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Thread: The Shallow Men Who Refuse To Date Women Over Size 8 Because They See Them As Lazy, Not Good For My Image And Sex Hungry

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    Quote Originally Posted by oreiar View Post
    Sure there is. That what anorexia is for.
    I'd be careful with making such jokes if I were you. There are women who died from anorexia, as a result of wanting to fit unrealistic beauty standards. Anorexia nervosa is a mental illness, though it can begin with excessive dieting and obsessing about being thin. Women should be loved and accepted as they are. If they don't happen to fit your definition of attractiveness or size requirements, then simply don't date them. Nobody forces you to. No need to demean them by calling them fat or ugly.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mother Earth View Post
    I'd be careful with making such jokes if I were you. There are women who died from anorexia, as a result of wanting to fit unrealistic beauty standards. Anorexia nervosa is a mental illness, though it can begin with excessive dieting and obsessing about being thin. Women should be loved and accepted as they are. If they don't happen to fit your definition of attractiveness or size requirements, then simply don't date them. Nobody forces you to. No need to demean them by calling them fat or ugly.
    It was indeed a joke. And people die from all sorts of stuff all the time. I won't let that spoil my fun.

    I have to doubt anorexia being caused by "unrealistic beauty standards", though. Anorexia isn't a beauty standard anywhere in the World, at any point in history. If anorexic people can't see that they're already much thinner than the icons they're trying to emulate, it's the fault of body-dysmorphia, not the glorification of models who actually are healthy.

    As I said, I find a wide variety of female body types attractive. So don't worry about it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by oreiar View Post
    I still think that looks attractive and feminine. Wouldn't hurt to put on a few pounds more, but definitely not something I find off-putting.
    She is pretty but I think that she is too thin in those pictures, she looks anorexic.



    Her pictures were removed by some magazines after they started popping up on pro-ana and thinspiration sites. Others edited them to make her appear less thin than she was. The unedited photo is the left one. Her ribcage is protruding.



    She eventually gained a little weight.









    Karlie Kloss: I lost modelling jobs when I gained weight

    Also: She can't win! Slender model Karlie Kloss reveals she was labeled 'too fat' AND 'too thin' by critical casting agents on the SAME DAY

    Kate Upton, a model with a BMI of 20 (she has been named as the sexiest woman in the world by Maxim):


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    Quote Originally Posted by oreiar View Post
    I have to doubt anorexia being caused by "unrealistic beauty standards", though. Anorexia isn't a beauty standard anywhere in the World, at any point in history. If anorexic people can't see that they're already much thinner than the icons they're trying to emulate, it's the fault of body-dysmorphia, not the glorification of models who actually are healthy.
    Of course nobody is going to flat out say that anorexia is a beauty standard, as that would trigger an exorbitant amount of lawsuits and ethics claims, however many models and celebrities who are promoted by women's beauty and fashion magazines are in fact anorexic or severely malnourished/underweight. Many young women who are easily impressionable by such magazines regard them as beauty ideals. There is also the airbrushing factor which makes celebrities look thinner, more symmetrical or closer to perfection than they are in reality. Extra skin, wrinkles, etc. are habitually removed from photos. Anorexia can have complex causes however exposure to thin models is often a trigger or a factor in maintaining it. Certain women are more predisposed to eating disorders than others, either via genetics or other factors, such as perfectionism. If these women are frequently exposed to pictures of skinny models and concepts like women over a certain size being fat and undesirable, they will begin to feel bad about their bodies and try to fix it through excessive dieting or exercise, which will then turn into an eating disorder. Imagine being constantly told that you are undesirable or unworthy, then having the same concept reiterated by others. It's bound to have some consequences and mess up your self esteem sooner or later. At some point, you might even begin to believe it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gefjon View Post
    If dudes wanna discriminate against fat chicks in the dating game, why not? It's dating, not giving them a job or something. If you're not attracted to fat folks, it is what it is. Nothing you can change. Besides, fatsos shouldn't cry about it, there's a niche for them too. There's plenty of feeders and dudes with a taste for "big is beautiful".

