View Poll Results: Spare the Rod or Spoil the Child?

Voters
141. You may not vote on this poll
  • Some Spanking for Discipline has never damaged a child's later life.

    100 70.92%
  • I would never spank my children, that's too old-fashioned and not good.

    20 14.18%
  • I don't know yet and I don't want to think about it now.

    9 6.38%
  • None of above, I explain...

    12 8.51%
Page 1 of 12 12345611 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 115

Thread: Methods of Parenting/Disciplining Children

  1. #1
    Naturbursche
    „Friend of Germanics”
    Funding Membership Inactive
    Boche's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Last Online
    Wednesday, December 24th, 2008 @ 10:35 AM
    Ethnicity
    German
    Country
    Germany Germany
    Gender
    Age
    34
    Posts
    1,580
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    0
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    10
    Thanked in
    10 Posts

    Methods of Parenting/Disciplining Children

    Do you think that children should be spanked? Have people gone too far with Liberalism and other New-Age Hypes and have we become too soft with children?

    What do you think?

    I think that mothers have become to soft - when i go to a supermarket in a big city i see it alot - a child screaming and yelling so the mother just gets him what he wants to make him shut up.
    As the child grows older, he gets it into his head, that all he has to do to get his way is make a fuss.


    When i was a younger, if i started screaming somewhee in public to get something i wanted, my mother told me to shut up or i'll never get anything i want. If it was at home and i didn't show respect to someone of my family i got 2-3 slaps into my face or on my butt (depended on my age).
    I'm happy about it, with it i learned respect, discipline and how to handle big problems and other issues.


    What's your opinion about it?




    Gruß,
    Boche

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Outdoorsman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Last Online
    Saturday, November 3rd, 2007 @ 12:59 AM
    Age
    44
    Posts
    89
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    0
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    0
    Thanked in
    0 Posts
    I think discipline is fine as long as it doesn't cross the line into abuse.

    Discipline builds strong, well-balanced people. Abuse destroys people and leaves them with problems for the rest of their lives.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Ægir's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Last Online
    Friday, August 24th, 2012 @ 05:45 AM
    Status
    Available
    Ethnicity
    Scottish
    Ancestry
    Scotland, Norway, England, Germany
    Subrace
    Nordid
    Country
    Confederate States Confederate States
    Gender
    Family
    Married parent
    Occupation
    Historian
    Politics
    Agrarian
    Religion
    Heathen
    Posts
    317
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    0
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    8
    Thanked in
    7 Posts
    Spanking is good for children up to a certain point. It should be used until a child develops reasoning ability and other forms of punishment are more effective. That being said there are some basic guidelines that I think all mothers and fathers should use. Spanking should never be face slapping as slapping someone across the face is disrespectful and you can not have someone respect you if you are not civil with them even if he or she is just a child. Spanking should also not be done in the public eye for that exact same reason. I also strongly believe that spanking should not be done out of anger…but out of punishment. For example when I was very young I was deserving of a spanking from time to time. When those times came my father would wait sometimes several hours before we go home to deal out the punishment (that waiting knowing that it was coming was often worse than the spanking itself). Then when we got home (or if we were at home when I was acting up just after a period of time) my father would tell me to go get his belt and go to my room. I was probably only back there for ten to fifteen minutes but it always seemed like an eternity. He would then come in spank me…explain why he did it…and then make me spend the next while in my room (with my sore but) to think about what I had done. This action on his part has given me a great respect for him and when I have to spank my child (I have not had to yet as he is still under two years of age) that is the method and these are the standards that I will apply.
    For the Ancestors who came before us, the Generations that flow form us, for the Blood that is in our veins.

  4. #4
    I agree that many parents these days have become too soft. They tend to balk at the idea of strict discipline due to societal pressures... too many people are too quick to pass judgment on parents - particularly the childless.

    I recall when my first born was about 2 years old being out in public with him and he was throwing a tantrum... hitting me, pulling my hair and screaming... now normally at home I would firmly say "no" and put him to his room for a couple of minutes for "time out" (this worked for him at this age), but as we were out in public, this wasn't an option, and he was too young to really understand the threat "I will put you in the car and take you home if you don't behave"... so I was left just having to grab hold of his hand to prevent him hitting me and taking him off away from other people to calm him down. First thing I hear is a young guy (probably in his early 20's and childless) say "what that boy needs is a bit of discipline" and when I looked at him he was rolling his eyes up. Made me feel like a piece of shit - I was doing the best I could, but apparently this wasn't good enough... Then a minute later, an older woman (maybe 50 or so) "told me off" for being too harsh, he was "only a baby" afterall.... (Somehow holding his hands back and saying "no" to him was too harsh.)

    Point is, parents can't win. Parents have to be perfect, and everyone thinks that parents should parent their children a different way. There is just no respect for parents these days - not just from children, but from adults too. Little acknowledgment for the fact that no one knows a child like the parents do, who have been with them consistantly ever since birth - and therefore, no one would know better how to discipline the individual child than the parent.

    Obviously too, all of the childless folk are necessarily completely ignorant as to just how hard it is to be a parent.

    Is it any wonder that so many parents now have become too soft?? They're too afraid to do anything with their kids lest they are judged as abusive or too harsh or too soft or whatever... Most parents just want to do the right thing, and they love their children SO MUCH that they don't want to stuff this whole parenting caper up....

    Really, its not parents who are to blame for the fact that there is such little respect for parental authority these days... general societal attitudes regarding parenting are to blame, and these need to change. Once society begins to respect parents, and have faith in them, then parents' confidence will grow, and disciplining their kids will become easier.

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    SineNomine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Last Online
    Sunday, November 9th, 2008 @ 05:25 AM
    Ethnicity
    Germanic
    Subrace
    Mediterranid
    Country
    England England
    Location
    Nord du pays
    Gender
    Age
    34
    Family
    Single
    Occupation
    Student
    Politics
    Libertarian
    Religion
    MYOB
    Posts
    2,131
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    0
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    5
    Thanked in
    5 Posts
    Mild force to subdue recalcitrant toddlers is a good thing IMO. Though, it should be a last resort. It amazed me when I was in Sweden what a hassle this one grandchild caused its old ouma. It practically devolved into granny abuse. I was surprised the little brat was allowed to get away with it. Its mother soon came along though and gave it a good slap, which surprized me even more since I thought Swedes are averse to such things.

  6. #6
    Account Disabled on Request

    Join Date
    May 2006
    Last Online
    Thursday, May 28th, 2009 @ 03:48 PM
    Ethnicity
    English
    Subrace
    Bruenn
    Location
    europe
    Gender
    Posts
    4,142
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    0
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    25
    Thanked in
    25 Posts
    I wouldn't go further than a gentle swipe across the top of the head.

    Anything else just seems forced and calculated, like the parent is trying to live up to the image of a hard parent. Hitting a child with a belt is something Arabs/foreign types do.

    Ignoring children when they mis-behave is surely better. A lot of the "roughest" families with loud crazy children, will hit the children physically, and it makes no difference. Holding eye contact and being firm etc is civilised. My dad only hit me once and he apologised afterwards.

  7. #7
    Account Inactive

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Last Online
    Tuesday, November 11th, 2008 @ 08:44 AM
    Subrace
    Faelid
    Gender
    Posts
    1,474
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    0
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    1
    Thanked in
    1 Post
    I don't see anything wrong with spanking a child, but I also think it depends on every child, parent and situation and it shouldn't be the only form of discipline/punishment. I also don't support smacking a kid's face or using a belt or some other implement either, especially because it's usually not necessary-especially for young children. When you start spanking kids often and severely it ends up becoming useless and not about reforming or disciplining the child, but purely about hurting them and breaking their spirit, and I consider that abuse.

  8. #8
    Active Funding Member
    „Friend of Germanics”
    Skadi Funding Member
    Æmeric's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Last Online
    @
    Ethnicity
    Anglo-American
    Ancestry
    Britain, Ulster, Germany, America
    Subrace
    Dalofaelid+Baltid/Borreby
    Y-DNA
    R-Z19
    mtDNA
    U5a2c
    Country
    United States United States
    State
    Indiana Indiana
    Gender
    Age
    59
    Family
    Married
    Politics
    Anti-Obama
    Religion
    Conservative Protestantism
    Posts
    6,350
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    641
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    877
    Thanked in
    467 Posts
    I have spanked but I always used my hands. Usually the threat of a spanking is enough to get them to behave because they know I'll do it. But when they get to be as big as you spanking doesn't work anymore. With my oldest I have to threaten his driving privileges.

  9. #9
    Moderator
    „Friend of Germanics”
    Funding Membership Inactive
    Sigurd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Last Online
    Wednesday, September 30th, 2020 @ 09:35 PM
    Status
    Available
    Ethnicity
    German
    Ancestry
    Bavarii, Saxones, Suebi, Alamanni
    Subrace
    Borreby + Atlantonordoid
    Country
    Germany Germany
    Location
    Einöde in den Alpen
    Gender
    Age
    32
    Zodiac Sign
    Libra
    Family
    Engaged
    Politics
    Tradition & Homeland
    Religion
    Odinist
    Posts
    9,129
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    77
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    413
    Thanked in
    298 Posts
    I wasn't spanked, though I think it would have been for my benefit if I had been, to some extent. I was never corporally restrained and albeit all the punishment I was given I think a slight slap on my backside would have worked often enough to a better effect than grounding me or disallowing me to watch the football in the afternoon.

    Corporal punishment can be quite rigid, especially as it was in the "old days". It sounds all so bad in these liberal days, but our English teacher told us that when he was young and caught talking out of order in class he had to go to the teacher who brought down the ruler along the nose onto the tongue...it was sure the last time he did talk out of order! That is still fine. Sometimes they were whipped too for misbehaving back then or getting a cane about a dozen times.

