Results 1 to 1 of 1

Thread: Amazon Selling Nightstand That Doubles Up As Weapon For Home Self-Defence

  1. #1
    Sound methods Chlodovech's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Last Online
    12 Hours Ago @ 07:28 AM
    Holy Roman Empire Holy Roman Empire
    Völkisch traditionalist
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    Thanked in
    1,097 Posts

    Amazon Selling Nightstand That Doubles Up As Weapon For Home Self-Defence

    What a serene scene.

    If you've ever been back to someone's house and noticed they have a baseball bat next to their bed, it can look a little bit rough. I mean, it's all good having someone who is going to protect you from intruders, but it's a little bit... well, intense, isn't it? Doesn't help much if it's a cricket bat, either.

    Naturally, someone out there has thought of a product that resolves the key issue of keeping your home safe while not looking like the sort of person who's pretty psyched to swing a bat in someone else's direction.

    Simply head to Amazon and you too can sleep soundly knowing you've got the protection you need, and it looks sleek AF - 2019, eh? What a very, very weird time to be alive.

    Basically, it's a chic nightstand that miraculously doubles up as a bat and shield to help protect you from robbers and murderers - practical on two levels and also nice to look at.

    To be fair, if you've ever experienced a break-in, you'll know it's pretty terrifying, so this should help you sleep at night.

    For the most part, the Woodquail Bat and Shield, Bamboo Self Defense Night Stand will play the role of the bedside table in your life. Use it for your Netflix binges, your cup of cocoa, your pizza in bed. Ideally, that's all you'll ever need it for.

    But then, should the worst happen, and that noise you hear in the night turns out not to be a figment of your imagination, or the floorboards creaking, you need not worry. Just quickly take apart your table and before you know it, you will be able to defend yourself.

    The product description also says that it can simply be a 'visual warning' as opposed to full-on murder weapon, so that's... comforting, I guess?

    It reads: "This Bat and Shield Set can be helpful as self-defence accessories in order to visually warn the intruder that you are protected.

    "The bamboo material gives the Bat and Shield their effortless chic. As with all of our bamboo products, this one has been varnished to protect it against water and to make cleaning easy.

    "It can be also a piece of modern designer furniture if you use it as bedside table. The staples can be used for cables. Designer furniture tends to combine aesthetic & practical functions.

    "It is equally suitable for both a male and female bedroom. It is reported that 50% of people in the UK are worried about security at night. That's why having a means of self-defence by your bedside is psychologically comforting. Many people use an alarm system, but it's not necessarily active when you're in."

    Nightstand or no nightstand, I would still mainly recommend calling the police if you do find yourself with an unwanted visitor in the house.

    Source: Ladbible
    “Remember that all worlds draw to an end and that noble death is a treasure which no-one is too poor to buy.” - C. S. Lewis, The Last Battle

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to Chlodovech For This Useful Post:

Similar Threads

  1. Home Defence Tests of Interest
    By theTasmanian in forum Self-Defense & the Art of War
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: Thursday, August 2nd, 2018, 04:57 PM
  2. Under Pressure, Amazon Stops Selling Holocaust-denial Books
    By Nachtengel in forum Literature & Book Reviews
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: Sunday, July 9th, 2017, 04:34 PM


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts