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Thread: The Art of Being a Gentleman

  1. #121
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elizabeth View Post
    It is a strain to open some doors and pull out chairs. I guess it depends on the woman. I'm glad most supermarkets have automatic opening doors. There is one small Italian store I'd like to shop more often in but the door is so hard to open. I've given up and passed by the store instead of entering because the door is so hard to open. I just don't have the strength. I'd wait until someone was leaving and then try to wedge my way in. Seriously. And it looks bad straining to hold it open to get in. You'd think the owner doesn't want customers.
    Is it me or do I live in some back water area where us men still open doors and pull out chairs for women?

    The best is when you see very young boys trying open doors for women. By starting this young it becomes a habit and we do it without thinking.
    Life is like a fire hydrant- sometimes you help people put out their fires, but most of the time you just get peed on by every dog in the neighborhood.

  2. #122
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    Last month. I was gassing the truck up at a filling station in the city. I was walking up to door to go inside and pay and I noticed some people coming from their vehicles behind me.

    First to come was an attractive twenty-something blonde woman. I held the door open as I always have for women. She smugly grinned and said that she doesn't need a man to hold open a door for her and that such gestures are archaic and even considered sexist these days.

    I just replied with a wink "I wasn't holding it open for you miss. I'm doing it for the lady behind you."

    An elderly woman with a cane made her way through the door and thanked me kindly. The younger woman looked rather offended at what I said and stomped away.

    Ah feminism...

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  4. #123
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sjoerd View Post
    First to come was an attractive twenty-something blonde woman. I held the door open as I always have for women. She smugly grinned and said that she doesn't need a man to hold open a door for her and that such gestures are archaic and even considered sexist these days.

    I just replied with a wink "I wasn't holding it open for you miss. I'm doing it for the lady behind you."

    An elderly woman with a cane made her way through the door and thanked me kindly. The younger woman looked rather offended at what I said and stomped away.

    Ah feminism...
    I had something similar happen to me.

    Mine was it was a glass door and I was on the inside and woman comes walking up to the door and without thinking I opened the door for and she said " I don't need a man to open any doors for me " in a real smart ass tone. I shut the door real quickly and she ran her face into the door. I just smiled and gave her a nod and walked away.

    The sad thing was she was an attractive middle aged woman until she opened her mouth with her snotty attitude, then she became real ugly real fast.
    Life is like a fire hydrant- sometimes you help people put out their fires, but most of the time you just get peed on by every dog in the neighborhood.

  5. #124
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    Where I live, chivalry and etiquette are rare, especially with the youth, they see it as outdated. Many even lack basic courtesy, like allowing others to exit before they enter somewhere. So seeing boys hold doors for women is a novelty. Both genders may find it awkward. Some women may confuse it with flirting, others with pity because it's usually a gesture for the elderly, like giving up seats on a bus. So if a woman is surprised by such gesture, it's not necessarily a display of bad manners, she might just misinterpret it and not want to feel like an inconvenience or cripple. That's also the attitude of some boys - she's young and able, she can hold her own door, so why should I?

  6. #125
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    Yes, gentlemen are hard to find nowadays. I've noticed a tendency for media to push feminine, homosexual or androgynous images for men while women become masculinized or feminist. Isn't it ironic how feminists are typically unfeminine? It's true there are just as few ladies, but if we all give up old fashioned, courteous behavior, the situation only becomes worse...

  7. #126
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    My husband is a gentleman and was always so. However, being a gentleman does not only mean being courteous and respectful towards women, it also means respecting the elderly and frail, opening and holding doors, being polite and displaying some etiquette in general.

  8. #127
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    GENTLEMEN ARE RARE: Columnist Sites Seven Things Millennial Men Are Missing

    The other day I had just finished up a long day of studying at the library and I was riding the elevator down to the first floor. A guy probably a year or two older than me got on the elevator, and after we reached the first floor, he barged off, nearly knocking me over with his backpack. My first thought of course was “Wow..who raised you?!” Throughout my entire drive home, I thought about all of the things that most men have apparently stopped doing when it comes to being a gentleman.

    1. Elevator etiquette

    I don’t care how big of a hurry you’re in, or how slow she may walk, if there is a female or five on the elevator with you, you hold your arm in the door and let them off first.

    2. R-E-S-P-E-C-T (sing it to the tune of Aretha Franklin)

    If a female walks past you, for God’s sake, do not turn your head and stare at her behind. If she is talking to you, don’t stare down her shirt. If you’re driving down the road, don’t honk or yell “hey sexy!!!!” Gross. Undressing a girl with your eyes is one of the most disgusting and degrading things you could possibly do to her. Don’t worry about getting a date, you’ve already ruined it by being a pig.

