I wish I could be a part of a free public educational system that actually attempted to focus on actual teaching, on teaching the nuts and bolts of academics, and leave all the ideology and indoctrination to the families, of whatever stripe. History is rarely so simple to teach, as every text and curriculum is slanted in some direction. It does not have the inherent scientific objectivity say, that mathematics can claim for itself. Yet a can of worms has been opened so to speak, and if I have to stand by and watch the achievements of my European ancestors maligned while the achievements of other races, are, in my opinion, grossly inflated…these fools have already set the bar for ideology to enter into the educational arena. What choice do I have but to give my students a balancer, at least, that would be respectful of European achievement? To counter empty propaganda with the historical record? Perhaps I should rid myself of the mistaken belief that this is why I would be employed in the first place. I’ll probably be fired for trying to fulfill my actual job description. I could go on and on about the biases I have discovered both in my historical training and in my initial training as a teacher…but I think I’ll save that for later discussion if the topic should appear.


    Waking Up:


    I moved with my mother to the fine city of Baltimore to help take care of my elderly grandparents. My mother had given birth to me when she was nearing 40 (my closest sibling in age is 16 years older than I am!) so her parents were well into their eighties by the time I was turning fifteen. They and the myriad numbers of cousins and aunts I was privileged to meet are very old-fashioned Polish people. It was a culture shock for me to live with them. Their racial consciousness was alien to me, as was simply the emphasis on ethnicity. They were proud of their heritage in a way that colored their actions, their opinions, and their thoughts about daily events. I was not raised in such a tradition rich atmosphere. I was interested in genealogy growing up, chiefly because I was trying to find information about my father’s family. He passed away when I four. Yet actually being around family that were proud of their heritage meant much more to me than simply my writing names on a piece of parchment.

    I was very happy with learning about the history and practices of my culture…but I was very uncomfortable with the level of hatred directed towards black people, among others. I to this day do not advocate any type of violence toward other races or even insulting speech. Frankly, I feel that this is wrong in any circumstance except in bodily self-defense. I see more racially-motivated violence in daily life directed toward whites than I do toward any other groups anyway…why stoop to that level? Unfortunately I found that this kind of behavior was the only thing I picked up on when I heard my grandparents and older relatives speak about black people…to the point where I tuned out anything else they had to say about racial problems and argued with then incessantly about how wrong they were. I was stupid to do so.

    The main point that they tried to drum into my thick skull was that the influx of blacks had destroyed the city of Baltimore. I totally ignored the fact that Baltimore has one of the highest crime rates and drug rates in the U.S. It is the literal armpit of the country. I could not make the connection between race and the bloody war zone that had become Baltimore. I stubbornly insisted that whites were to blame for keeping the black people down in poverty, and that is why people like my grandparents had an unsafe city to live in. It was their own racism, I said, that created the problems they have. Understandably, they were not too thrilled with me, but, unlike many from that generation, respected my views and just figured I would learn differently when I saw more of the world.

    I really never saw Baltimore in all of its ghetto-like glory until after I entered college, and got summer jobs that required me to take public transportation through and to the city. I never understood what my grandfather spoke of when he talked about the way the city was before the influx of other racial groups until I studied the migration patterns of black people from the agrarian South to the Northern and Mid-Atlantic cities in my history work. The largest migrations seemed to be during the periods of the two world wars. Yet my experiences in the city, the things I saw, the people that I met, made me truly reevaluate the views of my elders.

    From a historian’s point of view, I saw the shadow of what once was a beautiful city. Baltimore is famous for its Victorian row houses with lovely white marble steps. It also has quite a few colonial houses still standing in the Fells Point area. Fells Point is one of the few bright spots remaining in Baltimore, but even this is slowly being eaten up by the Hispanic ghetto. In any case, the houses are beautiful, and even in the worst neighborhoods, one can still see remnants of the beautiful scroll woodwork on the plainest of row houses (which was probably the pride of some European woman in an era long gone), lovely churches, and quaint little shops. I can almost picture the clop-clop of horses, the images of well kept, if busy streets. Even in a ghetto, the shadow of the care, love, and PRIDE of those who inhabited these neighborhoods before all went to the gangs, the garbage filled streets, and the whores, still haunts the place. That is what makes Baltimore such a sad place to me. I walk in an area that was once a Polish enclave, or a Greek enclave…lovely houses are boarded up and filled with bullet holes, churches are boarded up. The streets stink of urine, there are black children selling crack out in front of the local school (which was built by the Poles or the Irish or whatever group had been there previously). One of the local drunken heroin addicts decides to make a mission out of chasing me down the street shouting racial epithets. There are whores on the street corners and pimps in fine suits (believe me, I thought this stuff only existed in movies or in stereotypes, but it is so real). As I travel through one of these neighborhoods, on foot, or more safely, on a bus (sometimes), I without fail see some kind of billboard or wall painting on the side of a bullet-riddled building celebrating the black experience. They are lovely murals, to be sure…yet the irony of the state of the neighborhoods in which they are placed is not lost on me. After a while these “works of art” seemed to mock me, and my city.

