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Thread: Sexual Continence

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    Sexual Continence

    I think this topic suits well in the Indo-Germanic spirituality section, since it is based on secret spiritual teachings... which nowadays are not so secret anymore, but still not very common.

    Even if ignorant people relate this practice to the East, actually people living in the East today don't do it as a common practice, and many are even against it. It has been practiced since ancient times, and reserved just for the acknowledged and initiated ones, it has been a part of sacred rituals and secret initiations. So, going back in time so many thousands of years, I don't think practicing it means to import something foreign to European culture. It is not more foreign to Europeans as it is foreign to today's Indians, for example. Its origins are to be found very far in the past, we cannot know exactly when and where, as it has been taught as a secret initiation, for the few. So personally I would not agree with those who would say it is not European. I think it goes so far in time, at the origins of all Europeans, so that it can be considered European, why not?

    Let's see what is all about:

    Making love! Such a wonderful thing...
    Yes, it is...but making love not sex...!
    Sex is good as well, but love makes us feel and even be better, more beautiful, generous, powerful – even like gods, maybe. It’s not for nothing that they say if love is endless the impossible shall be easily possible.

    Here we may wonder what makes the difference between love and sex. There is quite a huge difference, indeed, which is love itself. It’s a wonderful thing to be in love and to be loved, but there is a peak of love, which is making love. This means, when love is missing, despite any chemistry – that is sex, and when love is there, to make love is a wonderful achievement and top of love itself.

    We all want to love and to be loved, many of us may wish to make love, if possible, no matter when, where, how long, and no matter the age, but, of course not to whoever and however. For, there are things to be learnt even in making love.

    Well, is it possible no matter where, when, how long, and is it tremendously wonderful and amazing? Well, it is possible by means of the sexual continence.

    The idea came from the East and has been applied along ages by the Indian tantric philosophy adepts, by the Chinese Taoists and those from the adjacent countries. This used to be a great secret of life how to make your love flourish and by making love to become happy and strong. Reaching the West, this love practice – consisting in sexual continence – attained a quick spread, particularly during the last decades. There are lots of people to who have discovered sexual continence in lovemaking and followed it. Why do you think they did? Well, for it is worth.

    The advantages in practicing sexual continence:
    - it awakens a huge number of orgasms (both for man and woman) and incredibly increasing pleasure;
    - a state of appetite and eternal longing for the lover, they seem not to get enough of one another;
    - sexual longevity;
    - regeneration and rejuvenation;
    - increased vitality;
    - elimination of feebleness, turpitude after the lovemaking;
    - psychic balance, increase of creativity, awakening of intelligence;
    - increase of charming personality both for the man and the woman;
    - elimination of any unwelcome pregnancy;
    - considerable decrease of the woman’s period and of the awkward subjacent effects;
    - many women are finally aware of what orgasm is (it’s known for a fact that women need almost 30 minutes erotic stimulation whereas the man is done within 10 minutes in most of the cases)
    - breasts natural enlargement for women.

    Moreover we get a chance to reach back to ourselves as spiritual beings in a superior understanding of love and life.

    What is sexual continence, then?

    This mainly means sperm retention inside the man’s body, without releasing it by ejaculations or pollutions, and for the woman, no explosive juice during orgasm and decreased period secretions.

    Why should we hold back our sperm? Since very old times, people have noticed that the sperm a man ca ejaculate in a lifetime is a given amount, which can even stay in the body at old age, according to the wise way it is eliminated. There are undeniable cases known of men that have been fertile even after 100. We normally can see that the andropause (sexual rest that man is forced to by the end of his life) is highly delayed if the man had carefully weighted his sperm resource. As usually, once the sperm resource is over and therefore no longer present into the body, vitality, memory, creativity, physical strength seriously decrease and the subject is obviously prey to the old age. The witted instead only see their age when they look into the mirror and they have no worries then, for they still feel in power.

    A woman that practices love with sexual continence gets much more sex-appeal and her beauty and brightness often last for incredibly long time. The prostitutes, on the contrary have too many juice orgasms and they quickly get worn out, lose their beauty and fall prey to physical and psychic decadence more than any other women.

