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Thread: Incels/Inceldom

  1. #331
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    U.S. Military Issues Warning to Troops About Incel Violence at Joker Screenings

    The U.S. military has warned service members about the potential for a mass shooter at screenings of the Warner Bros. film Joker, which has sparked wide concerns from, among others, the families of those killed during the 2012 mass shooting in Aurora, Colorado.

    The U.S. Army confirmed on Tuesday that the warning was widely distributed after social media posts related to extremists classified as “incels,” were uncovered by intelligence officials at the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

    In a September 18th email, service members were instructed to remain aware of their surroundings and “identify two escape routes” when entering theaters. In the event of a shooting, they were instructed to “run, hide, fight.”

    “Run if you can,” the safety notice said. “If you’re stuck, hide (also known as ‘sheltering in place’), and stay quiet. If a shooter finds you, fight with whatever you can.”


    The Army said it became aware of potential threats after receiving a bulletin from the FBI, but that it was unaware of any specific plots or suspects. The notice, which was marked “For Official Use Only,” was relayed purely as a precautionary measure, it said.

    A separate memo, issued on Monday by senior officials in the U.S. Army’s criminal investigation division, stated that the Army had obtained “credible” intelligence from Texas law enforcement officials pertaining to “disturbing and very specific chatter” on the dark web “regarding the targeting of an unknown movie theater during the release.”

    “We do this routinely because the safety and security of our workforce is paramount,” an Army spokesperson said of the widely distributed warning. “We want our workforce to be prepared and diligent on personal safety both inside the workplace and out.”

    Incel is a term that was adopted in the ‘90s by an online subgroup of self-professed “involuntary celibate” men. Over time, some radicalized members of the incel community have formed an ideology that promotes violence. Elliot Rodger self-identified as an incel before he killed six people near the campus of the University of California, Santa Barbara in 2014. And James Holmes, the man who opened fire in a crowded movie theater in 2012 has become a bit of a hero to the incel community. It’s often been repeated that Holmes was inspired by the Joker, a claim that primarily rests on statements the killer reportedly made to police after the fact in which he said he “was the Joker.” Speaking with the Hollywood Reporter, Daniel Oates, Aurora’s chief of police at the time, said that “there is no evidence” the shooter ever said that.

    In the alert emailed to service members, Army officials claimed that incels “also idolize the Joker character, the violent clown from the Batman series, admiring his depiction as a man who must pretend to be happy, but eventually fights back against bullies.”

    “While our standard practice is to not comment on specific intelligence products, the FBI is in touch with our law enforcement and private sector partners about the online posts,” an FBI spokesperson said. “As always, we encourage the public to remain vigilant and to promptly report suspicious activity to law enforcement.”

    In an age of frequent mass shootings by predominately white American men—at least some of whom have referenced in writing their frustrations with sex—the film has sparked controversy over its desire to compel its audience (at least in its first half) to empathize with a mentally unbalanced and unloved “loser” who inevitably resorts to mass murder.

    The gritty film, starring Joaquin Phoenix as the Joker, reportedly makes strides to depict its titular character in a far more realistic fashion than his comics counterpart. Rather than being transformed into the “Joker” after falling into a vat of acid—as the villain so often does in depictions of his DC Comics origin—a harsh life compounded by constant mockery and an inability to “get the girl” is what ultimately leads to his rise as the infamously batty executioner of comic book lore.

    The Hollywood Reporter reported Tuesday that families who lost relatives in the Aurora shooting, which claimed the lives of 12 moviegoers in 2012 during a screening of the Batman film The Dark Knight Rises, signed a letter this week to Warner Bros. sharing concerns about the Joker film. With the film set to open on October 4th, the families asked the legendary film studio to donate to groups that aid victims of gun violence.

    “We are calling on you to be a part of the growing chorus of corporate leaders who understand that they have a social responsibility to keep us all safe,” the letter reportedly says. The film will not be shown in the Colorado theater where the shooting occurred.

    An Air Force officer at Robbins Air Force Base in Georgia—granted anonymity to discuss the Defense Department’s warning freely—said that such notices are occasionally circulated by security managers, but only when deemed “credible.” The officer said that in some cases, commanders may issue an advisory in response; however, one was not issued in this case.

    “Frankly, beyond the email, I’ve heard little about it,” the officer said. “A few folks said they’d avoid opening night, or passed it on to their family members for consideration, but I haven’t heard much else in conversation beyond that.”

    Warner Bros. did not respond to a request for comment.

    In a statement broadly addressing the controversy over the film, Warner Bros. called gun violence a “critical issue” and said that in recent weeks it has called on policymakers to enact legislation to address what it called an “epidemic” of violence. Regardless, the purpose of storytelling, it said, was to “provoke difficult conversations around complex issues.” The company went on to make clear that the film does not endorse real-world violence and said that “it is not the intention of the film, the filmmakers or the studio to hold this character up as a hero.”

    You can read the email that was circulated by the military in full below:

    Team,

    Posts on social media have made reference to involuntary celibate (“incel”) extremists replicating the 2012 theater shooting in Aurora, Colorado, at screenings of the Joker movie at nationwide theaters. This presents a potential risk to DOD personnel and family members, though there are no known specific credible threats to the opening of the Joker on 4 October.

    Incels are individuals who express frustration from perceived disadvantages to starting intimate relationships. Incel extremists idolize violent individuals like the Aurora movie theater shooter. They also idolize the Joker character, the violent clown from the Batman series, admiring his depiction as a man who must pretend to be happy, but eventually fights back against his bullies.

    When entering theaters, identify two escape routes, remain aware of your surroundings, and remember the phrase “run, hide, fight.” Run if you can. If you’re stuck, hide (also referred to as “sheltering in place”), and stay quiet. If a shooter finds you, fight with whatever you can.

    ** this is a condensed version of an HQ Army Materiel Command, G-3, Protection Division Security message **
    https://io9.gizmodo.com/u-s-military...iol-1838412331

  2. #332
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    Toronto van attack suspect says he was 'radicalized' online by 'incels'

    Alek Minassian said after his arrest he drew inspiration from men who used violence as retribution for ‘being unable to get laid’

    The man accused of killing 10 people by ploughing his van onto a crowded Toronto sidewalk has admitted that he was a violent misogynist who was radicalized online, in a video that was made public on Friday.

    Alek Minassian is accused of driving a rental van into a crowd on one of Toronto’s busiest streets, killing 10 pedestrians and injuring 16, in the deadliest act of mass murder in the city’s history.

    The attack traumatized Canada’s largest city, and cast a spotlight on the so-called “incel” online subculture of men united by sexual frustration and a hatred of women.

    In a nearly four-hour interview after his arrest, Minassian told police officers that he was virgin who had never had a girlfriend, admitted to using the van as a weapon and said he wanted to inspire more attacks.

    Asked how he felt about the death of 10 people, he replied: “I feel like I accomplished my mission.”

    Minassian will be tried in February on 10 charges of first-degree murder, as well as 16 counts of attempted murder. The video, and transcripts of the interview, were made public on Friday after an Ontario judge lifted a publication ban. Families of the victims were shown the video before it was released to the public.

    During the meandering discussion with Detective Rob Thomas, Minassian said he belonged to an online subculture of sexually frustated men, and described his path towards radicalization, saying he drew inspiration from other men who used violence as a form of retribution for “being unable to get laid”.

    “I know of several other guys over the internet who feel the same way,” he said, adding they are “too cowardly to act on their anger”.

    Clad in a white prison jumpsuit, Minassian told police that his interactions with women left him embarrassed and angry. He described a Halloween party in 2013, where he tried to speak with young women, but was often ignored or laughed at.

    “I consider myself a supreme gentleman,” he said, adding: “I was angry that they would give their love and affection to obnoxious brutes.”

    A friend at Toronto’s Seneca College, where Minassian studied software development, first directed him to online message boards for men who identify as “involuntary celibates” or “incels”.

    The group views their inability to meet women as punishment for their status as “beta-males” and direct their anger at the people with active sex lives who they derisively call “Chad” and “Stacey”.

