Found this on some Serbian-American werbsite, pretty funny

1) Your mom uses lard instead of Crisco to fry eggs.

2) Your family owns a coffee grinder..and a nut grinder

3) You have 17 consonants and 2 vowels in your last name

4) Duck tape is your father's only tool next to using a kitchen knife as a screwdriver .

5) Baba chased you around the house with "Kamilica" (Camomile or form of Balkan tea) to drink and Vicks to shove up your nose when you had a cold.

6) Your 15 year old sister can out-drink any Amerikanac (American)

7) You get a C in history, but can recite every Serbian king, in order,from Czar Dusan

8) Your dad never told you about the birds and the bees

9) At your wedding you know only about a third of the people there.

10) At your wedding you have a minimum of 350 guests.

11) At your wedding the first song is always "danas majka zeni svoga sina". ("Today the mother is getting her son married")

12) You have at least 3 slave ("slava" i fiest of the patron saint) to attend to on the same day.

13) All slave have the same cuisine "supa, sarma, Pecenje". (soup, sarma, and roast meat).

14) All weddings have the same cuisine "supa, sarma, Pecenje".

15) All christenings have the cuisine "supa, sarma, Pecenje".

16) A Serb girl tries to look 23 but she's actually 15.

17) At least one of your friends name is "Dragan".

18) You are somehow related to every 1 in 3 Serb girls/boys.

19) You don't actually attend University, just hang out there and play "tablic" (one of the card games).

20) You can derive "Steve" from "Nenad".

21) You can derive "David" from "Zeljko".

22) You can derive "Mark" from "Mirko".

23) Your father calls you a "dummy" for not knowing how to do something he can't either.

24) Your father expects you to study or "hit da books" every waking hour that he's home, and he expects nothing less than an "A".

26) A cold shiver runs down your spine when your mom threatens by using the word "tata" (father) in a sentence.

27) Your Deda (grandfather) cuts the grass with knee high black socks and slippers.

28) You work out six days a week, but somehow you dad whoops your @#%$ in like five seconds after he comes home from a thirteen hour day from the bakery/factory/food business.

29) You drive a nicer car than your parents.

30) There is a 120-gallon barrel of wine and Cabbage in your garage.

31) There is more alcohol in your liquor cabinet than at the local bar.

32) You hear birds chirping and see the sun rise every time you come home from the bar.

33) You are 18 years old but your parents still call you by your brother's name.

34) You can hear your dad snoring from across the street.

35) Your dad carries around enough money to buy a car.

36) Your Baba (grandmother) and Deda (grandfather) live in your basement.

37) Your parents never go on vacations because they are afraid to leave you home alone for a week.

38) Your baba (grandmother) swears more than you do.

39) Your dad claims not to be a racist but insists the whole world should speak Serbian.

40) You are prohibited from speaking English in you own home.

41) Before school every morning your parents had to look after the sheep, milk the cows, gather all hay, feed the animals etc..

42) Both your parents had to walk to school barefoot in the snow, 5km uphill both ways. And over rocks.

43) Your parents can't pronounce "Thursday".

44) You have the biggest sandwiches at school, always consisting of "prsut Or salami".

45) All the hot girls/guys are your cousins.

46) Your dad starts to swear obsessively whenever he watches CNN.

47) Your parents have gone on vacation ONCE and it was to Yugo.

48) There's at least one relative that your family refuses to talk to.

49) Being someone's KUM (godfather) really has no meaning.

50) Your dad thinks he knows everything about the world today.

51) You had to break off a tree branch from your back yard, so your dad could whoop your @#%$ with it.

52) When your walls are crowded with icons of saints

53) Your last name ends with a IC (pronounced CH)

54) When you are reading this list and you're cracking up

55) When you make jokes based on your own tragedy

56) Your church has a fully loaded bar

57) One of your relatives is a construction worker / painter

58) The main menu for lunch is cabbage and beans.

59) You don't want to have or do any business with Serbs.

60) The minute Church services are finished you run to the bar in the Church Hall and get plastered

61) Your dad pronounced the silent b in Climb, plumber, comb etc?

