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Thread: How to Build a Perfect Union of Love Based on the Highest Ideals

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    How to Build a Perfect Union of Love Based on the Highest Ideals

    Conventional Couple versus Spiritual Couple

    We have all wished for a perfect sublime relationship with a member of the opposite sex.
    Some of us succeed the first time, others succeed after many failed attempts; others are still searching. There is no need to worry about this, since “Everyone has their own half” as states an ancient proverb. Sooner or later, you and your beloved will come together to enjoy the most sublime aspects of love, depending on how quickly you become aware of REALITY.

    It is essential to understand typical mistakes made in a "normal" or "conventional" couple.
    From the beginning this kind of a relationship is doomed to failure.
    By becoming aware of our mistakes we can build a perfect union of love based on the highest ideals.
    Here is a comparative analysis of the two types of relationships: the conventional and the spiritual.


    CONVENTIONAL COUPLE SPIRITUAL COUPLE
    Closed process. The couple''s motivations are not clarified. Most of the time, the couple is modelled on a standard pattern established by others rather than on self-determined values. Security and stability is preferred, transformation avoided. This is why individual evolution is very slow. Both try hard to be according to the other''s image; the lovers do not act freely. They do not do as they honestly feel. Open process. The relationship is clearly established for a spiritual purpose, and common objectives constitute the foundation of the relationship. There is mutual recognition of each other’s freedom. Both lovers honestly and openly express who they are, their desires, and their goals. Transformation is accepted, and there is no jealousy. This is the reason why individual evolution is very rapid.
    Doubt. The closed process creates less self-confidence and less confidence in each other. You become attached and feel dependent, and need the other to place value upon yourself. Trust. An open process allows each lover to be aware of their own independence. You do not try to change the other. Rather, you accept them as they are and you help them by your own presence.
    Competition. "Do not take my place". The struggle for power appears: Who gives the orders? Who is the authority? There is a conflict of roles. Their own interests come first. The Ego is “in power”. Understanding. Each lover has the same “rank”, the same responsibilities. Each respects the other’s “space” and the desire to be either together or alone. There is a flexibility in roles: you are here to help the other advance.
    Dependency: Therearefixed roles. You wish to impose your different points of view on the other. You feel separated, alone and unfulfilled. There is fear of abandonment. Autonomy: Each lover is self-sufficient, and not dependent on the other. Love confers security. Each lover is open to the other’s desire for spiritual evolution. Hence there is a stong understanding of the “tools” used for spiritual development: the need for spiritual practice, allowance for free time, travel, and other requirements. This leads to spontaneity and harmony.
    Conditions. Dependency creates conditional exchanges. The relationship is conducted through rules, contracts, and compulsion. The basis of the union is the concept of trade: if you offer something you get something in return. Attitudes are premeditated. There can be manipulation. Liberty. Autonomy fosters tolerance, detachment, and surrender. No longer is there domination nor possessiveness. The lovers together spontaneously explore the joyful adventure of conscious evolution as a couple. There is happiness, mutual confidence, and harmony.
    Boredom. The lovers create rules because they no longer enjoy spending time together. They enter into a routine that destroys creativity and inventiveness. Each begins to think the other is the source of unhappiness and this is the reason why each must defend themself. Creativity. There is a constant state of play and agreeable mood between the two lovers. Spontaneity, inspiration, and amusement is evident. Roles and resposibilities change spontaneously. New avenues of love are invented. You feel really good and happy together.
    Insecurity: You have the sense that something is missing, though you do not know what is it exactly. There are feelings of fear, instability and culpability. You avoid the other or reproach them on certain behaviour which upsets you. There may be the deisre to start a family, hoping that this is a solution to the problem and to find greater stability. Security. Profound love leads to the feeling of stability. The desire to start a family may appear, not because the lovers are afraid of losing one another, but in order to fulfill a higher purpose. The spiritual merging of the two lovers induces a superior feeling of security.
    The sensation of failing as a couple. There is a sense of impotence regarding the flow of events. Each lover begins to undervalue the other. Resentments appear that can provoke even further unbalance. There is a feeling of desperation, and that there is nothing you can do. You see no way of bringing harmony back into the couple. Perfect love. There are feelings of abnegation and adoration. Mutual devotion awakens the divine essence in both lovers and mutual self-sacrifice generates a fine mood. You exist for love. Love becomes cosmic; you feel that God is the One who loves you, through your lover.
    Separation. The only solution is separation and divorce. You experience desperation and loneliness. This could be an opportunity for transformation, for possible discovery of autonomy and freedom Unity. The relationship is the opportunity to achieve a spiritual marriage, or union. The couple discover primary love – the love between two archetypes, the male and female. This love leads the couple to UNITY, divine grace and blessedness. They fulfill the ideal of every relationship: the discovery of UNITY, or in other words SUPREME REALITY.