    Minassian claimed to have been in contact with Elliot Rodger, who killed six people and himself in a 2014 the campus at the University of California, Santa Barbara, in 2014. Rodger was a self-described incel who posted deeply misogynist videos and a sprawling online manifesto calling for an “overthrow” of what he said was feminist domination.

    Minassian told police he was “radicalized” at around the time of Rodger’s attack – and began to fantasize about starting his own “rebellion”.

    “I was thinking that I would inspire future masses to join me in my uprising as well,” he said.

    He told police that he decided that a 10ft delivery van “was the perfect medium size to use as … my weapon”.

    While he hadn’t initially chosen Yonge Street as his target – one of the busiest thoroughfares in Toronto – he decided it was “time to go for it” after seeing all of the pedestrians milling about the shops lining the street.

    “I’m thinking that this is it – this is the day of retribution,” he told Thomas.

    The video also revealed how the attack was stopped.

    “Someone’s drink got splashed on my windshield, and I was worried that I would crash the van anyways,” said Minassian, explaining why he stopped the vehicle and got out.

    He then sought out a police officer, hoping to provoke a “suicide by cop”. But Ken Lam, a constable, resisted opening fire on Minassian, even though he repeatedly pretended to draw a weapon.

    “Unfortunately, he didn’t react,” said Minassian.

    Minassian’s trial, which will begin in February 2020, will be overseen by only a judge alone. Minassian has admitted to driving the van but has not yet entered a plea. The judge overseeing the case has said that Minassian’s state of mind will be an important part of the trial.
    https://www.theguardian.com/world/20...terview-incels

  3. #333
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    Involuntarily celibate men are trying to leave ‘toxic’ online spaces but don’t know how to escape

    Involuntarily celibate men who vent online about their frustrations with women for denying them sex are now trying to leave such ‘toxic’ communities. Dubbed ‘incels’, they are often ridiculed and memed for their participation in what are regarded as misogynist forums — some of which have more than 100,000 followers. Members consider the platforms a ‘haven’. But many are desperately trying to wean themselves off the ‘manosphere’ – online male communities such as on Reddit and 4chan. Within them, contributors are mocked and bullied in the midst of support, leaving them conflicted as to whether they should stay. Anton*, who has been a part of the community for some time, tells us: ‘This place was a heaven for me in the first few months, but then it slowly became an inescapable hell’. He started going into these forums because he felt undesirable as a short black man (height is an issue which comes up time and again among incel forums). According to incels, at the top of society are Chads and Staceys – conventionally attractive men and women. Then you have incels belonging to subgroups such as ‘ricecells’ (east Asian incels), ‘currycells’ (Indian) and black incels, who sit at the bottom of the hierarchy. Members constantly remind themselves and each other that they are unworthy of female attention because ‘women just prefer Chads’, meaning they’re all in the same boat. Anton tells Metro.co.uk he is tired of the pseudo camaraderie which he feels doesn’t translate to real life. He says: ‘I’m trying to wean myself off of inceldom communities but it’s so hard when you’ve basically conditioned yourself to think that you’re a part of a community, even when over half of that community is basically an alt-right haven that would try to shoot you in the event of a mass shooting.’ Since chatting to us, Anton has deleted his Reddit profile and left an incel subreddit. He explained that his departure was because of the constant self-deprecation present: ‘It’s a pretty toxic community, like all online communities, if you stay in long enough. ‘I don’t have much in common with other incels in these communities because I’m black, progressive and short. ‘The cycle of self-deprecation, self-loathing and hate towards women is draining and counterproductive to one’s personal wellbeing.’ Like others, Anton entered men’s rights spaces because he hadn’t been successful with women. Incels generally foster hateful views on those who deny them sex. The community provides these men with easy explanations of why they are being rejected, positioning women as the enemy to uphold a ‘we’re all in this together’ attitude. Incel communities are a place where men who are rejected finally feel like they belong.

    One 23-year-old man tells Metro.co.uk: ‘Honestly, this group saved me from the brink of insanity. As the only virgin, relationshipless guy I know in real life I began to feel completely alienated. ‘Then I found a group which I could relate to – funny memes, actual scientific research into what matters in sexual attraction and friendly support when someone gets rejected or treated poorly by a girl or group of girls. ‘However, I do see the reason that some incels would want to or feel like they have to leave. It’s not because anything incels do or say is wrong or radical or even untrue.’ Another self-identifying incel tells us: ‘It gives us a place and identity to speak with other like-minded people and share experiences, ideas, possible solutions. ‘As an incel, there tend to be very few people around you that relate. Everyone I know has been in many relationships. ‘It feels extremely lonely, and being part of the community makes me feel not alone in my struggles.’

    Josh, also in his 20s, tells us: ‘There are no pros to being incel. Like there are no pros to having DNA destined for cancer.’ And Rob says: ‘The community can be too much — too abusive, too self-deprecating. Just too much.’ When incel groups cause more harm than healing, it can be difficult for these men to simply log out and go about their lives. Many feel that inceldom has been bestowed upon them and is an inescapable part of who they are. Dev says: ‘Nobody wants to be an incel, it’s not like we can choose.’ Some of these men can’t help look past the ‘involuntary’ aspect of being an incel, believing that at their very core, they are incels and there is no room for mobility. The space is marred with conflicting sentiments: some of it is masochistic — poking fun at themselves and their own shortcomings — and the other aspect is vilifying conventionally attractive people, so-called ‘Chads’ and ‘Staceys’. Posts floating around one of the incel subreddit reads: ‘Nothing will ever change, you’ll be here, alone in your room and no one will ever care for you or your struggles because you are worthless.’ A major obstacle to men getting off these sites is that those who embrace the concept of incels will sometimes sabotage their own chances with women, all while other incels egg them on. One post reads: ‘A girl from a 12th-grade school project texted me three years later. ‘This is literally the first time ANY girl has sent me a text for personal issues and definitely the first time a girl has at least cared about me a bit. Maybe she’s faking it though.’ This sentiment is reflected in many other posts, with women’s motives for showing interest often met with suspicion and questioned by other members of the group. It makes sense that these spaces that once felt like home begin to feel like prisons, trapping incels in a perpetual cycle of rejection, self-loathing, and hatred for those outside the community. But is there a way out?

    Research Fellow from the Centre on Radicalisation and Terrorism Dr Rakib Ehsan says hateful incels who turn to the manosphere can be de-radicalised much in the same way as religious extremists. He tells us: ‘The dark incel subculture on the web tells a general story of young men who are socially isolated and consumed by an overwhelming feeling of rejection — particularly in a romantic sense. ‘A starting point would be providing such young men with a greater sense of “real-life” belonging and encouraging them to adopt a more optimistic and hopeful mindset which is based on personal responsibility and economic self-sufficiency. ‘And, in a way, that actually makes them more “marketable” in a dating sense. ‘Physical exercise can help positive wellbeing but can also have a positive impact on appearance self-perceptions.’ This sentiment chimes with the views of psychologist and author Jonathan Hoban, who thinks help needs to come from government level in the form of funding arts to help wean men off the manosphere and ‘channel’ their ‘frustrations’ more constructively.

    He says: ‘They feel lost, angry and unwanted by society, and overall let down. Millions of pounds that were used to fund youth clubs, mentorships, schemes and positive environments/communities have pretty much all gone. ‘It was here that we used to be able to capture, train and channel in a positive way any frustrations, anger and difficult emotions into something worthwhile and positive like sport, cooking, music etc.’ Former incels say they managed to wean themselves off the groups by involving themselves in activities ranging from socialising in real life to talking it out. Just as the internet is home to hateful groups promoting abuse, there are helpful sites encouraging followers to seek help. Other suggestions include going to a therapist, starting a new hobby and arranging to meet up with those in a similar position. A good start might be to simply press the ‘leave’ button.

    *Names have been changed.
    https://metro.co.uk/2019/09/11/invol...cape-10677202/

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    How Many Bones Would You Break to Get Laid? “Incels” are going under the knife to reshape their faces, and their dating prospects.

    Truth4lie was 27, depressed, and living in a student apartment after a year in a psychiatric hospital on suicide watch when a friend showed him Neil Strauss’s pickup-artist guidebook, The Game. Together they practiced lines from the book, planning to use them on girls in nightclubs. “Would you like to kiss me? I didn’t say you could.”

