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Thread: Foster Girlfriends: Another Trend We Don't Need

  1. #1
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    Chlodovech's Avatar
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    Foster Girlfriends: Another Trend We Don't Need

    Quote Originally Posted by Chlodovech
    This is just the new normal going by a different name: foster girlfriends. Amazingly, the subject is happy with being a foster girlfriend too and wouldn't have it any other way - and she says she's not ready to settle yet and have children despite being 34. Not sure whether her relationships are of an open nature, but apparently she never wants commitment from a guy, nor does she want to commit just yet herself.

    Another lesson in how to doom yourself, kids. The wall is approaching fast.
    'Men date me then find their wife': Single radio producer, 34, discovers she is a 'foster girlfriend' in relationships - and reveals the signs you might be one too

    • Triple M radio producer Jana Hocking has recently discovered a new dating term
    • A 'foster girlfriend' is a girl who dates men until they find their forever girlfriend
    • The 34-year-old has identified this as being the sequence of her last partners
    • Her inability to commit has made her would-be boyfriend's find someone else




    A single Australian radio producer has discovered that she was a 'foster girlfriend' for many of her previous lovers, as she explains the new dating trend and how to identify it.

    Triple M producer Jana Hocking, 34, came across the term last week when she was social media stalking her ex-boyfriends, only to find they are all now married with a child on the way.

    She diagnosed herself as a 'foster girlfriend', who according to Urban Dictionary is a woman who dates men until they find their wife and who doesn't want to be with a man long-term.

    Jana, who once claimed she had been single for the past seven years, was 'frantic' about the possibility of being a 'foster girlfriend' and began to look at the 'evidence'.

    'It could be argued that I am terrible at texting. I don't have much time for dating if I'm snowed under with work. I can't stand it when a guy stays over and then wants to spend the rest of the day with me,' she told news.com.au.

    'I enjoy the cute cuddly part of the relationship minus the responsibilities.'

    Jana also realised that she isn't concerned about having a child just yet and has a 'long list' of life accomplishments she'd like to achieve before settling down.

    According to research done by Purdue University in Indiana those that are ready to find a lifelong partner will start engaging in an 'active pursuit', something that Jana is not yet doing.

    'It could be paying more attention to your appearance, updating your wardrobe, spending money on dates, or actively seeking out a partner,' she said of the study.

    Those that are less interested in finding The One are usually more focused on their career, lifestyle or position in life.

    While Jana doesn't feel rushed to make a serious commitment she does note there are two distinct types of daters: Those that are actively dating to find their one true love and those who are dating for fun.

    And at the moment she's happily in the second category.

    Source: Daily Mail
    [28-08, 00:40] Huginn ok Muninn: if only sigurd were here

  2. #2
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    Foster gfs is a logical consequence of folks dating only for fun, no strings attached. Not everybody wants to settle down with the folks they date, plus plenty of dudes like to keep their options open & have plan B chicks or simply chicks that occupy their time - & needs - until they find smb they wanna settle down with. That's where forster gfs come in. Plus it ain't only dudes who have commitment issues, there's chicks who don't want conventional type of relationships too.

    Dudes do it too, btw.

    I Just Realized I'm a 'Foster Boyfriend' and Now My Whole Dating History Makes a Lot More Sense

    Ways to tell smb is a foster gf/bf:

    1. You spend most of your energy focusing on your career or crossing things off your bucket list.
    People who spend the majority of their time and energy advancing in their careers, seeking out new experiences, or pursuing a certain lifestyle are going to have very little time available for a serious relationship.
    Erin’s worked overnight (7 pm to 7 am) 4–5 days a week as a nurse in our area’s top trauma ER. She was often overworked and exhausted due to her schedule and the demands of her job.

    2. You communicate sporadically with the people you’re interested in.
    Erin really liked Jeremy, her most recent ex, but she was terrible about reaching out to him. She’d let his text messages or phone calls go unanswered for sometimes days.
    She always had her busy schedule to blame, but it doesn’t take much time to respond to someone with a, “Hey, I’m really busy, but it’s nice to hear from you. I’ll try to check in when I have some free time!”

    3. You don’t particularly enjoy the “romantic” part of romantic relationships.
    Erin didn’t care for public or private displays of affection. She wasn’t going to cuddle with a dude on the couch while watching a movie, and she certainly wasn’t going to sleep next to someone after they had sex. Even though she and Jeremy had dated for months, she only let him stay the night once.
    “What do you do afterward?” I asked her.
    “If it seems like he’s trying to hang out or whatever, I tell him I have a busy day, and then I get out of bed, get dressed, and throw him his clothes.”
    “Wow,” I said.
    “I need sleep,” she said nonchalantly.

    4. You enjoy spending a lot of time by yourself.
    Erin never minded being alone. This isn’t a bad thing at all. We should all enjoy being alone, but she preferred to be alone. The ultimate goal when you’re looking for “The One” is companionship, so that’s probably not going to jibe with what you like.
    If you’d rather be solo, it’s unlikely you’re going to make much of an effort to spend time with someone you’re already seeing or pursue/accept dates.

    5. You go on low-effort dates.
    Erin was busy, so she needed dates to be easy and low-key, but she always took it a step further. She rarely dressed up for these dates, one time actually going in a pair of sweatpants.
    She also always chose dates that were easy in other ways. Choosing places that were very near her home or work or types of dates that required very little commitment (a coffee or a drink instead of dinner).

    6. You never bring up long-term plans.
    Erin avoided all conversations that involved the future. She called it “staying in the present,” but she often alienated her partners. Jeremy was insistent with her about where she saw herself in five to ten years and if she wanted to one day get married and have kids, but after three months, she still didn’t have any better of an answer than, “I don’t know.”
    Are You a Foster Boyfriend or Girlfriend? 6 Ways to Tell

  3. #3
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    Chlodovech's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gefjon
    Not everybody wants to settle down with the folks they date, plus plenty of dudes like to keep their options open & have plan B chicks or simply chicks that occupy their time - & needs - until they find smb they wanna settle down with. That's where forster gfs come in.
    The Catechismus Catholicae Ecclesiae mentions side chicks zero times.

    It's just all around decadent. Let's just call it what it is: fwb. F-buddies. And it's hard to distinguish modern relationships from foster "romance" as long as you're not sharing a home, at least in the facts, even if a couple is more ambitious than that.

    Due to biological differences (I don't make the rules) guys can play the field a bit easier, more and longer - they also have no other option than to be a "foster boyfriend" to a degree, when they're 24 today and in a relationship, having to focus on a career if they ever want to attract a woman, and it takes more time to get established as a guy than it used to take. The foster concept works less for men, IMHO. A 20 year old woman who puts her cards right or strictly dates 35+ year olds won't be a foster girlfriend for very long - not a minor difference. That's not ideal, but 35+ year old men are completely onboard with this. Jana Hocking on the other hand will be drinking loads and loads of wine in the near future. At least one industry will be spared from the destructive effect of the Coronavirus.
    [28-08, 00:40] Huginn ok Muninn: if only sigurd were here

  4. #4
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    Both sides playing this game make my stomach turn. Good grief, how many lies do sociopaths need?

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