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Thread: Would You Marry a Swinger?

  1. #21
    Member Kauriraris's Avatar
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    Now that we're all aware of what swinging is..

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kauriraris View Post
    Now that we're all aware of what swinging is..
    And this whole time I thought it was just a dance style.
    Life is like a fire hydrant- sometimes you help people put out their fires, but most of the time you just get peed on by every dog in the neighborhood.

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SpearBrave For This Useful Post:


  4. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finnish Swede View Post
    Why they stay with their original partners if they want to be with someone else?
    Swingers still very much like to be with their partners, they just switch with other couples for different reasons, like spicing up their sex life, and the like. It's mostly about sex, although some swingers also develop an emotional or social relationship with other couples. Some swingers only do it with couples they like and trust as best friends, for example. Swingers are just folks who don't want to split up just cause they sleep with other people, and they don't want to lie to each other about it either. There's a lot of prudish judgment on here but truth is, swingers are much more honest than cheaters.

    Other reasons folks may swing:

    • they ain't monogamous. Monogamy isn't a lifestyle for everyone and it's not the only type of relationship you find in nature, it's just culture. Just cause it works for you doesn't mean it works for your neighbor, or other folks for that matter.
    • they're nymphomaniacs (they need a lot of sex), or sex is to them just a physical thing, without emotions/strings attached.
    • they're gay/bisexual or bicurious, but they don't wanna leave their family and start a new life in the "scene".
    • they're voyeuristic. Some folks get a kick out of seeing their partner sleep with someone else
    • they like to fulfil some fantasy, like threesomes or group sex.
    • they're sexually incompatible, but they complete each other on other levels (e.g. emotionally) enough that they wanna stay together.
    • one of the partners is asexual, so s/he can't provide the other with sex. Many asexuals open their relationship as a result.
    • to make the other partner jealous and "ignite the fire", or promote competition/challenges. Some folks thrive on jealousy and competition, seeing their partner with someone else creates a challenge for them to better themselves & win them back.
    • to give their partner freedom or enhance trust. Some folks will shake their heads but it can be true. Sometimes, it's the holding the other partner on a leash that encourages cheating. Ya know the old saying, rules are made to be broken. On the other hand, if the fruit ain't forbidden, it may not be as enticing.
    • for the sake of the kids. They no longer love each other, but they don't wanna divorce or separate cause it affects the kids. Swinging is a form of compromise.

    For many swingers, it's a lifestyle. There's swingers clubs, events, communities and the like. It ain't uncommon for swingers to socialize and go eating or shopping together and the like. It's also a way to make friends and social connections. Some find work or form businesses that way.

    Anyways, far as the original question goes. Should ya go ahead and crucify this chick just cause she was a swinger in the past? Well that depends on how ya feel about it. I see nothing wrong with swinging. As long as it involves two consenting adults, it's to each his own. But if you're someone more on the prude side who wants to marry a virgin maiden, it may not be your cuppa. Moreover, if you're someone focused on "social morals" and someone who cares what other folks think and say about your marriage, it may not work. Not cause of her or her past, but cause of your and other folks' judgmental attitude. If you're that kind of overtly judgmental dude, then it's always gonna be the elephant in the room and nothing she does will change it. On the other hand, if you're more laid back, you could look at the swinging as just a detail of her past. A more important question is, do you trust her? Trust is more important than what someone did in their past. Pretty sure you've got stuff to be embarrassed about too, and you wouldn't find it fair if she crucified ya for it. It's possible she ain't into swinging herself anymore, but sees it as a business. Being in the swinging business ain't just about the sex, there's a lot of money that can be made from it. And since she has experience with it, that may be one of the things she's just good at. Anyways, just be honest with her. If her career choice bothers you, let her know. Put the cards on the table from the beginning and be honest with each other. It's somethin you wanna talk about now, and with her, instead of about her.

  5. #24
    Senior Member Finnish Swede's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gefjon View Post
    Swingers still very much like to be with their partners, they just switch with other couples for different reasons, like spicing up their sex life, and the like. It's mostly about sex, although some swingers also develop an emotional or social relationship with other couples. Some swingers only do it with couples they like and trust as best friends, for example. Swingers are just folks who don't want to split up just cause they sleep with other people, and they don't want to lie to each other about it either. There's a lot of prudish judgment on here but truth is, swingers are much more honest than cheaters.

    Other reasons folks may swing:

    • they ain't monogamous. Monogamy isn't a lifestyle for everyone and it's not the only type of relationship you find in nature, it's just culture. Just cause it works for you doesn't mean it works for your neighbor, or other folks for that matter.
    • they're nymphomaniacs (they need a lot of sex), or sex is to them just a physical thing, without emotions/strings attached.
    • they're gay/bisexual or bicurious, but they don't wanna leave their family and start a new life in the "scene".
    • they're voyeuristic. Some folks get a kick out of seeing their partner sleep with someone else
    • they like to fulfil some fantasy, like threesomes or group sex.
    • they're sexually incompatible, but they complete each other on other levels (e.g. emotionally) enough that they wanna stay together.
    • one of the partners is asexual, so s/he can't provide the other with sex. Many asexuals open their relationship as a result.
    • to make the other partner jealous and "ignite the fire", or promote competition/challenges. Some folks thrive on jealousy and competition, seeing their partner with someone else creates a challenge for them to better themselves & win them back.
    • to give their partner freedom or enhance trust. Some folks will shake their heads but it can be true. Sometimes, it's the holding the other partner on a leash that encourages cheating. Ya know the old saying, rules are made to be broken. On the other hand, if the fruit ain't forbidden, it may not be as enticing.
    • for the sake of the kids. They no longer love each other, but they don't wanna divorce or separate cause it affects the kids. Swinging is a form of compromise.

    For many swingers, it's a lifestyle. There's swingers clubs, events, communities and the like. It ain't uncommon for swingers to socialize and go eating or shopping together and the like. It's also a way to make friends and social connections. Some find work or form businesses that way.

    Thank's for very detailed explanation.


  6. #25
    Member Kauriraris's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finnish Swede View Post
    Thank's for very detailed explanation.

    Yeah, that bulletpoint presentation was pretty interesting.

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