    In real life, pickup artistry made Truth4lie anxious. One rule stated he needed to initiate conversation with a woman three seconds after seeing her, which felt like taking an exam. Still, he tried the techniques for a few years, with middling success. Eventually, he stumbled on a forum called Sluthate, where anonymous men gathered to “discredit the effectiveness of pickup art.” In one post, a user described coming to the realization that it didn’t matter what he said because of the way he looked.

    The user uploaded a selfie, and other Sluthate posters agreed, mocking the flaws in his face. They congratulated him for “taking the black pill,” shorthand for waking up to the tragedy of being ugly. Ugly people, especially ugly men, they said, are destined to lead unhappy lives and die alone.

    Reading this, Truth4lie felt exhilarated. In the mental hospital, counselors had told him the roots of his depression and anxiety were repressed childhood traumas. In therapy, he relived getting in physical fights as a kid with his dad and the time he punched his sister in the head. Cognition determined emotions, the counselors told him. By changing his mind-set, he could change his behavior. But what if his problems weren’t inside him but outside? Looks can’t be changed with a mind-set adjustment; neither can the cruelly superficial world that values them above all else. The realization was awful and great all at once, as if someone were finally telling him the truth about himself after a lifetime of fake validation.

    “The difference between a mirror image and non-flipped image of myself drives me crazy,” he typed one night, after spending hours comparing his phone’s selfies to his reflection. “I see all my asymmetries … How can it only be my brain?”

    Friends and family said he had body-dysmorphic disorder, a condition the International OCD Foundation says affects about one in every 50 people. Psychiatric manuals describe it as an obsession with perceived flaws in one’s appearance that others don’t see or notice. But Truth4lie’s imperfections were perfectly noticeable to other forum users: weak jawline, feminine nose, small frame, thinning hair. To Truth4lie, their assessments explained why he hadn’t fit in in high school, why his ex didn’t love him, why women he looked at on the street didn’t make eye contact.

    Truth4lie had for a while tried to write a novel about his time in the psychiatric hospital. He read Camus, who said that life has no great meaning. He pondered nihilistic theories posited on the forums he frequented. He discovered terms like “oneitis,” a disease of romantic obsession that enslaves men, and “hypergamy,” an evolutionary principle that pushes women to seek mates above their status. In a post-monogamy society, that means a tiny percentage of genetically superior alpha guys hoard most hetero sex. There were infographics to back it up, Tinder experiments with precise data. Beyond that, there was biology: Genetic wiring controls most everything about life, the forums’ users argued, ensuring the misery of people like him.

    The forums’ posters blamed their plight on women’s rising social power. Once upon a time, women without careers married for stability; today they inevitably spent their 20s riding a “cock carousel” of the hottest guys they could land, settling for an ugly or average-looking man only when they were old and used, i.e., above 30. Even then, women could hardly be depended on for loyalty. Showered with attention on dating apps, favored by divorce courts, beloved by HR diversity initiatives, women had become a privileged class. The forums rarely mentioned wage gaps, pregnancy discrimination, or sexual violence, except in jest.

    “Truth4lie” was an early user name; over the next few years, he’d use others. His depression lingered well into his 30s. He started an online editing business and moved into his parents’ house in a small village in the Netherlands, where he knew almost no one. Most days, he would work from home, post on the forums, then eventually dress — leather jacket, torn jeans, fingerless leather gloves — and take a walk around the village, silently cataloguing how many people glanced at him or returned a smile.

    The sight of certain women began to bother him. When a woman he hired turned out to be beautiful, he fumed online: “An 8/10 girl works for me since today. I’m going to dominate the hell out of her. Trust me, I’m going to kill her confidence.” Women with babies ignited anger, too. “Every time I pass by a pram, it fills me with disgust to know that she has ruined her body and chose to reproduce with another guy,” he wrote. Other users responded with gifs: angry WWE faces, a cackling Nic Cage. “Seeing women taking care of their sons is the only situation in which I don’t hate them,” agreed one user named Biebercel.

    The posters called themselves “incels,” short for “involuntarily celibate.” On one forum where Truth4lie posted — Lookism, which succeeded Sluthate — there are 10,000 registered users. They were on other websites, too (incels.me, incels.co, r/braincels), although it’s impossible to know who was posting on multiple accounts. Incels called women like the one Truth4lie had hired “Stacies.” Alpha men had a name, too. They were called “Chads.”

    You know, those guys who are “praised day and night for their top-tier genetics, making a shit-ton of money, getting insane amounts of validation, never having to worry about paying the rent or any of that bullshit; all they think about is their next football match and coming home and having a threesome with two supermodels, supermodels that puke at the thought of them touching you.” That’s how one incel with a Pepe frog as his avatar described Chads, posting a picture of Lucky Blue Smith and Jordan Barrett backstage at a Balmain fashion show.

    Truth4lie’s friends hated Chad, but they were also convinced their lives would improve significantly if they could somehow become Chad. They tried “gymceling” and “steroidmaxxing” (incel-speak for bodybuilding and taking steroids). They tried jelqing (penis-stretching exercises) and mewing (chewing hard foods to bulk up the masseter muscles, said by British orthodontist Mike Mew to augment the jawline). They tried pulling on their faces to reshape them. They got into skin care.

    Some wanted more elemental improvements. More than pudgy flesh or pocked skin, it was their bones that made incels unfuckable, they believed. Their quarrel was with the very collagen that had ossified in their mother’s womb, the calcium phosphate with the potential to outlast civilizations, maybe even souls — or to be weeded out of the gene pool. “The difference between a Chad and an incel is literally a few millimeters of bone,” reads one meme.

    To transform skull and skeleton could be done only with great expense and pain. It would take surgery. Some incels spent years researching procedures. More and more, they congregated around a single name: Barry Eppley, a cosmetic and reconstructive surgeon in Indiana.

    “I had a dream: to meet the great Dr. Eppley,” wrote Truth4lie in one of over 1,100 Lookism posts mentioning the doctor. “I finally met the man, the true master artist, a superior human being. He should be mentioned with the likes of Mandela, Shakespeare, Luther King, Descartes, and Mother Teresa. He is the Einstein of Aesthetics,” he wrote. “He’s changed thousands of incel lives for the better.”







    Naturally Occuring Chads (clockwise from left): David Gandy, Jordan Barrett, and Lucky Blue Smith. Photo: Mike Marsland/Getty Images (Gandy); Clint Spaulding/Patrick McMullan (Smith); Sylvain Gaboury/PMC (Barrett)..

    When we meet at his office in Carmel, a suburb of Indianapolis, Dr. Barry Eppley says he has never heard of incels. This surprises me. How could someone become an incel celebrity unwittingly?

    On the walls of his consultation rooms hang black-and-white photos of beautiful humans. The men have zygomatic arches hanging like precipices over their caved-in cheeks. Their jaws are wide and sharp, as if drawn by protractors. They have long eyelashes and full lips that never smile.

    “I call it the male-model look,” Eppley tells me, sitting on his right hand and gesturing with his left. He is 63 and wears a paisley tie, monk-strap loafers, and a white coat and speaks with a mischievous ease. “Chiseled features, an angular, sculpted face. It’s been the standard for the annals of time. Now there’s a practical way to actually achieve it.”

    Cosmetic surgery among people who identify as male rose 325 percent between 1997 and 2015 in the U.S., according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. Eppley, who is boarded in oral and maxillofacial surgery as well as plastic surgery, is one of a handful of doctors explicitly targeting young men with procedures to transform the face and body rather than to reverse aging. It’s a burgeoning demographic: Patients fly here from around the world, looking for something their local surgeon doesn’t perform, often a procedure Eppley invented. He does around 450 surgeries a year — eight to ten a week.

    He performed his first custom facial implant in 1997 while on the faculty at Indiana University, practicing plastic surgery at the hospital there. A machinist from Terre Haute had wanted his jawline augmented — and wanted to design it himself. He and Eppley worked together, carving a model out of clay. Eppley now designs custom jaws with CAD, the software used by architects and engineers. “Some people may call my practice on the edge,” he tells me, “but it’s only cavalier if you don’t have the background, working at the university and doing free flaps and complex cases and these sorts of things, which 99 percent of plastic surgeons haven’t done.” (“Free flaps” are a type of tissue transplant used in reconstruction after trauma.)

