I just bumped into a very good fragment from a book, put into an article named Aphorisms that reflect the difference between true love and ephemeral sexual passion. The article is in Romanian language, but I am making an effort to share it with you, translating (and adapting it) to English (since I am not a professional translator, and the language used is very... stylistic). I think it's worth sharing, with the effort to open the eyes of some people (hopefully).

So... here it goes...

Aphorisms that reflect the difference between true love and ephemeral sexual passion

by yoga teacher Gregorian Bivolaru

An ephemeral sexual passion is just a greedy inner desire which lacks love. In such cases, just the two human bodies are craving for each other and are subjugated only by strong sexual instincts.

A mutual, intense and profound love it is something completely different. It always implies altruism, shared friendship, kindness, and other manifestations of mutual love, such as devotion, and even self sacrifice. The roots of a mutual love are strong, they are stable and they keep growing with every week that passes by.


An ephemeral sexual passion which lacks love is for both partners egoistic, shallow, it implies an obvious indifference and it is most often characterized by a an agonizing feeling of insecurity. Most often, it leaves a state of emptiness and exhaustion. Sooner or later, the two partners will face uncertainties, that are worrying them, and questions without an answer. (...) In such an ephemeral and shallow relationship, which lacks perspectives, we are excited, but not in the right way, we are often restless, and it is obvious that we are not happy. Sooner or later, our anemic dream will fall apart. It is important to acknowledge that such sexual experiences (which lack love) are characteristic for the egoistic human beings, whose hearts are turned into stone, and who stubbornly refuse love.

Mutual love, on the other side, creates intense states of happiness, leads to clear and fulfilling understandings, it shows the Divine in our loved one and, through transfiguration and adoration, it helps us to become emphatic towards the soul of the human being that we love. Such a love lets us "taste" the qualities and the perfection of the other human being, whom we love, which our mutual love makes them grow and flourish afterwards. The two lovers become One. (...) Mutual love helps us to grow spiritually (...). It helps us to transcend our limits and it grows in us the creative impulse to support each other with altruism and kindness. (...) The presence of the human being that we love gives us courage, a new and wonderful meaning to our existence (...).

An ephemeral sexual passion which lacks love is whispering to us: "Live, no matter what, what it is offered to you now!" "Accept, no matter what the outcome will be, this unleashed adventure, that sometimes resembles a devastating earthquake." "Take all that these poor moments offer you, because it is possible that this date will forever be the first and the last one. It doesn't matter that it will leave you with a bitter taste!" "Take no matter what the risk of this experience, because otherwise you will lose these tiny crumbs and the lost will be total and irremediable." "Experiment everything in a hurry and sip to the end this cup which is filled only a quarter of its volume. Ignore and don't take into consideration the fact that this quarter of the cup contains also the bitterness, the frustration, and the regret which almost inevitably come afterwards."

The profound mutual love invites us: "Love intensely and without measure the human being of the opposite sex that loves you and discover with enchantment that she is offering you exquisite happiness and fulfillment through the love she is offering you." "Never do any trade in a relationship based on mutual love." "In a relationship of mutual love in which you already discovered that the other one loves you, and you also know that you love them as much (or even more), you should never feel fear." "Remember that always, the human being of the opposite sex that loves you and whom you love passionately is always with you, even when there is a great physical distance between you two." "When you are in a relationship based on mutual love, you can even dare to make plans. In the case of a relationship based on mutual love, you can do everything you can to deserve the love of the human being of the opposite sex who loves you and, even more than that, you can fully trust the future, because the future is always created in the present moment."

A sexual passion which lacks love is ephemeral and it has a predominant sexual nature, which at some point starts to exasperate the human being. If we are honest enough to ourselves, we will have to admit that it is difficult and almost impossible to maintain for a long time such a relationship, which becomes embarrassing, infamous, especially when we know that what we go through will never become love and that an authentic state of emotional fusion and a state of erotic intimacy are impossible to be reached in such a relationship, based only on sexuality.

