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Thread: "Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater"

  1. #1
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    "Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater"

    Do you agree with this saying? If someone has betrayed you, is s/he very likely to betray you again? Do you trust, should you? Does the likelyhood increase if they betrayed twice or more? How many times can you forgive before you can say this person is a serial cheater?

    Another question, does everyone cheat? Do you know example of someone who hasn't cheated once in his life?

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    Senior Member Wulfram's Avatar
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    My parents were married for almost fifty years and never cheated. My cousin's wife cheated on him once early in their marriage but he forgave her and as far as I know she hasn't since. But the saying "once a cheater always a cheater" has been true of the majority of cheaters I've known or known of. It thrills them until they are caught and then they typically beg for forgiveness and another chance. More often than not they are accepted back by those they have hurt. But most cheaters are sociopaths and see forgiveness as a weakness to exploit. The more they are forgiven the more invincible they feel. This allows them to relive the thrill of cheating numerous times without ever feeling true guilt and the only thing they lament is being caught.

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    Yes, I believe in the saying once a cheater always a cheater. Of course there will be exceptions here and there like with any principle but for the most part it's true. The temptation and opportunity to cheat might show up but a loyal person will pass it and stay true to their relationship/marriage. Nobody forces you to cheat. If you are weak willed, remove yourself from that situation immediately.

    My husband and I never cheated on each other, both find it ahorrent and weak. Cheating is a form of betrayal, you betray your vows, the trust of your partner (and children, if any), and the institution of marriage. Shame on those who engage in this low behavior.

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    Yes, I believe for the most part it to be true. I was married the first time at a young age and my wife cheated on me while I was away in the military. Like a dumbass I forgave her and it was like giving her a license and she continued to cheat. Though I stopped sleeping with her and even lived apart for the rest of the marriage it was pure hell until we finally got divorced.

    Since I'm not opposed to divorce, I very seriously believe that if someone is ready to cheat on their partner it is time to end the relationship. There are plenty of people out there that don't cheat so why stay with one that do.
    Life is like a fire hydrant- sometimes you help people put out their fires, but most of the time you just get peed on by every dog in the neighborhood.

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    Yes, it generally rings true, I think. If someone cheats, it would be very hard for me to trust them again. It would probably be the end of that relationship, to be honest.

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    Once a prisoner , always a prisoner . Einmal Knasti, immer Knasti .

    Who is once telling a lie , will not be believed , even if he speaks the truth .
    Wer einmal lügt , dem glaubt man nicht , auch wenn er später die Wahrheit spricht .

    These Sprichwörter / Sayings come in mind .



    Depends on the lie / cheating .

    I am revengeful, would not stick much with chjewting persons ..

    A lot of people in my region are worth to be cheated at ,
    but I am not self confident enough to cheat .

    In a relationship I am very lazy , and not very communicative at all .
    I have no interest in other people , so the possibility to be cheated
    is much higher , than the possibility that I cheat with full consciousness on other persons .

    I am very loyal , and don't want much unnecessary trouble , especially since I
    have had a verbal violent youth , and would not want to argue much .
    Mk 10:18 What do you call me a good master, no-one is good .

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    Senior Member Herr Rentz's Avatar
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    I believe once a cheater always a cheater. My first wife did it multiple times before I finally found out, and my second wife did it once and I left the next day. I took a day off and cleaned out everything I owned in the house loaded it into a U-Haul, rented another house and was gone.

    Once that has happened I will never trust that person again.

    I have never cheated on a spouse or girlfriend. I am a one-woman man and always will be.
    American by birth, made of parts from Emmingen, Baden-Württemberg.

    Der Familie Rentz seit 1535 - Meine Ehre heißt Treue

    Das Leben ist zu kurz, um billiges Bier zu trinken!


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    Cheating is repugnant. It breaks a heart, it ends blind trust, it puts into question all the former loyalty you felt towards your partner. We all have our flaws, but there's one sin that can never be forgiven. It's called "betrayal". If it happens within a marriage I would try to pick up the pieces and try to reconcile, outside of it: never. However, I would make my wife sweat - and she must be willing to make amends and show genuine remorse. She's gonna have to make up by jumping through loopholes to regain some of my trust. If she can't she's gonna have to find a different home to live in. I wouldn't divorce her nor remarry because a Catholic can't do that, but practically we would be divorced.

    The thing about cheating is: lately, women's magazines have popularized and normalized cheating. "Everyone is cheating, why aren't you doing it?" Like it's cool, trendy and hip and the thing to do if you want to be part of the cool kids. Making cheaters fashionable can only have a negative effect.

    Would it be so bad if we made adultery illegal again?

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    I guess I'm not a "cool kid" regarding this issue, because I don't think cheating is cool at all.

    I have been in that situation with my first marriage. I gave up a lot for him, and kept forgiving his indescretions. But he wouldn't stop.

    At the time I didn't believe in divorce. I always thought that we could work it out. But there were other issues along with the infidelity. So needless to say, I had to divorce him before he beat me to death.

    After enduring what I now realize was a toxic relationship, I never thought I would meet anyone who would treat me right until I met my second husband. Gareth is everything my first husband proved not to be... Gareth is my soulmate.
    Not all in life is at it appears to be.

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    Senior Member Herr Rentz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chlodovech View Post
    Cheating is repugnant. It breaks a heart, it ends blind trust, it puts into question all the former loyalty you felt towards your partner. We all have our flaws, but there's one sin that can never be forgiven. It's called "betrayal". If it happens within a marriage I would try to pick up the pieces and try to reconcile, outside of it: never. However, I would make my wife sweat - and she must be willing to make amends and show genuine remorse. She's gonna have to make up by jumping through loopholes to regain some of my trust. If she can't she's gonna have to find a different home to live in. I wouldn't divorce her nor remarry because a Catholic can't do that, but practically we would be divorced.

    The thing about cheating is: lately, women's magazines have popularized and normalized cheating. "Everyone is cheating, why aren't you doing it?" Like it's cool, trendy and hip and the thing to do if you want to be part of the cool kids. Making cheaters fashionable can only have a negative effect.

    Would it be so bad if we made adultery illegal again?
    It is still illegal in the Military, but seldom ever prosecuted.


    [Staff note: discussion about the legal status of adultery has been split to this thread.]
    American by birth, made of parts from Emmingen, Baden-Württemberg.

    Der Familie Rentz seit 1535 - Meine Ehre heißt Treue

    Das Leben ist zu kurz, um billiges Bier zu trinken!


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