    Read more here

    And some more:

    The first steps in forming the spiritual couple

    This article presents you practical advices about how to approach your couple relationship in order for it to grow harmoniously and blossom, bringing you and your lover to ecstatic states of soul communion.


    An important element for a good start of a spiritual couple relationship is the principle of continuous evolution within the couple relationship. In Tantra it is said that the lovers should always stay in the state of the beginning. It is said: “If one wants to beat time, one must always stay in the state of the beginning”. In a couple relationship this is very important. Very many people wonder how to stay in the state of the beginning, because time passes. But Tantra also offers the solution: We open ourselves towards continuous transformation.

    When we are completely open to transformation, we are constantly in the state of beginning. When we stop or when we tend to avoid this continuous flow of transformation, we automatically fall from the state of the beginning, in other words the wave, the flow takes us away. Therefore, when we want our relationship to stay fresh, in the state of the beginning, we must prepare – and this is an individual responsibility of the each one of the two lovers – for transformation. We must be ready in every moment to transform. Because the relationship itself changes, it transforms.
    If we look at our relationship as if it is a child, we understand that one cannot take a child and tell him: “Come on, now we are busy, we do not have time for you. Stop growing, we carry on with our lives and we come back in two years, to see if you are still growing.” This cannot be. Once he is born, the child grows, he develops, he has his needs, we cannot tell him: “You know what, we are in holiday for the next two weeks, so stop eating.” A couple relationship needs love. We cannot say: “That’s it, now we stop, because I have other priorities in life, I have a carrier, I have other things to do.” This does not exist, the relationship dies.


    Therefore, in the moment we aim to maintain this freshness of the love between us, we must always be ready to transform. It is the openness towards transformation, which we must have from the very beginning. If we at least consider this, we will easily notice that as soon as we get stuck or we try to oppose resistance to the transformation, the relationship starts to fade, the intensity diminishes, it becomes complicated, the extraordinary simplicity from the beginning, where everything was natural, simple, flowing, is lost. If in those moments we remember these words, we can immediately open ourselves to the process of transformation and the problem is solved. The following aspect is very interesting. If it is harmoniously integrated and we maintain ourselves in the state of the beginning through the openness towards transformation itself, a couple relationship takes us towards evolution. In other words, the relationship spiritualizes us, it evolves. Therefore, our job is to open to this spontaneity of transformation in a love relationship and the rest comes from God through that love. When we evolve within the couple, it is very important that the responsibility of the spiritual evolution is shared by the two lovers. Remember, the relationship is the little child. The responsibility for transformation is for the two lovers. Because if there is a stagnation, this takes place in one of us or in both lovers. We cannot say: “Look, the relationship is stagnating. We have such strong aspiration and transfiguration, but our relationship has deadened". Such a thing does not exist. It is the other way around. Either one of them gets stuck or both of them do and then, automatically, the relationship reflects this. In a couple relationship, the relationship is a mirror, but the responsibility for what the mirror reflects belongs to us. It is as if the two lovers go in front of the mirror and say: “This mirror is stupid. Look what ugliness it reflects.” It reflects what is in front of it.

    Here are a few exercises for you to practice:

    Practical exercise – because these states of confusion do not manifest in the same time or when facing the same realities, aim to create this beneficial habit within your couple: stop, every now and then, from the wave of actions and events that you do together and realize that you love each other because you love each other and because there is this state of amazing grace and manifestation of the divine love and for no other reason in this world.
    Another exercise – when you notice that certain elements start to sneak in and burden the fragile shoulders of the love relationship, just remove those elements, because nobody dies without them, but without love we will definitely die. For example, if you notice you have a materialistic tendency and you feel happy and fulfilled also when you are ok materialistically, when you are on holiday, where you have all you need. If you see that this tends to mix with love, keep them separate. Simply, just do not go in that holiday like this. Or, if you have the tendency to make associations between love and habits, restrain yourself from those habits, for a while, until you notice that they do not influence the state of love.
    Exercise for visualizing the relationship – see the relationship as our child, as if the relationship is a new born child, born in the moment we started the couple relationship and which grows gradually. When this child grows, he needs our care and attention, he needs to be nourished, but the child is different then the parents. We tend to see the relationship as being the other one, but the relationship is somewhere in between, it is something different from me or her, it is a glorious synthesis of our souls. That is why we cannot say that it is identical with me or with her, it is the sum of us. We have to be very careful and in time we have to learn to make the distinction between the relationship and the other one. Because, if we do not realize this, we tend to ignore many of the actions that a relationship needs.

