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Thread: Would You Marry a Swinger?

  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finnish Swede View Post
    Sorry, what this ''swinger'' is?

    A person who practices sex with several partners but is not relationship with anybody (so she is not ''cheating'' anybody, or?)
    Another modern term for whoring around (see the 2nd explanation)?

    Well, at least for me it's the same thing... I don't see the difference... I find it as disgusting as the other behaviour, so I don't think I'm wrong if I put them into the same category (or... who am I to judge these kind of things?)...

    I don't know what advice I would give on this, but I think both SpearBrave and Gareth Lee Hunter already said much more than I could have said myself...

    You know your situation better... I wish you good luck with it and I wish you'll take the wisest decision possible! I'd be curious what you decided... and how things will turn around in a couple of years from now... if you don't mind coming back here and writing about the outcome... no matter which decision you take...

    Sometimes it's definitely much better to stay single than with the wrong person... I'd prefer to be in a relationship too, for example, but I'd rather be single, than with not a suitable person for me (and me for him)... It's much better to be single than complicate your life aimlessly...

    But people can change, who knows... I guess you know your situation better than anyone here does...
    Die Farben duften frisch und grün... Lieblich haucht der Wind um mich.

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  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finnish Swede View Post
    Sorry, what this ''swinger'' is?

    A person who practices sex with several partners but is not relationship with anybody (so she is not ''cheating'' anybody, or?)
    https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=swinger
    “A dying culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than is a riot.” Robert A. Heinlein

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  5. #13
    Sound methods Chlodovech's Avatar
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    @FS: you're still so innocent, it's cute.

    Swingers are people who are in a relationship but decide as a couple to have a sex life outside of their relationship with other couples, they trade their habitual sexual partner - their own wife or husband or girlfriend/boyfriend - for someone else's spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend just for sex, usually only once or a few times - through an agreement reached with other swinger couples. So a man will sleep with someone else's girlfriend or wife, while his own girlfriend/wife will sleep with the boyfriend/husband of the woman he goes to bed with. They often get to know likeminded individuals/other swingers in a social circle, a club, which exist for that kind of people.
    “Tradition anchors our experience of time in memory and projects it into the future through hope.” – Rein Staal

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chlodovech View Post
    @FS: you're still so innocent, it's cute.

    Swingers are people who are in a relationship but decide as a couple to have a sex life outside of their relationship with other couples, they trade their habitual sexual partner - their own wife or husband or girlfriend/boyfriend - for someone else's spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend just for sex, usually only once or a few times - through an agreement reached with other swinger couples. So a man will sleep with someone else's girlfriend or wife, while his own girlfriend/wife will sleep with the boyfriend/husband of the woman he goes to bed with. They often get to know likeminded individuals/other swingers in a social circle, a club, which exist for that kind of people.

    Why they stay with their original partners if they want to be with someone else?

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  9. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finnish Swede View Post
    Why they stay with their original partners if they want to be with someone else?
    I have no idea, swingers I guess are hedonistic and really are into pleasing themselves first above anybody else. It is very confusing to me as to why people are that way.
    Life is like a fire hydrant- sometimes you help people put out their fires, but most of the time you just get peed on by every dog in the neighborhood.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gareth Lee Hunter View Post
    Or watch this movie, 2 + 2, it's about swingers, and it describes that better than any other explanations (maybe it's enough just to watch the trial, not the whole movie, watching the whole of it may be waste of time)...

    To be honest, before watching that movie (with some other people) I didn't know that a swinger is either...

    Honestly, again... am I the only one here who finds these kind of things disgusting?

    I mean... I don't care what others are doing as long as they don't impose it on me or they don't get me involved in it... It's their own business what they are doing in private... but that's definitely not for me!


    Quote Originally Posted by SpearBrave View Post
    I have no idea, swingers I guess are hedonistic and really are into pleasing themselves first above anybody else. It is very confusing to me as to why people are that way.
    I have no idea either... I'm as confused as you... For me that's just an obvious sign of a decadent society, to be honest...
    Die Farben duften frisch und grün... Lieblich haucht der Wind um mich.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Finnish Swede View Post
    Why they stay with their original partners if they want to be with someone else?


