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Thread: "Slutty Women Don’t End Up Single And Alone, Actually"

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    "Slutty Women Don’t End Up Single And Alone, Actually"

    I am a respectable married lady. And before I was a respectable married lady, I was a bit of a slut. The use of the word ‘slut’ is a controversial one. Obviously we don’t support the use of language which judges a woman who has sex. It’s a ridiculous thing to do. But in this context, the word slut feels important. Like a kind of reclaiming. After decades of being called a slut, being told not to be a slut, being warned of the dangers of being a slut, we’re finally taking the word back. In a essay published in the Wall Street Journal last week, a male academic went on at quite some length about how women giving sex up to men too easily was the reason that they were ending up unmarried. Deep breath. Where to start?

    In the first instance, language that implies men want sex and women ‘give it up’ to them is unfair to both genders. Women have sexual desire. Men have emotional needs. It’s short sighted and misinformed to rely on the ancient, out dated trope. But let’s go further than that. Let’s look at whether this bloke’s theory holds any water. Because from where I’m sitting it’s practically the Titanic of theories. I’m married. I got engaged at 24 and married earlier this year at 26. Before I met my husband, I was a bit of a slut. Not as much of a slut as I wish I had been, retrospectively, but certainly not any kind of nun. I had flings, I had one night stands, I had sex. I went to fetish clubs and sex parties and took naked pictures and posted them online. I also specialised in a lovely Catholic school girl tradition of doing ‘everything but’ because apparently giving blow jobs doesn’t matter because it doesn’t add to the total number of people you’ve slept with. I know, I know. I don’t make the rules, I was just stupid enough to abide by them.

    Anyway, when I met my husband I really liked him. I wanted him to be my boyfriend and there were several other women in my friendship group who felt similarly. So I had to make it happen. What did I do? I got slutty. Really, really slutty. I wore the most obscene dress you can imagine (it was made of black spandex and power mesh and it showed about an acre of cleavage.) I flirted, I implied very strongly that I was filthy in bed, and you know what? I had sex. I do not know where the traditional advice that having sex with a man will make him disappear came from, but I can only assume that it singularly applies to people who are extremely bad at sex. In what world would doing something really fun and really gratifying with someone make you never want to see them again? I have no doubt in my mind that the reason my now husband became my then boyfriend was because I decided, on the 23rd of December 2013, that I was going to screw his brains out. Now while I would never suggest that the only way to hook a man is to have sex with him, I am saying that it’s how they did it in the Tudor court, and it’s really, really effective. This anti sex narrative which teaches women that they’ll die alone if they have sex is complete bollocks. It’s being spun by a puritanical agenda which wants you to live a boring, sexless life. Any man who isn’t going to call you back, or who is going to lose respect for you, just because he has already seen you naked is not someone you should be entering in to a relationship with. Decent guys, the kind who might be marriage material, do not write women off because they have had sex with them.

    Any bloke who thinks you’re less of a candidate for a long-term relationship because *both* of you did the nasty, is a knob. So actually, having sex is the perfect filter. You get to have sex (a good thing) and you get an easy litmus test for whether or not the guy you’re boning is a decent person. What’s not to like? So please, take my advice. Slutty girls get married too. And when we do get married we’re better in bed thanks to all the practice, and we’re comfortable in the knowledge that we’re settling down having had our fun and tried a good number of the flavours on the menu. We just don’t end up married to the kind of men who make a pseudo-moralistic judgement about a woman just because she happens to enjoy having sex.
    https://metro.co.uk/2017/10/05/slutt...ually-6978986/

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    Okay, that was mildly revolting. Not to mention delusional. I will be roasting Becky (Rebecca Reid).

    Quote Originally Posted by Becky
    Any bloke who thinks you’re less of a candidate for a long-term relationship because *both* of you did the nasty, is a knob.
    No dear, such behaviour disgusts most men for the same reason the Coronavirus challenge (shooting a selfie while licking random doorknobs in public buildings) disgusts them - because there's no knowing how many times and by whom a doorknob was touched. You are that doorknob.

