View Poll Results: Spare the Rod or Spoil the Child?

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  • Some Spanking for Discipline has never damaged a child's later life.

    100 70.92%
  • I would never spank my children, that's too old-fashioned and not good.

    20 14.18%
  • I don't know yet and I don't want to think about it now.

    9 6.38%
  • None of above, I explain...

    12 8.51%
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Thread: Methods of Parenting/Disciplining Children

  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ferryman View Post
    Interesting. The female teachers I encountered, though maybe respected, weren't feared by anyone. All they did was write a note to home or give a 'serious talk'. Sometimes they used some crooked tricks as well. That goes for most male teachers as well though, but a few of them relied on physical disciplining and intimidation which kept order in their class and again only led to the more restless cases to make trouble at other classes cause there was no 'punishment' there.
    Isn't corporal punishment disallowed now? I've had female teachers who'd have no qualms physically disciplining their students (and they were definitely able of this), but almost all schools have forbidden corporal punishment. Even intimidation is considered taboo now. (Back on topic) Normally this shouldn't be a problem, but nowadays troublemakers are not removed from classes (in fact quite the opposite) and teachers are left with few ways to handle them. I don't agree with corporal punishment at schools - I think this is a parental privilege,- but it seems problematic elements simply get away with anything they like (at least in public schools - private schools are not so tolerant.)

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by SineNomine View Post
    Isn't corporal punishment disallowed now? I've had female teachers who'd have no qualms physically disciplining their students (and they were definitely able of this), but almost all schools have forbidden corporal punishment. Even intimidation is considered taboo now. (Back on topic) Normally this shouldn't be a problem, but nowadays troublemakers are not removed from classes (in fact quite the opposite) and teachers are left with few ways to handle them. I don't agree with corporal punishment at schools, but it seems problematic elements simply get away with anything they like (at least in public schools - private schools are not so tolerant.)
    Yes, it's disallowed but some do it anyway. And I agree about the problematic situation with troublemakers.

  3. #23
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    I also agree that mothers have become soft - Nothing is wrong with disciplining!

    It's actually sickening to me when mothers see their kids doing something wrong, selfish, or disrespectful, and they pull the "oh, they're just kids" line. Expecting that the child will grow out of his/her behavior, when in fact it will be quite the opposite (or so I have witnessed).

    I think discipline for children is very necessary.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneEnglishNorman View Post
    I wouldn't go further than a gentle swipe across the top of the head.

    Anything else just seems forced and calculated, like the parent is trying to live up to the image of a hard parent. Hitting a child with a belt is something Arabs/foreign types do.

    Ignoring children when they mis-behave is surely better. A lot of the "roughest" families with loud crazy children, will hit the children physically, and it makes no difference. Holding eye contact and being firm etc is civilised. My dad only hit me once and he apologised afterwards.
    I disagree; I think the swipe across the head is far worse than the belt. It is simply disrespectful (please see my previous post). I feel that it is better to be calculating if you must use corporal punishment…it should be punishment not a reactive behavior performed out of anger.
    For the Ancestors who came before us, the Generations that flow form us, for the Blood that is in our veins.

  5. #25
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    I’m still young. I have no experience with kids.

    I got beat with large spoons, belts, rulers, metal rods, brushes, yardsticks, hands, spatulas, TV remotes… almost any kind of long object within my parents reach. I think I turned out okay. :o

    Don’t be afraid to give your kids a great ass beating. Human beings are like animals, and they need discipline. For example, have you ever had a pet animal? If you didn’t train or discipline it, how would you think the animal would act? The best time to begin training a dog it when it’s a young puppy. Training an older dog is like training a cat.

    Quote Originally Posted by OneEnglishNorman View Post
    I wouldn't go further than a gentle swipe across the top of the head.
    Don’t hit them on the head. That’s a way to cause brain damage to their skull, because the skull bones aren’t fully fused. What would cause more damage? Dropping a baby’s head on the floor or an adult’s head?

