Nuts about Blondes
It's an age-old battle.
Brunettes and blondes have a way of getting in each other’s hair and have done it faithfully for as long as we can remember. Despite being the butt of men’s room jokes for their supposed duh-ness, light-haired women have inarguably triggered the male imagination and, of course, everything else.
No surprise then that the British men’s magazine Nuts recently announced its list of 25 sexiest blondes.
From that list, we present the top ten who are guaranteed to stop your breath.
Wipe your bifocals. Sit back. And keep a glass of water handy.
Text: Bijoy Venugopal
Design: Uday Kuckian
Photographs: Getty Images
Spidey’s girl
It’s not every evening that one gets to kiss a superhero dangling upside down. And for that Mary Jane Watson, seen here in real-life as Kirsten Dunst, finishes at Number Ten.
The 22 year old from New Jersey started her film career at age six with an uncredited role in Woody Allen’s Oedipus Wrecks in the three-segment drama New York Stories (Francis Ford Coppola and Martin Scorsese directed the other two).
She burst into the big picture playing an arachnid superhero’s love-interest in Spider-Man (2002). Before she reappeared in the sequel two years later, she had creditable performances in Mona Lisa Smile (2003) and Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (2004).
Girl next door
She always puts her right foot first while boarding a plane.
It may be superstition, but Elisha Cuthbert used to be a foot model.
The Canadian became America's sweetheart playing Kim, Special Agent Jack Bauer's (Kiefer Sutherland) daughter in the hit television series 24. She is top-billed in the romantic comedy The Girl Next Door, where she plays a gorgeous neighbour to a high school senior (Emile Hirsch) who discovers, amid hiccups after they fall in love, that she used to be porn star.
The actress, who speaks fluent French thanks to a childhood spent in Montreal, also appeared in Love Actually (2003) as American Goddess Carol-Anne.
'I can fix a fan belt and change brakes,' the 22 year old, who began her career as a correspondent for the television series Popular Mechanics for Kids, said once. In 1997 she caught the eye of then US First Lady Hillary Clinton, who invited her to Washington, DC.
The blonde bombshell will soon be seen in House Of Wax, due in October.
Before you start googling for her phone number, it pays to remember that in June she was engaged to boyfriend Trace Ayala, personal assistant to Justin Timberlake.
Touch o’ kink
Chances are you haven’t watched most of Jenna Jameson’s movies in a multiplex, munching popcorn and snuggling against the one you love.
Maybe the title of her new book should give you an idea of her career. It’s called — time to take a sip from the glass we asked you to keep handy — How To Make Love Like A Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale.
This April Jameson turned 30, and that perhaps explains the autobiography. Show business wasn’t too far away for one born in Las Vegas, and she hit the arc lights early, carving out a shapely career with stints in show dancing, nude modelling, and finally, in the porn film industry, where among other laurels, she got on Howard Stern’s 1997 film Private Parts.
There’s something about…
Cameron Diaz.
Shut your eyes and listen to the voice of Princess Fiona and you can imagine a full head of wispy blonde hair. Precisely why, despite all the mushy cuteness, you can’t help gasping when she morphs into a pea-green ogress in Shrek.
Ever since she had men falling for, over and off the edge for her in There’s Something About Mary (1998), the San Diego born actress has kept the grapevine buzzing. In 1998, and again in 2002, People magazine named the star of Charlie’s Angels (2000) as one of the world’s 50 most beautiful people.
To top, she’s a natural blonde, which means — now read this aloud, girls — no hair colour.
Among other eccentricities, 32-year-old Diaz is known to wash her face only with Evian spring water. She sprang into the headlines last November after a photographer tried to blackmail her with topless photos allegedly taken in a 1992 shoot.
Diaz, who had a memorable outing as Jenny Everdeane in Martin Scorsese’s period drama Gangs Of New York, was reportedly paid a whopping $10 million for lending her voice to the character of Princess Fiona in the animation classic Shrek, making her one of Hollywood's highest paid stars.