    I would be riding through neighborhoods like these in a bus, and hear the almost inevitable conversation between the black people about how the whites were keeping them down and destroying their neighborhoods. I had to ride these busses out of necessity and yet I had a sense that this was my city too. My family had come right off the boat in Baltimore harbor. You would think that I was a mass murderer or had four heads with the way that some black people treated me, the stony glances, the refusal to sit next to a white person. I have even had numerous bus drivers not stop for me if they saw I was the only one at a stop. I did not connect this to race until I heard similar stories from other white people working or living in the city. I got tired of panhandlers screaming at me to give them my money, and acting as if I had assaulted them when I refused. What disturbed me most was the constant sexual harassment from black males, usually obviously under the influence of something. I am just under five feet and weigh about 95 pounds. I could not fight off an attacker. There were times that I was so happy to make it home alive that I would cry in relief. I am not saying that I did not meet nice people that I could talk to in my commute of various races, but even this did not seem to conquer the constant sense of choking fear I felt. And through all this having to listen to the constant diatribes against whites: They put drugs in our neighborhoods so our sons couldn’t compete with theirs!” and other such nonsense.

    No one is forcing anyone to fill their neighborhood streets with garbage, buy a gun and shoot people, sell drugs, not bathe, urinate in public transportation vehicles, not keep their houses in good, safe repair, harass innocent women and elderly people, and generally turn what once was a nice place to live into the 10th level of hell! The very thought that I am somehow responsible for these people living this way or owe them something, especially the money I work for….it is reprehensible!

    It has been said to me that many immigrant groups damage the framework of a society before they integrate themselves into it. This is true in the sense that many Anglo-American families here for generations had much distrust for other European immigrants that came along in the 1800s and in the early 1900s. Yet despite discrimination, families like my Polish one worked very hard and were able to give their children, the 1st generation (this would be my grandparents, in my case), the framework to be able to be raised with English (even if they knew not a word) a decent academic or at least, a vocational education, to the point where you could not tell the difference between my Polish grandfather and say, a white man with English ancestry whose family had been here since the Revolution. This is incredible to me! My great-grandmother had a paralyzed husband, ran a grocery store, had 11 children, knew barely a world of English, but had her American-born children study English, and taught them practical math. All of her children obtained good jobs, even with limited formal schooling. My grandfather even made a living as a writer for major newspapers and still used Polish to help his ethnic community.

    I hope I am not painting too rosy a picture here, I know that immigrant communities were poor and dirty (think tenements). I am sure that the immigrant-filled Baltimore city of the late 1800s stank like horse poo and human excrement, was hopelessly crowded, and had crime to match…yet European immigrants were still able to lift themselves up through incessant hard work. Hispanic immigrants seem much different to me, even the few years I have lived here has shown me that their neighborhoods are almost cancerous, destructive of property, dirty, and unsafe for women. I was walking back from the Fells Point area with a friend and I pointed out the apparent differences between immigrants of times past and our growing Hispanic community and the changes that occurred with the black migrations. He turned to me and, speaking about the Hispanics, said “These people don’t care. They don’t have any respect for the communities they are moving to, it’s a cultural thing.”

    I think he is right. It seems like these groups of people just move in on what is good, leech and take, leech and take, and give very little back. Then when what used to be something good isn’t so good anymore because its been bled dry with no input from them, they scream at the white people and blame us, calling us racist and accusing us of keeping them down. They feel they are entitled to all of the public money to clean up the mess they have made for themselves. In the case of the Hispanics, many they feel they owe this country nothing and don’t even learn our language or attempt to understand our culture. There are always exceptions in every group, including whites, but in general, this is what I see. I am being honest.

    Don’t give me this bull about fears of these groups “losing their heritage,” many Americans with European ancestry still learn or are able to learn their native languages, keep religious traditions etc. Yet in these groups it was also important to learn about the host culture to be successful, to take pride in their neighborhoods and homes, no matter how humble…not to leech off the government. This seems to be the sweeping trend these days.

    So in regard to the views of my older relatives, those who could remember a different Baltimore, I have to say that they were right. I should have listened to them and not written them off as intolerant people. Although I don’t agree with violence or slurs, there is very little reason to be tolerant of the actions of some groups…if tolerance means the destruction of your home.


    What I Would Like to See:


    I am almost convinced that it would be the best thing for the races to be separated. The differences in behavior and ideology tear us apart and do not make us stronger….any racial group seems to suffer from it. I want a world where I can say that I am proud to be white, proud of my ancestors and their accomplishments without being branded a hate-monger. I do not want violence, although many cities are already racial battlegrounds. This is why I say separate. I am not a hate filled person. I don’t want to lynch anyone or hurt people. I respect and affirm the right of all ethnic groups and races to have pride in their accomplishments. I just want to live in a society where I can be proud of who I am too. It is my right to be racially aware…there is no hatred in that! Black crime can destroy the cities that it comes into, and yet they are still allowed to have pride parades, paint murals on buildings that are there to convince us how healthy “diversity” is and how honor-filled their communities are when they cannot even police themselves. They even hold up an adulterer as a person for all people of any race to emulate (MLK), yet condemn entirely any white figure that does not hold to the most stringent of moral codes and ideology political correctness. White people are not perfect either, that should not mean that we cannot have pride in the good we have done. I want white children to be able to embrace better role models from their own communities. There are good, honorable white people, contrary to what many of these “civil rights” groups would have children believe. I want to build a society that does not shame our children for being white and does not guilt them into being apologetic spineless lackeys for the PC crowd. I don’t want them going through life feeling like they owe someone everything they have…the way I was taught. I want the educational system to allow me to teach history with integrity, and not force me to propagandize and rationalize for the benefit of interest groups that rarely represent the feelings of those students unfortunate enough to be inflicted with their bile. Oh, and I would like my city back too. I want my HOME back. I want it to be safer for the people who made it a nice place before all the crime and the drugs, people who had to flee from the destruction and fear, and wish they could help now.

