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Thread: The Art of Being a Gentleman

  1. #51
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    Post Re: The extinction of the Gentleman

    http://www.astro.umd.edu/~marshall/chivalry.html

    The Code of Chivalry

    I wanted to put these here because I think that there are some good ideals within the code of chivalry. Plus it's interesting to see how our ideas about chivalry and/or honor have changed with time. Sure, some of this is obviously outdated and probably not very useful, but some of it is still good advice; I'm sure you'll recognize which points are useful even today.

    The Ten Commandments of the Code of Chivalry

    From Chivalry by Leon Gautier
    1. Thou shalt believe all that the Church teaches, and shalt observe all its directions.
    2. Thou shalt defend the Church.
    3. Thou shalt repect all weaknesses, and shalt constitute thyself the defender of them.
    4. Thou shalt love the country in the which thou wast born.
    5. Thou shalt not recoil before thine enemy.
    6. Thou shalt make war against the Infidel without cessation, and without mercy.
    7. Thou shalt perform scrupulously thy feudal duties, if they be not contrary to the laws of God.
    8. Thou shalt never lie, and shall remain faithful to thy pledged word.
    9. Thou shalt be generous, and give largess to everyone.
    10. Thou shalt be everywhere and always the champion of the Right and the Good against Injustice and Evil.
    The Code of Chivalry

    From the Rifts: England Supplement

    I'm pretty sure I got this list somewhere else, but I haven't found out where. Still, some reference is better than none, so thanks to Jeremy Treanor for giving me this one.
    • Live to serve King and Country.
    • Live to defend Crown and Country and all it holds dear.
    • Live one's life so that it is worthy of respect and honor.
    • Live for freedom, justice and all that is good.
    • Never attack an unarmed foe.
    • Never use a weapon on an opponent not equal to the attack.
    • Never attack from behind.
    • Avoid lying to your fellow man.
    • Avoid cheating.
    • Avoid torture.
    • Obey the law of king, country, and chivalry.
    • Administer justice.
    • Protect the innocent.
    • Exhibit self control.
    • Show respect to authority.
    • Respect women.
    • Exhibit Courage in word and deed.
    • Defend the weak and innocent.
    • Destroy evil in all of its monstrous forms.
    • Crush the monsters that steal our land and rob our people.
    • Fight with honor.
    • Avenge the wronged.
    • Never abandon a friend, ally, or noble cause.
    • Fight for the ideals of king, country, and chivalry.
    • Die with valor.
    • Always keep one's word of honor.
    • Always maintain one's principles.
    • Never betray a confidence or comrade.
    • Avoid deception.
    • Respect life and freedom.
    • Die with honor.
    • Exhibit manners.
    • Be polite and attentive.
    • Be respectful of host, women, and honor.
    • Loyalty to country, King, honor, freedom, and the code of chivalry.
    • Loyalty to one's friends and those who lay their trust in thee.
    Rules of Courtly Love

    I wanted to put these here because I think that there are some good ideas in these sets of rules. It's also interesting to see how our ideas about love have changed with time (OK, so we don't exactly have the idea of courtly love around anymore, but still). Some of this is certainly outdated and probably not very useful, but some of it is still good advice; I'm sure you'll recognize which points are useful even today. Both lists apparently come from the same source, The Art of Courtly Love by Andreas Capellanus. Thanks to Mark Lipsman for pointing out an error (now corrected) in point 2 of the second list below.

    The Twelve Chief Rules in Love

    From The Art of Courtly Love by Andreas Capellanus
    1. Thou shalt avoid avarice like the deadly pestilence and shalt embrace its opposite.
    2. Thou shalt keep thyself chaste for the sake of her whom thou lovest.
    3. Thou shalt not knowingly strive to break up a correct love affair that someone else is engaged in.
    4. Thou shalt not chose for thy love anyone whom a natural sense of shame forbids thee to marry.
    5. Be mindful completely to avoid falsehood.
    6. Thou shalt not have many who know of thy love affair.
    7. Being obedient in all things to the commands of ladies, thou shalt ever strive to ally thyself to the service of Love.
    8. In giving and receiving love's solaces let modesty be ever present.
    9. Thou shalt speak no evil.
    10. Thou shalt not be a revealer of love affairs.
    11. Thou shalt be in all things polite and courteous.
    12. In practising the solaces of love thou shalt not exceed the desires of thy lover.
    The Art of Courtly Love

    From The Art of Courtly Love by Andreas Capellanus
    1. Marriage is no real excuse for not loving.
    2. He who is not jealous cannot love.
    3. No one can be bound by a double love.
    4. It is well known that love is always increasing or decreasing.
    5. That which a lover takes against the will of his beloved has no relish.
    6. Boys do not love until they reach the age of maturity.
    7. When one lover dies, a widowhood of two years is required of the survivor.
    8. No one should be deprived of love without the very best of reasons.
    9. No one can love unless he is propelled by the persuasion of love.
    10. Love is always a stranger in the home of avarice.
    11. It is not proper to love any woman whom one would be ashamed to seek to marry.
    12. A true lover does not desire to embrace in love anyone except his beloved.
    13. When made public love rarely endures.
    14. The easy attainment of love makes it of little value: difficulty of attainment makes it prized.
    15. Every lover regularly turns pale in the presence of his beloved.
    16. When a lover suddenly catches sight of his beloved his heart palpitates.
    17. A new love puts an old one to flight.
    18. Good character alone makes any man worthy of love.
    19. If love diminishes, it quickly fails and rarely revives.
    20. A man in love is always apprehensive.
    21. Real jealousy always increases the feeling of love.
    22. Jealousy increases when one suspects his beloved.
    23. He whom the thought of love vexes eats and sleeps very little.
    24. Every act of a lover ends in the thought of his beloved.
    25. A true lover considers nothing good except what he thinks will please his beloved.
    26. Love can deny nothing to love.
    27. A lover can never have enough of the solaces of his beloved.
    28. A slight presumption causes a lover to suspect his beloved.
    29. A man who is vexed by too much passion usually does not love.
    30. A true lover is constantly and without intermission possessed by the thought of his beloved.
    31. Nothing forbids one woman being loved by two men or one man by two women.
    Last edited by BodewinTheSilent; Saturday, November 27th, 2004 at 09:48 PM.

