Money. Moolah. Cash. Bootie. I hate it and here's why [American Money]:

  • I work way too many hours at a job I despise to earn it - leaving me little time to spend it.
  • It doesn't breed with other money to produce offspring - even when rubbed together vigorously.
  • No matter how I try to manufacture it, it just doesn't look right.
  • Too much of it is required for everything.
  • Everyone wants it and there's just never enough even though there appears to be a lot of it floating around.
  • I have extraordinary spending talent - not securing talent. Is one skill not enough?
  • The IRS takes large chunks of my money and gives it to people I don't like and don't even know!
  • Pennies ??
  • It must be filthy having been in all those hands and Odin only knows where else.
  • I have no clue as to how the stock market operates. A 'mutal fund' sounds more like a humantiarian aid mission than an investment scheme. 'Diversifying' sounds like something way too PC for my taste.
  • It turns otherwise mediocre people into greedy bastards.
  • If I never, ever had to balance my checkbook or pay a bill again, I'd be supremely happy and full of joy and merriment.
  • I know no one who has ever purchased anything from a telemarketer.
  • It has pictures of unattractive men on it.
  • That is an ugly shade of green. One would think that something so important would be more pleasing to behold.
  • The eye-pyramid on the reverse freaks me out.
  • I can't take it with me when I croak so why save it?