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Thread: The Shallow Men Who Refuse To Date Women Over Size 8 Because They See Them As Lazy, Not Good For My Image And Sex Hungry

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    A little bit of extra fat is good for birthing children. But there’s a line between that and being obese.

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    Quote Originally Posted by oreiar View Post
    Shapewear and push-up bras are not much different from men putting socks in their trousers. If you lie, don't take offense when you get caught.
    Ah, the old "deception" game. Have to disagree here though, it's not exactly the same thing. There is no function or benefit to putting socks in your trousers, aside from making your bulge appear bigger. You don't need socks in your trousers. In fact, I bet you it would feel uncomfortable to constantly walk around with socks stuffed between your legs. Women on the other hand often wear push-up bras for support. It can be uncomfortable, not to mention exposing to go braless, especially if you have large breasts and push-up bras generally provide more support, security and comfort than traditional bras. The extra padding in push-ups adds a bit of comfort for the wearer. Hence many women prefer push-up bras and these days most bras have a certain push-up effect and/or extra padding. And even if they don't, they still have a lifting effect. Since most women wear bras, it's likely that if they get their picture taken, they'll be wearing one underneath their clothes. But I guess that's deception too, right? So how shall we solve this problem? Force women to submit braless pictures? Ban bras altogether?

    Shapewear, contrary to popular belief, isn't only worn by women who are overweight. Many slim women wear it too. It comes in all sizes, including XS and also has many benefits aside from making the body look slimmer. There are plenty of slim women who wear shapewear because it adds support and avoids all those wrinkles and creases, especially under dresses. There are also medical benefits to wearing contoured garments. They can help with certain conditions like diarrhea, spine or joint problems, they make it easier to sit up straight or stand up and provide posture support. Compression clothing have many benefits during your workout, they stimulate the thermal activity of the underlying skin, which will stimulate perspiration and increase strength. It's no wonder you see so many women in leggings and yoga pants. Actually, foundation undergarments have been worn traditionally by women (corset, corselette, bodice, pantyhose). So shall we ban all those, to avoid that men on dating sites feel deceived? You might as well ban those traditional Dirndl dresses and the Landhausmode while you're at it, because those corsets might deceive men into believing their breasts are perkier than in reality. That is of course, a big problem...

    People on dating sites are no different from the ones on social media, or even on Skadi. They will post their best photos, taken from the best angles, at the best or special times in their lifetimes. They're not going to post the most unflattering ones, and why would they? Same goes for their character. They're only going to list their qualities, but not their flaws. Isn't that also deception? It's human nature to want to look your best, to emphasize your qualities. It's as old as history itself. Look at those portraits of kings and rulers, like Henry the VIII. or Napoleon. You see them exhibiting a strong masculine pose, riding a horse into battle, wearing military uniforms or imposing outfits and crowns. They wanted posterity to remember them in their prime years, when they had the most success and influence. Typical court art was meant to flatter, it was common for painters to make them look more handsome than they actually were. Same for women. They wore corsets and petticoats to make their waists look slimmer, bustle gowns and buttock pads for a lifting effect on their buttocks, blush to redden their cheeks, geranium and poppy petals to stain their lips, burnt matchsticks to darken their lashes, lead-based formulas or even bleeding themselves to achieve pale skin. Make-up itself is much older than most people think. The history of cosmetics spans at least 7.000 years and is present in almost every society on earth. You know who else wore blond, flashy makeup aside from prostitutes? Rich, aristocratic women. Although facelifts were performed as early as the 1900s, there were older techniques to mimic a face-lift, such as face taping or wearing a tight, high ponytail. Some hairstyles can make the face or forehead appear longer or shorter, rounder or more defined. Some hairstyles can add or take away years from a person's appearance. How about we ban all those, because you know, people on dating sites might be deceived?

    Modern people actually have it much easier than their ancestors, who in some cases didn't even get to see what their partners looked like underneath their clothing before the actual wedding night. Same goes for many aspects of their personality. They didn't date in the modern sense nor live together before marriage. And they didn't have as much variety and choice when it came to choosing a spouse. Tough luck if their families chose for them or it was socio-political and they only saw a portrait or met their partner on their wedding day. Yet it's modern people have become the most shallow and picky, due to the influence of Hollywood, MTV, pop culture, pornography... Trends and preferences for breast implants, rib removals, lip fillers and other cosmetic surgeries, spray tans, bottle blondes, pubic hair shaving (in both males and females), large penises, "innies" vs. "outies" have all been dictated by this influence. Yet porn actors and celebrities are the most enhanced people you will find. Producers choose performers that are already above average and take it further by airbrushing them, giving them stylists for hair and makeup, and then work the lighting and camera angles to make them look as good as possible. Even so, there are plenty who would be downrated if people saw them without any makeup on. Maybe it's the paradox of too much choice and illusion. Celebrities and porn get shoved in people's face constantly (movies, shows, ads, popups, their sexuality used to sell all sorts of products. And sex sells illusions. Just buy this car and good looking women will be at your feet, etc. Then they feel surprised when they meet average people who don't look like that.