Hotel hottie
Chances are you first heard of Paris Hilton in a mysterious little e-mail that popped into your inbox while you were looking the other way. And maybe you ignored it, thinking it was just another free holiday scam (you know, ‘Visit Paris, stay at the Hilton for free’ sort of thing).
Fact: Paris Hilton is indeed the heiress daughter of Hilton hotel tycoons Rick and Kathy Hilton.
Fiction: She takes her name from the French capital, where she was born. Nope. She was, in fact, born in New York.
Now, about the e-mail. Hilton, 23, who has been linked with several toy boys including actor Leonardo DiCaprio and Backstreet Boys singer Nick Carter, soared to fame after an amateur video of her sexual exploits with estranged boyfriend Rick Solomon found its way all over the Internet last year.
Hilton, who has played minor Hollywood roles and has announced her plans to make a music album, will be seen on screen in the under-production horror thriller House Of Wax.
Page Three Pet
Truth be told, it was hard to locate a picture of Michelle Marsh suitable for safe viewing. This one here, where she is seen with a cutout of English soccer sweetheart Wayne Rooney, is as good as it gets.
Proclaimed the all-new, all-natural Samantha Fox for obvious reasons, Britain’s hot new 21-year-old Page Three girl, who can also croon a tune, has been making eyes pop out since the London Daily Star celebrated her as the No 1 Megababe of 2003. She also did topless numbers in guy magazines like FHM and Ice.
The Royal Air Force’s British Harrier GR7 ground crew adopted Marsh as the squadron sweetheart.
Time to refill that glass of water?
Naughtier than thou
She’s a former nurse, and ended her status as long-time on-off girlfriend of British television host John Leslie in March. Now Abi Titmuss hosts an adult television show.
Introducing her new show on UK’s Television X last year, she cooed, ‘Nobody does it naughtier.’
Weird though it may sound, Titmuss has been booted out of raunchy shows in the past on allegations of unbecoming sexual conduct.
Magazine columnists in the UK have also publicly run her down. That she still finds favour with British men is obvious from her high rating, at No 4, on Nuts magazine.
Wedding belle
Until a couple of years ago she was not a girl and not yet a woman. But what did Britney Spears do wrong to deserve third place?
It’s not exactly the best of times for the pop tart. One, she has been hobbling about on a bad knee. Two, the Republicans, angry that the blonde singer has been asked to perform at George W Bush’s bash at Madison Square Garden, have sworn not to vote for her.
And now Ms Spears’ fans are antsy as she plans a Kabbalah wedding (thank you, Madonna?) with dancer Kevin Federline. Her producers have reportedly snuck images suggesting her wedding into her new video Prerogative.
Don’t forget, in a drunken tizzy in January, she once said ‘I do’ with childhood friend Jason Alexander, and called off the wedding in a few hours.
What will she say this time?
‘Oops, I did it again’?
Swede and sultry
At 30, this former Playboy model is proof that age ain’t nothin’ but a number.
Number 2, to be precise.
A 1993 Miss Sweden, Victoria Silvstedt had a shot at the Miss World title and excelled as a professional skier. Married to television professional Chris Wragge, the leggy beauty — just two inches shy of six feet — has appeared in Miss Cast Away, a slapstick spoof that combines Cast Away with Miss Congeniality.
The voluptuous Scandinavian has also turned her attention to music, but her first single Hello hey didn’t win any friends in the US and Britain.
The bright side?
Men in both countries are known to readily recognise her sans clothing.
Top Blonde
Just 21, singer-dancer Jennifer Ellison, born in the Beatles’ hometown of Liverpool, tops the blonde heap. Those who love her say she was born to sing and dance, furnishing proof that she was taking lessons in both as early as age three.
Ellison, who acted for five years in the hit British soap opera Brookside also danced for Princess Anne at Her Majesty's Theatre in London's West End. She stars in the Joel Schumacher movie The Phantom Of The Opera (2004).
Remodelling her career to rival Britney Spears, she has released two singles.
So that’s what it takes to be Blonde Numero Uno. Drink to that!
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