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Thread: Don't you just hate chain mail?

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    Mad Don't you just hate chain mail?

    "Forward this to 10 people you love.

    By 9:14 am tomorrow, you will hear some good news.

    Or else, bad luck will follow you around, etc, etc"...

    Isn't this excruciatingly frustrating?

    I recieve tons of these in my daily mail, let alone additional crap (supposedly humorous stuff with huge attachments) that make my mailbox full and my facial muscles twitch

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    Sv: Don't you just hate chain mail?

    I received this chainmail that were supposed to collect 150 000 signatures for a "more humane asylumpolicy in Norway" ....This should be handed over to our dishonored primeminister for xmas...

    And no, my reply was not with my signature...

    What is perhaps worse, are telephone sale. They often break uninvited into the private quality time, and by that they had stated that they do not repect private time, and thererby not qualify to a polite answer.

    People that makes their living out of invading others qualitytime may sometimes deserve a hot little badtrip on the phone..?:
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    Re: Sv: Don't you just hate chain mail?

    Quote Originally Posted by Thore Hund View Post
    What is perhaps worse, are telephone sale. They often break uninvited into the private quality time, and by that they had stated that they do not repect private time, and thererby not qualify to a polite answer.

    People that makes their living out of invading others qualitytime may sometimes deserve a hot little badtrip on the phone..?:
    That's a whole other issue...but now that you mention it..!!!

    Last week, I was awoken on 9am Saturday morning by a Weight Watchers sort of thing...I nearly smashed the phone on the wall!!

    On Sunday, I was ill and my stomach was hurting. I took some painkillers and I went back to bed. Somebody started ringing furiously my doorbell. I didn't open, and they slided a piece of paper underneath my door mat.
    Guess what....Jehovah's witnesses!!!

    Not to mention the daily phonecalls from various banks, that want to convince you to get a new credid card or take a loan, and they won't hang up no matter how hard you explain that you are not interested...


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    Sv: Don't you just hate chain mail?

    Poff! ...So that were the blowout for now...Better move on to more positive views, above the annoyments and irritations that on view decepts the mind with darkness and hate, which is, and again leads to new spirals of unescessary waste of precious time...

    The chainmailers sometimes write " to someone you love.." , " but what lays in it is sometimes more like " someone you does not respect..."

    If the mail contains some threat of any kind, if the chain is broken, it is some kind of blackmailing, where the receiver are pressed, manupulated and threatened to do meaningless things, intended to invoke in them an idea of that they are not in power of their own lives themselves, but are dependent on the response to a more or less meaningless blakcmail.

    If it truly were so loving, it would not imply a threat?

    Here we are annualy plagued with various TV campaigns collecting money on the doors. This campaigns often have masshysterical emotional blackmailing aspects, and they use children and national TV to collect.

    I do not mind shearing, but this feels like blackmailing on the doors...Anyway, sometimes the option to give, comes as a wonderful gift...Makes me feel...a little better.

    Well, not as good as at the celebrities gastronomic orgies to collect money for starbing children in Africa....
    Last edited by Hoarsewhisper; Wednesday, November 8th, 2006 at 12:33 PM. Reason: dysnexia
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    Re: Don't you just hate chain mail?

    If you receive chain mail respond with black mail.

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    Re: Don't you just hate chain mail?

    Yeah, chain mail shows just how sheepish the human race can be. In my experience it's usually perpetuated by dumb girls over MSN. I remember back on the anniversary of the July 7th terrorist attacks, some idiots started a chain message, something like "put a rose in ur screen name to show ur support for the victims of 7/7, if u dont then something bad will happen 2 u or ur family members lolz!". I tried to explain to this girl that they were victims of bad leadership and she's all like "fuk of i dnt give a shit of ure opinion".

    The only enjoyable chain messages I receive are the ones from stoner friends on the 4th April. Stuff like "This is a virtual joint! Take a few tokes and then forward it to a friend! Happy 4/20!" Stoners...

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    Sv: Re: Don't you just hate chain mail?

    What is worse than fanmail, is to be called up and get poetry, swoamy declamed on the phone, and one have not a hearth to hurt the poet, cause it would mean too much....

    Then I lay the phone somewhere, does something else, and when I hear the sound from the phone stops, I take it up again and say something nice, but please do not poetry me on the phone!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Blood_Axis View Post
    On Sunday, I was ill and my stomach was hurting. I took some painkillers and I went back to bed. Somebody started ringing furiously my doorbell. I didn't open, and they slided a piece of paper underneath my door mat.
    Guess what....Jehovah's witnesses!!!
    They always come when one are weak, and the resistance is low, like they can smell...Same if one walk through town and looks sick or hurt, the emissars will be like cartoon vultures after anyone showing weakness...Even knock down the doors and or slide propaganda under the door...Vampires got their instincts

    Quote Originally Posted by pro-Alpine View Post
    If you receive chain mail respond with black mail.
    Mmmm sounds logical? Just be careful with threats, may be used against one later...

    Quote Originally Posted by Glyndŵr View Post
    The only enjoyable chain messages I receive are the ones from stoner friends on the 4th April. Stuff like "This is a virtual joint! Take a few tokes and then forward it to a friend! Happy 4/20!" Stoners...
    Mhhh...not bad, this is getting creative... Just push it into one of those new card readers...? A slice of pizza in the CD-slide, push the button, and mail it to Sudan!
    .

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    Re: Don't you just hate chain mail?

    Subject : RE: not a forward, just a copy

    | | | Inbox


    AND HERE'S MY REPLIES...


    Thanks for all the emails....

    Actually, TAKE ME OFF YOUR DAMNED EMAIL LIST! (just kidding)

    I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the
    glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every
    envelope that needs sealing.

    I just eat the whole rat anyway.

    Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same
    reason.

    I stab a hole in the side of the cans with my Mauser bayonet so it doesn't bother me too much.

    I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny
    Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

    I took advantage of the situation and used my savings to fly out visit the poor frail lassie in the hospital on her death bed. And then I gave Penny Brown her last multiple orgasims of her young, sweet life.

    I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive
    the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
    participating in their special e-mail program.

    I learned a cool email hoax trick and robbed Bill Gates instead by spraying poisoned aftershave in his face. (See below)

    I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking
    out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

    God and Jesus, Buddah and Allah, Satan and Thorburn, are already on my email CONTACTS list so I just send them jokes and stupid crap all the time anyway. If I need something, like a new car or a mountain removed, I just shoot them off a quick email, usually with an attachment that won't open or a URL link that won't connect.

    I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant
    freaks with no eyes or feathers.

    You know, this is really true. But what's weird is that most of the workers AND the customers are also mutant, cross-eyed freaks too. So I just save money by lingering in the dark alley behind the resturant and cannalbalize the greasy original recipe patrons on their way home from KFC. Sometimes I like to kill and eat the Extra Crispy ones.

    I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
    water buffalo on a hot day.

    I found that the deodorants made primarily from water buffalo musk glands contain no carcinogenic agents what-so-ever. Therefore, although I smell like a sweaty water buffalo like you too, I do so for entirely different reasons and with a slight wisp of lemon additive.

    Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I
    forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
    minutes.

    Crap! I thought I was to send the emails to FIVE friends within SEVEN minutes. No wonder I'm still a broke looser sitting in front of my computer screen all night. I never was good at math. Jenny (my sister) took all the math genes in our family anyhow! HAHA!

    Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can
    remove toilet stains.

    Conversly, I also quit drinking toilet water because it can remove Coca Cola stains.

    I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the
    car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

    I take a serial killer along so that a man does not crawl into my back seat now.

    I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these
    products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

    "Under God" is on their cans. It is UNDER their cans so that's why it was not seen by all these dumb a**holes. Hence the term, UNDER God. Duh?

    I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

    Instead, I just place the burritos and hotdogs directly on the microwave plate to cook. Now, I have e-coli bacterial infection growing in my intestines from the greasy crud left over I ate which I thought would just fry to death after I "nuked" it.

    And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup water in the
    microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me
    for life.

    This is actually true too. Haven't you heard that the Pentagon has replaced laser guided high explosive tipped nuclear cruise missles with flying microwaves with boiling cups of water in them instead to blow off the faces of our foes?

    I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
    pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

    As a final departing act of real love, Penny Brown gave me AIDS already. (See Above)

    I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
    perfume sample and rob me.

    This worked great on Bill Gates! (See Above)

    I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually
    Al Qaeda in disguise.