    Eppley’s range of services includes shoulder widening and narrowing (the clavicle bones are broken, then reconstructed), deltoid and quadriceps implants, and rib removal. Some 10,000 blog posts on his website respond pragmatically to patients’ queries: “Do Neck-Muscle Implants Exist?” They could. “Can My Face Be Changed to Look a Lot Like Someone Else?” Perhaps, pictures needed. “Am I Too Old for Skull Reshaping at 57?” He’s had patients who are over 70. “What Is the Maximum Size of Testicular-Enlargement Implants?” The largest Eppley has done so far is seven centimeters in diameter.

    We are sitting in his empty office on a Saturday when he shows me one. “You dissect the existing testicle out through a small incision,” he explains with a tinkerer’s enthusiasm. “Then we take our little wraparound. Clever design. Uh, it’s hard to describe.” Here he hands me a blob of gummy silicone. It’s too large for me to get my fingers around and has the texture of fine sand. “Then we put it back in. Point of the story is, you double the size of somebody’s testicles.”

    Eppley christened it the “clamshell.” Urologists typically use implants made of saline for patients who have lost a testicle because of cancer. Eppley dreamed up a way to improve the feel and to appeal to those whose testicles function. “All aesthetic surgery comes from reconstructive surgery,” Eppley tells me. “Like everything in life, you just apply one situation to another.”

    Eppley’s not sure exactly why a patient would want testicles of dinosaur-egg size. But that’s true of many of his procedures, which he tends to design in response to patients’ requests. If his practice had a slogan, it would be “We don’t care why you want it,’’ he tells me. “And I suspect patients seek me out because they know I won’t ask them. I don’t see it as my job to cast a judgment.”

    That was certainly true of Eppley’s most famous patient, Pixee Fox, a Swedish model and body-modification artist, who put his practice on the international map after Eppley helped her realize her dream of becoming a “living cartoon.” He gave her a “wasplike” waist, achieved by removing the outer half of ribs 10, 11, and 12. Eppley has since removed hundreds of ribs in waistline reductions. The technique borrows from the bone harvesting used in rhinoplasty and jaw reconstruction but with tinier, more cleverly placed incisions.

    Often his rib-removal patients are transgender and will get hip implants in the same trip. Transgender female patients make up 10 to 15 percent of his practice. He performs facial-feminization surgery on around 25 patients a year. He does far more facial-masculinization surgeries — on over 100 patients annually — although all but one or two of them are on cisgender men.

    Since Eppley’s clients come from all over the world, he first connects with most of them through video-chat consultations. I watch him field a half-dozen calls. One patient has a skull deformity, another has a rare type of tissue degeneration, and several seek “manlier” noses and head shapes.
    “What makes a head shape manly?” I ask. Turns out it depends on whom it belongs to. One recent patient asked for a more angular skull with a peak at the top; another requested the exact inverse, to have his naturally peaked skull rounded. The first patient was black, and the second was white; Eppley suspected cultural standards were at the root of the difference. Some Eppley specialties — like a wide jaw or prominent brow — are universally male, triggered by the hormone testosterone during puberty. Others are arbitrary. Eppley credits the fashion industry for popularizing angular “male model” cheekbones, for instance. Custom implants allow him to adapt to trends more rapidly than other surgeons, who mostly use standard shapes.

    While Eppley consults with patients, his wife, Andréa, the practice’s COO, sits in their shared office and works on an Excel spreadsheet. She manages the finances; Eppley tries to stay in the dark about the cost of the procedures he performs. Andréa has a short blonde pixie cut, a lineless face, and fantastically high cheekbones (they’re “genetic,” she tells me). She says she’s noticed a shift lately in the type of face male patients are looking for. It’s still masculine, but now they want a dash of the feminine, too. “It’s breathtaking bone structure with prominent, full lips,” she says. “A lot of people are headed in androgynous directions.”





    Dreams of Chad: On the incel forum Lookism, users regularly Photoshop each other’s selfies to show what they would like if transformed into Chads.

    On another visit to Eppley’s office, I meet Matthew, 31, who has flown in from the East Coast for a checkup on his third round of chin implants. He has also gotten a rhinoplasty, temple implants, and mouth widening from Eppley. “Women today are definitely pressured more to look a certain way, but if you’re a man, getting work done is more stigmatized,” he says, asking me not to use his last name.

    Matthew isn’t an incel. He knows what one is — he stumbled on their forums while researching Eppley and found them “degrading” to women. He is bisexual and hoped cosmetic surgery would help him date more. He saw it as within the normal, if expensive, range of body improvements, like dieting. He also wants to be famous: “I became obsessed with a lot of models around my age who had that real chiseled bone structure,” he recalls. There was one in particular — Colton Haynes from Teen Wolf — who spoke in a monotone voice that reminded Matthew a lot of his own. Haynes never went to college, while Matthew has a master’s in engineering. “These people have all these followers on Instagram,” Matthew says, “and you’re like, Why can’t I have all these followers?”

    Matthew has striking blue eyes with pale lashes, and, thanks to the procedures, a wide jaw and jutting chin. “I’m definitely more happy with the way I look now,” he tells me, although his life is far from transformed. He lives with his parents and works at Best Buy, an arrangement he originally conceived to help save up for surgery. He’s now planning new procedures, including one to fix what he describes as a bump on the tip of his nose, although I don’t notice it.

    Most of Eppley’s patients are happy with their results in one go, Eppley tells me. But cases like Matthew’s are not uncommon: Roughly 25 percent of his surgeries are revisions of his own work or another doctor’s. That’s higher than most doctors’, because implants often require more adjustments than other types of procedures. Eppley also rarely turns anyone away if he believes he can operate safely and effectively, even if the patient’s perception of a flaw seems out of sync with other people’s. “His appearance is something that he has control over,” Eppley says of Matthew. “Someone might say, Why does it matter, the tip of my nose? But it matters to him.”

    Incels began discussing Eppley’s results around 2014 on Sluthate. They were particularly interested in the custom facial implants designed by Eppley and a team of engineers at the Colorado firm 3D Systems, which are then manufactured, usually in silicone, by a California company called Implant Tech. Patients participate in the process down to the millimeter.

    When I show an incel forum to Eppley, he at first seems confused by the anonymous usernames. We look at a thread by a user named Saiyan who has posted images of his designs for Eppley cheekbone implants and post-op selfies. Finally, it seems to dawn on Eppley: “That patient has done more to promote that style of implant than anyone I know,” he says. He has fielded requests from dozens of patients who specifically reference Saiyan’s photographs. He hadn’t known where they’d found them.

    “Indianapolis is not a hotbed of plastic surgery,” says Eppley. “This practice is only possible because people really do a tremendous amount of research, and typically patients have been on many, many forums.” His staff regularly posts dispatches from the operating room on the practice’s YouTube and Instagram, and the surgeon spends hours every week answering emailed questions from patients and transforming the results into SEO-optimized blog posts.

    Eppley’s “whatever you want” philosophy is certainly part of his appeal. Some surgeons will not operate on patients they believe may have body dysmorphia. “To me, that’s a red flag when someone has 200 pictures of themselves on their phone,” says Joe Niamtu, a cosmetic surgeon in Virginia, who declines to operate on many young male patients seeking sculpted faces. “The risk is they’ll never be happy.” Niamtu has referred some patients to Eppley.

    On forums, incels argue that the diagnosis is often a kind of reverse discrimination and that women seeking invasive procedures to fix relatively small flaws are not greeted as skeptically. “Social media and ease of access/exposure to plenty of top 3% chaddy hunks has literally set the bar much higher for men,” wrote one user. Body dysmorphia “was invented by oldcel psychologists who grew up in the 50s and had NO problem to find a looksmatched or even better-looking wife,” noted another.