    They don't want to be in a relationship with someone else, just have sex with someone other than their partner. They still love their own partner. As to why that is: the reason could be that the act of sleeping with someone else's partner and/or the knowledge of your own partner sleeping with someone else is a sexual fantasy on the part of a couple or maybe just a guy who convinces his reluctant gf/wife to try it, others may simply have a big sexual appetite and as swingers they can have sex with random people as an outlet without having to cheat officially. It could also be an attempt to spice up one's sex life after the passion in the bedroom has diminished as swingers are usually couples in their thirties/forties/fifties who have been together for a long time and by sleeping with others a couple may hope to somehow revive the passion of the good old days.

    And of course some swingers are probably not honest with themselves and their partners, that's to say: they don't want to leave their current partner for whatever reason but don't love them anymore nor do they have much sex and then they simply use membership in a swinger club as a way to get the sex they miss in their own relationship.
    “Tradition anchors our experience of time in memory and projects it into the future through hope.” – Rein Staal

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    Quote Originally Posted by Víđálfr View Post
    I have no idea either... I'm as confused as you... For me that's just an obvious sign of a decadent society, to be honest...
    I see. By then I think they need to be older people who already have had several sexual partners? ... and sex has become just one kind of performance (like sport)? No emotional sides involved anymore ... just action.

    I think big cities have those kind of (unemotional) people more than rural areas.

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    I'd be much much more concerned about the following.

    Has she been through the battery of tests for STDs , including follow-up tests?
    Why is she still organising or helping them get their functions together. I'm thinking someone else still swinging could take her place in that.

    I would be quite turned off by the whole lifestyle, but I hold hard lines.

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    Since it is a hidden private question without poll :

    How old are both of you ?

    How long did she do that ?



    From my own experience with a woman , that had been a lot older than me ,
    having had sex in a group sex with another couple during the "roaring seventies" ,
    and claimed her daughter had been begat by some other man than her husband :

    Parents were refugees from Danzig after the Second World War ,
    cominig by fishing boat .

    Forced housed at the upper floor of a local family .
    Brother 20 years older than her .
    Father listend on the floor about what would the local family talk (about them) .

    Brother got a job , that does not exist anymore : Controlling nails and screws at
    railways while walking long distances .

    The father whipped her on occasions with a trousser's belt .

    When marrying her husband , she left the town to another of similar size
    some 60 kms away .

    She was still able to commute to work to the town where she had been born ,
    where she learned painter's sales(wo)man behind the counter , in a
    middle class craftman's painting (wallpapers, facades) company , but
    somehow lost the job and became housewife .

    Her husband had been furniture / window carpenter ,
    who had been a soldier at the nuclear curtain brigades ,
    operating these short range 120kms/80miles LANCE rocket
    missiles to poison any Russian breaktrough into Western Europe,
    when they both met .

    Times later , she rang her husband's employer company
    many times , and then they fired him .
    He got a "good" but "boring" job as HouseMaster doing some
    cleaning , repairs , gardening in a local school ( Public Servant,
    steady monetairy income ) .

    Times later , she tried to drown herself in a prominent lake .

    They divorced .

    She ended up with medicines putting her
    to 99kgs/200lbs at 1,55m/5ft hight .

    She had been afraid to walk stairs , and in our
    good-doer's society they paid people to train
    walking or climbing stairs with her .


    Completely messed up background .

    There had been no future for me in the
    mental sick daycare she went every day .

    We had several quarrels , and once I knocked her a
    blue/black eye .

    And then she got 50 hours paid psychological talk .
    That all was some kind of too many problems alltogheter ,
    and one day I did not want her around at my place , for
    whatever depressive future .

    Next morning around 9'Oclock , she went to the
    bus pickup point , to be driven to the mental sick
    day care , and died by a brain stroke .


    I have not the very best experiences .

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