Intense, steady and mutual love, that aspires to become a legendary love, assumes a total friendship and, more over, it assumes an inner maturity and wisdom. All of these should exist either before becoming lovers, or they should appear after we already became lovers, because in an extraordinary love relationship it is absolutely necessary to be very good friends too. Love without friendship is exactly like a cake which is missing an essential ingredient, which would give it a delicious and unforgettable taste.

In the case of a relationship which is based on an ephemeral sexual passion which lacks love, we discover at some point that we only feed some ephemeral illusions and we realize in the end that in such a desolate relationship there is lack of mutual trust and that indifference is dominant. When our sexual partner leaves after fulfilling their "desires", we discover that we disappeared for them as a human being and at the same time we realize that he is also just a "product of consume" for us. Such a relationship is similar with the mechanical habit to crave periodically for an icecream, whose plastic recipient and spoon we abandon in the thrash bin after consuming the icecream. In such moments of clarity we realize that our sexual partner treats us in the same way. We discover that we are and continue to be one for each other just something that can be consumed only in order to fulfill sexual desires. It is obvious that things are in this way, because in the case of an icecream or of a cake which we consume just to fulfill our physiological hunger, we can never say that we love the icecream or the cake which from time to time we feel the need to consume. That icecream is just a banal icecream that we swallow and then we don't crave for it anymore. Just this and nothing more.

Mutual love fills us with happiness, it deifies our being and it also means total trust, both in our partner and in ourselves. Mutual love awakens in us a certain state of security. When we love intensely and without measure, we feel that in this way God/The Allfather is filling our being, and we also become aware that we are safe and nothing endangers us. When love is intense and mutual, the human being of the opposite sex also feels this state of trust which exists and grows in our inner universe, and this fills them with exquisite happiness. (...)

An ephemeral sexual passion, which lacks love, awakens in us, in the end, an acute frustration and, at some point, it creates in us qualms of conscience and regrets, that will appear sooner or later. Every sexual experience that lacks love generates, in the end, in our beings an acute feeling of shame, which most often doesn't disappear and it remains like a dark stain which poisons and darken our soul.

Mutual love never generates such tormenting feelings. Even only this makes us discover how wonderful and valuable is and remains for us mutual love.

The human beings which are deeply perverted, the human beings which start to develop demoniac behaviour, are easily recognized especially from the fact that they stubbornly reject love. They run away from the love which is offered to them, exactly like the devil runs away from incense. Such poor human beings even avoid to not to, by any chance, start to love. In the case of such human beings, the reasons which they invoke are always aberrant, and in most cases such human beings chose to cowardly run, without offering any explanations. Their retractility reveals them. Such human beings that avoid love, who run away from the obvious and divine goodness, actually run like crazy with their arms open to the infernal evil that will throw them in the claws of the devils. For such human beings the motto is: "In case of love, especially when I feel that love is almost starting to become mutual, the only possible victory is to run away fast, without wasting any second!" Analyzing with lucidity such human beings that avoid to love and who run away from love, we easily discover that they live in a tormenting way and they never aspire to surpass the limits which imprison them. All human beings that never "risk" to love, continue to be like a worm that creeps, without observing the emptiness, the dark, the cowardliness, and the state of inaction in which they continue to stay. If we observe that a human being is running away, just like the devil runs away from incense, from the love that it is offered to them and stubbornly avoids to love, in this way they reveal themselves as starting to have a demonic behaviour.

At the opposite pole, the intense, pure, constant and mutual love, that appears between two human beings of opposite sex, raises them up, transforms them rapidly, makes them expand euphorically and, more than that, it deifies them. Such a mutual love makes them raise their foreheads and impulses them to spontaneously reflect about the highest values, which are universally valid. Such a love transforms them at an accelerated pace, and impulses them to become better human beings, more pure, happier, more fulfilled, more humane, and awakens their souls. This is why both the saints and the great sages said that there where is love, God is also revealed to us.

Fragment of text taken from the book What does it mean in reality to be and to remain an exceptional woman.

Translated from Romanian language from the source here.