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Thread: What Makes a Good Wife?

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    What Makes a Good Wife?

    I want to know your opinions on this, what makes a good wife?

    I've heard too many men complaining about their marriages and/or about their women changing after they married them. Do you think women are getting worse after they get married, and why? How can something like that be prevented? And what makes a good wife in your opinion?

    About what makes a happy marriage are some other threads...
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    To put it shortly, partner that is willing to work together makes a good wife.

    Oh they must also like the outdoors, believe our ancestors are our gods, and be good in bed.
    Life is like a fire hydrant- sometimes you help people put out their fires, but most of the time you just get peed on by every dog in the neighborhood.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Vķšįlfr View Post

    About what makes a happy marriage are some other threads...

    How about: What makes a Good Husband thread? That could bring up some ''refreshing'' angles (to look on the matter)?

    Bit like these?

    LOL.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Finnish Swede View Post

    How about: What makes a Good Husband thread? That could bring up some ''refreshing'' angles (to look on the matter)?
    Feel free to start one. Considering about 70% of divorces are initiated by women, what men consider to be a good and functioning marriage is quite irrelevant.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Žoreišar View Post
    Feel free to start one. Considering about 70% of divorces are initiated by women, what men consider to be a good and functioning marriage is quite irrelevant.
    Oh, I think you are someway right. So today those (= womens' opinions) are important pieces of the ''marriage puzzles''; you agree? LOL.

    Personally I'm a person who is at least as interesting in the reasons as the outcomes. Concentrate only the outcomes (here numbers of divorces) is:
    1.) often too narrow point of view,
    2.) too easy/simply way (= boring),
    3.) not challenger enough (not active your brains).
    Making simple analyzes, correlations via outcomes might give quite a wrong picture. Plus nobody can solve/change the outcomes, if the reasons (behind of them) will stay as they are. At least not among of free people.
    And if not doing those? => person will be easy target for brainwashing and other kind of influencing.


    Mens opinions are irrelevant; you said? I hope not (totally) .... as good women deserves/needs good men, and good men deserves/needs good women .... BUT I'm interesting about questions/issues like these:

    1.) Today...are womens' and mens' opinions about good marriage .... very different?
    * if they aren't ... do people still (in reality) live/behave like they think/know they should (see above)?
    * if they are, why it is like that?

    2.) Have societies, lifes and needs ... around of us in western world .... changed more than genders have been ready to
    take/handle/face (their ideas/thoughts), or is that mainly true with one gender?

    3.) Would there be something what men could think/do differently vs how they tend to think/do today (I apology as putting this only this way now ... but like you said ... today it is exactly women who mainly ends up to apply divorces)?

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    I would describe a good wife as someone with folkish, traditional values, someone who is not too self-centered (a marriage takes two, and often compromising), who has empathy and love for her household, husband and children, someone who is patient, determined and kind (marriage is not easy, it takes work) and last but not least, someone who is God-fearing (i.e. has morals, even when no one is watching).

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    Any woman who isn't crazy or nuts in the head. Someone calm and collected not prone to emotional outbursts at the drop of a hanky. Someone who is cultured, half-way educated and doesn't make a fool of herself (or me) in public.
    American by birth, made of parts from Emmingen, Baden-Württemberg.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Finnish Swede View Post
    Oh, I think you are someway right. So today those (= womens' opinions) are important pieces of the ''marriage puzzles''; you agree? LOL.
    Well, I believe a wife's opinion has always been important in a marriage, at least in Germanic and Northern European countries. I don't buy into the medieval stereotype of women being dragged by their hair into unwanted marriages, with no power over the household, basically being kept as a hostage.

    As for how men and women relate differently to marriage... I'll leave that to the more experienced members to answer.
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    This article from momjunction lists some pretty ecent attributes of a good wife, IMO. I will summarise some of the most important (in my view, of course):

    • good organiser and administrator of the household; she should not be afraid of chores, although a good husband will often join and help around the house. I like it that my wife keeps the house tidy and she has this "gift" of finding anything I have misplaced in less than 5 minutes. There is a quote that goes, “A wife is a friend first, a lover second and third and probably most important, a maid.” Of course, men should not take advantage of those attributes, however. I've seen husbands who were extremely lazy and complacent. If your wife spends a long time slaving away in the kitchen or cleaning the house, respect her effort. Don't drop the food on the floor the next day.
    • friendly, loving and caring towards her husband and children. Patient, kind, warm, respectful. Affectionate and pleasant to be around. Marriage is much more enjoyable when your wife is your best friend and confident. You're going to spend the rest of your life with this person after all, you might as well enjoy it.
    • she should know how to communicate, and when. Women often expect us men to read their minds. Hard as we may try, not all of us are good at reading between the lines. A good wife will be honest and upfront with her husband, and her husband will appreciate her sitting down and discussing instead of yelling or playing the silent game. Communication is crucial for a successful marriage. A good wife should also be able to return the courtesy and listen to her husband.
    • be able to compromise. Nobody likes constant nagging. A good wife knows which fights to choose, and when to give in. To those who aren't married, expect compromise somewhere down the line. You will deal with it sooner or later.
    • share interests with her husband. Again, you will be spending most of your time with this person. You might as well have something in common.
    • show appreciation.
    • give her husband some space when needed. It goes without saying that the husband should return this favor.
    • take care of heself and look good after marriage. Sadly, many women make a mistake of ignoring their looks after marriage. OTOH, so do some men. Just because you are married does not mean a free pass to forget about your looks, not to mention health.
    • have fun. Marriage is serious, but we cannot always take everything seriously. Make sure that your husband does not always worry about home and work. Allow him to have fun. Think of ways that you can enjoy together. It makes things much easier.

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    That would be spot-on for me too.

    Those women are few and far between.
    American by birth, made of parts from Emmingen, Baden-Württemberg.

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