    There actually is a quite close relationship between the sexual potential inside the body and the inner force of a man, as it’s known for a fact that all men with special inner force also dispose of strong sexual potential. Things have been pushed that far that in order to attain enough force, famous men or women (businessmen, leaders, politicians, militaries) who are not aware of the sexual continence seldom perform sexual intercourses. They instinctively chose abstinence – a partial solution, by far – as they considered between making love more often without continence and career, they would rather go for the career.

    However, abstinence could not stand for a solution, because men often attempt to lose sexual potential while asleep, by pollution and women by abundant and painful menstruation.
    Therefore the sexual potential is a physiological gift by birth and it can be used more or less wisely and be consumed sooner or later. Here we realize we really need to know how sexual continence can be attained.


    How is it possible yet to make love no ejaculation or no squirt (in the case of the women)?


    It all starts from the scientific fact that orgasm and ejaculation – for the man – or the specific squirt – for the woman – are not necessarily connected. There are many situations known when orgasm is plenary experienced without the physiological squirt. The scientific perspective suggested and proved as an explanation to this phenomenon the theory of the biological transmutation of matter for low energies, even inside the human body. This shows that man’s sperm and woman’s sexual fluids can turn into energy inside the human body, according to Einstein’s famous formula E=mc2. The calculation shows that such energy is huge and it stays inside our body at different levels, which secures the above-mentioned advantages.

    Whether we have time or not and can read and check the scientific theory of this extraordinary physiological aspect, fact is that it exists and we can directly know it by practicing sexual continence. It’s the best reply for the sceptical: let’s see for ourselves how it functions. For it is really worth!

    This has been known for quite some time and been often practiced in secret. For there have been kings and leaders looking for charm and power; there have been courtesans and men after a sexual glory, trying to impress their lovers with their sexual performances. But there have been some others who wisely took the sexual power as a valuable secret for life harmonization.

    These days, the famous rock star Sting admitted after some insistence that by sexual continence he may even make love to his wife for eight hours, having just a lunch break after four hours. He says he thereby attained extraordinary results, all the more his relationship with his wife is much more consonant now.
    Also, Raquel Welch, an extraordinary beautiful actress, has successfully practiced sexual continence in couple relationship and therefore admitted that part of her charm and her power to live a consonant life is due to this practice.

    How to do it?

    The point is the so-called sexual energy control, that we can feel proportional to the erotic feeling intensity. The control basically consists of obstructing man’s ejaculation and woman’s squirting by all means. Besides, sexual energy control i.e. sexual continence can be easily performed by a woman and it barely requires basic training. Usually the woman only has to pursue no squirt orgasm, which would lead energies downside and trigger uterus spasms. The woman can mentally direct the energy of pleasure to the upper levels of the being, and the energy will spread in pleasant waves in the whole body.What makes great importance is the common sense and the rightful measure in all our actions. Although there are some rules, quite valuable in fact, nothing must be taken mechanically but adapted to what we are feelings and to the situations.After 10 minutes foreplay at least, slow penetrations, are kindly made to relish the ineffable charm of the lovemaking and the beauty of the beloved, while paying attention to the increasing sexual energy. We shall feel the woman’s sexual energies absorption by the man’s sexual organ, as well as by the whole contact area of the two sexual organs. The sexual tension is ever higher and we feel closer and closer to the juice point…

    It’s now time to:
    -stop;
    -hold on or suddenly move out (according to the excitation degree and to our training)
    -stop breathing in or out;
    -we strongly shrink the anus (the muscle controlling defecation);
    -we strongly shrink the urinary muscle (as if we want to prevent a strong need to urinate);
    -strongly shrink the pubis-coccyx muscle (which also shrinks when we want not to urinate, despite a strong need to; this muscle is situated between anus and sex);
    -strongly shrink the muscles down the penis or the vagina and clitoris muscles;
    THEREFORE THE ENTIRE PELVIAN PLEX IS TIGHTENED SITUATED BETWEEN THE ANUS AND THE PENIS (or the clitoris in the case of the women).
    -we strongly squeeze our fists and teeth (but not too strong);
    -we tighten our back;
    -we push our tongue back stuck to the palate (obviously do not swallow it)
    -we imagine in our mind some energy in the lower part of the body, concentrated in the genitals area, which we mentally direct to the upper part of our body, along the spine; we shall mostly focus it in the middle of the forehead.
    These actions are supposed to be taken all together, with maximum intensity, or just part of them, according to the need and according to how efficient we consider them, for 5-10 seconds or as long as we please, until the sexual tension decreases at some level that affords the sexual energy control.

