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Thread: Do Men Want Children, Too? / Are Modern Men Afraid of Commitment?

  1. #31
    Senior Member Adalheid's Avatar
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    I have absolutely no idea where those child cost figures are coming from...but as a stay at home mother, homemaker and manager of our household finances, I can most definitely assure anyone interested in being assured that it costs no where near that much.

    I do buy a lot items used. I purchase full outfits made by quality brands for my daughter, but I buy them from a children's consignment store where they've seen little use. I spend roughly $50 a season on her clothes, and that includes shoes and outerwear. Most of which is then reconsigned and money is made back on the clothes that are kept in good repair.

    Food? A generous estimate would be $20 a week, only because I am adding one very small portion to our daily meals. She eats with our plates and forks, bathes with the same soap that we do, uses the same blankets (aside from some that I knitted for her).

    A lot of infant needs can be reused through many children. It's the thought that children need so much junk that creates this expensive mentality.

    The reality is that a baby needs nothing more than a dozen good sleepers (1$ each gently used), a warm blanket or two (hand knitted $5), and some cloth diapers and cloth wipes ($70 and can be used to potty training and multiple children) and a mother's breast. I didn't see any costs associated with our baby aside from these until she reached 8 months when her solid food eating became measurable and I had to buy a handful of extra vegetables a week. Family members were more than happy to buy a cute hat or little booties now and again, and the cradle was a hand me down. She went straight into a twin bed with a rail at a year old. She'll have that bed until she moves out.

    Her favourite toys were and still are my wooden spoons and her books.


    Children are expensive if you choose for them to be.

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    Account Inactive Thunir's Avatar
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    Males are as much the creatures of biology as females. An absence of desire to procreate is artificial for the majority of those who claim such; it is implanted by social engineering, and must be seen for what it is and surmounted if society is to become healthy, thriving and centred on the traditional family unit once again. Our falling birthrates may be countered by a revival of the revered position the family once had in European society.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jens View Post
    Actually kids will generally sleep at night, as long as you're able to fall back asleep after getting up at night your sleep pattern should remain relatively undisturbed.
    Let's hope their sleeping patterns are nothing like mine..

  4. #34
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    Do Men Want Children, Too? / Are Modern Men Afraid of Commitment?

    Everywhere I look around, there are women who want serious relationships, moving in with their boyfriends, marriage, etc., but complain their men are not receptive to these ideas and often run away from the idea of marriage. Here's an article explaining it:

    It seems men today overwhelmingly refuse to commit to long term relationships with women. For the most part, you’ll find that many women love relationships and commitments. They dream of their Channing Tatum or Prince Charming with whom they can reenact scenes from their favorite romantic comedy. It’s a generation of eternal bachelors whether you like it or not.

    However, men see things differently- especially this new age of men. Our thirst for new adventures is unquenchable. But the trend is not just limited to women. Studies show that members of our generation are waiting until their late 20s or early 30s to marry. Why relinquish the bachelor life when it is permissive of limitless indulgence? From a young age we became accustomed to unrealistic standards of women through pornography.

    It has contorted our minds to such a degree that studies have shown that, in men, the brain areas associated with handling tools and the intention to perform actions light up when viewing images of women in bikinis. We have truly dehumanized women and objectified the female body.

    But there is more. There is a reason why men are shifting away from the institution of marriage. Sure, we are simple minded creatures, but there is some complexity to us.

    Now more than ever we are seeing men get cold feet, call off their engagements, and break up with a girl they have been dating for 4 years. Many women are confused as to why the men of this generation are the way they are. Here are the reasons why:

    Grass is always greener

    We always want what we can’t have. Do you frequently guys struggle to restrain themselves from cheating? Straying becomes a recurring theme in their minds shortly after the honeymoon stage. Each passing girl evokes lewd fantasies in our minds.

