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Thread: The Art of Being a Gentleman

  1. #11
    Senior Member Gladstone's Avatar
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    Post Re: What makes a gentleman, a gentleman ?

    Quote Originally Posted by SKADI
    And alot of ladies men have these traits as well......(the true gentlemen type as mentioned above). Beware of the man that wields the sword of a gentleman...for he knows his power over a fair lady,... underlying a heart of deceitful gratification...that he hides so gracefully...
    Yeah, a lot of the womanizing ladies men do know this. These men have realized one of the things women desire most is to be simply treated properly (ie fairly) and not abused and the fellow who has figured that out has a lot going for him. Course, the womanizer is abusing that secret knowledge for his own purposes but I have to think (and not that this excuses what he is doing) that amongst many of the women that fall for that type (particularly if more than once), that something is not quite right with them either.
    Turman found a copy of The Graduate, and thought highly enough of the story that he made a movie he considered to be 90-percent faithful to the book.

    But Turman and director Mike Nichols made one key adaptation, changing the Braddocks from WASP-y blonde characters into a dark-haired, more ethnic-looking family.

    From NPR's Present at the Creation

    http://www.npr.org/programs/morning/features/patc/graduate/

    http://www.norcalmovies.com/TheGraduate/tg11.jpg

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    Post Re: What makes a gentleman, a gentleman ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Pushkin
    I believe gentlemen are made from character, not from social class. A peasent or a worker can be just as much a gentleman as any member of the elites.
    I didn't say social class - I expressly said 'race' and 'blood'.
    That is RACIAL CLASS.

    The etymology of words like gen-tle man [Nietzsche gives a whole host of examples in his 'Genealogy of Morals'] show that the concept is properly racial.

    As Klages wrote;

    "Nobility belongs EXCLUSIVELY to the man of Race.
    There is NO SUCH THING as moral nobility, only a moral 'egoism' ...
    A sense of Honour is INBORN in every aristocrat, and the duel is the knightly principle in carnate ..."
    [Ludwig Klarges, from Aphorism 48 - my emphases]

    For notions of 'honour' and the 'duel' see the posts in the Politics and Philosophy forums which treat the work of David Myatt.
    Why are there beings at all, & why not rather nothing?
    [Leibniz/Heidegger]

  3. #13
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    Post Re: What makes a gentleman, a gentleman ?

    Quote Originally Posted by SKADI
    I find your mention of God disturbing. What God in particular?....oh ..the big pompous male that was supposed to have created us....BULL.
    I was refering to God in a very general sense. For the record, I was not talking about the Christian God per se. Chivalry and the notions of honour it is based on are a Christian twist on values that seen in many cultures.

    The Japanese have Bushido for example; which is similar to Chivalry in many ways. Yet Bushido is based on Buddhism not Christianity; so it has both a particular Japanese and Buddhist nature to it. Many of the notions seen in Chivalry are seen in pre-Christian Europe as well. Yet in all cases without hardly any exception; codes for honourable behavior place great emphasis on religion and the belief of God(s).

    I'm hardly suprised that Sparta was both the most military powerful and the most religious of the Greek city states. War was not conducted without consul from the Gods first, and never was war fought during times of religious festivels.

    So when I said God, I was refering to the strong belief in a deity and moral ethics on which any decent religion upholds.

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    Post Re: What makes a gentleman, a gentleman ?

    Another interesting site on being a gentleman
    http://www.lahacal.org/gentleman/

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    Post Re: What makes a gentleman, a gentleman ?

    http://www.askmen.com/money/successful/41_success.html

    Etiquette Of A Gentleman

    By Michael Bucci

    One only needs to take a quick glance around to notice that there are very few true gentlemen remaining among us. In times past, a gentleman was much appreciated and being gentlemanly was a noble thing.
    Alas, things have changed in today's society; some for the better and some for the worse. One thing that particularly irks me is the lack of good taste and etiquette most guys are guilty of at the turn of this new millennium.

    I'm not saying that men should act like robots and be slaves to etiquette, but some basic good manners will go a long way in helping you during your ascent to the top.

    What I've done is compile a quick list of tips that will help turn even the most blundering fool into a proper gentleman. Follow these simple tips and I can assure you that people will perceive you as a man of good breeding and taste, hence a man they wish to associate and conduct business with. Not to mention the fact that the ladies are always quite pleased to meet a real gentleman.

    general etiquette


    Always be polite
    Even if you don't like someone, there is no need to lower yourself to their level. Be polite and courteous; show that you're the better man.

    Do not curse
    Swearing is a big no-no. It shows that you don't have the vocabulary to express your thoughts appropriately. Furthermore, it is always very crude and impolite to be vulgar.

    Do not speak loudly
    When you speak loudly, it raises the stress level among company. It always implies that you can't reason with people and rely on "brute force" to get your point across. It also draws attention -- negative attention.

    Do not lose your temper
    When you lose your temper, you are showing everyone that you can't control your emotions. If you can't even control yourself, then how can you possibly control anything else? Keep your cool at all times (it won't be easy but it is worth the effort) and people will take positive note of your levelheadedness.

    Do not stare
    Ogling someone is the equivalent of psychological aggression. You don't want to intimidate people for no reason.

    Do not interrupt
    Let people finish what they are saying before adding your comments. Interrupting others is a sign of poor etiquette and a lack of social skills. If you want to come across as egotistical, you can do so by constantly interrupting.

    Do not spit
    A lot of men do this almost subconsciously. Spitting is very crude and not too pretty to look at. Do not spit in public unless you want to look like you were raised in a sewer.