    Then, we resume penetration, slowly rather than quickly as much as we feel convenient for the sexual energy control. If considered necessary we may stay motionless for some time and only move when the erection lessens, then we stop again (still in contact). We keep feeling the pleasure of the woman’s sexual secretions absorbed through the man’s sexual organ, as well as through the entire contact area between the two sexual organs.

    We shall discover exquisite joy that we couldn’t have even guessed by slow penetrations or by stops (yet in contact).
    Such contractions and mental focus can be performed for long whiles, still in motion (i.e. not only during the crisis moments). This will help preventing the near limit situation, drawing to a dangerous moment for the sexual energy control.
    In case the man has misevaluated it and reached a point off control, there is the last chance: the three fingers technique, which implies to utterly press three fingers along the urethras in between the anus and the genitals. The contractions and the mental focus will keep going. Ejaculation can be stopped in this way or the sperm amount that still might be eliminated is much smaller.

    The postlude is highly important and always required, after which the lovers should stay apart from each other, as far as possible during 7 hours at least.

    Therefore, a special chemistry may emerge between the two lovers and they will be more attracted to each other when they next meet.

    Serious training for sexual continence can be attained by long and firm contractions of the anus muscle as long as possible, also by practicing the abdomen retraction and the intermittent urination. The latter can be done every time we urinate, by breaking the urinary jet as much as possible, by firmly shrinking the urinary muscle for at least 1-3 seconds in between two jets. The urinary muscle and the pubis-coccyx muscle can be shrunk even out of the urinating process (during any day work), which engenders a quite pleasant energising feeling inside the whole body.
    in doing so we shall reach incredible sexual performances. But we shouldn’t perform it like some sport, using our new abilities in order to impress the sexual partner by actions that lack love. Sexual continence is an instrument, some ability for us to satisfy our life and the one we love. In acting without love, the being will decay and waste the gifts and abilities that had been discovered.

    All the above physical actions are highly efficient particularly if we display firm mental focus; it may even be possible by simple mind focus to attain the sexual energy control, without using any of the above techniques.
    Therefore, let us pursue making love only if love is there. Let us love as much as possible from the bottom of our heart. Besides, sexual continence is much easier to be accomplished when one loves and one is loved.
    Just as we have said, what really matters is the common sense and the right measure in all our actions. Let’s keep in mind that a master owes his wisdom to practice!


    An exceptional technique!

    After lovemaking, in order to feel better and fully fructify the effects of the continence, it is worth practicing as much as possible the abdominal retraction technique. Stages of execution:
    -standing in a bending position, hands on the knees;
    -to begin we take a deep breath in, then we try to breathe out as much as possible;
    - we firmly shrink the diaphragm and we strongly retract upside and backside the belly organs, which will go as if sticking close to the spine; as strange as it may seem, the technique will be the better accomplished the more we succeed this retraction. Do not worry, no matter how unusual it may seem, this position has exclusively good effects;
    -during this retraction, we focus just like we do during the lovemaking, so that the lower energy should go up to the superior parts of the body, mostly to the head level, in the middle of the forehead;
    -at the end of the retraction, we relax the diaphragm, and release the belly organs downside: this is the only moment we may breathe in; next we may breathe at ease and resume the technique immediately or after a few more breaths.
    For serious effects we must intensely repeat the abdominal retraction technique, for at least 30 times. The technique is recommended at least 30 minutes before lunch.
    The technique is not recommended in case of ulcer, colitis, appendicitis, when it may be painful.

    Source


    I know it is much more difficult for men than for women to do it, but with practice and with love and dedication it is much more easy.
    Die Farben duften frisch und grün... Lieblich haucht der Wind um mich.

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    I'm all for taking the time and retaining control, but this seems to be taking it a bit too far. Males have an increased risk of prostate cancer by never having a release.

    "An 18-year Harvard study of nearly 30,000 health professionals determined that risk of prostate cancer was reduced by 20 percent for men who ejaculated 21 times a month, compared to men who ejaculated four to seven times a month.

    A similar Australian study found the risk was reduced by 36 percent when men ejaculated seven times a week."
    Source

    It’s now time to:
    -stop;
    -hold on or suddenly move out (according to the excitation degree and to our training)
    -stop breathing in or out;
    -we strongly shrink the anus (the muscle controlling defecation);
    -we strongly shrink the urinary muscle (as if we want to prevent a strong need to urinate);
    -strongly shrink the pubis-coccyx muscle (which also shrinks when we want not to urinate, despite a strong need to; this muscle is situated between anus and sex);
    -strongly shrink the muscles down the penis or the vagina and clitoris muscles;
    THEREFORE THE ENTIRE PELVIAN PLEX IS TIGHTENED SITUATED BETWEEN THE ANUS AND THE PENIS (or the clitoris in the case of the women).
    -we strongly squeeze our fists and teeth (but not too strong);
    -we tighten our back;
    -we push our tongue back stuck to the palate (obviously do not swallow it)
    -we imagine in our mind some energy in the lower part of the body, concentrated in the genitals area, which we mentally direct to the upper part of our body, along the spine; we shall mostly focus it in the middle of the forehead.These actions are supposed to be taken all together, with maximum intensity, or just part of them, according to the need and according to how efficient we consider them, for 5-10 seconds or as long as we please, until the sexual tension decreases at some level that affords the sexual energy control.
    That's quite a list of tasks to go through in the heat of the moment. Practicing kegel contractions and balancing the pelvic floor works just fine.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ţoreiđar View Post
    I'm all for taking the time and retaining control, but this seems to be taking it a bit too far. Males have an increased risk of prostate cancer by never having a release.
    The idea of sexual continence is the transmutation and sublimation of the sexual fluids. By practice you can do that successfully, and nothing wrong can happen. Only retention of the fluids without transmutation and sublimation can indeed lead to many diseases and even to mental problems, see prolonged abstinence for example. But with transmutation and sublimation of the fluids, it's a completely different situation.

    Transmutation represents the transforming of a chemical element into another chemical element, accompanied by a huge release of energy. Transmutation is produced by radioactive disintegration or by a nuclear reaction which is possible even at biological levels at low temperature.

    Sexual biological transmutation consists of the transforming of sexual “material” into energy that can be sublimated, leading to various refined energies according to the person’s intentions. This transmutation is possible due to the retention of sexual “material” made effervescent through control during intense erotic experiences.

    Since there is biological transmutation of the sexual potential, the original sexual impulse is transformed into a new, superior energy. This transformation represents the sublimation process that is produced by the conscious control of sexual functions.

    See more here
    Sublimation is the inner movement of the energy created through biological transmutation at the superior levels of the body. This energy movement is progresses level by level (power centre by power centre) and it modifies the frequency vibrations. In this way it provokes specific effects at every level. Through sublimation, sexual energy is directed to other non-sexual aspects of man such as vitality, psychic, mental or spiritual areas.

    We can do an analogy between man’s subtle alchemy, which is represented by biological transmutation and sublimation of the released energies, and in the generation of electricity in a hydroelectric power plant. Water from a large reservoir is released, putting turbines into motion and so becomes a continuous source of electricity. Analogically speaking, the water from the reservoir represents sexual “materials” (sperm and ovum). The release of water represents the conscious control of sexual pleasure during lovemaking and the transformation of the water’s potential energy into kinetic energy is the transmutation phase that generates huge energy. Then the mechanical energy of the turbines is transformed into electrical energy. This is the sublimation process, through which a type of energy is transformed into another energy with a higher vibration frequency. In the same manner as electrical energy is transported by high tension lines in order to be used according to need, sexual energy is transported through energetic channels to different levels of man.