    Any time a girl passes by the savage thoughts of what we as alpha males can do to her are always consistent and eminent. The grass always looks a lot greener on the other side, which triggers our mind to think we can always do better. It is a great trait for business, but terrible for dating.

    The first love

    Men can be extremely passionate about their first love.We all experienced that first girlfriend we loved more than anything and actually thought we would stay together forever. Unfortunately, few of us have had that Disney fairy tale ending.

    Many of us had our hearts crushed by our first love when we were so naive. We will forever compare new women to our first love and it just never truly compares to our first girl we truly loved. This heartbreak coupled with extremely low self-esteem is a primary reason for misogyny. The result is a population of men in relationships formed out of pure spite or with the ambition to move on. They carry on with these women and feign happiness, but it simply does not compare.

    Money & ambition

    Men are naturally ambitious. The alpha male mentality creates a legion of men unwilling to allow anything to impede the pursuit of their dreams. Many avoid forming relationships because they are distracting. So why not be single and test the waters? Sounds sufficient enough. You can only choose one chase in life; the dream or the girl. Most men are currently opting for the dream, it lasts longer and doesn’t have it’s period once a month.

    “I don’t know what’s better, gettin laid or gettin paid, I just know I’ma gettin one, the other’s gettin away”- Kanye West

    The competition

    As men we idolize any other guy that sleeps with a lot of women. Many men truly believe that their worth is measurable only in wealth and through their sexual prowess. In order to stay competitive among our peers, insecure men feel the need to sleep with copious amounts of women.

    You must remember everything we do in our lives is to impress women. We make money to impress them, we go to the gym to look good for them, and we work hard to do all of these things. For what exactly? To be wanted by more women, which allows us to be praised by our peers.

    Closing thought

    It’s simple; commitment-phobic men do not wish to make any long term commitments because they are easily distracted by every passing woman. We don’t want to get married because many of us have yet to move on from our first love, and no other can compare.
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/elite-...b_1812232.html

    What do the men on Skadi say about it? Is this a modern thing or has it always been that way? How many men we have who are married or in a long term relationship and how many single? It would be interesting to compare opinions.

  5. #35
    Administrator Chlodovech's Avatar
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    *Groan* The Huffingtonpost. And of course the article is utter rubbish, it's completely beside the point!

    Yes, men are going their own way and it's mostly because of the scourge of feminism (for which The Huffingtonpost is partially responsible, but not as much as Buzzfeed).

    Feminists want more women in top functions, hence there are more of these, but women also want to marry a man with more resources than themselves. A man who makes more money than them, but there are less of these men around because women took their job. Relationships in which a woman makes more money than a man usually don't last very long.

    Plus, how many of these women who still want to marry are already in their thirties? They might've studied, had a few relationships here or there and some may have been living it up and partied for a decade, but a young man of the same age who has been working hard and improved his financial and social status during that same decade and who'd be a desirable catch, will probably look for a lady in her twenties whose sexual market value is simply higher.

    And then there are the divorce settlements which result in an ex-wife running off with the kids and a guy's wealth... from a socio-economic point there's little benefit in finding a wife, not when you look at it from a modern man's perspective.

    Millennials don't even engage in sex anymore and a great number of them are single. To be a young man in a campus environment today means to be aware that you can be accused of 'rape' by insane SJW women by merely looking into their direction ("eye-rape"), under such circumstances staying home playing video games is not the worst option at all.

    And of course, both genders are confronted with the problem of 'slim pickings' in our age: men don't know how to be men anymore, confused as they are by decades of feminist and pacifist propaganda (telling them how bad they are - *toxic masculinity* - and how they are to behave) ... and they're simply undesirable, they may feel redundant and depressed because of it and lose all the confidence that would attract women. These men may even be 'nice guys', and many women may say they want 'nice guys', but in the end they really don't. Likewise, women have become more unattractive to men - simply because they're less feminine ... and it has gone so far that it influences the way women dress and talk.

