View Poll Results: Are you jealous in your relationships?

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  • Generally yes.

    6 35.29%
  • Generally no.

    11 64.71%
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Thread: Jealousy in Relationships: Productive or Destructive?

  1. #1
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    Jealousy in Relationships: Productive or Destructive?

    Do you think jealousy belongs in relationships? Can it be motivating or does it betray distrust? Just fyi, it's about a normal dose of jealousy, not about extreme, pathological cases. Everything in moderation.

    Are you jealous in your relationship?

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    Yes, I think a healthy amount of jealousy is far more desirable than the complete lack of it, which maybe interpreted as indifference.

    It prevents you from taking your partner for granted, it motivates you to take care of yourself as opposed to letting go, it keeps the relationship alive and interesting as opposed to falling into routine.

    But if jealousy is unreasonable and pathological, it can be really destructive for a relationship.

    Are you jealous in your relationship?
    Of course I am, to an extent. I always think of the possibility of my man getting bored and falling into temptation. Hence I strive to keep him interested.

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    Yes, I get very jealous if another woman comes in the picture. I used to be very jealous of a woman my husband was interested in before we went out. He only had eyes for her but she didn't give a shit about him. Yet he still pursued her. Men. But now I'm not jealous because I know his attention is 100% focused on me.

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    I really don't have any reason to be jealous in my relationship, and neither does my boyfriend. We are both very devoted and committed to each other and not interested in anyone else. Besides, if he was looking at someone else, he'd soon find out you can't do better than the best. ;P

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    I think that jealousy in a relationship is a negative thing, but I also think it is impotant to distinguish jealousy from other emotions which are often labled "jealous." What I mean by that is that it is common to see an individual in a relationship accuse the significant other of being "jealous" after they have slipped up and been caught cheating. Let's face it, the "jealous" partner is angry not "jealous." Call it what it is.

    Jealousy, in my opinion, is almost always based upon an unfounded belief, lacking in evidence. The individual creates imaginary possibilities in their head without any evidence that they might be true. For example, a buxom woman in tight, short skirt is hired at a husband's company, and suddenly his wife fears her husband might have something going on with this woman, even though there is no indication that he does. That would be jealousy, imo.

    If the wife in that scenario discovered her husband was caling the woman late at night, exchanging naughty e-mails with the woman, and even had gone out on dates several times with the woman.... her emotion isn't jealousy. It's righteous anger. No matter how many times her husband accuses her of being "jealous" she simply isn't. She is angry that he has betrayed her trust and their relationship.

    Jealousy can be a motivator for a woman to keep her relationship interesting and always strive to take care of herself, as Blaxis suggested, but I don't believe that it is necessary for that. A woman can do those things without any shred of jealousy. Simply a desire to do those things is sufficient enough.

    No, I am not jealous in relationships.
    "I do not know what horrified me most at that time: the economic misery of my companions, their moral and ethical coarseness, or the low level of their intellectual development." Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf

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    I personally feel Jealousy= Mistrust.

    Why are you jealous?

    for most people it's personal insecurity. If you can't trust your partner then why bother being in a relationship with them?

    There is no place for it in a healthy relationship.

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    I used to be easily jealous. But sometime ago I told myself to cut myself and her some slack. Jealousy is sometimes timely, but most often It's not.

    Though a wee bit is just a healthy sign. But keep it inside. If something bothers her, just tell her what and why and how. My girlfriend beautiful, so she naturally gets some attention. I take it as a compliment, but I keep a steady eye.

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    A healthy measure of jealousy can be quite productive. You're usually jealous because you care, so being entirely indifferent to it would perhaps be a scary matter. Blind trust is a little too naive, a healthy measure of looking out for potential signs definitely isn't pathological.

    However, when one becomes overly controlling it is totally out of place. I remember that a female friend of mine used to have this über-jealous Ex who'd get in a huff if she even talked with her own brother!

    What perhaps also matters a lot is how you act upon your jealousy. Perhaps asserting under four eyes to the other guy that this girl is your girlfriend and that therefore he should keep it appropriate is fine ... whilst some other behaviour perhaps isn't fine, most notably what I experienced yesterday.

    I had been for a beer with a mate. He left because he had to catch his bus and I stayed, but first went to take a call to a different mate at home. When I returned after twenty minutes, I found that some on the neighbouring table had nicked my beer in the belief that I had left. So I asked to get it back --- which was when "the trouble started".

    In the course of all that, I got talking with this girl. Just about music and all (and I was really just talking). Well, of course in my charming, eloquent way. Her boyfriend still sat at the next table and became increasingly jealous of the attention I received. Ya know, he could have just casually remarked that this was his girl I was talking to, no problems...

    ... But instead he approached the barman and arranged for her to get ID-ed and thrown out of the pub for being 17 (you have to be 18 to drink, which she is in a few weeks). So, this guy is jealous but instead of having the bollocks to stand up for himself, he gets bitter and arranges for *his own girlfriend* to get ejected from the pub for underage drinking. What a w*****...

    Though you should have seen his face when she then, outside, gave me her number ... after all that, he deserved that one.
    -In kalte Schatten versunken... /Germaniens Volk erstarrt / Gefroren von Lügen / In denen die Welt verharrt-
    -Die alte Seele trauernd und verlassen / Verblassend in einer erklärbaren Welt / Schwebend in einem Dunst der Wehmut / Ein Schrei der nur unmerklich gellt-
    -Auch ich verspüre Demut / Vor dem alten Geiste der Ahnen / Wird es mir vergönnt sein / Gen Walhalla aufzufahren?-

    (Heimdalls Wacht, In kalte Schatten versunken, stanzas 4-6)

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    He acted like an ass, but if she gave you your number despite having a boyfriend, then she probably deserved it anyway. Even if he treated her bad, you don't just give out your number like that while you're in a relationship.

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    There is nothing wrong with making reports of your activity to partners. As I said before, if you decided to share your life with someone, everything you do is his business. There is nothing wrong with demanding to know everything partners do.

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