    More here
    Also:

    The control of ejaculation is fundamental for sexual continence

    Many Tantric and Taoist texts speak about the control of ejaculation. The first image that they usually awaken in the reader is that of a tap that is turned off or of a perineal and genital contraction with the goal of retaining the energy. It is not about forcefully switching off the natural flow, nor about controlling or retaining an energy that knows very well where it wants to reach, or to stop by any means a process that has already started.
    Western statistics show that the time a man needs in order to reach the state of orgasmic discharge (ejaculation) is about 10 minutes, but this period has shorten in the last years because of nervous stress, inadequate eating, alcohol, cigarettes, coffee. All these produce a considerable decrease in man’s virility. For women things are completely different. The time a woman needs to reach the first state of orgasm in lovemaking is of minimum 20 minutes. Connecting the 2 situations, we understand why it is difficult for a woman to experience a state of satisfaction and amorous fulfillment in the couple if the man is not continent. Besides, the woman has the natural ability to control the discharge of the sexual potential, which many times for the man is extremely difficult. And for this reason it is very important that this process of controlling the sexual energy by the man is understood and applied as well as possible.

    In reality, the authentic principle of non-ejaculation is not to block the energies that are already moving, but to do so that they don’t go towards ejaculation. In other words, this means the expansion of the energetic charge inside our being, directing it to the head area, so that the energy that accumulates during the erotic excitement does not reach that degree of pressure that makes it impossible to hold. If you reach this point, the energy comes out together with the sperm, like the steam through an emitting valve.

    This is a true energetic opening, doubled by an emotional opening. Here the metaphor of a famous Zen master fits. When he was asked “How can one control the mind?”, he replied: “The best way to control a bull is to give him enough space to graze. The same thing is valid for you too. If you want to reach perfect silence in meditation, do not allow yourself impressed by the different images you will find in your head. Let them come and go then, they will be under your control. But this is not so easy. When you will try to achieve a state of inner peace, you will not succeed to remain seated. And when you will try to feel that nothing disturbs you, your effort will not be what you need. The only effort that can help you is to focus on exhaling and inhaling. We call this focusing, but focusing your attention on one precise goal is not the real purpose of meditation. The real purpose is to see things as they are and to allow things to develop as they should develop. This attitude is the one that will allow you to have everything under control. Meditating means to open our little mind and, because of this, focusing is just an instrument that will help you perceive the mind bigger or the mind that is everywhere.”

    This principle of “mind control” can be applied also for controlling the ejaculation. In this case it is about not letting ourselves impressed by the sensations that we feel in the genital organs, to let them come and go without trying to calm them and to simply follow the rhythm of our breath. The more intensely we focus our attention on inhaling and exhaling, the easier it is for us to control the sexual energy. But this takes time, it cannot be reached just by applying a “fast technique”, because being conscious mentally and being conscious of our own sexual energy is actually the same thing. The Tantric texts recommend an intense, perseverant and adequate hatha-yoga training, both for subtle purification (of the energetic channels on which the sexual energy will be directed) as well as to learn the correct mechanisms of transmutation, sublimation and control.

    When we block the ejaculation, it is not necessary that this results in moving the energetic charge to other places, at the level of the entire body, but to enter in the same states of meditation. In fact, it is more likely that such an effort will only add more tension to that which already exists in us. The entire secret of holding the sperm is to relax more and more and to follow with our mind the direction of the energy through our physical body along the channels nature had given it, in order for it to reach wherever it wants to. The man should be completely relaxed and totally conscious of what goes on inside him. The sexual energy stays balanced in the triangle formed by the excitation, relaxation and consciousness, which, starting from the sexual centre, expands in the pelvis and in the entire body.

    In many recent books on Tantra, there is a certain confusion between the psycho-physical state and the non-ejaculation phenomenon. When we come close to the superior levels of orgasm, we enter meditative states, where our entire being is so absorbed that we don’t feel any stimulus for ejaculation. It is no longer necessary to expel the accumulated energy, as it has found other ways of expansion. And when we will not “hold” anything, we will simply be so relaxed concerning our energetic charge that this will expand by itself, without focusing in the genital organs. It will go somewhere else, rising to the level of the superior centres (chakras). This phenomenon is known as sublimation.

