Jokes about Women bwahahahaha

[Taras Bulba]

http://www.webpost.net/ml/mlb9834/jokean/joke6.htm

Anti-Women Jokes

What's the worst part of getting a sex change from male to female?
When they remove half the brain.

Did you here that they discovered that there are female hormones in beer?
Yeah, apparently they had 100 guys each drink 10 pints of beer. They all started running their mouths and driving lousy.

Husband: Where do you want to go on holiday this year?
Wife: I want to go somewhere I've never been before.
Husband: Well, how about the kitchen?

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. -Dumas

What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
About 5drinks.

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

A beggar walks up to a well-dressed woman who is shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said,"God, I wish I had your willpower."

Why were shopping carts invented?
To teach women to walk on their hind legs.

Men have their faults. But women have only two.Everything they say. And everything they do.

Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.

This day holds a lot of meaning for me. It was on this day two years ago that I lost my dear wife and children. I will never forget that game of cards...

One golfer tells another: "Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!" The other replies: "GREATtrade!"

A man and his wife entered the dentist's office. "I want a tooth pulled," the man said. "We are in a big hurry, so let us not fool around with gas or Novocain or any of that stuff." "You are a very brave man," remarked the dentist. "Which tooth is it?" "Show him your bad tooth, honey," said the man to his wife.

Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two mothers-in-law.

Do you know what it means when you come home to a little affection, a little tenderness, and a little sympathy?
It means you're in the wrong house.

How do men define a 50/50 relationship?
She cooks/I eat
she cleans/I dirty
she irons/I wrinkle.

All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.

What are two reasons why women don't mind their own business?
1.No mind.
2.No business.

[Scoob]

Are you done yet?

You've been unsuccessful with women, so now you hate women. You've got some options available to you:

1. Remain a misogynistic wanker for the rest of your life.
2. Become gay
3. Grow up and shape up and maybe you'll get a woman to show some interest in you.

Oh yeah... I forgot, number 4:

4. Become a Catholic priest.
If you choose option 4, that doesn't say much for Catholicism, does it?

There's also option 5:

5. Cult of Attis
Do you know much about Roman history? Or you could also

6. Become a Gangstah Rapper
...and write angry songs about "b*ches and h0's." I think there's a new user here who can help you out with some clothes to wear if you choose that option.

[Johnny Reb]

Scoob:

A) I found those jokes to be hilarious!

B) Dating misfortunes aside, Pushkin has some good points regarding women.
Any nice guy with a brain and who lives in the city can make the same observations that Pushkin has. Vapid, venal women who like jerky guys exist the world over, and are only becomming more common nowadays.

[Mistress Klaus]

HE HE...these jokes are kinda funny and I must say as a female myself, alot of women are STUPID. NAGGERS. BITCHES. BORES.

[Taras Bulba]

Are you done yet?

No, I'm not. I got plenty more of this stuff. Don't like it, well tough! I didn't ask you to read this stuff.

You've got some options available to you:

1. Remain a misogynistic wanker for the rest of your life.
2. Become gay
3. Grow up and shape up and maybe you'll get a woman to show some interest in you.

Before I deal with each point of these "options" I couldn't help noticing what BS this truely. Ever notice now that whenever anything in the relationship goes wrong, it's always the guys fault? As if women are just somehow infallible now. What a fucking joke!

Now onto your "advice" Scoob:

1. Remain a misogynistic wanker for the rest of your life.

At least my eyes would be open.

2. Become gay

nope, that isn't happening.

And onto my favorite one:

3. Grow up and shape up and maybe you'll get a woman to show some interest in you.

Obviously you've never met or else you know that I'm very much a mature gentlemen around women. And that seems to be my "problem". Women these days don't go for mature gentlemen, they go for immature whiggers and such.

Making remarks about my penis size and how I can't get a date will not work with me Scooby Doo. My notions of manhood are defined by traditional chivalric values, not how many women I sleep with. If I have to remain a celibate to maintain those values, so be it. I'm not lowering myself in order to get a date with the low-life scum we take for women these days. Sad fact is that many men these days don't adhere to that, they see getting laid as the biggest mark of being a "man". Pathetic!

As for women showing interest in me. Well I'll address this on two levels:

1) Irionically, many of these dumbass sluts have actually paid more attention to me because of my out-spoken misogyny. Even on this board I've noticed the effects.

2) There are women who show interest in me and do appreciate the fact I am such a mature gentlemen. Sadly, they're usually much older than me and often are either already in a relationship, engaged, or already married. This happened with the most recent girl I was attracted who was 7 years older than me and engaged. I should also note that very often I get along just fine with Slavic women from Eastern Europe. So nice try at knee-jerking me, but the facts speak for themselves.

So if I haven't gotten a date, its probally because I expect more from a women(first of all decency and morality). Oh no, how dare I ask a woman to be of decent character.

Oh yeah... I forgot

Yes, I'm sure you forget quite a lot.

4. Become a Catholic priest.

I've always considered it.

If you choose option 4, that doesn't say much for Catholicism, does it?

Oh.....so now you want to insult my faith now don't you? Not a smart move on your part. I'd probally make a decent priest and a good apologist for the faith.

6. Become a Gangstah Rapper
...and write angry songs about "b*ches and h0's." I think there's a new user here who can help you out with some clothes to wear if you choose that option.

As I said before, I have principles and will not lower myself to that level.

Now, I have some advice for you Scooby. Grab your ears and pull, you might be able get your head out of your own smelly ass!

[Taras Bulba]

Scoob:

A) I found those jokes to be hilarious!

Yeah well, apparently Scooby Doo here doesn't have a sense of humor.

B) Dating misfortunes aside, Pushkin has some good points regarding women.
Any nice guy with a brain and who lives in the city can make the same observations that Pushkin has. Vapid, venal women who like jerky guys exist the world over, and are only becomming more common nowadays.

Exactly! This is probally more important to my views than actually getting a date. I really couldn't care less about that, I'm concern and pissed off at the shit quality nature of women these days.

But Scooby doesn't notice that, no Scooby just thinks Pushkin is upset about not getting a date. If that were true, I would've slept with that one girl who literally begged me to fuck her. I didn't, why? First off, I hated her guts beyond hell and told her how I felt upfront, which ironically seem to have made me more attractive in her eyes. Second, I don't engage in pre-marital sex and definately not with trashy teenage sluts/whores.

So like I said before, Scooby's attempt at making fun of my penis size didn't work because such remarks have no effect on me. My manhood isn't defined by that.

[Scáthach]

1) Irionically, many of these dumbass sluts have actually paid more attention to me because of my out-spoken misogyny. Even on this board I've noticed the effects.


So if I haven't gotten a date, its probally because I expect more from a women(first of all decency and morality). Oh no, how dare I ask a woman to be of decent character.






As I said before, I have principles and will not lower myself to that level.

I was going to say that in my experience of him, Pushkin is not really anti-women at all - merely that he wants a woman of his own moral calibre and dislikes the idiot slut girls that we all know make up a great percentage of young females, and as such couldn't be offensive to any girl of decent character - only to those of none, or of tenuous morals as such
Anyway, I say was because ''Irionically, many of these dumbass sluts have actually paid more attention to me because of my out-spoken misogyny. Even on this board I've noticed the effects.'' lines like this may not be in MY favour (eh Mr Pushkin?) and if so, may force me to re evaluate my former thoughts!

[Taras Bulba]

I was going to say that in my experience of him, Pushkin is not really anti-women at all - merely that he wants a woman of his own moral calibre and dislikes the idiot slut girls that we all know make up a great percentage of young females, and as such couldn't be offensive to any girl of decent character - only to those of none, or of tenuous morals as such

You're right on the money there.

Anyway, I say was because ''Irionically, many of these dumbass sluts have actually paid more attention to me because of my out-spoken misogyny. Even on this board I've noticed the effects.'' lines like this may not be in MY favour (eh Mr Pushkin?) and if so, may force me to re evaluate my former thoughts!

No need to change you views. Perhaps I should've put a space between that sentence and the last paragraph. Basically because of my out-spoken misogyny; I've noticed lately I'm also getting more attention from women; even from those claiming to like niceguys. This was true for the Polish girl I recently was truely to woo. I can even see some results here.

See, you just had a misunderstanding of what I said.

[Abby Normal]

Scoob:

A) I found those jokes to be hilarious!

B) Dating misfortunes aside, Pushkin has some good points regarding women.
Any nice guy with a brain and who lives in the city can make the same observations that Pushkin has. Vapid, venal women who like jerky guys exist the world over, and are only becomming more common nowadays.

True, some of them are quite funny... Like how Pushkin's bitterness regarding women was slightly amusing at first. It's getting kind of old, though... Apparently he's had a couple bad relationships with women like he describes.

Pushkin, not all women are like this (whether you choose to believe it or not; I happen to believe this because I know I'm nothing like that... Even if I might joke around like I am sometimes.) But I still like you due to your political leanings, but I get the impression that you hate me anyway because I'm a girl.

[Scoob]

Yeah well, apparently Scooby Doo here doesn't have a sense of humor.

Exactly! This is probally more important to my views than actually getting a date. I really couldn't care less about that, I'm concern and pissed off at the shit quality nature of women these days.

But Scooby doesn't notice that, no Scooby just thinks Pushkin is upset about not getting a date. If that were true, I would've slept with that one girl who literally begged me to fuck her. I didn't, why? First off, I hated her guts beyond hell and told her how I felt upfront, which ironically seem to have made me more attractive in her eyes. Second, I don't engage in pre-marital sex and definately not with trashy teenage sluts/whores.

Some of the "jokes" you posted are deeply malicious against women - that's my beef. This is a race preservation forum. If you don't respect women, then you don't respect your own race or any other. I find the couplng of violent misogyny with religious language particularly sickening, as this attitude has wrought extreme amounts of social and genetic damage on the human races.

There are lots of low-quality people around in the world. Many of them are women. The trick is to focus on high-quality people. Focusing on the dregs only brings people down to the level of dregs.

The Ilsa quote didn't mention size - that was your inference. Unless someone wants to start a thread discussing secondary sex characteristics of various subraces? That could be interesting, actually.

And yes, you correctly noted that my forum nick is an abbreviation of Scooby-Doo.