    Wow! I didn't know all the Al Queda operatives were really Mexicans!

    I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our
    American troops or the Salvation Army.

    Why hasn't any rednecks taken any pot shots at that great big ole damned lit up Target sign yet?

    I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
    number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica,
    Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

    You know, those 900 numbers may cost just as much as these other scams but at least it's safe sex. I should have just called Penny Brown in the hospital instead. Darn. (See Above)

    I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive
    my free replacement pair from Nike.

    No matter. At least I got these really cool hospital slipper socks from Penny Brown too. (Ditto)

    I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have
    their recipe.

    Nieman Marcus? You mean Needless Markup. I don't eat cookies from, nor buy overpriced goods from, any greedy assed jews. Call me anti-semetic if you wish, but my McDonald's cookies and Keebler's Peacan Sandies taste quite fine dipped in WHITE milk while nestled up in my Lazy Boy recliner reading my autographed copy of Mein Kampf under my star of david tatoo "lampshade" which Uncle Eichman willed to me after his military tribunal execution. (P.S. I got a critical warning email that the Keebler elves are in-fact flaming homosexuals midgets who will not boycott Wal Mart for saying "season's greetings" instead of Merry Christmas! to Muslim and Pagan customers but boy can those little pointy-eared faggots sure bake some mighty tastey cookies!)

    Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown
    African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when
    it bites my butt.

    The toilet stains left on my seat which I found REALLY could not be removed from a can of Coca Cola prevents big brown African spiders from lurking anywhere NEAR my toxic bathroom. (See Above)

    Thank you too for all the endless advice Andy Rooney has given us. I
    can live a better life now because he's told us how to fix everything.

    He has some pretty cool advice but didn't I get an email that claimed Andy Rooney was in perverse sexual relations with those frisky little Keebler's elves? Boycott facist Wal Mart Now! says the liberal college flunky.

    And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 I dropped
    in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex
    molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.Oh, and don't forget
    this one either!

    I am so embarassed. Is that all it takes to get fondled by a sex molester these days? And to think that I was paying a whopping $100.00 a pop to have a pervert grab my ankles with his slimey, hairy palms from under my truck! The inhumanity of it all.

    I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas
    companies!

    And don't forget the insane liberal mantra that SUV's actually support terrorism and cause global warming. Therefore, my 1982 Full Sized Ford Bronco with 351 Windsor, Holly 650 Double Pumper carb, Edlebrock Intake, Milodon Gear Driven, Mallory Distrib., Dual Exhaust with no emissions, 33 inch tires on 4 inch lift, Suped Up, 8 miles to the gallon BIG MAN TRUCK is really warming the planet so that all those poor illegal alien Mexican/Alberto Queda operative UPS and Fed Ex deliver drivers can feel much more at home on this planet wherever they may deliver. (See Above)

    If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next
    70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00
    PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back,
    causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it
    actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's
    ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...
    Have a wonderful day....

    Hmmm... That's the same curse the CEO of Nike got for not sending me my free sneakers for filling out a 4 hour online survey. (See Above)--------------------------------------------------------------------
    New Study

    A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has
    discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity
    read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.

    Um, well...I typed this response with the mouse in my undershorts this whole time.

    Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late

    Amen! Kaiser

    P.S. I sent an AMISH virus to your computer along with this email. Since the AMISH folks live a clean life of purity and are devoted to peity and integrity, likewise, the AMISH virus requires that you close this email with integrity and then promptly DELETE all the files and programs from your computer.
    Last edited by Kaiser; Thursday, November 9th, 2006 at 12:28 PM.

    We must secure the existence of Our Volk and a future for Germanic Children.

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    AW: Don't you just hate chain mail?

    Quote Originally Posted by Blood_Axis View Post
    "Forward this to 10 people you love.

    By 9:14 am tomorrow, you will hear some good news.

    Or else, bad luck will follow you around, etc, etc"...

    Isn't this excruciatingly frustrating?
    Yes, it really is. I got so much spam and chainmails that I registered myself a second email-adress, so I dont care about the spam mails on my first account anymore. I just had to inform all my friends about my new email-adress, but that is less work if you consider that you, otherwise, have to delete this spam nearly all the day.

    "Judge of your natural character by what you do in your dreams" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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