Carolyn Hax ...

We’re having this conversation because you didn’t find his race attractive. That’s what racism is.
Actually, she is correct, that is exactly what racism is. A natural affinity to selectively interact with those who most closely resemble yourself. What it is not is a dislike of other groups based on the actions or appearance of individuals. Those who define racism thus confuse it with bigotry.

Of course in the context of the article this accusation implies that her racist behavior is something to be ashamed of. As if it is something she must go out of her way to implement and likewise something she must strive to overcome. Which is nothing but BS.