    It is as if the child is crying and the mother goes and feeds the father. But the child keeps crying, because he is hungry. Then, the father also feeds the mother and then they wonder: “Hey! Somebody is still crying here. Haven’t you had enough?” But it is the child that screams. This means that sometimes the relationship itself needs certain actions from us together. We both have to do something, it cannot be only one or the other. In the same way a growing child needs two parents and each parent has its role in raising the child that is why we must bring our specific contribution to that relationship. This is why it is said that the two lovers are not lovers by loving one another; they love together the same things, this is how their souls unite. And loving higher and higher things, they love God and in this way they are united together into God. Metaphorically speaking, the position of the two lovers is not to look into each other’s eyes, but to look together in the same direction.


    To underline this idea, one day a great wise man was asked what is the secret of happiness within the couple and what makes love last for the entire life? His answer was: “Love together the same things.”

    And the message from our spiritual guide is “Love God together.”


    Taken from "The spiritual couple relationship", conference kept by Mihai and Adina Stoian in 2006, in Costinesti - Romania.
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    Die Farben duften frisch und grün... Lieblich haucht der Wind um mich.

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    Gareth and I are definitely a spiritual couple. And have been since we met.

    This is not to say we have not experienced our differences. We have. But we have overcome them with our mutual faith in the Good Lord.
    Not all in life is at it appears to be.

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    I always wished that my love relationships would last forever. I still believe real love lasts forever, but relationships and love are not just the same thing.

    Sometimes it seems like it is just better to stop it and move forward...

    I guess for traditional Christians who are married before God it's much more easier to understand what a spiritual couple is, from a Christian perspective. The ritual of marriage in the Church is really helpful for that and it has its meanings.

    From my personal experience, what can I say... I believe 'God' is the same for everyone, it just has different names and different cultural forms in each culture. For me it's easier to perceive God in Nature, for example, than in a church. I don't need churches, I can feel God's presence much better in Nature, where I can feel one with Nature, where I can feel God is in everything. I use the term God as the Universal source of everything, as the essence of everything. In oriental spirituality they call it Brahman, but it's basically the same.

    I find it very interesting that many Orthodox Christian saints lived for many years in wilderness and they also found God to be everywhere in Nature. At its highest, spirituality is universal, all the realized beings just discover God is the same, they go to the same conclusions. Only the way to get there differs a little bit from one culture to another, from one religion to another. For me and my soul structure, what I call Heathen worldview, or old pre-Christian spirituality, is much more appropriate to get there. For me Heathenism means close relationship to Nature, but after years of study and discussions I found out that this close relationship with Nature is actually found in many spiritual traditions, including Orthodox Christianity, which is much closer to the pre-Christian traditions.

    As for couple relationships... I call it a sacred or a spiritual relationship when we are able to include sacredness in our relationship, to perceive ourselves as the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine. To see in him a deity, a God, and he to see in me a deity, a Goddess. To feel his Divine essence, to feel that through my loved one the Divine Love is flowing towards me.

    I believe it is a Divine Grace to love and be loved by the same person you love. It is not you or them who love, it is the Divine Love manifesting through your beings, and the source of Divine Love is infinite, so this is why I believe real love lasts forever. When you're connected to the source of Love, which is God, or the essence of everything, then love in neverending.

    Many times we fall in love but there is no reciprocity, or others fall in love with us and it is no reciprocity. Unfortunately many people also confuse love with mere sexual attraction, which is not the same thing. A relationship based just on sexual attraction, where it is not enough love, cannot last too much and it is also not a spiritual relationship. Unfortunately lots of relationships are like that, and ignorant people are then complaining and ask themselves why they didn't last... Because it wasn't enough love, of course.

