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Thread: When Women Have Self-Destructive Fetishes

  1. #1
    Senior Member Dani's Avatar
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    When Women Have Self-Destructive Fetishes

    I thought it'd be interesting and useful to have a thread which scientifically discusses the more self-destructive fetishes that some women experience. A few examples can be found in Nancy Friday's book 'My Secret Garden' (which was supposedly based off of interviews & taped recordings of women across the Western world).

    The book can be read here:

    https://archive.org/details/NancyFri...tasies/page/n3

    I only scanned through it but it's very dark and disturbing stuff. Just plain gross, animalistic, and masochistic. I also noticed that the author claimed that men often have equally bizarre fantasies and that male 'dirty jokes' are proof of this (she argues that men are sharing fantasies through jokes). That doesn't add up. The only dirty jokes I know were told by high school boys and all of them were fairly deprecating and silly. As an example, a few boys at my school thought the joke from the sci-fi thriller Predator about a woman whose nether regions are so worn out and cavernous they echo was hilarious. And obviously they didn't want to have sex with women with giant you-know-whats).

    Anyways, let's forget about Friday's rationalizations and move back to the topic at hand. More proof of the self-destructive fetish factor is this bit of Canadian history:





    A best selling erotic book about a woman about having sex with an abusive bear? [*insert eye roll* and people say I'm weird].

    I also want to make it very clear: I am not saying All Women Are Like That^. I am simply going to say that some women are just plain crazy. End of story. And if you don't find a way to curb their tendencies they will obviously have negative social effects (for example, if fantasies about primitive, bestial men aren't unheard of then what happens when primitive people immigrate to your country?).

    As for men...

    Anyone who knows how men work knows they're more visually oriented and this means that, most of the time, they're less prone to these weird domination / submission fantasies. Most of the time it's just a 'I think xyz looks sexy so I want you to wear it' sort of thing. A large portion of intelligent young White men are also naturally very sentimental and genuinely want to have a girlfriend who they can care for. It's basically the male 'comradery instinct' aka friendship instinct applied to a sexual partner.

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    The lion's gate Chlodovech's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dani
    I thought it'd be interesting and useful to have a thread which scientifically discusses the more self-destructive fetishes that some women experience.
    Oscar Wilde's words come to mind: “I am afraid that women appreciate cruelty, downright cruelty, more than anything else. They have wonderfully primitive instincts. We have emancipated them, but they remain slaves looking for their masters, all the same."

    Such urges and fantasies could be easily canalized in a trad relationship. Lots of room for real life domination/submission in such a relationship and in tune with our nature too. But since we aren't allowed to have those anymore, women will seek more extreme outlets for these fantasies and alternatives to "be put in their place". From stints in amature porn to creating social network profiles which contain the words "choke me daddy, please" in the introduction. It all becomes darker and more public then it has to be. Not surprised either that feminists engage in such behaviour themselves, they still try to fill that hole in their soul, maybe more so than anyone else. It's what you can expect from a godless society without even the decency 19th century liberals exhibited.

    I do not think the fantasies themselves are necessarily weird - although some are truly outlandish. Nevertheless, sex without a power dynamic/power play leads to a sexually dysfunctional society, a gender neutral society is to sex what a huge rock lying in the middle of a football field is to football. No-one wants to see someone dressed up as a liberal in their bedroom to spice up their love life, but a Gestapo uniform on the other hand will get a lot of people going. I even read about a Jewish girl who got all hot and bothered when her boyfriend did that, on request. But in a marriage in which women take "the cherish and obey" part of their vows seriously, there's no need to act out elaborate fantasies or daydream about bestiality or forced sex or punishments/rewards from daddy. The Spartans took care of this problem by letting their warriors try to sneak out of their barracks and into their own house to have sex with their own wives at night - this is what got Spartan women and men going and I can see the charm of that. I'm sure it fulfills a whole bunch of needs.
    “Every integral man has inside him, in his heart of hearts, a mystic center around which all else revolves. This mystic whirling lends unity to his thoughts and actions; it helps him find or invent the cosmic harmony. For some this center is love, for others kindness or beauty, others the thirst for knowledge or the longing for gold and power. They examine the relative value of all else and subordinate it to this central passion.” - Nikos Kazantzakis, 'Report to Greco'

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chlodovech View Post
    Oscar Wilde's words come to mind: “I am afraid that women appreciate cruelty, downright cruelty, more than anything else. They have wonderfully primitive instincts. We have emancipated them, but they remain slaves looking for their masters, all the same."
    Gay men tend to throw more biting 'criticism' towards women because they don't feel protective of them.

