View Poll Results: what is the ideal age between men and women?

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  • women should be older

    35 14.64%
  • men should be 0-5 years older

    124 51.88%
  • men should be 5-10 years older

    74 30.96%
  • men should be 10 years older or more

    35 14.64%
Multiple Choice Poll.
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Thread: Why Women Should Marry Young and Why They Should Marry Mature Men

  1. #211
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    My male ancestors all got married between 25-35. And some of my maternal ancestors were married and pregnant at 17. This wasn't the Medieval Ages but back at the beginning of the last century.


    Things have not changed much. I'm a student. And I received no attention from women in the long-term relationship or dating realm. Though that doesn't bug me since it makes a lot of sense. The only success I've ever had was prowling around bars and that has only been flings.


    That's the thing I am a student. I can barely sustain my own academic studies, I would be financially ruined if I found out I had a pregnant Wife to deal with. I would have to drop out of school and become a laborer.
    Or I can wait 6 and 10 years, graduate with a couple of degrees and make a high five figure salary as an entry level accountant and lawyer, and raise four high stock children or become like the duggars and raise 15, lol.

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  3. #213
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    Last year we had the following odd constellation: I was 19, my (now ex) girlfriend at the time was 26, my father was 44 and his current partner (not my mother, lol, she's a year older than my father ) was approaching her 32nd birthday. It was curious, because there was less than a year of an age difference between my precedessor with that girl and my father's woman.

    Either way - I spoke about the topic with marrying late to my grandfather today. He told me that perhaps it was wiser if I left my romantic matters beyond my degree for the simple fact that women crave security. Perhaps something rings true in that.

    Ideally - perhaps the man should be 3-7 years older than the woman. He would be more experienced, and thus have a more stable life to offer, and it's perhaps the best basis for having a large family. But when are things really ideal? Many people meet during their degrees or even during "high-school" (to make it understandable for the Americans here ) and there's no such age gap - they make the same experiences together as they move through life, which can perhaps also be a good experience: One that tends to test relationships --- and if they pass that test of adverse times, then they are stronger thereafter.

    Practically - at present such isn't feasible for me. I'm 20 years of age, and if the love of my life approached me tomorrow, she couldn't be much younger than I. Perhaps 17 (3 years younger) would be as far as I would go, if she is mature enough. There was a pretty amazing and rather mature (physically and mentally) lassie last year at near enough 5 years my junior (i.e. she was 14 when I met her) who chased me for awhile --- before she revealed she was 14, I had seriously thought she was 18. That was of course a clear no-no. 14/15 is clearly too young!

    My experiences with women younger than I have at large been absolutely catastrophic --- so for myself, I have long looked 2-3 upwards, i.e. at present that'd be a woman aged 22-23: I finished my school at 16, so I have about two years of a head-start --- by the time I'm finished with all of my degree and safely in work, she's not approached the "I'm 30 and I'm still childless threshold". A bit of a bonus, really.

    For myself, in terms of the woman's mental maturity, I'm always looking towards 2-3 years older at this stage; in terms of actual age I'd prefer a woman 0-3 years younger at this stage. But Hel, love will find me either way --- and I'm sure I'd be thrilled to take up the challenges involved with a relationship, regardless of whether the girl is younger or older. A German-speaking member of this forum is 6 years her husband's senior and had her first child around the 29/30 turn - yet still went on to have 10 children. So it really depends on the situation, etc. pp.
    -In kalte Schatten versunken... /Germaniens Volk erstarrt / Gefroren von Lügen / In denen die Welt verharrt-
    -Die alte Seele trauernd und verlassen / Verblassend in einer erklärbaren Welt / Schwebend in einem Dunst der Wehmut / Ein Schrei der nur unmerklich gellt-
    -Auch ich verspüre Demut / Vor dem alten Geiste der Ahnen / Wird es mir vergönnt sein / Gen Walhalla aufzufahren?-

    (Heimdalls Wacht, In kalte Schatten versunken, stanzas 4-6)

  4. #214
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    Student males aren't reliable for marriage. They're too busy taking care of themselves, how will they take care of their wife and child too? Women students marrying isn't a problem, because the woman's role is to be taken care of, and with the man doing all the necessary work she'll have time for the children too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bärin View Post
    Women students marrying isn't a problem, because the woman's role is to be taken care of, and with the man doing all the necessary work she'll have time for the children too.
    BS. In those formative first three years a child needs a parent around at at most times. A student mother is usually taken off for either the morning or the afternoon for lectures and coursework. The time the course takes out of the man's breadwinning hours is the exact same time it takes out of the woman's hours at home.

    You say that "with the man doing all the necessary work" that she'll have time for the children too: So what do you expect the man to do when you're a student female: That you can get a degree and have all the fun sides with your children whilst he both earns the money AND does the household? Sounds a lot like the feminists' version of "fair share of chores" to me.
    -In kalte Schatten versunken... /Germaniens Volk erstarrt / Gefroren von Lügen / In denen die Welt verharrt-
    -Die alte Seele trauernd und verlassen / Verblassend in einer erklärbaren Welt / Schwebend in einem Dunst der Wehmut / Ein Schrei der nur unmerklich gellt-
    -Auch ich verspüre Demut / Vor dem alten Geiste der Ahnen / Wird es mir vergönnt sein / Gen Walhalla aufzufahren?-

    (Heimdalls Wacht, In kalte Schatten versunken, stanzas 4-6)

  6. #216
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    I think it totally depends on the couple.

    I believe that, generally speaking, a 5 year difference with the male being older is optimal, however if it works otherwise, fine.

    I do find age gaps that are too big to be somewhat aesthetically ridiculous, especially if the female is older.

    I can somewhat digest it more easily when an older guy has a much younger partner, since the role of the male is leading and protective, plus males have a larger reproductive period than women.

    I cringe at the sight of 20 year old gold-diggers, though, dating men that are twice, or even three times their age, for money.

    I also cringe at the sight (and boy, has it become a common sight nowadays) of 30, 35, and even 40+ year old women dating 20 year old boys

    It's even more aesthetically unpleasing a sight than that of a young girl with a dirty old man. Usually those women are unhappily married or divorcées seeking their lost youth and sexual excitement via a relationship with a boy the age of their sons, something that I find utterly futile and irrational, since it's some sort of regression...

    Anyway, in any of those cases, it's none of my business. I'm just thinking aloud. I am also sure I have replied to this thread again but I'm too bored to browse 20 pages to seek my original response.

  7. #217
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sigurd View Post
    BS. In those formative first three years a child needs a parent around at at most times. A student mother is usually taken off for either the morning or the afternoon for lectures and coursework. The time the course takes out of the man's breadwinning hours is the exact same time it takes out of the woman's hours at home.
    To be a student you aren't obligated to attend all courses. If you work or you're pregnant the professors will understand, or you can enroll under a long distance or non-frequence study program. My mother had one of her pregnancies when she was a student and she only attended the examinations. She managed to finish her studies and have children too, and her love, care and attention was never absent. Besides today there are newer options like online study. You can earn your degree while your baby sleeps.

    You say that "with the man doing all the necessary work" that she'll have time for the children too: So what do you expect the man to do when you're a student female: That you can get a degree and have all the fun sides with your children whilst he both earns the money AND does the household? Sounds a lot like the feminists' version of "fair share of chores" to me.
    *I* don't expect that since I gave up my studies and my job since I got pregnant and married because I have a husband who supports me now. By the way, I said nothing about only having fun and the husband having to raise the child and doing the household. Don't jump to conclusions and put false agendas in my mouth.

  8. #218
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sigurd View Post
    BS. In those formative first three years a child needs a parent around at at most times. A student mother is usually taken off for either the morning or the afternoon for lectures and coursework. The time the course takes out of the man's breadwinning hours is the exact same time it takes out of the woman's hours at home.

    You say that "with the man doing all the necessary work" that she'll have time for the children too: So what do you expect the man to do when you're a student female: That you can get a degree and have all the fun sides with your children whilst he both earns the money AND does the household? Sounds a lot like the feminists' version of "fair share of chores" to me.
    Most schoolwork is done at home, so a student would only be gone from the home for 2-3 hours per day, rather than 8+ hours. Also, you won't get kicked out of school if you miss a few classes in the space of a couple months, whereas you will get fired if you miss a few days in the space of a couple months.
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  9. #219
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    Quote Originally Posted by SwordOfTheVistula View Post
    Also, you won't get kicked out of school if you miss a few classes in the space of a couple months
    In the College I went to, you would. Easily, and they were very strict about it (3 missed lessons for Mon-Wed-Fri courses, and 2 missed lessons for Tue-Thu courses, and boom! you're out, and there goes your money and effort).

    I wish policies of many colleges/universities were more lenient towards young mothers as well as working people.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sigurd View Post
    BS. In those formative first three years a child needs a parent around at at most times. A student mother is usually taken off for either the morning or the afternoon for lectures and coursework. The time the course takes out of the man's breadwinning hours is the exact same time it takes out of the woman's hours at home.

    You say that "with the man doing all the necessary work" that she'll have time for the children too: So what do you expect the man to do when you're a student female: That you can get a degree and have all the fun sides with your children whilst he both earns the money AND does the household? Sounds a lot like the feminists' version of "fair share of chores" to me.
    How much experience do you have with work? You're a student, and you have time to be online most of the time. You're here and post here more than Bärin who is a stay at home mom. If all women students had the time to spare you have, it would suffice to take care of their kids.

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