    Most women still want to have kids and a lot of them still want to marry, but feminism has pretty much ruined those plans.

    Because of all of this there are movements such as MGTOW and MRA which enjoy some success amongst men. The goal of the traditionalist side of these movements is to get society and women to ditch feminism and embrace traditional gender roles again.

    But those men's rights movements underestimate the number of NAWALTs ("Not All women Are Like That") though, speaking of my own nation, I'd say there are still more good ladies than bad ones around these parts - I suspect the Flemish character has internalized Catholicism and that's why.
    "And how can man die better than facing fearful odds, for the ashes of his fathers, and the temples of his Gods?" - Thomas Babington Macaulay

  6. #36
    Proffessional Hickerbilly SpearBrave's Avatar
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    It is getting too late for me to have children and enjoy them, I have had a failed marriage mostly caused by subtle modern feminism in a indirect way.

    Sure I want female friends and enjoy women's views and companionship, but right now I don't want the romantic or sexual relationship. I am of the feeling more and more than it is more trouble than it is worth.

    Perhaps also men are wanting to live for themselves and do the things they like doing. I used to love riding my bike and it was always seen as a manly thing, but lately I see women riding bikes and even the men on the back.

    Even in my choice vocation this "girl power" thing has taken off. Smiths are supposed to strong and rough, not all these women around. The same goes with hunting though I don't have as strong as feeling about that.

    Lately what is really upset me is how it is habit for men around here to hold the doors open for ladies, now woman are taking offense to even that. I'm tellin ya it is harder and harder for a man to be a gentleman without being criticized. One woman even told me in a very snotty voice " no, I can open my own doors....thank you", well me being the smart ass I am sometimes I slammed it shut on her and she almost walked into it, the she gave this pissed off look.

    Long Story in short form, I would not say afraid of commitment, I will say afraid of being treated like crap just for being a man.

    Red green explains relationships
    Life is like a fire hydrant- sometimes you help people put out their fires, but most of the time you just get peed on by every dog in the neighborhood.

  7. #37
    Senior Member Æmeric's Avatar
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    Commitment is a two-way street. A lot of American men have been burned in the family courts. Most marriages fail because one spouse - usually the wife - gets bored and decides to end her boring marriage. The husband usually is the one who is expelled from the family home, the mother gets the children, the father gets to make child support payments. A lot of men who are now afraid to make commitments were raised by mothers who divorced their fathers (usually for no good reason) and moved on to a series of other husbands and/or boyfriends.

    I have a sister who has done this more this once and a brother who was a victim of a shrewish wife.

  8. #38
    Senior Member Catterick's Avatar
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    Society punishes not rewards men for their commitment. Furthermore delayed adolescence means men explore at 30 what they used to at 13.

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    Senior Member Mööv's Avatar
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    I was married a long time ago and have a daughter who will be turning 15 this summer. I divorced my wife due to her being mentally very unstable and causing all sorts of problems. She seems to be unable to function properly in a long-term relationship. I got the custody over our child.
    I did not marry again. Not because I don't want to (I do) or having some fear of it (I don't), but because women are becoming more and more weird by the year and they just don't want to commit. They'd rather get drunk, smoke weed, have sex with anyone they meet and roll in their vomit until their late 30's. And those that are not like that are usually barricaded in their homes and unmeetable. Everything seems to be going into extremes. I don't like that.
    By the pricking of my thumbs,
    Something wicked this way comes.
    Open, locks,
    Whoever knocks.

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    Proffessional Hickerbilly SpearBrave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catterick View Post
    Society punishes not rewards men for their commitment. Furthermore delayed adolescence means men explore at 30 what they used to at 13.
    Yes, that is true in many cases. Kids are having sex at much younger age than they did even when I was young.

    Do mean exploring as having a sense for adventure or are they two different things?
    Life is like a fire hydrant- sometimes you help people put out their fires, but most of the time you just get peed on by every dog in the neighborhood.

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