    Similarly, when we are absorbed in meditation, we don’t feel any impulse to move and we feel very good and relaxed in that situation, but the ability to remain still is only the effect and not the cause of this disposition that the meditation makes possible. On the contrary, if we come back from work very tensed and we sit on a chair, forcing ourselves to stay there for half an hour without moving, hoping to enter a state of meditation, it is most likely that the result will be only that we will become even more rigid.

    In the oriental vision, living the state of ordinary orgasm (with discharge) leads to limited availability in time, to exhaustion, to loss of vitality, it decreases the affective and mental power, brings sleepiness. Excess in this direction will inevitably lead to instinctive rejection of the loved person or of yourself. On the contrary, applying successfully the control of the sexual energy leads to an amplification of the amorous pleasure, of the state of inner fulfilment. A state of vital regeneration and rejuvenation appears. It is produced the elimination of tiredness, the amplification of mental capacities, the awakening of personal charm that will be noticed by all those around us. It is a process of expansion of the entire being, not just of sexuality and it is a process that starts with the awakening of a serious interest for the self and with a choice – the choice to take the responsibility of our own virility and well-being.

    What do you choose?
    Source
    Theory may sound a bit complicated, but practice is the solution!


    Quote Originally Posted by Ţoreiđar View Post
    That's quite a list of tasks to go through in the heat of the moment. Practicing kegel contractions and balancing the pelvic floor works just fine.
    Well, that's a good beginning! You can add more in time, step by step, and after a while it will be so easy, it will come naturally to go through all that list of tasks. Patience and lots of practice, but it's worth the effort.
    Die Farben duften frisch und grün... Lieblich haucht der Wind um mich.

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    Hmmm. It all sounds so kinky to me. I love it!

    Oh, and Gareth doesn't ever have to worry about not getting enough sexercise when I'm around.

    Oh, oh! Did i go too far?
    Not all in life is at it appears to be.

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    The art of Sexual Continence



    In the Yogic tradition one of the five fundamental moral virtues to be cultivated on the path of spiritual transformation is called Brahmacharya. This implies control, temperance, self restraint in a certain direction and it particularly refers to the control over the sexual energy. This includes the perfect control over the sexual fluids, for they are nothing other than the condensed physical form of gigantic, life giving/life creating energies that exist in our being.

    All genuine spiritual systems have recognized the paramount importance of preserving these precious and powerful forms of energy or ‘liquid light’. The sexual energy is the strongest creative force in our being, clearly perceivable when we are strongly sexually aroused. It is like a wild horse which needs to be brought under control. Buddha (who took the ascetic Spiritual path of renunciation) has said that if there was any energy stronger than that of the sexual force he would have not been able to reach the enlightenment.

    Brahmacharya has been translated by many yogic traditions (those which lean towards renunciation) as celibacy, or the total abstaining from any sexual activity in order to preserve the sexual fluids and use this energy for the spiritual growth. Luckily there is another way of observing brahmacharya whilst not being having to renounce the sexual life; this is the art and ancient discipline of sexual continence.

    Tantra Yoga promotes the conscious, lucid, fully controlled and detached use of the energies of the phenomenal world in order to reach superior states of consciousness. It recognizes that the biggest reservoir of potential energy accessible for the human being who wants to realize his spiritual nature is sexual energy. Instead of fighting against it and suppressing it, Tantra teaches people how to use it wisely.

    The art of Sexual Continence implies the fully conscious control over the sexual functions; to make love but without ejaculation or any explosive discharge in the man or woman.

    Sexual desire and pleasure are awakened and amplified to a great extent but then the sexual energy has to be preserved in the aura so we can use it for spiritual purposes. This means that the sexual potential should not be uselessly wasted. The sexual fluids should not be ejaculated because they contain a colossal creative power (in the ejaculation of sperm there are 250 million sperm cells, each one having the potential to make life).


    Orgasm and Ejaculation are two separate processes


    It is a huge mistake people make when they presume that ejaculation and orgasm equal one and the same thing. They are in fact two separate processes, only they happen very close together in time. The sexual fluids represent the fuel upon which the states of orgasm depend. When they are uselessly lost (ejaculated), the states of orgasm are cut short accompanied by a huge loss of vitality. If the lovers learn instead to make love with sexual continence this allows the attainment of an endless number of orgasms by both lovers (at the same time or separately).