    But even Eppley’s learned to be more cautious. In 2009, he sued a former patient who was waging an online war on his practice, creating dozens of SEO-hogging sites (e.g., Dreppleysucks.com). Her face-lift revision had resulted in a permanent breathing problem, she claimed to filmmakers in the 2006 HBO documentary Plastic Disasters, although she never filed a medical-malpractice suit and doctors who subsequently examined her found no surgery-related abnormalities. Shortly before the court ruled in Eppley’s favor, the patient committed suicide. Eppley now trains assistants on how to monitor patient communications for signs of mental instability. But he doesn’t turn away those he suspects of having body dysmorphia. “Many of my patients have it to some degree,” he tells me. “These procedures can be really transformative.”



    More Photoshopped selfies from Lookism.

    Nature isn’t fair,” Truth4lie, who is half-Dutch and half–North African, tells me. “Some races are more attractive than others,” and biology, he says, determines beauty, not cultural norms.

    In 1993, a 34-year-old neo-Nazi made an appointment with a Chicago plastic surgeon and murdered him, saying later in court that he was motivated to protect “Aryan beauty.” Incels tend to venerate the same European features, but they also revere the surgeons who bestow them. Only a handful are white supremacists — “stormcels,” as they’re known. Far more are like Truth4lie: not white, but convinced that most paragons of male beauty are.

    In forum posts, incels classify Chads by phenotype (“Keltic Nordid,” “Gracile Mediterranid”) and style (jock, lumberjack, vampire, pretty boy). They repost scientific research on the importance of symmetry and harmony in universal standards of beauty. They discuss the Golden Mask, a Platonic ideal of a face designed by a California surgeon using the ratio of phi.

    Truth4lie’s preferred Chad was a common incel favorite: David Gandy, the face of Dolce & Gabbana’s Light Blue cologne ads, in which the British model has a bronzed six-pack, a plump Speedo, and crystal-blue eyes. (That Stefano Gabbana and Domenico Dolce are gay designers best known for an aesthetic of homoerotic high camp was an irony most incels missed.)

    The more Truth4lie read about Eppley, the more the doctor seemed capable of turning even Truth4lie into a Chad. He remembers one widely shared photo showing what it said was an Eppley patient with a new chin, a new jaw, a new forehead, new temples, and a new skull. “It was like Eppley created a whole new person,” Truth4lie recalls. “Incels have this idea of an ideal superman, and Eppley is the one who does that crazy stuff.”

    The first time Truth4lie saw Eppley was during a video consultation one summer afternoon in 2016. He was living in an apartment his parents owned. His bedroom was what he calls “typical incel,” i.e., “trillions of fruit flies multiplying, cigarettes and ash on the floor, dirty clothes all over the place, not a glimmer of light.” He took his laptop to the garden outside.

    Truth4lie’s jaw wasn’t severely recessed, Eppley noted, peering at the videoconference feed of the dark-haired 35-year-old side by side with pictures he’d sent by email. Eppley said he could fix his slightly weak chin, asymmetry, and lack of vertical length with a custom jaw implant based on a CT scan of Truth4lie’s skull. (Truth4lie wouldn’t send me pictures of himself, but I found a few online, although I wasn’t sure if they were pre- or post-op. He has short dark hair and dark eyes, a cupid’s bow on his upper lip. He is squinting into the camera. He reminds me of Joseph Gordon-Levitt with a wider face.)

    Incels have this idea of an ideal superman, and Eppley is the one who does that crazy stuff.
    The surgery came with risks, Eppley explained: infection, malposition, asymmetry. In young men getting multiple procedures, the likelihood that one would need to be revised was high. And it was impossible to precisely predict, even for an experienced surgeon, how large or small an implant would look once it was covered with soft tissue. Truth4lie understood, he told the doctor. He made a deposit and booked a date for the surgery, which would cost $18,500, plus the price of a trip to Indianapolis from the Netherlands.

    The operation would include a rhinoplasty revision. Truth4lie had his first cosmetic surgery when he was 19 from a local surgeon who transformed his naturally concave “Arabic” nose into a bunny ski slope, a result Truth4lie had come to see as a botch. Eppley would give his nose a shape that Truth4lie considered “more masculine” — aquiline or Roman, straight with a slight curve at the tip.

    That October, Truth4lie would take the 11-hour flight to Indianapolis, his first trip to America. He was more nervous about being unable to shield himself from judgmental glances at the crowded airport than about the procedure. When he pulled up to Eppley’s office in a suburban medical park, the parking lot felt like another ocean. Everything in America was too big.

    A nurse had him read some paperwork. The procedures would take six weeks to heal, and the swelling might continue even longer. When Truth4lie woke up from the anesthesia in Eppley’s surgical center, the room was dark. He felt no pain. Later, Eppley came in, removed the bandage from Truth4lie’s nose, and handed him a mirror. The appendage looked straighter, more male. As Truth4lie left the surgical center, he made eye contact with the nurses and staff, trying to gauge their reaction to his new face.

    Back at his hotel, he ordered room service and watched TV. His jaw was still swaddled in bandages, and his mouth was filled with blood. When he removed the bandages, his jaw was not yet swollen. He admired its width and dreamed of a new life.

    “I hope everything goes well and this will be a real change,” he wrote on the forum. “But where do I need to begin? I need women, lots of women, to make up for my miserable life. I need a new social circle, a new identity, a new life. I’ve been thinking of leaving my country. I want to live in hotels in tropical countries and live a playboy life there, only fucking hot blonde European girls. I have the money, I have the freedom. I need to go and leave this goddamn rotten place, need to leave everything behind, my old life.”

    “I think you are expecting too much from just some jaw implants,” replied another user.



    Another Chad. Photo: Guillaume Roemaet. Makeup by Meghan Yarde; Hair by Ro Morgan; Casting by Felix Cadieu. Photo Assistant: Kevin Drelon. Creative Producer: Lisa Christine. Model: Mike Gioia at Soul Artist Management.

    In 2014, a self-described incel named Elliot Rodger, who called himself a “supreme gentleman,” wrote in a manifesto that the world had failed to provide “the beautiful girlfriend I know I deserve” before he killed six people and injured 14, carrying out a shooting spree at an Isla Vista, California, sorority house. He had been a user on the forum Pick Up Artist Hate (puahate.com), a precursor to Sluthate. In the past decade, seven mass killings have been attributed to incels or adjacent online misogynists.

    On Lookism, the forum where Truth4lie and Saiyan posted about Eppley, users half-jokingly encouraged each other to “go ER,” a reference to Rodger. It was that, suicide, or surgery, they said. “If you don’t have Masterfaggot levels of coping to get you through each day to stop you from going ER, then you had better have cosmetic surgery scheduled very soon,” wrote a user named Invisible.

    Incels I spoke to framed posts like this as a kind of dark humor, helping them face painful truths about the world with a shield of irony. But trolling also seemed like a gateway to extreme ideas. When incel Alek Minassian drove a van onto a crowded sidewalk in Toronto in 2018, killing ten, he prefaced his crime with a Facebook post praising “the Supreme Gentleman Elliot Rodger.”

    Cosmetic surgery seemed to serve a similar function to trolling but on a grander, more permanent scale. Incels said it would help them to live more normal lives and alleviate loneliness and depression. Just as often, it seemed to carve their prejudices in bone.

    “Getting treated better after surgery feels sickening,” wrote one user, LegendOfBrickTamland. Brick had gotten a new jaw, nose, and cheekbones from a surgeon in California, costing him around $30,000, and still he was furious at women and the world. “It’s like, I am the same fucking person, and yet I am somehow better because I spent some money and had a man cut my face up. Might as well just go with prostitutes. At least it’s an honest exchange.”

    Relax and try to enjoy life, replied another user, who had also undergone surgery. “I was mostly just happy people seemed to smile at me more, make better eye contact, and wanted to hang out more.” A month later, that person authored his last forum post under his user name, which perhaps suggests he’d left the forums for good.