    3. Give up your seat.

    I see a lack of this all the time. The other day I watched two guys get up and offer their seats to women, and one remained seating. I could tell which ones were raised correctly. Whether she is old, young, pregnant, active, fat, skinny, whatever; if the bus, classroom, etc. is full, get up from your chair and offer your seat to a female who is standing. If you chose to stay in your seat and force ladies to remain standing, make sure you remember to take off your maxi pad on the way out. (oops, did I just say that?!)

    4. Pay attention to the fact that the world is more threatening for females

    We are automatic targets everywhere we go, especially at night. I don’t need to get into the subject of rape. Walk your female coworkers to their cars at night. Just watch out for the women around you, they’ll definitely appreciate it.

    5. Be polite.

    Being polite covers a pretty wide range of things. For example, if you see someone struggling to reach something on the top shelf, grab it for her. If she’s struggling while trying to carry a flat screen television through Best Buy, offer to help. Even if she declines, at least you’ve been polite. A smile and a “good morning” can go a long way. Trust me, after we’ve had a rough morning of waking up late, rushing to work/class, and forgetting things at home, we do appreciate a little bit of random kindness.

    About a month ago I was literally having the worst day possible.There was a guy in the elevator with me in the library (why am I always here?) and he asked how my day was going. Of course, I took this one minute opportunity to complain about nursing school and how much I had to study that day. He wished me good luck on my upcoming tests and to have a much better day. I didn’t even know his name but it made my WEEK.. and I still remember it. Compliment a lady today. They aren’t going to automatically assume that you want to have babies with them just because you said they look nice today. You would be surprised by what can make a woman smile. Little things, men. Little things.

    6. Hold the door.

    This subject is really difficult for me because i’ve had super awkward experiences. I’m one of those girls who always ends up having to sprint to the door because I feel bad that this guy is having to stand there and hold it open for me while I sluggishly walk to the door carrying two books, a binder, and a laptop. If we are pretty far behind, we don’t expect you to hold the door open for us. It makes us feel like we need to hurry to the door. However, if there is a woman walking behind you or relatively close behind you, do NOT let a door shut on her.

    7. Driveway etiquette

    I can already tell that I’m going to be one of those moms who is a stickler to this with her children. My son will know that he will NOT drive up to a female’s house and honk the horn or shoot her a text that says “I’m here, come get in the car.” If a guy comes to pick my future daughter up for a date, and he honks the horn or texts her to pick her up, I’m going to walk outside and tell him to go home. Walk up to the door, knock on the door, and then walk her to your car. At the end of the night, walk her back to her door. I don’t care if you’re just friends or you’re married. It’s what you’re supposed to do.

    Guys: man up. Bring back gentlemanly behaviors. It would definitely be appreciated.
    https://clashdaily.com/2014/03/gentl...l-men-missing/

  9. #128
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    Columnist Sites Seven Things Millennial Men Are Missing

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  11. #129
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    Okay, so let’s examine this lady’s desiderata:

    1, 3 & 6 are all problematic. I still think there’s a slight majority that would favour elevator etiquette, holding the door & giving up seats but you’d have to choose your females very carefully. One stroppy reaction could ruin your day and on most student campuses it would be positively DANGEROUS!!!

    5. Being polite – this goes without saying. I’m not sure why this advice is aimed at males though when females could just as easily compliment males, who also have ‘bad days’ and need cheering up

    2. It depends what she’s wearing but yes, I’d say that ogling was generally something to be avoided.

    4. Hmmmm … is the world really more threatening for females? I could cite a lot of cases where the opposite is true.

    7. Never been in a 'driveway etiquette’ situation. I agree about the texting when you’re sitting outside someone's house (texting is an obsession with some people! ) but I wonder how many daughters would want their rude Mums telling their boyfriends to go home? I mean, is it really her business?

    Anyway, I’m sure that most men would be happy to comply with the above demands if this was what all women wanted. The problem is that there’s no consensus and one woman’s ‘gentleman’ will be another woman’s ‘sexist’

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  13. #130
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    While always holding a door for both men and women of all ages, rather they're handicapped or not, I've only received a single disapproving expression from one middle-aged woman who never said anything against my considerate gesture though.

    One older lady not only thanked me, but stated there weren't too many gentlemen left in the world.

    Sometimes juveniles will act as if I don't exist while holding a door for them to enter or exit. Sign of the times, I suppose, which is sad.
    Aside from an ever increasing number of mortals who have willfully chosen to worship Satan and his minions, our battle has always been against the powers and principalities operating surreptitiously throughout this twisted world.

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