    Ladybug22

    Any comments?

    http://www.stormfront.org/forum/showthread.php?t=124415

    Baltimore Circa 1893
    Last edited by Gladstone; Tuesday, March 30th, 2004 at 07:07 AM.
    Turman found a copy of The Graduate, and thought highly enough of the story that he made a movie he considered to be 90-percent faithful to the book.

    But Turman and director Mike Nichols made one key adaptation, changing the Braddocks from WASP-y blonde characters into a dark-haired, more ethnic-looking family.

    From NPR's Present at the Creation

    http://www.npr.org/programs/morning/features/patc/graduate/

    http://www.norcalmovies.com/TheGraduate/tg11.jpg

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    Smile Re: An Introduction

    Hi,

    I wrote that article. I am glad that you found it interesting. I like the photograph you posted. Where did you get it from? It sort of livens it up a bit.

    I'm just sort of surprised that people have taken such an interest in my venting.

    I would appreciate it if you would let me know if you would like to post this anywhere else. I know that it is hard to keep control over where our internet posts end up, but this did start out as a hard-copy essay authored by myself.

    I posted this anonymously to see just what kind of responses I would get, positive and negative. It seems no one is interested in challenging my observations. I found this a bit dissapointing as I still feel a bit unsure about my emerging beliefs....I really don't know what they are yet, actually. I was actually looking for criticism from both sides, so to speak.

    In any case, thanks for the interest. I also found an interesting new message board to explore thanks to you!

    LadyBug22

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    Senior Member Gladstone's Avatar
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    Post Re: An Introduction

    Quote Originally Posted by LadyBug22
    Hi,

    I wrote that article. I am glad that you found it interesting. I like the photograph you posted. Where did you get it from? It sort of livens it up a bit.

    I'm just sort of surprised that people have taken such an interest in my venting.

    I would appreciate it if you would let me know if you would like to post this anywhere else. I know that it is hard to keep control over where our internet posts end up, but this did start out as a hard-copy essay authored by myself.

    I posted this anonymously to see just what kind of responses I would get, positive and negative. It seems no one is interested in challenging my observations. I found this a bit dissapointing as I still feel a bit unsure about my emerging beliefs....I really don't know what they are yet, actually. I was actually looking for criticism from both sides, so to speak.

    In any case, thanks for the interest. I also found an interesting new message board to explore thanks to you!

    LadyBug22
    Hi LadyBug22,

    I am glad that you have found this message board of interest! The photo I posted at the end of the fine essay you wrote is from this page of a much larger site about historic Maryland

    http://websearch.cs.com/cs/img.jsp?i...&filter=&site=

    In hindsight I should probably have had your prior approval before posting the essay here at this site (my apologies ) and I certainly will ask for that in future should I desire to post it elsewhere . My ancestor who first came to America was in Maryland in 1660 (something I have only learned of the past few months) and I find the state therefore of a certain interest.

    It's funny you should post this as I have been meaning to post back at the site your essay was initially posted at (yes, about your observations).

    Would it be okay to PM you LadyBug22?
    Turman found a copy of The Graduate, and thought highly enough of the story that he made a movie he considered to be 90-percent faithful to the book.

    But Turman and director Mike Nichols made one key adaptation, changing the Braddocks from WASP-y blonde characters into a dark-haired, more ethnic-looking family.

    From NPR's Present at the Creation

    http://www.npr.org/programs/morning/features/patc/graduate/

    http://www.norcalmovies.com/TheGraduate/tg11.jpg

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    Post Re: An Introduction

    Quote Originally Posted by Gladstone
    Would it be okay to PM you LadyBug22?
    Sure! Depending on when you do this, I may not answer for a week. I am going out of town for Easter and won't have access to a computer until at the earliest, next Tuesday.

    LadyBug22

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    Post Re: An Introduction

    I wonder why the right edge is cut off in my post above? Odd.

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    Post Re: An Introduction

    That is one of the most unbiased views of how things are in America that I've read. I really appreciate you putting that down in digital format...any long writings that I create turn into long rants. I'm sure we have had similar experiences. I don't believe that most white Americans see how racist the 'oppressed' blacks are towards us in daily dealings. As I grow older I look back to situations in my youth and realize why I was treated in 'special' ways by 'role model' blacks. I hope you continue to post here on Skadi.

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