    I do not think the fantasies themselves are necessarily weird
    There are plenty of fetishes & fantasies that are quirky but not self-destructive. The Spartan thing sounds a bit cliche but harmless. However, if you look at My Secret Garden's chapter list and then read a few of them you'll see that the listed fantasies are in a different category. Most are obviously not going to lead to anything good.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dani View Post
    There are plenty of fetishes & fantasies that are quirky but not self-destructive. The Spartan thing sounds a bit cliche but harmless. However, if you look at My Secret Garden's chapter list and then read a few of them you'll see that the listed fantasies are in a different category. Most are obviously not going to lead to anything good.
    I read through some chapters of the book, and I would have to agree that in general, the themes were quite disgusting. The recurrent fantasies about having sex with donkeys and dogs, gangrape, as well as incest in different constellations, were particularly disheartening. I'm not sure how much one should trust their legitimacy and the level of representativity among women, though. Skimming through the book, I get the feeling that a lot of the stories are written by the same person, evident in lack of variability of only a few explicit four-letter words.

    Nevertheless, the afterword is written by a male psychologist, (((Michael Shepard))), in defense of the the book and its stories:

    My Secret Garden is a compilation of uncensored data on women's most secret sexual thoughts. This is something that has not been done in our time. As a psychiatrist who has listened to such fantasied before, I consider it an honest accounting. It is also a useful book, for it can help other women witness and accept their fantasies and themselves. [...]

    The attacks on My Secret Garden will come from three directions. The most primitive charge will be that the women Ms. Friday interviewed are tortured or abnormal in some way and don't represent the average woman. The second and more sophisticated attack will be the intellectual/psychoanalytic approach, which will attempt to demonstrate why certain fantasies are not "healthy". Lastly there is the attack to be waged by the anti-Eros forces - those who regard such a frank sexual discussion as this work as either pornography or perversity. Both the nature of the lines of attack and the bankruptcy of such charges are themes I would like to explore more fully. [...]

    Charges that Nancy Friday's interviewees are unrepresentative are misstated. One should ask, instead, "Can a resonable woman find fantasies within this book that she can relate to?" And here, I think, the answer must be "Yes". In my role as a therapist/husband/social being/lover, I have heard similar tales told by "ordinary" people. Dr. Seymour Fisher, author of The Female Orgasm, a book based on a more scientific study than Ms. Friday undertook, has found the same predominating themes in the fantasies his respondents reported. Not only that, but he found no correlation between any given fantasy and the life style, education, orgasticity, health or any other life function of his respondents.
    I don't know... If someone fantasizes about being held down and raped by a donkey, I'd think it's safe to say their head is not screwed on right.

    Another recurrent theme in the book, which I find more reliable and trustworthy, is the want of lessened control and personal complicity in the sexual acts that are being fantasized about. A study at Notre Dame and the University of North Texas surveyed 355 undergraduate women about their rape fantasies, and found out that 52 percent of them had fantasies of being forced into sex by a man, 32 percent about being raped by a man, and 24 percent about being forced into sex while incapacitated. 62 percent of all the women had some sort of sexual fantasy involving coercion/force in some manner.

    Now, it's important to remember that there's a big difference between having a fantasy and actually wanting to live out that fantasy. But going by the testimony of psychiatrists working with rape victims, it seems that close to half of female rape victims had an orgasm during the rape. Comparing that to the statistics of how many women manage to reach an orgasm through penetrative sex alone, even with a long-term committed and considerate partner (some studies putting the figure as low as 20 percent), it really makes you wonder.
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    I think it boils down to the fact that women in their youth have way too much control over relationships, and way too much choice. Most are very comfortable with it but some have a desire to be put to the test or to be dominated.

    Since wherever they turn in everyday life men are trying to gain their favor, they go to the fantasy world.


    On the contrary, the eroge Fate Stay Night sold hundreds of thousands worldwide, establishing a franchise, and can be used as an example of what constitutes sexual fantasy for young men.

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    It is not to abuse or torture a woman as the feminists claim, but rather to have the "perfect woman" who loves you and for whom you sacrifice your life if needed. A lot closer to a traditional romance.

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    I tell you about ''self-destructive fetishes'' ... then you are training new jumps/combinations of jumps (in figure skating) and you will fall after every attempts of yours. Ice is cold but also hard surface ... and still you will always rise up and try again ... until you'll get it done.

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    The real problem is these women with self-destructive tendencies getting into government and, being the state themselves, translating their desire for self-destruction to the nation. When the leader is dominant, the nation is dominant. When the leader is submissive, the nation falls.

    I'm not against women at all. Women who wish to supplant men in their roles are against women, as this leads, ultimately, to Merkels who invite the third world to come rape them and destroy the people and culture which, after all, is their purpose to perpetuate.
    Most people think as they are trained to think, and most people make a majority.

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