    Much like women getting breast implants, South Koreans getting eyelid surgery, or bodybuilders taking steroids, the posters on incel forums seem at first to be motivated by the undeniably relatable desire to look better — and therefore be treated better. Natalie Wynn is an academic turned “one of YouTube’s leading B-list transsexuals” (her words). On her YouTube channel, ContraPoints, she comments on far-right internet culture while sipping wine and sporting 18th-century cosplay. Her most popular video is on incels, and she grants the group more sympathy than you’d expect. “I’m just as obsessed with bones as the goddamn incels,” she says at one point, noting that she’s about to pay “luxury-car amounts of money” for facial-feminization surgery. Some transgender people are against that surgery, she tells me by phone, because “they think we’re trying to pass and look cis, which is only a thing that we’d want to do in a really transphobic society.” But is it right to blame individual trans people for trying to be happy? “To me, it seems not the point.”

    Unlike transgender people who pursue surgery, of course, incels tend to be perpetrators, rather than targets, of violence and discrimination. Still, the positions of some incels I talked to echoed Wynn’s analysis. PostSingularityVirgin, a 21-year-old Canadian, started reading incel forums when he was 17. Soon after, he dropped out of college to save up for cosmetic surgery, which he has yet to get. He believes people like him are the future; in the next century, cosmetic surgery will be widespread and affordable to everyone, he tells me. “I feel like inequality in humans is like the greatest source of misery,” he says. “Wealth inequality, how you’re treated because of the way you look. A lot of those things are being eliminated by technology.”

    But in a way, PostSingularityVirgin is an exception. He recently found himself questioning why a girl in his life didn’t seem to fit the descriptions of women he’d read about on incel forums. They met a few months ago on the webcam service Omegle. Every night, they talk on Skype, trading Futurama and SpongeBob references and concocting an imaginary family: He has a stuffed pig named Billy, and his girlfriend pretends she’s its mom. Sometimes they get naked and stare at each other’s bodies through the screen. PostSingularityVirgin doesn’t know if he believes in love, but he loves talking to her.

    For other incels, the anger they held on to even after their surgery suggests their motivation may be something closer to what feminist writer Jessica Valenti has described: “Incels are not a community of sad men that reflect a societal problem with loneliness. They’re a community of violent misogynists that reflect a societal problem with sexism and sexual entitlement.”

    Mike, a tour guide in Austria in his mid-30s, has spent so much time on incel forums that he “doesn’t know anyone in real life anymore.” But he’s not technically an incel, he says: He’s slept with 50 women in his life, though only “10 percent were hot.” “An average man has to swipe about 114 times on Tinder to get one match,” Mike said when we talked on WhatsApp. On the forum, meanwhile, he has read about “how many matches and messages women get, even women with gross deformities, women with disabilities, morbidly obese women.”

    In conversations like this, it was difficult to empathize with incels — they had so little empathy for anyone else. It’s not as if straight men are the only ones who experience punishing standards of hotness and social-media alienation. But only incels react with bile.

    “How is it living as a hot/normal woman knowing you can order a hot fuckboi from Tinder whenever you want? Do you see it like that?” Mike asked me. His obsession over sleeping with ever-hotter women reminded me of pickup artistry: This was sex as a game to win, in which the other person was the chump. Incels weren’t always seeking love or acceptance as much as conquest.

    Mike recently got a jaw procedure called BSSO, plus a hair transplant. After the surgeries, he met two girls at his other job, teaching comedy, whom he considered “cute,” and he took this as a sign of success. Now he’s investing in cryptocurrency in hopes of getting more procedures with Eppley. In a recent forum thread, he posted a selfie specced out with angles and degrees, measurements of his features; he then found a photo of Tom Cruise and gave it the same treatment. (Mike’s jaw angle was 69.02 degrees; Tom’s was 76.31.) “I want to solve this woman thing,” he told me.

    Ironically, as Mike and his friends were obsessing over “GigaChads” who looked like models, the real-life fashion industry was beginning to court more eclectic faces, whose curves and acne and wrinkles and grooming seemed only to enhance their beauty. The Chad face was, if anything, a bulwark against that kind of progress: Its retrograde look was the point.

    When I discovered his real-world identity and tracked him down, Truth4lie at first denied he was the user from the Lookism forum. Then he came clean.

    “I feel ashamed about everything,” he told me. “I’m talking to a woman, and I said bad things about them. I’m actually a nice person in real life.” He declined to speak further, preferring not to be reminded of this dark chapter in his past.

    A few minutes later, he changed his mind and called me. By that time, Truth4lie’s account on Lookism had been dormant for roughly a year. One of his last posts, from June 2017, announced he was leaving the online community for good. “Slowly slithering back into society, because looks = NT,” he wrote, using an acronym for “neurologically typical.” In Truth4lie’s view, mental illness was a by-product of his outward appearance; if he were better looking, his depression would disappear.

    After his first surgery with Eppley, he tells me, he returned to the Netherlands to wait for the swelling to go down. He was happy with his rhinoplasty revision but couldn’t figure out whether his new jaw was too big. Some days the results seemed perfect. Other days one side looked horrifically large. “Just realized my face is slightly too flat,” he wrote one morning. “Should I fly back to the U.S.?” Eppley pressed him to wait. To feel calmer, Truth4lie listened to long videos of rain sounds.

    “My self-image fluctuates all the time,” he wrote on the forum as he waited. “I want to live in a plastic surgeon’s office. I just want to have a bed in one of his labs. Just a bed, a small kitchen, and an internet connection. I want to feel pure within my body and self-validate by looking in the mirror and seeing the flawless skull. When detecting a tiny deformity, I call the surgeon and he’ll be there immediately, along with his assistant and a knife in his hand to cut me open.”

    He would come back to Indianapolis three more times that year, staying at the same Holiday Inn off the side of the interstate near Eppley’s office for weeks at a time. For the first revision, in January 2017, Eppley shaved off part of the original silicone implant that Truth4lie thought was too big.

    The time in his life when Truth4lie remembers being happiest was that spring, after his second surgery. Before he began to notice new flaws, he spent a brief few months when he felt transformed into a new person. He contacted an old friend in a neighboring town and rebuilt his relationship with his parents. When he took pictures of himself or looked in the mirror, he felt calm. People’s reactions to him appeared to change. They seemed to make eye contact more and smile, though Truth4lie couldn’t be sure if it was all in his head.

    But by May, he’d returned for a second revision, during which Eppley replaced the implant altogether to correct a small asymmetry. Another revision corrected for a shape that Truth4lie found, once again, too big. After his last revision with Eppley, over the summer, Truth4lie developed an open wound that took months to close.

    On the phone, Truth4lie told me he had recently had his fifth jawline-implant revision, this time with a local surgeon in Holland. “Do you say, ‘I’m happy with how I look now?’ ” he asks. “Or do you go deeper down the rabbit hole with the chance to fuck up everything with another procedure because you can always be better looking?”

    He says he doesn’t hate women anymore. But he hasn’t left behind most of the theories about life that he was exposed to on incel forums. Sometimes when he notices a woman making eye contact with other men in the street, the entire world seems to narrow to a harsh, suffocating plane of power dynamics, in which sexual attraction determines all. “Every time I try to talk myself out of things I used to believe, of the black pill, it feels like I am moving away from the truth,” he tells me. It’s hard to want to live when that happens.

    The second time we speak on the phone, Truth4lie tells me he has just been released from the hospital after attempting suicide. His last jaw-implant revision was still monstrously swollen, and he was so anxious about it that death seemed easier than looking at his face in the mirror.

    He swallowed pills, then read on Google that his final hours would be slow and painful. So he called an ambulance. When he woke up in the hospital, it felt like being reborn, joyous, akin to the dopamine rush he always felt after being operated on.

    “The prospect of a better surgery result is keeping me alive,” he tells me.

    In the months since we first spoke, Eppley has been trying to come to terms with his incel celebrity. He seemed pensive, if not exactly shocked, when I asked him about it recently. “I’ve often wondered why some of my patients are the way they are. I’ve been dealing with them for years, unknowingly,” he says. “I just take them as some of our challenging young male patients, but this certainly explains some of their behaviors. Psychologically, this is an abnormal group.”

    I ask him what he thinks about Truth4lie’s case. “It’s easy to look back on something and say we shouldn’t have operated,” he tells me. But screening for someone who will never be happy is difficult. “My job is not to be a psychiatrist sitting in a chair. You’re serving a need, and you don’t know the depths of that need.”

    He considers the question of whether the surgeries could end up reinforcing incels’ misogyny beyond his purview: “A doctor who puts in 500 breast implants, there will be someone who says, ‘He’s a terrible person. He’s making women sick for profit.’ ” Someone who operates on transgender patients will be told, “ ‘He shouldn’t have a medical license. That’s against God.’ ”

    But breast implants and gender affirmation don’t reinforce patients’ hatred of other groups of people, as incel’s procedures might, I point out. “How is it any different?” Eppley says. “You have no idea what someone’s motivations are, whether that’s trying to be more attractive and feel better about themselves” or something more nefarious.

    Eppley stops short of saying anything that might discourage incels from continuing to seek him out. “I have zero positive or zero negative things to say about them. They’re just people. The only thing I care about is that on an individual-patient basis, are they happy?”

    Eppley’s career has given him plenty of opportunities to study the nature of human appearances, and over time, he’s had a few insights. He believes each of us is actually three people: how we see ourselves, how others see us, and how we actually are. Eppley will turn 64 this August. He has blue eyes, plenty of crow’s-feet, and a mane of hair that does indeed channel Einstein’s. “I don’t have any pictures taken of myself,” he tells me. “I prefer to walk around with an illusion of what I look like.”
    https://www.thecut.com/2019/05/incel...c-surgery.html

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    This is less funny:



    Obama's America and the rise of SJWs under his rule coinciding with a decline in men having sex is no coincidence. Terrible stats. The death of the West visualized.
    "If we were going to stand in darkness, best we stand in a darkness we had made ourselves.” ― Douglas Coupland, Shampoo Planet

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    Here's a good research article on that topic: file:///C:/Users/hp/Downloads/1097184x17706401.pdf
    Ging, Debbie: Alphas, Betas, and Incels: Theorizing the Masculinities of the Manosphere, Men and Masculinities · May 2017.

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    Interesting article on female dating preferences, and how it contributes to the incel-problem in an environment shaped by women's enfranchisement and hypergamy. Goes to show how our current cultural set-up is a recipe for disaster in regards to male-female relations.


    Published on January 16, 2020
    All the Single Ladies
    written by Vincent Harinam and Rob Henderson



    “Oh, he’s kind of cute.” My friend at Yale, swiping through Tinder, leaned over and showed me his profile.
    “Wait, no.” She moved her finger leftward.
    “Why not? He seems alright,” I reply.
    He goes to a local, less highly-regarded university, she explained. In other words, not Yale.

    Swipe Right for a Master’s Degree

    The dating market for women is getting tougher. In part, this is because fewer men are attending universities. Why would male enrollment in higher education matter for women? Because women, on average, prefer educated men. One source of evidence comes from women’s personal responses to dating profiles posted by men. Researchers analyzed 120 personal dating ads posted by men on the West Coast and Midwest. They found that two of the strongest variables that predicted how many responses a man received from women were years of education and income. Similar results have been found in Poland. Researchers analyzed how many women responded to dating ads posted by 551 men. They found that men with higher levels of education and higher income received more responses. A more recent study in Australia of more than 40,000 online daters found that women were more likely to initiate contact with a man if he had more education than themselves.

    Still, young people today are more likely to use Tinder or other dating apps than Internet dating websites. Are things different on the apps? A study led by economics researcher Brecht Neyt of Ghent University found that, on Tinder, women were 91 percent more likely to “like” a man with a master’s degree compared with a bachelor’s degree. The researchers used the same male profiles, the only difference was level of education. They also tested how men would react to women with different levels of education, finding that men were only 8 percent more likely to “like” a woman with a master’s degree compared with a bachelor’s degree. Both men and women preferred more educated partners, but women had a much stronger preference.

    In other words, all other things equal, a man with a master’s degree is about twice as likely to get a match than a man with a bachelor’s degree. Perhaps something to keep in mind, if you are interested in obtaining a graduate degree and are active on Tinder.

    Some women do marry men with less education, though. These women tend to marry men who earn more than them. A study by Yue Qian, a sociologist at the University of British Columbia, found that in marriages where women had more education than their spouses, they were 93 percent more likely to be married to men with higher incomes than themselves. In other words, if you are a less educated man, it is helpful to earn more than your educated male peers if you want to marry an educated woman. Better-educated women have a stronger preference for partners who earn more, especially if their partners are less educated than themselves.

    This finding fits the overall pattern revealing that women who are more educated and professionally successful have an even stronger preference for successful male partners, relative to less successful women. The evolutionary psychologist David Buss, discussing his research on how professionally successful women select partners, found that “Successful women turned out to place an even greater value than less professionally successful women on mates who have professional degrees, high social status, and greater intelligence and who are tall, independent, and self-confident.” The more professionally successful a woman is, the stronger her preference for successful men.

    Getting Ratioed

    Sex ratios matter for dating strategies for both men and women. Even seemingly small differences in sex ratios can be misleading. For example, in The Evolution of Desire, David Buss discusses the student body of the University of Texas at Austin where he teaches. In 2016, the student body consisted of 46 percent men and 54 percent women. That doesn’t seem like a big difference, but it is. It translates to 17 percent more women than men on campus. The UT Austin campus has about 52,000 students in total. This means that if every student pairs up with someone of the opposite sex, about 4,000 women will be without a partner.

    More to the point, the age range for the Tinder study cited above was 23 to 27. This is the age range in which women are far more educated than men, and where more women tend to be looking for male partners. In his book Date-onomics, Jon Birger revealed that according to the U.S. Census Bureau’s American Community Survey, there are 5.5 million college-educated women between the ages of 22 and 29, versus only 4.1 million college-educated men in the same age bracket. In other words, the dating pool for college graduates has 33 percent more women than men—or 4 women for every 3 men. Broken down by degree type across all ages in the U.S., for every 100 men with bachelor’s degrees, there are 130 women. For those with master’s degrees, for every 100 men there are 134 women. The situation for educated women seeking educated male partners isn’t looking so good. Furthermore, more men identify as exclusively homosexual relative to women. Which suggests the dating pool for heterosexual women may be even smaller than the above numbers suggest.

    But how do such imbalances manifest themselves with regard to mating strategies? When there is a surplus of men, men are more likely to adapt to women’s preferences. When there is a larger male-to-female ratio, men are more likely to compete with each other to be what women want. And, on average, women tend to prefer longer-term relationships. In general, women report a greater desire for emotional investment than men. This is true across cultures. In fact, the sex disparity in this preference for emotional investment is greater in more egalitarian cultures. In other words, the difference in the desire for love and emotional investment between men and women is larger in societies that more strongly underscore egalitarianism and sociopolitical equality. In contrast, men, on average, are more likely to prefer more casual sexual relationships. Indeed, the sex difference in the male preference for casual sex and sexual variety is greater in more gender-egalitarian societies. For example, research led by the psychologist David Schmitt found that the sex difference for enjoyment of casual sex in Denmark, Norway, and Finland is higher than in less gender-egalitarian cultures such as Ethiopia, Colombia, and Swaziland.

    And we see this on campuses with more male students relative to female students. Jon Birger, in Date-onomics, describes the dating scene on campuses with imbalanced sex ratios. On colleges with more men than women, such as Caltech, steady relationships are more widespread. Students go on dates, and men demonstrate commitment in partnerships. Men are more willing to do what women want in order to be with them. On the other hand, when there is a surplus of women relative to men, women are more likely to adapt to men’s preferences. They compete with one another to be what men want. And this is what we see on campuses with more female students relative to male students. On colleges with more women than men, such as Sarah Lawrence, casual sex is more widespread. Hookup culture is more prevalent, and men are less interested in entering committed relationships. Women are more willing to do what men want in order to be with them.

    Birger describes an interview with a female student at Sarah Lawrence:

    Most straight men at Sarah Lawrence had no interest in a committed relationship. “Why would they?” she said. “It’s like they have their own free harem. One of my friends was dumped by a guy after they’d been hooking up for less than a week. When he broke up with her, the guy actually used the word ‘market’—like the ‘market’ for him was just too good.”

