View Poll Results: How would you describe your relation with your parents?

Voters
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  • Very good

    33 27.97%
  • Good

    25 21.19%
  • Average

    18 15.25%
  • Not so good

    10 8.47%
  • Bad

    4 3.39%
  • Very bad and distant

    10 8.47%
  • Good with mother, bad with father

    12 10.17%
  • Good with father, bad with mother

    6 5.08%
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Thread: Your Relationship With Your Parents

  1. #41
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    Sorry to hear about the alcoholism, ND. I know two people who each had two parents like that. It was very traumatic and depressing. And one of them also mentioned the lack of communication and how that can isolate someone because the person you're trying to talk to is not in their right mind all the time. The other person I knew was a very young girl I was once at school with. She went off the rails and got violent and her brother turned into a bona fide delinquent. It's tragic. I really do sympathise. If you can avoid it happening to you then you will save yourself for a better life, so best of everything as you watch all this unfold.

  2. #42
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    Well i do not touch alcohol so i have avoided that much.
    Improvement makes straight roads but the crooked roads without improvment are roads of genius-----
    William Blake

  3. #43
    Senior Member forever united's Avatar
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    Sigrid
    im trying to come to terms with whats happened to me but its not easy..im still living my past everyday. i still live with my mother and my dad still at least trys to put up with my mother for my and my brothers sake. its crazy:runaway but somehow i always pull through and drag everyone else in my familt through as well.

  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by forever united
    Sigrid
    im trying to come to terms with whats happened to me but its not easy..im still living my past everyday. i still live with my mother and my dad still at least trys to put up with my mother for my and my brothers sake. its crazy:runaway but somehow i always pull through and drag everyone else in my familt through as well.
    That is pretty amazing on your part, forever united, but it can be very stressful because it puts a lot of pressure on you. I know this because I went through it as well. It proved way too much for me but you can't just drop it as you kind of inherit it and so you go on. This can lead to feelings that you can't stand the stress anymore. Do you ever get this?

    Is there not some way you can get help to lessen the burden and help you to cope with everything?

  5. #45
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    stress is my life with out is im sure what would happen. i do what i can this time of year is always hardest one me and as it is i have more and more people leaving on me. a lot of my friends are graduating this year. people who normaly help me cope will be gone in a matter on months and as bad as some of them feel about this they know they are going to colloge or military and laving me behind for another year.:runaway as hard as this is going to be i keep smileing knowing the Gods are not frowning on me for i try my hardest to follow their ways and thats what always pulles me though in the end.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by forever united
    stress is my life with out is im sure what would happen. i do what i can this time of year is always hardest one me and as it is i have more and more people leaving on me. a lot of my friends are graduating this year. people who normaly help me cope will be gone in a matter on months and as bad as some of them feel about this they know they are going to colloge or military and laving me behind for another year.:runaway as hard as this is going to be i keep smileing knowing the Gods are not frowning on me for i try my hardest to follow their ways and thats what always pulles me though in the end.
    This must be very hard for you. I know what it's like and I'm really sorry this has happened to you. You do also have us, of course. We are mostly too far away to do anything but we are here as a folk group and so you aren't alone any more.

    Our religion is one of ancestor veneration and in all these kind of faiths the ancestors, all our family members who are departed and many other related folk group members, are understood to be connected to us. So we are also never alone in that we are connected to them and we believe that they watch us and sometimes help us to get through certain things. We have to do the living, though, and they are there as our kind of umbilical cord.

    Also our faith gives to each of us a spirit guide, the fylgie. She comes to us when we are born and never leaves us unless we send her away by bad behaviour. In the mythology she accompanies us beyond death in our spirit form and speaks for us in front of the Gods. It is a good feeling to imagine her always there beside us, or in calling distance, or standing there when we need to make a decision or a choice. Again, a feeling that no matter how physically alone we may be or feel, we have our guides. But they remain these days mostly unknown to people and I'm sure many of our folk have been abandoned by them because they took a foreign faith and sent their fylgies away.

    But you will have yours because you have the faith. So when your friends go away you can imagine yourself standing there and your fylgie there beside you. You will not be alone. And you can start to plan your life because someone in your situation must have a plan for self determination.

    Formulate a life plan while you are alone and negate the stress by constantly polishing up your strategy for self assertion and escape from your situation. Write it down and monitor it and decide at the end of each day what you liked about your self that day and what you would like to change and how you think you could do this or how you could cope, and make it your personal private project. You can perform near miracles by simple determination and good planning.

    Try and do well at school so you can leave and become independent. That can be a goal. Try and obtain a skill so you can develop a talent. No matter what you do excel at it and set standards for yourself so you can be your own tutor and your own mistress. You can achieve a lot of things this way. I did. I couldn't achieve everything I wanted and I didn't escape some things but I am still strategizing and learning new things and looking ahead. That way bad times and the bad feelings that go with them can be conquered more easily and don't last as long as they do when you're feeling helpless and depressed.

    There are quite a few here who have had these experiences and you'll be able to share with them and get help and support even though it might come from far away. Some day you will feel that surge of personal power as your insecurities and stress melt away in the flame of your growing ability to conquer the forces that retard your spirit and you'll fly at some stage. It's just a question of going out onto the battle field of your particular situation and doing your best to conquer whatever brings you down, or get it under control.

    Remember that if people think you are vulnerable they often treat you badly because a lot of people are closet bullies. The first lesson in self-assertion is to make yourself a nice tough mask and show them this face whenever they try to beat you down. They will see a new you and step back. You don't have to let them see the soft underbelly of you, that is not for the world, the world will trample all over that.

    You need armour and you'll get that my making it yourself because only you know what kind you need and you'll wear it for those who stress you and when you are in situations when just being you won't win the day. It is a kind of warrior craft but no one will know it's happening, just you, and you will see your battle trophies multiplying as you win each contest and obtain the confidence to go further and reconquer more of the territory of the self that people steal from you when you are in a situation where you have little personal power.


  7. #47
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    AW: Your relationship with your parents

    I have really a good relationship with my parents and that since a long time, though we often haven't the same opinion and views on certain things.
    They sometimes get displeased, when I have arguments with my brother.
    And they expect me to exercise my duties, which I always do.

  8. #48
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    Re: Your relationship with your parents

    My Dad died a few years ago, we had a slightly distant relationship.
    My Mum and I get on well, on the whole. She's very opinionated and could start an argument in an empty room, she's much harder than I am and her views can be quite extreme, for a long time I thought she might be the grand wizard in the KKK.

  9. #49
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    Re: Your relationship with your parents

    My Mama died July of 2003. She was such a quiet and graceful lady, all of her life. You couldn't get into an argument with her even if you tried...... My Papa was a very strict disciplinarian, yet fair, full of wisdom. I remember well all the discussions/debates we would have as I was growing up.
    We continue to have many of these debates, even today, over the phone. He calls me every week, now that phone calls are so reasonable. Sometimes we talk for several hours......and the debates continue........
    Georgia
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided; and that is the lamp of experience. I know of no way of judging the future but by the past.
    Patrick Henry

  10. #50
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    Re: Your relationship with your parents

    Excellent relationship with my parents. Always have.

    Although, I was quite the rebel when young. I wonder where they got the patience to deal with me.

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