62) Your parents have a shot of slivovitz( Balkan brandy) for breakfast

63) You started to drink at the age of 12

64) You don't talk to your Kumovi (godfathers)

65) It takes over 8 years to finish college

66) If you are female, you first name ends in "A"

67) You have a Serbian cross, flag, or icon, hanging from your rear view mirror

68) You think everything is a conspiracy

69) If you are a girl and not married by the age of 20 you are an old maid

70) You base your whole life on the fortune in your coffee cup

71) You eat canned peppers and ajvar (salad made of chopped eggplant and peppers) with every meal

72) You have a Kosovka Devojka (Kosovo maiden ) painting hanging on your wall

73) You have a pair of wool slippers that your baba (grandmother) knit

74) Your mom tells you not to sit on concrete or your ovaries are going to freeze

75) There's a slab of fat in your fridge called "slanina"

76) Slivovitz is used to cure all illnesses, celebrate all occasions and as a massage lotion

77) When you celebrate Christmas and Easter and New Year two weeks after everyone else

78) At your birthdays everyone is singing "Happy brzday tu u"

79) When the head of a pig with an apple in its mouth is looked upon as a delicacy

80) When your baba (grandmother) will not accept the fact that you're not hungry

81) You teach all your American friends Serbian cuss words

82) When your friends can't believe you got drunk at a church function

83) When you had/have a pet named Mishko.

84) Your parents pronounce three, thirteen and thirty three as tri, tirteen, and tirty tree.

85) You get the mumps and your baba ties slabs of bacon (slanina) around your ears to cure the mumps.

86) You have a freezer that is loaded with meat products, especially pork.

87) When your parents constantly say you'll end up a nobody if you don't graduate from University

88) When you have to reassure your Mother that her cooking is the best

89) When you're an adult and still recieve Easter chocolate

90) Whenever you went by Baba's (grandmother's) house, she offered you supa, sarma, pecenje (roast meat) or kolace (plural of 'kolac' -cake) and got mad if you didn't eat EVERYTHING.

91) Your American friends will never understand why you spend so much time at church events and you are the farthest thing from holy that there is

92) Whenever you kiss somebody, you kiss them 3 times.

93) When your grandma says that farting is healthy.

94) Your tata has a smoke house and smokes all the slanina/prsut/pecenje for the surrounding serb colony

95) The first conversation you had as a baby used the words "jebi ga" (

96) You use slivovitz down the carburetor to start your 69 Dodge Charger on a cold winter morning

97) You know you are a Serb when you live in Detroit and are proud of it!

98) You know you are a Serb when you can hear your parents talking, and you are across the street.

99) "No one has ever pronounced your last name right, and every kid on the block has a nickname for it"

100) You know you're Serbian when you don't work and you go shell out $300 easy on the weekend

101) You know you're Serbian, when you are a fan of whatever basketball team Vlade Divac is on

102) You know you're Serbian when your mom has a whole pharmacy in the medicine cabinet.

103) When your mum calls you "stoka" (animal)

104) When you are 6'5" 250lbs. (look like WWF wrestler) and your parents think you are too skinny.

105) You know at least 20 Tool and Die Makers or Machinists or you are one yourself.

106) You go to church 2 times a year... Bozic (Christmas) and Uskrs (Easter).

107) When you say you're hungry, and then go buy pack of smokes

108) When your baba chases you down the street with her 'cipela' (shoe)...

109) When your baba rather walk five miles to the grocery store instead of getting a ride.

110) When you have a chicken running around in your back yard...

111) When your tata is talking to you and every other word he calls you is 'budala' (fool)...

112) When your mama gives you vodka when your teething...

113) When your parents call relatives in Yugo they shout to be heard

114) Your parents believe that being left handed is the sign of the devil

115) When as a young boy/girl you have your head shaved to promote a thick head of healthy hair

116) As soon as you tell a neighbour you're Serb they ask you for some slivovitz

117) When you believe the most famous people in the world are Serbs who changed their name

118) When on your birthday everyone pulls your ears

119) When your parents call you "sine" (son) no matter if your a boy or a girl.

120) When your baba and deda believe that you got sick because your parents didn't feed you properly

121) When you write on your history exam that Nikola Tesla is the father of electricity not Thomas Edison and you teacher fails you.

122) You get scared when your dad sneezes

123) When your dad likes to sit home and play the harmonika

124) When your parents will only go to the doctor if they are passed out on the floor or have severed a limb

125) When you bang the table and break glasses while singing when you're drunk.

126) When beans are served and your dad tells you that you should call it "gospodin pasulj" ('mister Bean')

127) When you step on poop and your mom tells you that it's a sign of luck or money

128) Every one of your relatives from the old country that immigrates to the the US is an engineer

129) A week after 'Slava', 'Bozic', and Easter you are still eating 'sarma'

130) When returning from Yugo, everyone at the airport is staring at you becuase your suitcase smells of slivovitz

131) After a few years of working there is a pattern on your leave of absence, you are sick every year on the 7th, 14th, and 20th of January

132) You listen to 'gusle' (ancient Balkan one stringed instrument) and you actually LIKE it

133) When you're sitting in your room and listening to "narodnjake" (folk music singers).

134) Your parents buy peppers by the bushels