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Thread: How to Build a Perfect Union of Love Based on the Highest Ideals

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    Quote Originally Posted by SaxonPagan View Post
    Too many insecure people out there who feel they need to read books or online articles about "building perfect relationships" etc..

    You can't do this Just have confidence in yourself! If there was a universal recipe it would have been discovered centuries ago, but everyone is a unique individual and you have to trust your own intuition; sometimes improvising as you go along.
    Talk her up, get her drunk, knock her up, and put a ring on that finger before her belly becomes too obvious. That seems to have been the modus operandi for centuries. If anyone kept statistics on such matters, I think we'd be amazed how many women got married six or seven months before they had their first child. And most of these marriages seem to have lasted till death did them apart.
    A nation is an organic thing, historically defined.
    A wave of passionate energy which unites past, present and future generations

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    Marriage is like a garden. All the plants need to be watered otherwise they die................
    I'm 83 and married for 59 years, the belief in God played a big role.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Siebenbürgerin View Post
    For example, Chlodovech's article about romantic love. In my view it's very true. In the past, unions weren't based on lust and sexual attractions. In my tradition, much of the times in the past the marriages were arranged and the couple learned to love and desire each other after marriage. There was no question of concepts like "sexual compatibility" and the like before marriage.
    Personally, I'm very glad we're not living anymore in the age of 'arranged marriages'. Even though I can see the benefits of such marriages, I honestly prefer the way it is nowadays. But not into the other extreme, of course. I don't mean just "sexual compatibility", or lust, it is much more than that. I think it's crazy how some people talk these days about "sexual compatibility" like sex was the most important thing in their lives forever, so I don't mean that. After a certain age you're not going to have sex anymore, most probably, so what are you going to do then?

    To illustrate what I mean, if you've seen the movie "Pride and Prejudice", I really loved watching it (I watched it recently), and I loved all these cute things about 'dating' in that time and age (I got access to the DVD, which also has some extra videos, also explaining how dating was in that era... and how meaningful could have been just the touch of hands, for example... as it is emphasized in the movie, in some scenes.).

    Personally, my answer to arranged marriages would certainly be something like this as well:





    Her answer to the proposal really made me laugh, especially since I'm also this type of spirited woman myself. (And I'm glad I have a good father like that too!)

    Maybe in the above scene it wasn't about a strictly arranged marriage, but still close enough to be illustrative.


    Quote Originally Posted by Siebenbürgerin View Post
    At some point, I even thought we were better more suited as friends. However, my marriage is so far very happy and after partaking in the sacrament of matrimony, after my union before God, my husband became an even more special person to me. The fact that we get along as friends and companions tells me that our marriage won't crack easily, even when we are old and wrinkly. Our definition of romanticness and intimacy is more than superficial. We've a spiritual type of bond. We see each other as a unit, not as two separate parties.
    Yes, I think friendship is very important in a couple relationship, and how can people be in a relationship without being good friends first of all? Relationships based merely on lust and sexual attraction obviously cannot last for too long. Being friends is the most important ingredient, and if you can be the best friends one to each other then it's even better, I think!

    Also, I believe the sacred union is very important. This is why I insisted my ex to marry me (we've been together for more than 7 years!!!), and this is what he didn't understand, even though he's a Christian. If I knew he would never marry me, I would probably not have started the relationship with him... But who knows? I think it is very important to have a sacred union, regardless in which religion. Spirituality is very important in a relationship, besides friendship. But well, this is my view...

    I think you have all chances to succeed, despite of what others told you... Just don't listen to them! People talk like that, and sometimes they don't even realize it's because their own unhappiness in relationships, or being jealous on other people's happiness, or who knows what other reasons... Thanks for sharing your personal experience, by the way!

    Indeed, being good friends doesn't always mean you can be a good couple too, but this is something personal, which only the people involved in the relationship (friendship or more) can figure out for themselves. It's no one else's business. I've had many good male friends in different periods of my life, and some other people believed we were actually in a romantic relationship, not just friends. But we were better as friends only. Of course, sometimes it can be more, and why not? Personally I'd rather marry and be with someone who really is a good friend and I know the potential of our relationship, than with someone I just had sex with and we felt good having sex (that's very unlikely to happen, it's just an imaginative scenario). But why have sex with strangers in the first place? I don't see the point! I'd rather develop into a deeper connection an existing friendship, than starting a relationship with sex (which so many people do, unfortunately!).

    Relationships based just on sexual attraction, not good... When that lust fades away, there's nothing else left... Just pain and disillusions, and maybe years lost in vain...

    I am definitely the romantic type, and I would definitely not be happy in an arranged marriage, or anything like that. I'd rather be single instead, refusing such offers.

    I also think that friendship is more likely to develop into a romantic love, than it is for lust to develop into love... I've never heard of any case of people who decided to be together just because of lust and who started to love each other too to that extend to live happily together ever after... Relationships based merely on lust usually don't last longer than 3 years (the happiest estimate).
    Die Farben duften frisch und grün... Lieblich haucht der Wind um mich.

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