    I've been thin, average, and overweight. I was very self-conscious when I was thin. I prefer being average/overweight. I'm overweight now. I still have curves, being large breasted. I don't date though. I don't go out to socialize. I still get asked out by men in my neighborhood when I'm going to the store or running errands but I'm not interested in them because they have all been black. I live in a black neighborhood. One man was white but he was too old for me. He died.

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    I can understand why men may want thinner women to start. Pregnancy can naturally cause weight gain if one does not watch the food intake very closely. Pregnancy changes the female shape overall, and the mom-to-be will most likely lose the"Twiggy" look especially after the 2nd pregnancy. However, there is no excuse to gain excessive weight like 50 lbs during pregnancy that can result in medical risks for both mom and the fetus. I agree about being too thin can directly affect fertility too. Women also like men to be active who don't support a large beer belly. I've seen men who look "pregnant" as well, not joking. Even professional models tend to wait and have children later in the careers as they're quite aware of the ridiculously strict requirements to be "thin" on runways or for photo shoots. The modeling business is all about money and selling clothes, which don't reflect the real shape of women.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mother Earth View Post
    Of course nobody is going to flat out say that anorexia is a beauty standard, as that would trigger an exorbitant amount of lawsuits and ethics claims, however many models and celebrities who are promoted by women's beauty and fashion magazines are in fact anorexic or severely malnourished/underweight.
    I don't have a subscription for any beauty or fashion magazines, but I do see the female body types that are idolized in pop-culture (actresses, music artists, dancers, etc., who are marketed as "hot") and they don't strike me as particularly anorexic.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mother Earth View Post
    Imagine being constantly told that you are undesirable or unworthy, then having the same concept reiterated by others. It's bound to have some consequences and mess up your self esteem sooner or later. At some point, you might even begin to believe it.
    Not something I believe a lot of young women these days experience, unless they're actually obese or dangerously anorexic. Just create a Tinder profile, and they'll likely have hundreds of sex-deprived men begging her to throw them a bone.
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    Quote Originally Posted by oreiar View Post
    Interesting study. It would be valuable to see the results broken down into more detailed groups, though. I think there's a big difference between having a BMI of 18, and having one of 14.

    Two summers ago, I was sick for a long while, and lost a lot of weight during this time. I took some pictures of myself for personal scientific purposes, and looking back on them, I was definitely very skinny, although I felt fully functional. My BMI was around 18.5, and even at that stage, if I were to reach a BMI of 14, I would have to lose another 23% of my total body weight. That's insane. One should be more concerned about staying alive, at that point, rather than getting pregnant.

    Also for reference; an article about a 17 y.o. girl getting hospitalized for orthorexia, due to having a "dangerously low" BMI of 17: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...rthorexia.html

    If you get hospitalized for having a BMI of 17, then it's pretty obvious that people with a BMI of 14 shouldn't be included in any fertility studies.
    There are women with a BMI of 14 who can surprisingly still walk around. Israeli model Hila Elmalich had a BMI of 7.5 when she died of anorexia. French model Isabelle Caro had a BMI of 9.2 at her thinnest and survived a coma despite doctors not giving her any odds. She got to live 4 more years before she succumbed to the anorexia. Still a BMI of 14 is dangerous and can result in death if left untreated. Luisel Ramos, an Uruguayan model and Ana Carolina Reston, Brazilian, had a BMI of 14.5 at the time of their death. American ballerina Heidi Guenther died with a BMI of 16 from complications caused by anorexia. Some top models (Adriana Lima, Kendall Jenner, Doutzen Kroes, Miranda Kerr) have a BMI of 16-17 for comparison. So even a BMI of 17 can be enough to be hospitalized, it's in the danger zone. You may not immediately drop dead with that BMI but there are risks associated with it. Usually women who suffer from malnutrition develop complications, especially heart problems, which can be deadly. But of course there are also people who are naturally thin, I had a BMI of 18-18.5 as a teenager but I didn't starve myself. Nonetheless I was often advised by doctors that it would be healthy to gain a few kilos, just to be on the safe side. If I had gotten sick and lost weight, it could have been bad, for example.