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    You make great posts, Nachtengel. I wish I could write like you.

    I used to be a bottle blonde. I was a real blonde in childhood. And my belly button is an "innie".

    And I absolutely need to wear bras. Most bras my size are "minimizers" that make me look smaller, not padded to make me larger.

    When I was 12 my bra strap broke on me in gym class, that's why I always wear two bras when I have to exercise.

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    It's a losing game for fat chicks. They're sorta like black chicks - nobody wants to date them, not even their own (i.e. not even the fat & ugly dudes). They all wanna date slender, pretty chicks. Most folks aim for partners that are a lil above their league, but the difference ain't so drastic if you're at least average looking. If you're fat and ugly tho, then you're gonna need a lot of luck.

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    @Nachtengel:

    You're being a bit hysterical. I'm not talking about banning anything. I'm simply pointing out that women consciously use means of enhancing their looks, and - by extension - their sexual market value.

    I don't buy that a significant number of women who use push-up bras or shapewear do it for comfort or health reasons. If they have large breasts, pushing them further up would only cause even more strain on their back and neck. And yeah, I do know even slender girls use shapewear. An ex of mine had this type of jeans that had shapewear sown into them. And although she looked good enough without it, they did make an impression.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nachtengel
    People on dating sites are no different from the ones on social media, or even on Skadi. They will post their best photos, taken from the best angles, at the best or special times in their lifetimes. They're not going to post the most unflattering ones, and why would they? Same goes for their character. They're only going to list their qualities, but not their flaws. Isn't that also deception? It's human nature to want to look your best, to emphasize your qualities.
    There's a difference between only mentioning one's good qualities, and given the impression of having qualities one actually doesn't have.

    And I'm not talking about simply sharing the most flattering pictures of oneself. Sure, everyone does that. But some women are so good at manipulating their looks on camera, with the help of filters and extensive make-up schemes, that they hardly would be recognizable if you only had seen those pictures of them, and then suddenly ran into each other coming straight out of bed. That's too much, in my opinion, and classifies as deception.

    Some examples:









    Men don't really have such tricks up their sleeves. The only things that comes close, are rental Ferraris, socks in the pants, and extra thick shoe soles. And I'm pretty sure most women would consider those things as "cheating".
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    Wow! Those are some shocking examples. The women in makeup don't look anything like how they do without make up. Maybe they have that special airbrushing makeup I've seen advertised on television.

    When I was on eHarmony I used a picture with no makeup. Not interested in Tinder.

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    Quote Originally Posted by oreiar View Post
    I don't buy that a significant number of women who use push-up bras or shapewear do it for comfort or health reasons. If they have large breasts, pushing them further up would only cause even more strain on their back and neck.
    It depends on the brand, type and size, but I'm large chested and prefer push-up bras too. I'm married and don't wear them because I want to attract male attention. They just feel more comfortable and secure to me. Like Nachtengel mentioned, large breasts are more likely to sag and can be uncomfortable to rush or run around in without a bra. Some women even find it uncomfortable to sleep without a bra. As long as they're the right size and type, I feel no strain on my neck or back. Unfortunately, many women don't wear the right bra size. Wearing a smaller or tighter size squishes the breasts and causes pain and discomfort. Some bras have uncomfortable underwire or thin straps which can dig into shoulders. The padding in push-up bras is more comfortable. Women who struggle with back pain should invest in bras with a high back support, like racerback, x-shape or front closure bras, or bras with wide, thick straps and support bands. Another feature that helps to minimize back pain are separated cups. A tall center gore helps distribute the weight evenly across the chest rather than pushing it towards the front. There are push-up bras with these features too. Bra styles with no support structure, like bralettes, can many times make back pain worse if you struggle with back problems due to larger breasts. Not all push-up bras are designed to give you cleavage.

    As for shapewear, there is medical shapewear (what Nachtengel referred to as compression garments). They are mainly used for medical therapy and sports.

    Some examples:







    These before and after pictures are usually purposely taken to show a radical transformation. On the left, most of these women look like they just got out of bed. They don't seem to have cleansed or moisturized their faces and their hair is pulled back or unstyled.

    Even without the use of makeup, there is still a noticeable difference after someone has completed their morning routine. Something as subtle as exfoliating and hydrating the skin and lips, curling the lashes, combing the eyebrows or using some gel to keep them tidy, applying some vaseline, face cream or sunscreen and styling the hair can do wonders.