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    Post Re: The extinction of the Gentleman

    BodewinTheSilent "In my opinion much of this is due to a growling, bitter feminism [I have experienced this myself] and the shyness of some men as well."

    This is very true. I would imagine that it could be very difficult for a man to deal with.


    Today's world is rude and crude. Sadly, people take very little stock into honor... and have a poor values, morals and scruples. Given the state of society, some men feel that it may be acceptable to behave in a certain manner that is really not acceptable behavior for a gentleman. Others allow them to get away with this. For instance... A man treats a lady in a disrespectful manner and she fails to communicate to him that his behavior is not acceptable. He may not realize he's done anything wrong or believes it is ok to treat her this way. He will continue to do so..
    Could be an ugly cycle. Or quite possibly I'm just cynical.

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    People are acting like those around them. Children should be taught in school how to behave properly. Its all learned behaviour.

    Too often these days theres people who only do nice things to get nice things in return.

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    I'll give you a hint as to why the decline and eventual disappearance of chivalry happened.....Women had somthing to do with it....

    [ Chivalry in it's romantic context of relationships anyways.]


    Now if we are talking about chivalry as a manner of propriety and civility I assure you they are nothing but fictional fancies of history in that civility is often enough pure fantasy in civilization.

    Barbarity and strife is the norm in the history of our species.

    It always has been, it still is, and it always will be.

    [Modern overhyped sense of extreme selfish egotistical individualism centered around self indulgence versus the welfare of social collectivism doesn't help either when combined with prevailing themes in history but instead worsens them.]
    National Socialism is the only salvation for Germanics and Europids everywhere. Capitalism, libertarianism, and communism is the enemy.

    National socialized collectivism must prevail over radical individualism.

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    I for one would like to see more gentlemanly and proper behavior exhibited in discussions here on Skadi. The internet is a great place to practice our manners.

    If someone is wrong, one should say, "I beg to differ..." or "I see things differently..." or "I respectfully disagree.." rather than blast someone as a "fool" or worse. It is even more grating to me to see it done to members of the fair sex. No wonder so many males these days can't find a mate! Who could blame the ladies for wanting to avoid a generation of self-important boorish roosters who can't be civil for one second?

    I am not refined enough myself to claim the lofty title of "Gentleman", but what an aspiration! What a chance for self-improvement each day gives us. Our traditional values held that welcome strangers, ladies, and peers were treated with respect and kindness. Have we degraded to the point that we can no longer speak to our kinsmen and kinswomen with respect and with the same honor that the ancestors gave to total strangers?

    While debate is welcome and disagreements are a possible outcome of such discourse, let us make up our minds to follow in the path of those who came before us and treat one another as though we value them as our fellow Germanics.

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    It goes both ways on that Zimo.

    When you have females that can't act the least ladylike, but strut around as if they've been done wrong because they were born without a penis, can they expect to be treated any better than they are?

    Now, females, that actually ACT like LADIES, should, indeed, be treated as such, as males who act like MEN should be treated with respect, for both are rare in this day and age.

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    Sciuirse Morrigna, I can certainly see your point and it is well made by the misbehavior of many females. Where I might take disagreement is that I see chivalry as means of self-improvement, not as a means to improve others.

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    I don't think that gentlemen have been completley wiped out all together.
    There are a few gems still left.
    My dear friend Alexander is one of them. He really is a true gentleman, treats me and others with such respect and acts so civil to people he meets. If he doesn't like someone for whatever reason, he doesn't say so infront of them. Instead he waits until they've left and will say "I didn't actually like that person very much". He's very polite and considerate and steps in if he sees someone being rude towards me or anyone else that he knows.
    And when I first met him, he kissed the back of my hand.

    To get back on topic, even though chivalry hasn't completley dissapeared, there are some unsavoury utter cads that I've come across who are more Chauvanistic than Chivalrous, and that just riles me right up.
    A few of them I've come across at work unfortunately. Old fashioned cads.....

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    Quote Originally Posted by Astrid Runa View Post
    If he doesn't like someone for whatever reason, he doesn't say so infront of them. Instead he waits until they've left and will say "I didn't actually like that person very much".
    While I support the rest of your post, this is actually a coward's way. If you don't like someone, tell them to their face or remain silent. But slandering behind someones back is deceitful and contemptible, however polite the slandering person might express his views.
    And the day they sold us out, Our hearts grew cold
    'Cause we were never asked, No brother, we were told!
    What do they know of Europe, Who only Europe know?



    Ancient DNA: List of All Studies analyzing DNA of Ancient Tribes and Ethnicities(post-2010)


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    Rules of Civility

    Once upon a time... male children were expected to memorize the 110 precepts laid out in the text, "Rules of Civility and Decent Behaivor in Company and Conversation" as a part of their Grammar School education. No longer a requirement. No training in the Art of Being a Gentleman, no Gentlemen. Simple as that...

    Now, "Get the F@#* out of my way you S%$#"!

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