    Personally I think that the last is maybe going to far for it borders on abuse (a spanking and a beating are two very different things), which is of course not alright. I am more for the condensed version - such as giving a hard slap on the hands or on the backside for the more serious infractions. If used by sensible parents with the right measure of it can show benefit:

    A friend has the theory that the parents have to find the right measure of spanking their child - if they do it too often, then the child will be overly introverted, will try to stay clear of social contacts, talk too little and be afriad of too many things. If they do it too rarely, then the child will be overly extroverted without a feeling for distance between persons, talk too much, be overly (hyper-)active and take too many risks. If however it is spanked the right amount of times for the right things with the right instenisty, then it is fit enough to see what measures of feelings it ought to use and will learn to judge things on a rational basis. Sounds very Freudian in the type of analysis, but he is definitely on to something.

    Believe me, when I was young, I learnt independence - but never discipline.

    Of course there are other things that make children accept their bad conduct. Bear in mind though that there is IMO two main categories of that.

    1) The "listen or feel" principle:

    Obviously you should not try this out on the road to teach your kid that the road is dangerous - it will probably not live to learn their lesson. However when we're talking about water, fire etc. I believe it works. I burnt my fingers once, and for sure never played around with a match again until I was offered to light the candles on the Yule Tree aged about 11 or 12. Accepting that water was wet, likewise, taught me not to play football on the lawn beside the swimming pool at my grandparents'.

    2) The sanctioning of punishment:

    First of all, it should be to an appropriate level. Grounding your child for eating sweets before dinner will have as much effect as merely telling it off for punching his little brother to bleeding. Common sense should be applied here.

    Secondly, one can always combine this with the first method of discipline: My mom looks after children for a job, and when they misbehave, she makes them sit apart from each other in separate rooms for a period of time - usually it works.

    Punishment can include all kinds of things, and I see no good point why physical restraint should not come into these things, if used by sensible parents in a sensible manner. Having seen the "condensed version" I favour used on one of my two half-brothers whilst the other enjoys a rather liberal upbringing. The former is definitely the more discplined, yet without bad repercussions. The latter clearly is getting along fine, but developping too much of a cheeky manner that will hopefully not be to his detriment in the naive days of youth when he enters it.

    IMO, smacking your child once and again if it truly deserves it, is not a sin, and it has worked just fine for many hundreds of years amongst our folk. As long as it is not an abuse of the parental power but a sensible measure used in a sensible way, it can be truly to a child's benefit: You know, as long as your child always know what it is getting it for and it is well-deserved it is fine. Hey, being hit by your mom or dad on your bum sure does hurt less than to be knocked down by a car. As brutal as it sounds, kids need to know where the boundaries are, and strategical use of the hand can assist in that very effectively. They don't have to be angels, but there are a few things it needs to learn.

    Yes, you're right, the central phrase is sensible use. If that is applied, nothing can go amiss: the most people I have talked to who did not benefit from being spanked is because they were spanked to often and too harshly. Those mildly swatted rarely say it was to their detriment.

    And on a last point, of course there are kids that don't need it and others that absolutely do, but that is a story for another time.

  10. #10
    Account Inactive

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Last Online
    Tuesday, November 11th, 2008 @ 08:44 AM
    Subrace
    Faelid
    Gender
    Posts
    1,474
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    0
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    1
    Thanked in
    1 Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Sigurd View Post

    Corporal punishment can be quite rigid, especially as it was in the "old days". It sounds all so bad in these liberal days, but our English teacher told us that when he was young and caught talking out of order in class he had to go to the teacher who brought down the ruler along the nose onto the tongue...it was sure the last time he did talk out of order! That is still fine. Sometimes they were whipped too for misbehaving back then or getting a cane about a dozen times.
    Corporal punishment still happens quite often in certain places in the US. My siblings and I all went to Catholic school and they administered corporal punishment as a regular means of discipline until the late 80s. If you go to places in the south of the US paddling is still common, especially in the bible belt. Personally I wouldn't tolerate someone else hitting my child, but there's no doubt many of those kids need it

Page 1 of 12 12345611 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Free-Range Parenting
    By Nachtengel in forum Parenthood & Family
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: Monday, February 11th, 2019, 11:50 AM
  2. The Dangers of Distracted Parenting
    By Bärin in forum Parenthood & Family
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: Saturday, November 3rd, 2018, 08:48 AM
  3. The Futility of Gender-Neutral Parenting
    By Nachtengel in forum Parenthood & Family
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: Sunday, March 5th, 2017, 03:39 PM
  4. Do Whites Need Training Before Parenting Black Children?
    By Mrs. Lyfing in forum Parenthood & Family
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: Thursday, June 9th, 2011, 11:45 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •