View Poll Results: what is the ideal age between men and women?

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  • women should be older

    35 14.83%
  • men should be 0-5 years older

    121 51.27%
  • men should be 5-10 years older

    74 31.36%
  • men should be 10 years older or more

    35 14.83%
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Thread: Why Women Should Marry Young and Why They Should Marry Mature Men

  1. #151
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    Re: Why women should marry young and why they should marry mature men

    I have male friends (all in their early 20s) and i hate when they speak and say things like -oh you know those girls i met were all slots? aren't they as "slots" as them going from woman to woman?
    Yes, they are sluts.


    ok, when women date many guys or make up with a different guy evryday at a club is a slutty but when a men does it womanizer??
    Males that sleep around are just as slutty as females who sleep around. Males usually get all defensive when it's said so, and deny that men can be sluts, because they'd like to believe that they can express their sexuality in any way they please without any consequences. It's pathetic really.

    I met this guy when I was out for a few drinks recently, he sat there bragging to me about how many women he'd slept with (over 80 apparently ) and about how women just flock to him because he's such a stud. He said, "well if a chick is a loose tart, I'm not going to say no. But I can't respect chicks like that. I prefer ladies...." I just laughed at him, and said "that's rich. You admit being a completely immoral slut yourself, yet you only like women who are respectable?? Get real mate, the only sort of woman that would want a slut like you is desperate whore." He looked stunned. Couldn't believe that someone would call him a slut. Then he tried to deny that men could be tarts and sluts...


    There is a problem, that's exactly what I'm saying; but I'm saying that it probably doesn't need to exist. So I'm not disagreeing that a marriage today between a 35 year old man and a 20 year could have problems; I'm just making the point that it's caused by problems in society in general.
    I think that largely the problems are developmentally inherent. Caused by the emotional, mental and maybe even spiritual natural developmental indiscrepancies between the two.


    This isn't just theory, it's based on "real life" history. In the past (and in other cultures today) marriages like this were quite common, had no problems and certainly weren't regarded as being at all odd. It's only modern Western Society that sees things differently.
    Rubbish. It is very ambitious of you Rhydderch, stating that there were no problems, but I've read from quite a few different sources over the years that this just isn't true. I don't think young girls have ever, or would ever, welcome the idea of being married to old men. Maybe they were commonly forced into such "arrangements" in the past, but that certainly doesn't make it right or ideal.


    I agree with the underlying principle that slutty behaviour is wrong whether women or men do it. However be careful that you don't fall in the trap of justifying wrong behaviour with the wrong behaviour of another person.
    I agree totally.



    It's a known fact that women are earlier ‘ripe’ than men (begin and end puberty earlier). So I guess it varies.
    The difference in development is only a couple of years though. And by the early-mid 20's this difference is no more. Actually, mentally, males and females reach equal levels of development at around the ages of 12 or 13. It's only in physical development that males still lag behind females until early adulthood. I think with regards to emotional development, males always lag behind.



    Please, for the reputation of this forum, scrap the last choice in the poll...
    Yeah, I think that option was supposed to be light-hearted and a bit of a joke... but still, to many people, paedophilia isn't a joke.



    And how come there are 4 votes and yet only three people appeared to have voted?
    If you vote when you're not logged in, the vote still comes up, but without your username.

  2. #152
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    Re: Why women should marry young and why they should marry mature men

    Generalizations happens mostly because you're sit in front of a computer and dont moved from your place to another were you and the other with whom you're talking in the internet can talk face to face. If talking face to face, each will speak about "where I live", instead of "it is" that I have noted in some foruns. This ever happened with me too.

  3. #153
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    Re: Why women should marry young and why they should marry mature men

    I think women and men should marry as soon as they have their first love and can have kids. You never know when you are going to die.

    Screwing around will just ruin your reputation and might kill you if a mistake is made.

    Life can be great if you have the will power to make serrious commitments.

  4. #154
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    Grin Re: Why women should marry young and why they should marry mature men

    Relationships don't work that way, you meet someone you like, and decide that marriage is the next step. If you pick the wrong partner and things don't work out, well tough!

    The old saying old cock, young hen!

    Rod Stewart might be getting on, but at least he breeds with white women, unlike some others who i could mention.

    Derek.

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    Re: Why women should marry young and why they should marry mature men

    Quote Originally Posted by fms panzerfaust View Post
    Generalizations happens mostly because you're sit in front of a computer and dont moved from your place to another were you and the other with whom you're talking in the internet can talk face to face.
    That's how weak generalizations happen.
    Generalizations are actually a tool for simplification. Take a statement like:
    "Water boils at 100 degrees". That is a generalization but a pretty rigid one (unless you change the pressure).

    "Man younger then 25 are often jerks" is also a generalization, but a less rigid one.

    I think the reason for man less maturing relates to changes in the family culture and social culture in general. In the old days the father taught his sons and when they grew up they might become apprentices of an "uncle"... They would learn a trade, but they also would learn certain values and ways of conduct.

    Lot's of it can be learnt via experiences (or experiments), but this might be often hard and bitter.

    Girls seem to learn in a different way - often in a more social way (from other girls and women). There 'maturing' phase (in a non-biological sense) has also been extended over time. But in to a lesser extent then it is the case with men.

    So I perfectly understand the point Haldis and some others were making. One should also think about the influence on the children, especially when they are young - Let's 30 as a benchmark for the father. What emotional influential will this have on a child or youngster?!

    Quote Originally Posted by fms panzerfaust View Post
    If talking face to face, each will speak about "where I live", instead of "it is" that I have noted in some foruns. This ever happened with me too.
    This also might be a habit of speech.
    "And God proclaims as a first principle to the rulers, and above all else, that there is nothing which they should so anxiously guard, or of which they are to be such good guardians, as of the purity of the race. They should observe what elements mingle in their offspring;..." Plato Politeia

  6. #156
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    Re: Why women should marry young and why they should marry mature men

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridie View Post
    Rubbish. It is very ambitious of you Rhydderch, stating that there were no problems, but I've read from quite a few different sources over the years that this just isn't true.
    Do you mean modern sources commenting on the past? If so then I probably wouldn't take much notice of it.

    I don't think young girls have ever, or would ever, welcome the idea of being married to old men.
    What do you mean by "old men"? I wouldn't call 35 "old"; if you mean 50 then I'd imagine young girls wouldn't welcome the thought of that; then again, people often don't welcome the thought of a particular "variety" of spouse but then end up meeting someone like that who they like.

    For example I doubt that many young girls would welcome the idea of marrying an "ugly" man, but plenty of them end up doing it

    Maybe they were commonly forced into such "arrangements" in the past, but that certainly doesn't make it right or ideal.
    No, they weren't forced (well, no more than with other marriages). However, I'm not claiming it's ideal, as in preferable to a smaller age gap, but that I think a 15 or 20 year gap is not too big.

    In fact I'd say ideally, a man would probably be better off marrying before 35.

  7. #157
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    Re: Why women should marry young and why they should marry mature men

    Do you mean modern sources commenting on the past? If so then I probably wouldn't take much notice of it.
    No. I'm talking about modern books written from the view point of modern women living in developing nations where this sort of thing is still commonplace...


    What do you mean by "old men"? I wouldn't call 35 "old";
    To your average 20 year old, 35 is old.


    No, they weren't forced (well, no more than with other marriages).
    They were often forced by social pressures.


    In fact I'd say ideally, a man would probably be better off marrying before 35.
    Yes. It's now being uncovered more and more that older men who father children are more likely to produce genetically deficient babies... just like older mothers are. And when older men impregnate women, statistically speaking, the likelihood of the pregnancy ending in miscarriage increases too.
    Last edited by Bridie; Tuesday, January 16th, 2007 at 04:21 AM. Reason: typo

  8. #158
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    Re: Why women should marry young and why they should marry mature men

    And anyway, I'd kind of like to see my grandchildren while there's still a bit of strength and life left in me.

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    Re: Why women should marry young and why they should marry mature men

    No. I'm talking about modern books written from the view point of modern women living in developing nations where this sort of thing is still commonplace...
    And presumably they're aimed at a Western audience. One also comes across books by people from these sorts of countries saying how terrible the "traditional" non-feminist way of life is. I suspect it's the same sort of thing here, but in any case, do you have a link to (or at least the names of) some of these books?

    To your average 20 year old, 35 is old.
    So by "old" you were including 35 year olds?

    They were often forced by social pressures.
    That has happened with all sorts of marriages, younger men or otherwise. And today, the pressure would go the other direction, so if young girls don't like the thought of marrying a 35 year old, that doesn't mean it's an inherent part of their nature. In the modern West, the pressure is to marry within one's own age group; people grow up with that idea.

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    Re: Why women should marry young and why they should marry mature men

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridie View Post
    ... To your average 20 year old, 35 is old....
    I am about this age and I must admit that I'm getting on well with women in their early 20s. Although I haven't ask anyone of them to marry me, yet.

    This brings us to Aristotle who suggested women to be 19 marrying man that are 38.
    Women should marry when they are about eighteen years of age, and men at seven and thirty; then they are in the prime of life, and the decline in the powers of both will coincide.
    http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/ancie...politics1.html

    @Oswiu - I would have like to know my grandfather as well, I'm sure he would have to. But he died with the boots on. Not having much of a pension.
    "And God proclaims as a first principle to the rulers, and above all else, that there is nothing which they should so anxiously guard, or of which they are to be such good guardians, as of the purity of the race. They should observe what elements mingle in their offspring;..." Plato Politeia

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