    Anyway, as an anorexic it's easy to lose weight, and it can happen fast. The problem with anorexics is that they're never happy with their body. It't not just about losing those 5 kilos and you'll be perfect. Because after those 5 kilos are lost, you may want to lose another 5, just to be sure you won't gain them back when you start eating normally again. You obsess with fearing becoming fat that you ultimately associate the smallest amount of food with weight gain. So you don't start eating normally again and the little you eat you don't gain from, because you exercise it out. You continue to starve yourself until either someone stops you, or you drop dead. Orthorexia is similar. You obsess about eating clean and healthy only that you don't. You renounce many essential nutrients that your body needs and replace them with half-assed solutions and powders. It's another form of veganism, the body will suffer.

    Quote Originally Posted by Winterland View Post
    Pregnancy can naturally cause weight gain if one does not watch the food intake very closely. Pregnancy changes the female shape overall, and the mom-to-be will most likely lose the"Twiggy" look especially after the 2nd pregnancy.
    That's true, but also a woman's age can affect her shape. I was skinny before I first got pregnant, however my husband prefers my post-pregnancy figure. He thinks it looks more womanly (wider hips, larger breasts, nothing to complain about from his point of view ). I was a teenager when I first got pregnant. I didn't diet during my pregnancy, but ate for two. I wanted to be sure the baby got all the nutrients. The extra weight I shed after birth. However, after my second pregnancy, which was with twins, it didn't come off as easily as the first time. I still lost most of the excess, but I no longer had my skinny teenager figure. Also the breasts change after breastfeeding repeatedly. I've read that after reaching 30 a woman's metabolism slows down and calories aren't burnt as quickly. But I'm fine with that. After all, it's a testimony that my body held and gave birth to babies. Men who dump their women after childbirth are trash, as are modern women who refuse to get pregnant because they don't want to "ruin" their bodies. And the problem with waiting to have babies later in life is you will lose fertility. It's not natural for a woman in her 30s to have her first child. Our ancestors weren't so shallow and individualistic.

    The modeling business is all about money and selling clothes, which don't reflect the real shape of women.
    What a lot of young women don't get is that models are supposed to look like coat hangers. They're not supposed to be a representation of beauty, their role is to fit and showcase the designs. There's only one standard size, and over the years it's gotten smaller and smaller. Your average women, even the thinner ones wouldn't fit in those clothes. Anyway the point is to showcase the creations, not the models themselves. That's also why models are supposed to look expressionless, devoid of feelings or personality. The ideal model should look more like a live cadaver. Tall, lean, bony, androgynous. It shouldn't fill the clothes because it's not them or their figure that has to stand out, but the designs. Also no coincidence that many of the designers are gay.

    It's unnatural, not to mention unhealthy to be so skinny that your bones show. Most of them have to literally starve themselves to look like that, or fill their stomachs with paper, straw or cotton balls. It's the opposite extreme to obesity and fat acceptance freaks. anyway this hype for extremely thin models is a hippy/modern feature. It was popular in the 60s, during the Twiggy days and second wave of feminism and it's been popular in the modern era (during the 90s the typical was "heroin chic"). Now with the rise of LGBTQ it's somewhat back in fashion. Women who aspire to look androgynous, but you also have the other extreme, with the fat butch lesbian types. In the 80s, there used to be a healthy type of thin on the runways. Probably those models today would be considered "fat". During the supermodel era, models were thin, but not bony. They were athletic and toned, svelte but still had natural curves. They looked more like women than they did like teens or "non-binaries".

    The has been campaigning for changes in the modeling industry, however liberals are known for extremes. The result are fat acceptance freaks and "plus size" models who are really obese. But the normal, average woman doesn't look like that.

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    Three things.