    Orgasm


    The Classical Tantric texts describe the state of tantric orgasm as a state of expansion, fusion and awareness of the unity and wholeness of the being. A profound state of orgasm is beyond the ordinary boundaries of the mind. The orgasm is so sought and desired not only because it is an extremely pleasant and intense sensation, but because it draws us out of time and offers the opportunity to perceive the taste of eternity, to experience states of cosmic consciousness, to expand ourselves endlessly. It changes our perspective regarding the surrounding reality.

    Knowing all this, an aware and spiritual person can reach the summit of spiritual life, the summits that others reach only through prayer and meditation. This achievement implies experiencing love fusion with perfect continence, full transfiguration and spiritual emotion.

    Thus, the orgasm is not confined to the genital area and it has nothing to do with the reflex of ejaculation (which simply cuts short the state of orgasm). In order to have multiple orgasms and experience the erotic ecstasy we need to learn how to make the sexual energy circulate in the entire body, and this means preserving it.


    The approach to our sexuality represents a veritable art


    This art implies a total awareness of the physiological impulses in making love. When the excitation focused initially in the genital area begins to spread in the entire body, it starts to rise to the head area. In this moment, called the “point of no return” (which needs to be avoided) there is a loss of the conscious control, and a series of genital muscle reflex contractions occur, which result in ejaculation in men and the explosive loss of orgasmic secretions in women. This is like a genuine electrical “black out”, a kind of losing the connection with the energy source, followed by a false relaxation, which is merely the product of exhaustion. Because of the huge loss of energy that results after the ejaculation, any erotic stimulation, meant to produce a new orgasm, is impossible in the next few minutes. This stagnation period is longer in the case of men than in the case of women.

    Therefore, we can understand why the Tantric wise men said that while ordinary man decays and is exhausted because of uncontrolled sexuality, the continent yogi, knowing these secrets, will become elevated and will be happier. At the same time, he will progress spiritually through lovemaking, which, instead of making him tired, will regenerate him, allowing him to keep his vitality and inner mental power almost untouched. Indeed, Sexual continence was a guarded secret in ancient times reserved for the nobility of the Orient for granting longevity, health and force.

    The human being, who will follow this advice, will thus be able to transform ordinary sexuality into a sacred act. Following the Tantric path, we also notice with delight that the experiences during the lovemaking with continence are more intense and more durable than in the case of lovemaking without continence. In continent lovemaking, we have the impression we can stay like this for hours, we are still full of energy and subtle sensations, peaceful and calm in the outside. Peace will come by itself, it will fill us,it will feed us and it will give us a very concrete, very profound sensation of being, feeling united with ourselves and with the loved being. At the end of the lovemaking we will reach a profound state of intimacy and the accumulated energy will stay for a long period of time.


    Alchemizing the Sexual Force


    The art of Sexual Continence does not mean only preserving the sexual fluids by refraining from ejaculation. It also involves the alchemizing of the sexual energy into superior forms of energy in our being. Being a superior form of eroticism, sexual continence permits the biological transmutation of the creative sexual potential into superior forms of vital, psychic, mental, spiritual energies, gearing some ineffable inner sublimation processes.

    Through the successful realization of sexual continence by both of the lovers the sexual experience becomes plenary, the exhaustion and sleepy sensation which follows ejaculation disappears, the woman becomes capable of attaining the state of orgasm as many times she wants, and the couple’s harmony and happiness is amplified.

    Tantra has found that sexual continence is the way to achieve the deepest most enduring happiness in a couple. Within sexual continence, an absolutely necessary aspect, without which the two lovers cannot attain pure spirituality, is transfiguration.

    Source: ATMAN Online Yoga Academy
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    Learning Sexual Continence

    Learning sexual continence is a kind of leitmotif in a couple relationship. It comes over and over again.We cannot say that in a couple relationship we learn sexual continence, because it is not something that you learn once and that is it. It is something that becomes perfect, it is something that takes us to extraordinary experiences and we can say that in a couple relationship the two lovers must constantly learn and deepen the state of sexual continence. In this way we start learning better and better how to make the other one happy in many aspects, which we did not even suspect in the beginning.