    Also, the comparison with the child is a very good one. As I said, love and relationships are not the same thing. Love can last forever, if you connect to the source and let the love flow through your being, but relationships are more difficult to take care of, and they involve two people. So compatibility is also important, from my own experience, trying to be with not so compatible people, even if we loved each other very much, just cannot work forever, it's a lot of stress caused just by the differences between us, and at some point it can become unbearable. However, you can still love even when there is no more a love relationship, but it's another type of love then. So love can still last forever.

    I'm very idealistic on terms of love and relationships, I guess...

    I also asked someone, a very wise person, what can I do for my love relationship to last forever. And their answer was that I love love, or that I am in love with love, which I found out to be very accurate, after thinking many years about it.

    To be in love and to love is great, love brings you closer to God, when you let the love flow through you. Maybe we're not each time loved back, but as wise people are saying, the happiness is to love, and happiness does not rely on anything exterior to us, it's just a state of being. You can love and be happy even if you're not loved back. At some point love will come back to you... this is the divine cause and effect game...
    Die Farben duften frisch und grün... Lieblich haucht der Wind um mich.

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    "Highest Ideals" ...

    Every day has it's own plagues , Jesus said ...

    There is love only at the beginnig , since the people don't know much of the past of each other .


    Christian marriage has become a "tradition" because of clothing , songs and festivity .
    Christian marriage is seldom bound before "god" , since the couples overwhelmingly divorce after a while ,
    especially since women have equal rights in this regards .

    Women want "fun" .
    When the "fun" is over , since the money boom has declined , the relationship is over .
    Mk 10:18 What do you call me a good master, no-one is good .

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    Food for thought.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aidanmaclear
    Love is Bullshit, Arranged Marriage is Good

    "Your distant ancestors did not have a word for romantic love. They did not believe in a transcendent emotion felt between men and women that existed as a more pure form of sexual desire. The introduction of such an idea into our culture is completely foreign and likely results from a mistranslation of the Greek EROS, which means lust, and a misinterpretation of Plato. Unfortunately the idea took root as a method of expressing eros in a Church-friendly way. “I’m not like those barbarians who just want to fuck you! I just want to write you poetry and bask in your beauty!” Ugh. Malory skewered this almost as soon as it was introduced. Your wiser predecessors knew better. The Victorians, to their eternal shame, brought the idea back.

    The likelihood of pair bonding wanes as sexual options wax. We’re designed to bond the strongest to our first partner because for most of human history, there were few potential partners available. Enduring relationships are only assured by first partnership. That happens around the age of sixteen, when you’re a dumb fucking kid who is going to make some dumb fucking choices. Is it any surprise that parents and the community stepped in to make these choices on the behalf of their children? That’s the only rational way around it. The fact is, most arranged marriages are very happy. As a man, you remember being 16 years old. Think how fucking horny you felt around women, hell, just the intensity of your affection was greater- and this in a desensitized age of porn and high school girls in miniskirts. Now imagine being sixteen in 1300. You mostly saw girls at a distance, they were covered up, maybe you would share a word or two and relish your young lust. And then your wedding! Holy shit! You, as a modern, have no idea how intense the first sight and touch of a girl was back then, and how powerfully it would bond you to her.

    The other side of the coin is, it’s exactly the same for women. Modern women are similarly desensitized. From the age of 14 they are constantly receiving open and tacit advances from men, both their own ages and older. Women are attracted primarily to male power and charisma (which is latent status). Today, they are constantly bombarded by male displays of status and charisma, but in 1300, provided they were not nobility of the court, they were not. That first touch from a husband, his first dominant word, her first bath in the intensity of his lust; again, a modern woman simply can’t imagine it.

    Don’t believe me? I’ve had the opportunity to observe Amish girls ‘in the wild’. They are completely unpretentious and unjaded, their interactions with men modest and cheerful. And they look forward to their marriages with giggling anticipation. The eldest one, who was engaged, was the envy and admiration of her younger friends. She, herself, was relieved that she managed to find a husband. She was getting old after all; almost twenty. If I had known then what I do now, I would have converted immediately. You really have no idea how happy women are under the patriarchy until you’ve met Amish girls. And they work hard. Really hard. Does it crush their femininity? Not a chance. The Victorians were retards. A farm girl singing a song while she prances ankle deep through horse manure with her dress hiked a few inches up manages to be more feminine than a thousand of our dolled up sluts put together.”