    In the U.S., the definition of slim has changed a little over the years, undoubtedly because of the rise of obesity. Although by slim the Americans don't mean fat now, being somewhat 'flabby' would still mean you get to be categorized as slim. And American women with more than a few extra kilograms are capable of interpreting "curvy" as blobby, a far cry from Rubens' vixens. And feminists tell them they're healthy and beautiful at every size...

    Especially as a thin man, you do look like Laurel and Hardy with an overweight girlfiend or wife. I suppose love can overcome this if she happens to be the mother of your children, but unless you really don't mind or are a chubby chaser, it will hardly ignite the flame of your loins. And fat people/women are indeed associated with being unhealthy and hence they may be viewed as irresponsible slobs.

    @Thoreidar: in the world of women, to be called "fat" is a serious insult never to be forgiven before revenge has been exacted - probably for good reason too - I suspect 'fat' means 'unlovable' in their eyes, Lebensunwertes Leben. I have no difficulty believing that women being bombarded with so-called fascist beauty standards leads them to starve themselves like Mother Earth claims, sadly. Just as much as peer pressure does. Or the knowledge that men indeed mostly go for thinner women . We men have become more demanding too, and perhaps under the influence of p0rn, pop culture and the interwebs, most men will prefer women who can maintain their 16 to 19 year old figure, which is a tall order given what a woman's body will naturally go through. And yet, not going to lie here, what could be more attractive? All gym bunnies on Instagram instinctually know this.
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    Quote Originally Posted by oreiar View Post
    I don't have a subscription for any beauty or fashion magazines, but I do see the female body types that are idolized in pop-culture (actresses, music artists, dancers, etc., who are marketed as "hot") and they don't strike me as particularly anorexic.
    I've read and glossed over hundreds if not thousands of women's magazines. When I was young, they affected my idea of what it meant to be beautiful and desirable, as well as the ideas of countless other girls. One of my girl friends was bullied for having a few extra pounds and she was NOT fat, she just didn't look like a supermodel. It affected her so severely that she at one point attempted overdosing on pills. She didn't feel worthy enough to live. There are countless other similar stories, not just anecdotal but stories that have made it into the media. It is basically everywhere, we are bombarded with the idea that beauty = thinness. Women's clothing stores also reinforce this idea. There are plenty of selections in sizes 0, 2 and 4, but fewer in sizes 12 and 14, and this despite the fact that the average woman is more likely to fit into the second category. Many stores don't even have a plus size section and what gets classified as plus is often just normal or average. Another fact that needs to be taken into consideration is height, size of torso, limbs, bones. A tall woman of normal weight is hardly going to fit into size 0 clothing. Some tall women will typically wear a size large without actually being overweight.

    It is certainly true that nowadays we see a wider variety of body types, thanks to the body positivity movement and pressure from many influential people, some of whom had been models or celebrities themselves and struggled with having their self-esteem stepped on. I remember Dove's campaign for real beauty, for example, which featured many different body shapes and sizes, as well as various ages. Still, it was quite controversial and it was not easy to get there. It had to take countless models, athletes, celebrities struggling with eating disorders and even deaths for designers to change their highly unrealistic standards. In the real world, women run a wide variety of sizes, shapes, heights and the clothes are supposed to fit the body, not the other way around. As others have pointed out, being severely thin is unnatural and unhealthy - and many models look malnourished.

    Not something I believe a lot of young women these days experience, unless they're actually obese or dangerously anorexic. Just create a Tinder profile, and they'll likely have hundreds of sex-deprived men begging her to throw them a bone.
    The average woman is neither obese nor anorexic, but something in between, and there are things one cannot tell from a Tinder profile. Most women are not going to post bikini pics as their profiles. I've known of women who were rejected, mistreated or insulted by their dates due to such imperfections that didn't show in profile photos, oftentimes by men who were far from perfect themselves. Another thing that some men fail to realize is that women's bodies change as they age or go through pregnancy. Not everyone is going to look the same as they did in their 20s. As they age, women produce less hormones, which can lead to weight gain. I know of women who struggle with their weight due to hypothyroidism, for instance. From a medical point of view, it is preferable to have a few extra pounds than to be underweight. Patients who were mildly overweight fared better with pneumonia, burns, stroke, cancer, hypertension, and heart disease. Also, people who were slightly or moderately overweight had a lower risk of dying than people of normal weight. So telling all these women to lose weight and look like models may not be in their best interest after all. Some thin people exercise excessively and don't eat a balanced diet, and there are people in the overweight category who have good diets and are active. More about this here.

    Even online dating trends show a clear discrimination towards curvy women (see Why Men Dont Write to Curvy Women on the Internet). If there is any indication that she has a few extra pounds, men will consider her fat and don't write her, unless they have no other option. Women who are honest about their weight face this type of thing constantly. And the woman in the article is a mere size 10, so not what would normally be called fat. So what should such women do? To avoid being labeled fat, they're left with choices which don't truly represent them (slender, athletic, toned). If they do pick one of those choices and manage to score a date, they'll still face judgment and disappointment when their date expects some supermodel look. So they are damned if they do and damned if they don't. Curvy women are often considered the bottom of the barrel, and passed over to fetishists, seniors or men of color. Then people wonder why they engage in interracial relationships?

    What is even more disappointing is that many of the men who make such judgments are far from flawless themselves. For example, one of the comments to the article reveals:

    My ex was at least 25 pounds overweight but never let me forget if I had gained 5 pounds.
    Men too exaggerate their features on dating sites, you will rarely see someone under 6 feet tall.

    Quote Originally Posted by Chlodovech View Post
    @Thoreidar: in the world of women, to be called "fat" is a serious insult never to be forgiven before revenge has been exacted - probably for good reason too - I suspect 'fat' means 'unlovable' in their eyes, Lebensunwertes Leben.
    Yes, it does. It is one of the worst insults you can throw at a woman, the equivalent of judging your worth as a man according to your height or the size of your genitals.

    We men have become more demanding too, and perhaps under the influence of p0rn, pop culture and the interwebs, most men will prefer women who can maintain their 16 to 19 year old figure, which is a tall order given what a woman's body will naturally go through.
    It can be unreasonable. As Brin mentioned, some changes after a certain age (or childbirth) are difficult to reverse. You may lose some of the weight, but you will hardly look like teenage you. Girls ages 16-19 are in their prime years, however beauty fades. We cannot look like that forever. Personally, I believe character is far more valuable than a person's outer features. And in many cases, there is a large price to pay for looking like your average celebrity or model. Take this ex-model's experience. She was coveted when she was thin, but she had to deal with an eating disorder to look like that. Was it worth the price?

    i was a model a few years ago and put my life at risk with a serious eating disorder. I was wanted, envieddespite my personal hell. I ended up hospitalized and got my gall bladder removed among treatment for the eating disorder. However, in the year since Ive gone from 100 lbs to 145, the way Ive gotten treated is astronomically different. Im intelligent (a nurse with a bachelors degree), sweet, funny, and honest. I was so used to the attention from before.and even my own attractions havent changed much. I dont overlook overweight guys, but I do look a lot at the faces. Anyway.I hate to say Im judged when we all do it too, but it hurts to go out with all these guys one time, after being honest in my profile, and then they just fade-out or never respond to me again. I think its because of my size.and I feel some of eating disordered thoughts coming back. Honestly, Im scaredI was so happy just being myselfbut Im also very lonely, havent been in a serious relationship/long term since I was skinny. Im 25, and want to meet and know someone for a while before marriage/kids. I feel if I dont lose this weight quickly, Ill never find what I want.
    Anyway, while most men prefer a model figure, this category of women are usually picky themselves, and will not settle for mere equals in looks or weight. Women's expectations have also been manipulated through the media and shallow culture. And men too change with age, their value will decrease as well. The same men who rejected women for not being pretty/thin/sexy enough before will sometimes try their luck later, though by that time it's possible that these women have found somebody else and no longer consider those men as potential dates.

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