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    I have racerback bras and recently purchased more of them. I also have front closure bras, and ones with wide straps, and side support stays. I also bought sport bras.

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    Quote Originally Posted by oreiar View Post
    Men don't really have such tricks up their sleeves. The only things that comes close, are rental Ferraris, socks in the pants, and extra thick shoe soles. And I'm pretty sure most women would consider those things as "cheating".
    Course they do. There's plenty of dudes who paint their faces these days. Metrosexuals, emos, fags, not to mention male models & celebs. Then there's Photoshop & FaceApp. Pretty popular with male models, celebs & incels.

















    Now I wonder where all those chicks get the idea that dudes must look like Chad

    Turns out, a quarter of online daters use Photoshop to edit their profile pics, singles under 24 being the worst offenders. And online dating sites are full of dudes. Many chicks just don't assume dudes doctor their pics but in reality many of them are just as insecure as chicks are. A popular thing to do is to add muscles & abs. Here's some fine specimens.















    Also plenty of male catfish. But those go beyond photoshopping their own photos and use photos of other dudes (or even chicks instead). If the profile photo looks like a model, it's probably a catfish.

    Anyways, there's an app called MakeApp, which can remove makeup from photos for just 99 cents.

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    Quote Originally Posted by oreiar View Post
    I'd also say there's a far cry between 'using a bit of make-up' to 'completely rearranging one's face'. Anyway, women are free to do it. But don't be too surprised if the guy loses interest once the quarter-inch of make-up comes off.
    Sure there is, although natural looking makeup often involves using more than just a bit of makeup. It also depends on the product. Using even a little bit of primer or concealer can do wonders for dark circles or puffy eyes. Many women use these products even when they go light on the makeup, especially if they're past a certain age.

    Kids can be mean shits for whatever reason. I'm sorry for the girls that went through this kind of ordeal, but it's not something specifically unique for people who are overweight. I was bullied as a kid as well, and it had absolutely nothing to do with my weight.
    I did not say that only those who are overweight have to deal with bullying and it is not just kids who suffer from discrimination. There are plenty of mature women who have to deal with body shaming and superficial comments from strangers, oftentimes women who aren't grossly overweight or obese or unattractive. Even fashion bloggers, models and celebrities have been subjected to fat shaming.

    Most men have no idea what 'Size 8' means.
    And yet some are quick to comment and judge them as "fat chicks".

    Well, that's exactly what I mean. Shapewear and push-up bras are not much different from men putting socks in their trousers.
    Refer to Nachtengel's post. Women don't only wear those things for the sake of men, but for many other reasons including fashion and aesthetics, health, professional or simply for their own self-esteem. Some of them have been part of women's wardrobe for centuries. Of course society's idea of beauty has affected what many women perceive they should look like. But perhaps if men did not constantly feed those stereotypes and actually rewarded natural beauty, more women would begin to feel comfortable in their own skin, without resorting to products like makeup. It's easy to say natural beauty is the best but it is dishonest and hypocritical when at the same time you look down on women's appearance without makeup. Men on dating sites actually prefer enhanced photos of women as opposed to the unedited ones, even if it means there is a risk the woman might not look like the pictures.

    I also very much doubt that the average woman cares about the size of a man's genitals as much as some men care about a few extra pounds. 85% of women are perfectly fine with the size of their's partner's manhood and don't find it a decisive factor when it comes to relationships. Another study showed that women like men who are closer to the average than muscular with a six pack and huge biceps. Same when it comes to height. Some men who are under 6 feet feel insecure but most women look at the bigger picture.

    If you lie, don't take offense when you get caught.
    Are these curvy women wearing vertical stripes lying?



    What about this curvy woman, who is wearing a dark outfit and high-waisted pants?



    What about this woman, who is wearing a long, flowy dress?



    Or this woman, who is wearing a bold colored, vertical striped, palazzo jumpsuit?



    Different styles of clothing can flatter (or unflatter) someone's appearance, emphasize certain features. It doesn't only apply to curvy women. Some clothing can make short girls appear taller (or viceversa). Fashionistas usually advice to dress according to body type. For example, rectangle shaped women can wear A-line skirts to give their silhouette more definition. Different styles and colors of clothing also have the potential to emphasize certain facial features.

    This is the same woman. Is she lying in the first or second picture?



    Here she is wearing the same outfit, but styled differently. In which instance is she being deceitful?



    Which photo should she post, if she had to make a profile on dating site, the left or the right one?



    The medical definition seems to be anyone with a BMI of 30 over over. Going by body fat percentage, I'd say it starts around 35%.