    So what does a modern man do now? You’re kind of fucked. Traditional virgins are pretty thin on the ground. If you’re real young, like high school age, wife up your high school sweetheart if you’re anything less than supremely alpha. Putting a bun in the oven first will help convince her. “Extended childhood” is dead. The future belongs to men who decide what they want out of life at a very young age and then take it. Your father won’t help you become a man. (That’s what I’m for, kid.) If you’re older, you’re more screwed. You might have to settle for a woman who’s less than pure. Look at her past relationships. A girl who’s been piped out every night in a couple of long-term relationships is far better than a girl who gets drilled by a different man every month. But I’ve already written about this in Correcting Thots.

    If you’re lower status, and I don’t mean money and power but your sociosexuality, don’t settle for 30-y/o used up skanks looking to settle down. Mostly because even if you bite the bullet for the sake of future generations, she will do her worst to fuck your kids up. Pick younger undersocialized girls who are on the nerdy side. They’re rare but there are more of them than trad virgins. Must be something in the water. They’ll bond hard to you, they’re easy to mate-guard, and most of them have fiery sex drives underneath the shyness. And then make sure to raise your kids right.

    *Edited for clarity. Love is real, between family, between comrades, and between you and God. Romantic love has always been used as an excuse for adultery and as a weapon used to attack the prohibitions on illicit sex.
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    “Remember that all worlds draw to an end and that noble death is a treasure which no-one is too poor to buy.” - C. S. Lewis, The Last Battle

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    The Tantric approach of the couple relationship

    The Tantric system is one of the best systems for the modern times, in which spiritual values are forcefully being replaced by materialism and ignorance is happening almost everywhere. Tantra is the spiritual system which, having a scientific side, manages to integrate perfection and the absolute in a practical and tangible way, staying always at the level of immediate reality, instead of sterile philosophical dissertations.

    Tantra is a philosophy of life and a system of spiritual evolution, based on profound or initiatic knowledge of the fundamental laws of the Universe, a system that does not suggest denial of ignorance as being an illusion, but its replacement with adequate knowledge, based on direct and guided experience.

    Tantra is a system that efficiently combines science with spirituality, revealing the mysteries of Creation and of the Universe that appear in light of this system being structured holographically, the part being integrated in the Whole and the Whole being reflected in each of its parts. Tantra uses the study of the fundamental laws for the study of phenomena and practical knowledge in order to replace rules and dogma. Tantra is based only on direct practical knowledge. For this reason, the Tantric system is a solution for the modern man to get out of the state of anxiety regarding life, a state that makes him prefer indirect experience, experience through different means and formalities, as opposed to direct experience.

    The Tantric system considers energy as the fundamental basis. Energy is a movement born from the differences of potential. This difference of potential is actually the game of polarities, therefore it is important to approach polarity as a fundamental law. Everything in the Universe comes from the spontaneous and free game of the endless and ecstatic union between Shiva and Shakti, between consciousness and energy, masculine and feminine. In the human being, this divine game is best reflected through the force of attraction between man and woman and through the erotic dynamism that appears between them. Therefore, in the fascinating and mysterious game of the relationship between man and woman, we find all the secrets of universal dynamism, in the same way in which we find all the secrets of the galaxy condensed in the depth of atoms. For this reason, the conscious and initiatic involvement in a polar couple relationship represents more then an inevitable result of certain individual forces. It is also an expression of the divine game that structures the entire universe. For Tantric initiates, the couple relationship is seen as an open gate towards the great secrets of the universe, a chance to experience this secret directly and thus to understand it fully. The couple relationship is thus understood as the expression of the fundamental couple Shiva and Shakti, consciousness and energy. Any process, phenomenon or state is given by this divine game of energies. In order to have control over any states, phenomena or processes, it is necessary that the two fundamental polarities that support that state, phenomenon or process are balanced – the two complementary forces must be polarized by each other.

    Taken from "The spiritual couple relationship", conference kept by Mihai and Adina Stoian in 2006, in Costinesti - Romania.
    Published by Natha.net



    Die Farben duften frisch und grün... Lieblich haucht der Wind um mich.

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    Marriage? The true Christian way................

    "Fight to Resolve" Want to keep your marriage together?