    If you have ever been around young men at elite colleges, many of them do speak in this way, especially if there are less prestigious colleges nearby. This is because male students at top colleges can attract women at their own college, as well as other local campuses. On the other hand, women at top colleges are often only interested in dating men at their own college. For these women, the dating pool is less promising compared to their male counterparts.

    Interestingly, women at colleges where women are more numerous trust men less. In a study on campus sex ratios and sexual behavior, researchers analyzed data from 1,000 undergraduate women from different U.S. colleges. Women’s responses varied based on sex ratios on campus. For example, women at colleges with more women were more likely to agree that “men don’t want a committed relationship” and that they “don’t expect much” from the men with whom they go out. They also found that women on campuses with a higher female-to-male ratio were much less likely to report that they had never had sex.

    The researchers report that, “women who attend college on campuses where they are more numerous tend to view men as less interested in commitment and less trustworthy. They are less likely to expect much from men, find it more difficult to locate the right kind of men, and are more likely to report that their relationships don’t work out and that a woman can’t have a boyfriend if she won’t have sex.” In other words, when men are in an environment where there are more women, they appear to put in less effort, and have less interest in relationships.

    In contrast, in environments where men are more numerous, relationships are more likely to proliferate. The Harvard psychologist Marcia Guttentag and her colleague Paul Secord examined Census numbers, data on sex ratios, and historical texts dating back to ancient Greece and medieval Europe. She found that in societies where men were more numerous relative to women, the culture was more likely to stress courtship and romance. Men had to compete for wives and were thus more willing to make commitments to women. While women in such societies were more likely to be cast in stereotypical gender roles, they also, Guttentag reports, exercised greater control in their choice of romantic partner. She found that the opposite was the case in societies with more women than men. She writes, “The outstanding characteristic of times when women were in oversupply would be that men would not remain committed to the same woman throughout her childbearing years.” Intriguingly, Guttentag posits that feminist movements are energized when there is a dearth of men in the local environment:

    With a surplus of women, sexual freedoms are more advantageous to men than to women. Decreased willingness to commit oneself to an exclusive relationship with one woman is consistent with that fact… It follows further that the persistence of such circumstances would leave many women hurt and angry. Other women, not themselves without a man, would nevertheless often be aware of the unfortunate experiences of their women friends in relations with men. These circumstances should impel women to seek more power, and incidentally, turn them towards meeting their own needs. Most forms of feminism are directed to just such ends.

    In short, environments with more women give rise to conditions that propel women to reduce their social, economic and political dependence on men. In part because men are less interested in commitment when they are outnumbered by women and therefore have more options.

    Still, much of this is assuming that men in educated dating pools prefer educated women. And for long-term relationships, they do. Compared with women, though, men tend to be more open to pairing up with less educated partners. And less educated women tend to be open to dating men more educated than themselves. What this means, then, is that educated women are not only competing against other educated women for educated male partners, but also against less educated women. To use Guttentag’s phrasing, the dating environment for educated men has an oversupply of women, and they are acting in line with Guttentag’s original findings. As Birger puts it in Date-onomics, describing why educated men are often reluctant to settle down, “Why make a lifetime commitment to one woman when you can keep her as an option while continuing to survey the market—a market that, for college-educated men, has an ever-increasing number of options?” This point has also been stressed by David Buss. In an essay titled The Mating Crisis Among Educated Women, Buss observes that it is no coincidence that the rise of hookup culture on college campuses has developed alongside the growing proportion of female students. Even Tinder, he suggests, is a part of the same phenomenon. Fewer men means more hookups.

    Why Don’t You Get a Job?

    Other factors don’t bode well for long-term relationships. According to the Pew Research Center, nearly 80 percent of never-married women, compared with less than half of never-married men, report that having a partner with a steady job is “very important” to them. Employed men are more attractive to women. And given that successful women tend to value success in prospective partners even more than less successful women, it stands to reason that employed women place an even greater value on employment when selecting a partner. However, Pew has also found that among never-married adults, for every 100 women, there are only 84 employed men. If all employed men were suddenly taken, every sixth woman would be partner-less.

    [...]

    Why are men falling behind when it comes to education? Several suggestions have been offered. One might be video games. In a paper titled “Cutting class to play video games,” the economist Michael Ward looked at a dataset of more than 6,000 high school and college students. He found that when video game sales increase, students spend less time attending class and doing homework and more time playing games. Furthermore, this “crowding out” effect was stronger for males and lower income students. He also found that the average amount of time spent playing video games was three times larger for males compared to females.

    The economist Erik Hurst has suggested that leisure time has become so valuable to men that they are less willing to exchange that time for other pursuits. In an interview, Hurst has said, “In our culture, where we are constantly connected to technology, activities like playing Xbox, browsing social media, and Snapchatting with friends raise the attractiveness of leisure time. And so it goes that if leisure time is more enjoyable, and as prices for these technologies continue to drop, people may be less willing to work at any given wage.” This may be why fewer young men, relative to women, are employed or attending university.

    [...]

    For now, many young men understand that women want educated and successful partners. Why not work harder to adapt to this preference? In their book, The Demise of Guys, psychologists Philip Zimbardo and Nikita Duncan suggest that the answer is twofold: fake war and fake sex. They argue that many young men have a natural desire for conflict, struggle, and accomplishment. Video games satiate this desire. They are designed to induce a sense of gradual achievement in the face of obstacles adapted to be just above the player’s ability. Alongside this, young men also have a natural desire to seek sexual partnerships. Digital porn satiates this desire. Porn provides a virtual experience of sexual fulfillment with multiple different partners. Many young men may have simply decided to derive a sense of accomplishment from gaming, and a sense of sexual satisfaction from porn.

    Sexy selfies and dating pools

    In short, there are far more educated women than educated men. Educated women, on average, prefer men who are educated as well. And among couples in which the woman has more education, they tend to prefer men who earn more than themselves. But the reality is that fewer young men are graduating from college compared to women, fewer men are employed, and fewer men are seeking employment. The dating pool is shrinking for women who are interested in successful, educated, men with good career prospects. In such an environment, hookup culture becomes more widespread, which women tend not to like as much as men. The romantic landscape is rosy for educated men, who are more open to dating both educated and less educated women. But for women, the situation doesn’t look as great. Research suggests in such an environment, sexual competition between women intensifies. In fact, a recent study found that the proliferation of “sexy selfies” may be due in part to economic inequality, as women compete to earn the attention of a shrinking pool of economically successful men.

    The good news, though, is that among couples in which both individuals are educated, they tend to be happier. Their divorce rates are lower and their satisfaction with their marriages are higher. But as the incentives continue to shift, and imbalanced ratios continue to influence the dating pool for the educated, we may see fewer such couplings.


    ________________________________________ ___
    https://quillette.com/2020/01/16/all-the-single-ladies/



    An interesting comment from the site:

    Education and formal education are antonyms.

    The formal education system, besides promoting Leftism, is highly feminized. It treats all students like girls and puts boys on ritalin to try to get them to comply. The results are a reduction in the number of good men, the inflation of the female ego, and a credentialism that leads women to incorrectly imagine themselves superior to men who thrive outside their system.

    As women are hypergamous, this is a dating disaster waiting to happen.
    Men are checking out of this system as it plainly does not serve them. Some achieve outside the system, but others, particularly those indoctrinated by the system and their single moms, find no avenue for satisfying their male need for measurable achievement other than video games, whose addictive nature is their clearly defined measures of progress.

    I read an article a few years back in which economically successful Chinese women complained that there were “no good men”. The signature quote was that in China, “The A men marry B women, the B men marry C women, and all that’s left is the C men and A women”.

    Think about that for a second. This was China - a country that’s spend decades creating a massive gender imbalance with the One Child policy. How on earth can their women complain about bad odds? Likely these self-described “A women” are not as special as they think they are. At the same time, given the rampant egoism of recent history, who can blame men for marrying down and scoring themselves wives who are actually grateful for them?

    And the end of the day, this is all just more evidence that feminism is awful. If the male/female ratio at a university was 51/49, they’d scream “patriarchal oppression!”, but give them the majority, and suddenly they’re unhappy about their dating lives.
    A nation is an organic thing, historically defined.
    A wave of passionate energy which unites past, present and future generations

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