    Learning sexual continence has another clear effect – the game of polarities. In the couple relationship it is extremely important to manifest this game of polarities. It is one of the fundamental lessons of the couple relationships. When we make love with continence and we aim to have this state of continence and to make it perfect, we deepen the polarization in the couple. The man becomes more and more man and the woman becomes more and more woman. Through this subtle exchange between the two lovers, also the polar aspects within their being is awakened, thus they reach the state of androgyny.

    Suppose we engage in a couple relationship and the man has a mediocre virility and the woman has a mediocre femininity, and after one year they notice they are almost at the same level, the aspect regarding sexual continence had stagnated. If, looking back, they notice that their state of masculinity and femininity has amplified a lot, this shows that their erotic game has a good sexual continence. They have improved it. It is very practical. The attraction between the two lovers is maintained if the difference of their potentials increases – he amplifies his masculinity and she amplifies her femininity. This is done by deepening sexual continence. If we consider this properly, we can attract miracles, even if not from the beginning, because at the beginning things are new, we are overwhelmed of so many wonderful elements. If we continue to improve our sexual continence, the miracles will appear in time – we will notice that after 5 years the attraction between us is much stronger then in the beginning. After 10 years, the attraction is infinitely stronger then in the beginning. There is a huge difference of potential that increases very much, it is visible. If we do not keep ourselves in a continuous state of perfecting sexual continence, we should not be surprised that after a few years, according to the level we started, the attraction begins to diminish.

    The orgasmic ability of the couple is extremely important.
    Usually, masculine continence is reduced to avoiding ejaculation. This is only the first step in being continent. It is a fundamental step, because without avoiding the discharge we cannot even talk about continence, but continence implies the ability of the two lovers to experience both individually as well as together, states of cosmic orgasm, of ecstasy, by experiencing that beneficial creative void that manifests in very special moment of hiatus in the moment of orgasm. This is very important, because, especially men know this, there is not the required clarity to deepen continence completely – meaning, men’s orgasmic capacity to experience repetitively the state of sublime cosmic orgasm without discharge.

    Men usually say that they like it very much, they like it when their lover has orgasm and they feel her expansion: “I am happy to give her this happiness”. As Grieg says: “The ultimate happiness of the tantric is to make his lover extremely happy and the ultimate happiness of the tantric woman is to make her lover happy.” Personal practice is very important and avoiding ejaculation without the ability to improve continence so that there is the possibility to experience the multiple orgasm, or the orgasm on the higher chakras or the cosmic orgasm is a beginning stage and does not represent a progress regarding sexual continence. The dangers are great in this direction, especially in the case of man. Without realising, they become nostalgic for the states they once had and which now they do not find anymore.

    This is an illusion, when they say that now they preserve their energy, but as long as these subconscious impurities grow and are fed with the frustrations of the man that never reaches a state of orgasm, not comparable to the state of orgasm he had before, but even bigger, much stronger and more fulfilling, all these states of unconscious frustrations will nourish specific dissatisfactions, which the respective man has in his subconscious and which can be different. They can amplify lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem, stupid ideas such as: tantra is not so good, let the man who actually has 100 orgasms speak, all my friends are the same and in our men talk we conclude that yes, it is very good, we make love for 2-3-5-7 hours, but we do not reach the state of orgasm and everybody is happy with the possibility that ejaculation is avoided. This is extremely necessary, ejaculation must be suspended completely, but it is very important that both lovers reach these truly fundamental states.

    Taken from "The spiritual couple relationship", conference kept by Mihai and Adina Stoian in 2006, in Costinesti - Romania.
    Published by Natha.net



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    Mantak Chia is an expert in the field of sexual continence and working with sexual energies, too... Here are some good videos regarding sexual continence, especially for men, emphasizing the difference between orgasm and ejaculation, and also techniques for men to control their sexual energy:





    Of course there are more useful videos out there... totally worth watching, both for men and women!

    For example this one:

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