    Refer to Norman Pride's post. The woman with 35% body fat looks overweight, but not obese.

    'Plump' and 'voluptuous' seems more fitting. But they're kind of bordering to being a bit fat. Doesn't have to be anything wrong with that, though.
    Plump and voluptuous don't carry the same negative connotations fat does. Plump is slightly overweight, but in a pleasant way. Voluptuous or curvaceous imply (sexual) attractiveness, aesthetic pleasantness. Calling a woman fat is implying she is undesirable or even ugly.

    If someone get comments about their appearance (which aren't meant as compliments) every single day (or on a regular basis), the people uttering it are obviously just out to 'get them'. If their weight wasn't the issue, it would be something else.
    Possible, but these comments don't necessarily need to come from the same person. Plenty of women get body shamed in random instances. At some point, these will add up and have an effect on their mental health or self-esteem.

    This fashion blogger for example was body shamed by someone she never even met in person.





    The Flawless Response This Woman Had To A Dude Who Told Her She Needed To Lose Weight

    This blogger was body shamed by a former date:

    "I'm not going to bull***t you... I f***ing adore you Michelle and I think you're the prettiest looking girl I've ever met. But my mind gets turned on my someone slimmer," the man, known only as Simon and aged in his 40s, writes.

    "...So whilst I am hugely turned on by your mind, your face, your personality (and God...I really, really am), I can't say the same about your figure. So I can sit there and flirt and have the most incredibly fun evening, but I have this awful feeling that when we got undressed my body would let me down. I don't want that to happen baby. I don't want to be lying there next to you, and you asking me why I'm not hard.

    "...We could be amazing friends, we could flirt and joke and adore each other and.... f*** me... I would marry you like a shot if you were a slip of a girl," he concludes.

    "Please try and forgive me. I adore you."
    My nightmare Tinder date exposed an underlying culture of body shaming

    Or this woman:





    These women didn't even fit the stereotype of fat, but were rather in the voluptuous category.

    Sure, there can be underlying issues which makes it very hard, but it is actually physically possible, by natural means, in contrast to gaining height.
    Sure, many things are physically possible but they don't come as easily to everybody. It's very easy to say "lose weight" when you yourself have never struggled with any weight issues. There are plenty of thin people who have unhealthy diets and eat whatever they want - often even junk food - because they can afford to. They lack any discipline and procrastinate in their lives but they are quick to judge others. In fact, most people who body shame others fall in this category: they never themselves had to struggle with any weight-related issues.

    There are also gender specific differences. Men generally lose weight quicker than women do. Men, thanks to their body composition, have more muscle and a higher metabolic rate than women, while women have a higher amount of fat. The fat is also distributed differently. Men typically have more weight in their midsection, known as visceral fat, which surrounds the internal organs. When they lose visceral fat, it improves their metabolic rate, helping them to burn more calories. Women, on the other hand, typically have more subcutaneous fat, which is fat around their thighs, rear and hips, which is important for childbearing. The body will try to hang on to some of this fat, as it considers it essential for reproduction. When people lose subcutaneous fat, it also doesn't improve their metabolic risk factors.

    Anyway, has it ever occurred to you that some curvy women are happy with the way they look, and may not want to lose weight in the first place? Just because you like skinny models doesn't mean that every girl should aspire to look like one (not to mention that more often than not, those models look the way they look because of malnutrition/excessive dieting, liposuction or even drug use).

    Or has it occurred to you that some curvy women have already lost weight or are on the path of losing weight? Just because a woman has a few extra pounds it does not mean that she stuffs herself with junk food and biscuits and is a couch potato. But maybe, just maybe, her goal is to be healthy rather than underweight.

    Isn't that the whole point behind this thread? Overweight or curvy women feeling they deserve the same amount of attention (or sexual market value) as less overweight and curvy women. Value is a human being and sexual market value isn't the same thing.
    The thread is about a certain demographic of shallow men who won't date women over a certain size. How do you know that the preferences of these men represent everybody else's? Like I said, nobody forces you to date someone you don't like, but don't project those preferences on everyone else. There are plenty of men who like, or even prefer curvy women. For example:

    Men Are Totally Hardwired by Evolution to Prefer Curvy Women, Study Finds

    Voluptuousness used to be considered a desirable trait throughout different periods in history. So who are you to say that curvy women don't deserve the same appreciation as everybody else?

    It is shallow to ascribe someone's value based on a few extra pounds of weight, especially when they have a ton of other attributes that make them valuable and even attractive. The reaction of the men who sent those messages to the women they body shamed tells all: it doesn't matter how intelligent, how kind, how passionate, loyal or loving they are, as long as they have those extra pounds, all those other attributes become worthless.

    Body shaming goes further than just having a preference for thin women.

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