    Quote Originally Posted by Becky
    Anyway, when I met my husband I really liked him. I wanted him to be my boyfriend and there were several other women in my friendship group who felt similarly.
    I'd love to see a picture of your husband. What are the chances of him not being a statistical fluke? What kind of guy marries a feminist journalist who writes for Metro anyway? Soyboys & male feminists, that's whom. You were probably his only chance at love, or rather, not being alone. No genuinely self-respecting man ever got seriously involved with a loose goose, not knowingly at least. Any guy with half a brain would be alarmed if he finds out he's #11 already.

    Quote Originally Posted by Becky
    What did I do? I got slutty. Really, really slutty. I wore the most obscene dress you can imagine (it was made of black spandex and power mesh and it showed about an acre of cleavage.) I flirted, I implied very strongly that I was filthy in bed, and you know what? I had sex.
    Becky, no offence, but you're no Stacy. Either he had no say in it and you practically raped him or he must've been super thirsty. The poor sod undoubtedly wondered: "is the chance of being crushed and dying tonight any worse than a lifetime of being ignored by women on Instagram?" Everyone makes mistakes and he made a poor life decision.

    Quote Originally Posted by Becky
    You get to have sex (a good thing) and you get an easy litmus test for whether or not the guy you’re boning is a decent person.
    Interesting how your ilk these days defines "decent men" or "real men" as men who have no problem with a woman's sexual history; from posting sordid selfies on the internet to having a past with dozens of sexual partners, future boyfriends and husbands must be cool with all of it. It's because millennial women instinctively know that possessing a dubious past is something that will catch up with them one day, since the internet never forgets - they know what will happen when slutty selfies of a future female CEO or president or (prime) minister re-emerge on the internet. It's egotistical for self-described sloots to wreck the world purely so their feelings/relationships/careers will never be hurt. That's the reason why "the culture and men need to be changed and reformed", in this regard.

    But men aren't ever magically going to ignore it or like it when women have a history of extensive sexual activity. Because harlots don't make good mothers or wives/partners by definition. You can't figure it out because that's more than you're willing to admit about yourself, Becky - and hence your anger is directed at men with a standard of their own.

    If you weren't damaged, you wouldn't write subversive columns like this for Metro - but because you do, you get to play at having a job.

    Quote Originally Posted by Becky
    We just don’t end up married to the kind of men who make a pseudo-moralistic judgement about a woman just because she happens to enjoy having sex.
    ...happens to enjoy sex with multiple men, you mean. Your husband must be so proud. Such a broadminded individual he is too. Maybe you should bring up cuckoldry one of these days and see how he reacts. Not that he has much choice...

    Quote Originally Posted by Becky
    Any man who isn’t going to call you back, or who is going to lose respect for you, just because he has already seen you naked is not someone you should be entering in to a relationship with. Decent guys, the kind who might be marriage material, do not write women off because they have had sex with them. This anti sex narrative which teaches women that they’ll die alone if they have sex is complete bollocks.
    What happens is: when a woman decides her partying days are over and perhaps is also bored with her job, she all of a sudden starts looking for a provider type - as the sinews of serious relationships are infinite money and not infinite love. But by that time the best men are already taken and the remaining ones will prefer women who are younger and with a lower body count. So a 35 year old single woman will most likely end up with a guy in his forties and fifties, yet half decent men of that age likely already have a child of their own and don't necessarily want another one. So then there's that to consider.

    Provided a woman is willing to compromise she doesn't die alone, just not with the guy she wanted or could've had if she had not postphoned marrying a guy for 20 years straight. In this case it would also have to be someone who's going to be fine with a woman's sexual past - and no guy is okay with that in their heart of hearts, not unless they're wretches themselves.

    Quote Originally Posted by Becky
    After decades of being called a slut, being told not to be a slut, being warned of the dangers of being a slut, we’re finally taking the word back.
    See you at the slut march then.
    “When a nation forgets her skill in war, when her religion becomes a mockery, when the whole nation becomes a nation of money-grabbers, then the wild tribes, the barbarians drive in.“ – Robert Howard

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