    I almost forgot. Bring a large metal spoon with holes for long road trips.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eiríkr View Post

    Don’t be afraid to give your kids a great ass beating. Human beings are like animals, and they need discipline. For example, have you ever had a pet animal? If you didn’t train or discipline it, how would you think the animal would act? The best time to begin training a dog it when it’s a young puppy. Training an older dog is like training a cat.
    Harsh beatings aren't necessary when disciplining a child. You can 'train' your child effectively without the beatings that often cause the child trauma both physically and mentally. I want my child to respect me, not fear me

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by mischak View Post
    Harsh beatings aren't necessary when disciplining a child. You can 'train' your child effectively without the beatings that often cause the child trauma both physically and mentally. I want my child to respect me, not fear me
    I agree. It's not necessary to be overly abusive. Perhaps I was being too sarcastic.

    There are far too many factors to give a precise answer. It all depends on the circumstances.

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneEnglishNorman
    Hitting a child with a belt is something Arabs/foreign types do.
    Arabs and foreign types often have a lot more sense, because they haven't come from societies permeated by liberalism. I think in many respects our society could do well to become more like theirs, and indeed Western society was much more like that in the past.

    A lot of these supposedly "foreign" aspects (often viewed negatively) of immigrant societies are what was traditional in the West, and really the modern view is the foreign, upstart one.

    Not that I think hitting with a belt should necessarily be done (in some cases it probably should).

    Ignoring children when they mis-behave is surely better.
    Kids should be taught not only that they won't get their wish by mis-behaving, but that they must not mis-behave.

    A lot of the "roughest" families with loud crazy children, will hit the children physically
    I've seen families like that too, but it's not the hitting of the children which is the problem, it probably has more to do with the general disorderly nature of the family. Among other things, the parents don't set a good example, so the kids fail to see the point; if kids get smacked for something and then see the parents doing exactly the same thing without a care, the kids just won't see a problem with doing it, and the parents will fail to earn respect from them.

  9. #29
    Quote Originally Posted by Rhydderch
    I've seen families like that too, but it's not the hitting of the children which is the problem, it probably has more to do with the general disorderly nature of the family. Among other things, the parents don't set a good example, so the kids fail to see the point;
    Yes, I personally think the main problem with such families is that the parents aren't setting consistent boundaries of acceptable behaviour at all for their children. (Random and rather unpredictable hitting out of anger and frustration cannot count as a boundary setting or disciplinary method - and this is all that a lot of these parents engage in, rather than disciplining their kids in a rational and intelligent fashion.) Much of the time the parents themselves probably came from families in which boundaries were flimsy, inconsistent or non-existent, so they haven't learned these valuable parenting skills from their own parents...

    Successful methods of disciplining children will vary from child to child and from parent to parent... so I think judging one method or another as right or wrong just because it isn't appropriate for all is a bit naive and too simplistic. As with all disciplinary techniques, smacking can be done the wrong way (as I mentioned above) or it can be done in a controlled, intelligent and consistent way in order to achieve certain positive results.

    I personally have never had to use smacking as a disciplinary technique with my own kids... but I'm not opposed to it if it seems appropriate and successful for a particular child. I would consider it a last resort sort of thing though.

  10. #30
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    I only have one child (so far) but strongly aprove a varied but consistant method of discipline. The specifics vary with child parent and situation but if a child is over two-three they shoud know what to expect if they are disobedient/disrespectful/misbehave.

    I feel that discipline in whatever form should be done as soon as possible after the infraction by a parent that is not enraged. They need to know that you are not happy with them and their behavior but if they get hit when you are upset/out of control how can they learn discipline from you? If you are not in control of yourself how can you teach them.

    Abuse is never acceptable in leau of discipline.

    This is what I do. Show your child appropriate behavior. Explain what you do and why. I am sometimes amazed at what a three year old can understand. Make sure that they know they will always be loved. If they do not live up to standards removal of fun stuff (trip to the playground, kids music etc) or a trip to my bed where there are no kids books or other distractions from her time out. If that does not get her attention 3-5 swats on the bottom or being held until she calms down and argees to do as told. On occasion I have had to carry her to a private spot to restrain her but that is improving with time. Most days we do not have any negitive discipline.


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