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Thread: (Humor) Causes of Death of Philosophers

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    Senior Member Jack's Avatar
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    Post (Humor) Causes of Death of Philosophers

    Just thought I'd add something funny I found on the internet.

    Causes of death of philosophers

    Abelard: Nun
    Adorno: Bad frankfurter
    Albert: Undermind
    Anaxagoras: Burned up
    Anaximander: Infinite causes
    Anaximenes: Evaporated
    Anscombe: By intention
    Anselm: Disease than which no deadlier can be conceived
    Aquinas: First causes
    Aristotle: Excessive moderation
    Armstrong: Indisposed
    Arrow: Voted out
    Audi: Durch Technik
    Augustine: Hippo
    Austin: Executionary act
    Ayer: Unverifiable
    Bacon, F: Hit by idol in market place
    Bacon, J: De trope
    Barwise: Bad situation
    Belnap: Became irrelevant
    Benacerraf: Number was up
    Bennett: Taking the consequences
    Bentham: Fell off his stilts
    Bergson: Elan mortel
    Berkeley: Divine neglect
    Blackburn: Quasi-life
    Block: Trouble with bodily function
    Bradley: Absolutely everything
    Bratman: As planned
    Bruce Le Catt: Curiosity
    Burge: Something like arthritis
    Buridan: Asinine starvation
    Burke: Sublimated
    Calvin: Boredom
    Campbell, K: Epiphenomenal causes
    Camus: The plague
    Cantor: Set aside
    Carnap: Left the material mode
    Cartwright, Nancy: Incapacitated
    Cartwright, Richard: Satisfied a negative existential
    Cassirer: Symbolic causes
    Chisholm: Lost his foundations
    Chomsky: Degenerative transformation
    Church: Recursive causes
    Churchland(s): Eliminated
    Coady: No telling
    Cohen, G: Missed the marks
    Collingwood: Entered history
    Comte: Went negative
    Copernicus: Revolution
    Cournot: Became too improbable
    Craig, E: Work of God
    Crane: Lost his representations
    Cresswell: Outmoded
    Dancy: No particular reason
    Danto: Artfully transfigured
    Darwin: Unfit
    Davidson: Radically different schematosis
    Dawkins: Suicidal genes
    Democritus: Atomised
    Dennett: Lost consciousness
    Derrida: Deconstructed
    Descartes: Stopped thinking
    Devitt: Naturalised causes
    Devlin: Fell off Clapham omnibus
    Dewey: Became part of the environment
    Dingler: Unsuccessful experiments
    Diodorus: Mastered by the argument
    Diogenes: Exposure
    Dretske: No indications
    Dreyfus: Computerised
    Dudman: Conditional causes
    Dummett: Unverifiable causes
    Duns Scotus: Being univocal to an accident
    Dupre: Disorder
    Durkheim: Suicide
    Dworkin: Lost his rights
    Earman: Inextendible world-line
    Einstein: Diced with God
    Eliot: Eructation of unhealthy souls
    Emmet: Passage of nature
    Empedocles: Cosmic cycle accident
    Epicurus: Nothing to worry about
    Feigl: Nomological dangler
    Feyerabend: Everything went
    Fichte: Non-ego takeover
    Field: Weight of numbers
    Fine: Shook up
    Flew: Met the great equaliser
    Fodor: Fell off Granny's knee
    Follesdal: Noematheosis
    Foot: Ungrounded
    Foucault: Disempowered
    Frankfurt: Revised his will
    Frege: Fell under a concept
    Freud: Slipped
    Gadamer: Lost horizons
    Galen: Lost his sense of humours
    Galileo: Stopped moving
    Gasset, Ortego y: Circumstancial
    Geach: Reference failure
    Gentzen: Cut turned septic
    Gettier: Fatal counter-example
    Gewirth: Dialectical necessity
    Glymour: Tripped over his own boostraps
    Godel: Became incomplete
    Goldman: Unknown internal causes
    Goodman: Gruesome bleen infection
    Gorgias: Annihilated
    Grice: Non-natural
    Grosseteste: Encephalitis
    Grunbaum: Psyched out
    Gupta: Became unstable
    Habermas: A discourse condition
    Hare: Wrong prescription
    Haugeland: Entered excluded zone
    Heal: Dissimulation
    Hegel: Gave up the Geist
    Heidegger: Timeless causes
    Heisenberg: Uncertain causes
    Hempel: Explained away
    Heraclitus: Fell in the same river twice
    Hilbert: Informal causes
    Hinckfuss: Fit of morality
    Hintikka: Lost his normal forms
    Hobbes: Nasty causes
    Hofstadter: Holistic trap
    Honderich: Misunderstood causes
    Horwich: Deflated
    Hume: Unknown causes
    Husserl: Phenomenally bad luck
    Jackson: Saw red
    James, W: The will to leave
    Jaspers: Essence exhausted
    Jeffrey: Indecision
    Johnson, S: Kicked the bucket
    Kamp: Ran out of time
    Kant: Found the means to his own end
    Kaplan: This and that
    Katz: Decomposed
    Keynes: Entered the long run
    Kierkegaard: Sick to death
    Kim: Supervened on nothing
    Kitcher: Vaulting
    Korsgaard: Kant tell
    Koslow: Structural failure
    Kripke: Went rigid
    Kuhn: Paradigm lost
    Kyburg: Low frequency
    Lacan: Lack
    Lakatos: Degenerated
    La Mettrie: Machination
    Langer: Ran out of new keys
    Laplace: Prior arrangement
    Leibniz: Monadnucleosis
    Lesniewski: De-parted
    Levi: Contracted corpus
    Levina: Merged with others
    Levi-Strauss: Cooked
    Lewis, C I: No more givens
    Lewis, D: Joined his counterparts
    Lipton: Unexplained
    Locke: No idea
    Lovejoy: Being unchained
    Lloyd: loss of bodily humours
    Lucretius: Bumped off
    Luther: Diet of worms
    Lyotard: Post post-modernism
    Mach: Unsensational causes
    Machiavelli: Intriguing causes
    MacIntyre: After-virtue infection
    Mackie: An inus condition
    Maimonides: Lost his guide
    Malcolm: Undreamed of causes
    Malebranche: Occasional causes
    Marcuse: Became multi-dimensional
    Martin, C B: Lockejaw
    Marx: Material causes
    Matravers: Art attack
    Maxwell: Demonic possession
    McCall: Branch fell off
    McCulloch: Went out of his head
    McDowell: Left the space of reasons
    McGinn: Case closed
    McTaggart: Untimely causes
    Meinong: Lack of subsistence
    Mellor: By chance
    Merleau-Ponty: Perceptions blacked out
    Mill: Depsychologised
    Millikan: Devolved
    Montague: Disfunction
    Moore: By his own hand, obviously
    Nagel, Ernest: Reduction
    Nagel, Tom: Going nowhere
    Nerlich: Spaced out
    Neurath: Lost at sea
    Newcomb: Too boxed
    Newton: Kicked the bucket
    Nietzsche: Overpowered himself
    Noonan: Unidentified assailant
    Nozick: Lost track
    O'Shaughnessy: Lost the will
    Ockham: Accident with razor
    Oddie: Flew too close to the truth
    Paley: By design
    Papineau: Supernaturalised
    Paracelsus: Stabbed
    Parfit: Mistaken identity
    Parmenides: No two ways
    Pascal: The wagers of sin
    Passmore: 100 years of philosophy
    Pavlov: Reflexed
    Peacocke: Discontent
    Peirce: Abducted
    Penrose: Became computable
    Perry: Lost himself
    Pettit: Stopped responding
    Pherecydes: Lice
    Piaget: Undeveloped causes
    Place: Brained
    Plantinga: Of necessity
    Plato: Caved in
    Pollock: Defeated
    Popper: Falsified
    Price: Backward causes
    Priest: Became more dead than alive
    Prior: Past it
    Protagoras: Eaten by fish
    Putnam: Fell in the twater
    Pyrrho: Scepticemia
    Pythagoras: Squared on the hypotenuse
    Quine: Semantic ascent
    Rand, Ayn: Objectified ego
    Ramsey: Made redundant
    Rawls: Unveiled
    Redhead: Robust causes
    Reichenbach: Common causes
    Rescher: Incoherence
    Rorty: No foundations
    Rousseau: Contract job
    Russell: Vicious circle
    Ryle: Gave up the ghost
    Salmon: Fishy causal process
    Sartre: Nothing doing
    Saussure: Parole revoked
    Scheler: Became objectively valued
    Schlesinger: Became hypertensed
    Schlick: Collapsed protocol
    Schopenhauer: Involuntary causes
    Searle: Chinese food
    Sellars: Slipped on slope
    Sextus Empiricus: Doubtful causes
    Sheffer: Stroke
    Shoemaker: Loss of identity
    Simons: Departed
    Singer: Liberated
    Skinner, B F: Bad behaviour
    Slote: Had enough
    Smart: Dematerialised
    Smiley: Multiple conclusions
    Smith, A: Invisible hand
    Smith, P: Unanalysed
    Socrates: Consumption
    Sorabji: Four causes
    Sperber: Became irrelevant
    Spinoza: Substance abuse
    Stalnaker: Inquiry pending
    Strawson: Unidentified
    Sylvan: Lost in jungle
    Tanner: Gotterdammerung
    Tarski: 'Death'
    Taylor: Renounced agency
    Taylor, Tre: Excessive Orgasmic Bliss
    Thales: Drowned
    Tuomela: Group decision
    Turing: Solved the halting problem
    Unger: Never knew
    Van Fraassen: Empirical inadequacy
    Vico: Recycled
    Von Wright: By obligation
    Walton: Make-believe
    Warburton: Went back to basics
    Weber: Overwork
    Wheeler: Manifold causes
    Whitehead: Procession
    Wiggins: Substantial change
    Williams: Bored with immortality
    Winch: Witchcraft
    Wisdom: Other minds
    Wittgenstein: Became the late Wittgenstein
    Wolf: Sanctified
    Wright: Minimal causes
    Zeno: Run over by a tortoise
    All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream at night, in the dusky recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams, with open eyes, to make it possible.

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    Senior Member Demigorgona's Avatar
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    THat's really funny. What site did you get it off of?

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    Senior Member Jack's Avatar
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    I was searching for stuff on Martin Heidegger and I found that here: http://www.planetpdf.com/ebooks/eboo...ist-14569.html
    All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream at night, in the dusky recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams, with open eyes, to make it possible.

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    You left out the man himself!
    Spengler - Declined.
    Why are there beings at all, & why not rather nothing?
    [Leibniz/Heidegger]

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    Senior Member Jack's Avatar
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    ROFL. That was good

    Yockey - Imperialised.
    All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream at night, in the dusky recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams, with open eyes, to make it possible.

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    hahaha, this is so dorky, but I love it:
    Pythagoras: Squared on the hypotenuse

    :giggle
    I envision a world where people dawning long white robes and elaborate headdresses run rampant down the streets, waving their arms in the air while screaming "we've gone mad, we've gone mad", like defrocked monks breaking the silence of ages past.

    Spoonblade: Sharper than a knife and twice as deadly.

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    Senior Member Jack's Avatar
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    Dostoyevsky: Doubled.
    All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream at night, in the dusky recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams, with open eyes, to make it possible.

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