    Ruth Graham once said, “A successful marriage is made up of two good forgivers.” Good conflicts will arise in your marriage. Have your disagreement and forgive. The objective is not to win. It is to resolve. If you go in it to win, you’ll lose even if you win.
    And don’t fight in front of the kids. In fact, don’t fight in front of people in general. Learn how to resolve conflict in private. And learn how to fight fair. When there are boxing matches, there are rules. There are certain things you can and cannot do to your opponent. So, when you sit down with your spouse and you’re having a disagreement, first hear them out.
    In the Proverbs we read that a fool answers a matter before he hears it (see Proverbs 18:13). When you get into these things and you’re interrupting one another, talking over one another, and yelling over one another, it is counterproductive. Instead, sit down and say, “Tell me why you are upset. Tell me what the issue is.” And then shut up and listen. You might learn something.
    You might realize that there’s a misunderstanding you can now sort out. Then again, they may make a point that’s actually valid. Maybe you can see how they perceive or understand what you’ve said or done. Maybe it came off a certain way, and you didn’t mean it that way. Say, “I am sorry. I didn’t realize—I won’t do that again.” Have a calm conversation. Communicate.
    Ephesians 4:31–32 says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you” (NLT).

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    Have You Told Her Lately?

    And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.

    —Ephesians 5:2

    In many marriages, men are spiritually passive at best. But to have a successful marriage the husband must love the wife as Christ loves the church. Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her” (NKJV). I want you to notice that the man is called to take point here. It is what God requires, and it’s not easy.
    This talks about expressing love. Women are far more social than men. They get together and start talking. Guys just kind of look at each other—especially if they have never met. I am amazed at how two girls who have never met can immediately become best friends.
    The idea is that it’s easier for a woman, generally speaking, to express affection, and show affection. They hug each other and say, “I love you.” Guys are like, “Love you, bro,” and kind of hit each other—maybe give a sort of sideways hug.
    But men are just as full of emotion as women are. We feel it. We just express it differently. So here is something: love your wife as Christ loved the church. Don’t just think it. Show it. Even better, say it. Proverbs 31 says, “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her” (verse 28 NKJV).
    Husbands, brag on your wives in front of your kids. Praise her in front of your friends. Do it in front of complete strangers. Say, “Let me tell you about my wife. She is the greatest wife ever!”
    That is something husbands should do. Show affection to your wife. Verbalize it. Compliment her. Wake up, guys! Show her you love her. This models the way that God loves the church and the church loves God.

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    Too many insecure people out there who feel they need to read books or online articles about "building perfect relationships" etc..

    You can't do this Just have confidence in yourself! If there was a universal recipe it would have been discovered centuries ago, but everyone is a unique individual and you have to trust your own intuition; sometimes improvising as you go along.

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    As someone who has been recently married, I can identify with some of the concepts in some of the articles. For example, Chlodovech's article about romantic love. In my view it's very true. In the past, unions weren't based on lust and sexual attractions. In my tradition, much of the times in the past the marriages were arranged and the couple learned to love and desire each other after marriage. There was no question of concepts like "sexual compatibility" and the like before marriage. Nonetheless, the wedding night was special. Marriages were founded on common ethno-social and spiritual elements, and of course friendship and endurance together. Physical attraction came as a result of conviving and living together. In addition, couples were united in their worship of God and respecting the concept of holy matrimony. It wasn't something you walked away from because you were suddenly bored, it was something that lasted for life.

    While my husband and I love each other romantically as well, it's not the prime foundation of our relationship. In fact, some of my acquaintances advised me not to marry because there wasn't a high degree of lust as opposed to friendship. They said I would regret it later because I don't need to marry to have a friend, or even a partner. At some point even I had a little bit confusion because the basis of my relationship didn't correspond with modern standards. Part of me wanted that novella stormy and dramatic type of love, with many events and challenges and a happy tumultuous ending. At some point, I even thought we were better more suited as friends. However, my marriage is so far very happy and after partaking in the sacrament of matrimony, after my union before God, my husband became an even more special person to me. The fact that we get along as friends and companions tells me that our marriage won't crack easily, even when we are old and wrinkly. Our definition of romanticness and intimacy is more than superficial. We've a spiritual type of bond. We see each other as a unit, not as two separate parties. By the day, my husband becomes more attractive to me and me to him. And while neither of us were virgins at the wedding, we've lead mostly conservative lifestyles until then, which we don't regret. Our dream was to start a family, and although it's a little bit late compared to my ancestors, I think the old traditional recipe is still the right way. It may not work for everyone, but each case I've experienced of similar marriages were lasting, so I've good hopes.

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