    Respect your elders
    In fact, you should respect others as you would like them to respect you. I am specifying elders because it seems that today, young men think they know it all. Well, they don't. Just think of yourself five years ago... you're much smarter and experienced today, aren't you? Of course, yet you thought you knew it all five years ago.

    Do not laugh at others' mistakes
    This is perhaps one of the cruelest things one can do. When you mess up, the last thing you want is for someone not only to bring it to your attention, but to ridicule you on top of that.

    Remove your hat indoors
    This rule seems to have gone out the window these days. You should remove your headwear upon entering a building. Furthermore, never keep your hat on while at the dinner table. It reflects very poor etiquette.

    Wait for seating before eating
    When sitting down for a meal, you should wait until all the guests are properly seated and ready to commence the meal before eating. Everyone should start dining at the same time; this is a subtle but very important rule.

    the basics of chivalry



    In addition to the aforementioned rules, gentlemen (in training) should follow these additional rules when in the presence of a lady. Chivalry may be on life support, but it is not dead yet. Be one of the few to keep this flame burning for many years to come.

    Always open doors
    This is perhaps the most basic rule of male etiquette out there. It is also one of the easiest to follow so you have no reason to forget it. Whether she is about to enter your car, restaurant, club, or anyplace with a door, you should always hold it open. If there are many doors, then hold them open one after the other.

    Put on her coat
    Always help a lady put on her coat or overgarment. This is a simple but powerful action.

    Help with her seat
    If an unaccompanied lady is sitting next to you, it is important that you help her be seated by pulling her chair out for her and gently pushing it back into place, with the lady seated of course.

    Give up your seat
    If a lady arrives at the table and there are no available seats, you should stand up and offer yours to her.

    Stand at attention
    Always stand when a lady enters or exits the room. This rule has been somewhat relaxed, so you can stand upon entrance but remain seated upon exit. Nonetheless, if you can do both, you should.

    Give her your arm
    When escorting a lady (that you know) to and from social events, you should offer her your arm. This is a little more intimate, but serves well when walking on uneven ground -- especially if she's wearing high heels.

    Ask if she needs anything
    This is one that most guys already do, but helps complete the gentleman in all of us nevertheless. When at social events, make sure to ask the lady if you can get her something to drink (or eat, depending on the event). Show her that you care about her comfort and needs.

    Gentlemen, if I may call you that, these are the rules of etiquette you should observe in everyday life. Elevate yourself above the rabble and display the mannerisms of a true gentleman. The world will appreciate such a rarity and your career will most definitely benefit from your good manners and savoir-faire.

  6. #16
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    Post Re: What makes a gentleman, a gentleman ?

    http://www.askmen.com/money/successf...6_success.html

    Etiquette Of A Gentleman: Part II
    By John Samuel
    Success Correspondent - Every 2nd Saturday

    What do James Bond and Cary Grant have in common? They represent the quintessential gentleman. It's what makes them so charming and beloved. They are smooth and suave, and know how to behave in every situation. What do they have that I don't? you must be asking yourself. Nothing, it's just that they read the book on etiquette. Although one might think they're a staple of a bygone era, true gentlemen never go out of style.
    basic good manners



    Don't flaunt your riches
    Nobody likes a braggart. Keep your assets vague if you have to discuss financial matters. You can wear expensive things without blowing your own trumpet.

    Never let others see you looking at your watch
    When you're amid company, ask for the time or look at your watch only if you're ready to leave right that instant. When others notice you glancing at the time, it can be interpreted as boredom. Be inconspicuous.

    Never groom yourself in public
    This includes picking your nose, chewing your nails and picking your teeth. These areas should only be ventured in private. Committing these acts overtly is a colossal mark of a lack of class.

    Be punctual
    Perhaps the greatest sign of respect, which is what a gentleman is all about, is being on time. Having people wait for you is the equivalent of telling them that you don't care about them.

    Shake hands firmly
    Your handshake should mirror your personality. You want the other person to think of you as someone resolved, concrete and positive. But it shouldn't be a test of your strength; don't hurt them. Your grip should be the same for women.

    Apply constant verbal grace
    Use "excuse me" or "I beg your pardon" for all occasions. An extension of politeness, you should always use these expressions, whether it's to get someone to move out of your way, to apologize for your upcoming journey to the men's room, or simply to signal your interlocutors that you're about to start a sentence.

    Tip well and discreetly
    Only tip when it's called for, as opposed to those occasions when it's simply awkward (i.e. hospital nurses or business messenger). When you do tip, don't be cheap. Respect the 15% gratuity for restaurant tabs and nothing less than $10 for a significantly useful maitre d'.

    Project high moral values
    Even if you know that deep down you're not, appear as if you were virtuous. A real gentleman always comes out of everything smelling like a rose.

    party etiquette



    The following tips apply for those occasions when you are venturing out into social events and get-togethers. God forbid you didn't know how to act like the gentleman you are.

    Acknowledge your acquaintances
    Don't play hide & seek with the people you know, even if you don't feel like talking to them. Bite the bullet, initiate the mandatory greetings, and get it over with.

    Address new acquaintances by their title and last name
    Doctor and military ranks are important to the people who have these titles. Mr. and Mrs. should be used for the others (if you're unsure about a woman's marital status, use Ms. when addressing her). Wait until they ask you to use their first name before doing so. There's nothing more irritating than someone who uses your first name two minutes after having met you.

    Look at your interlocutor
    Your attention should always be focused on the person you are talking with. Always look at them when listening as well as when you are in control of the conversation. Again, it's a question of respect.

    At dinner, address those on your left and right
    Unless it's a frat house keg fest, don't shout across the table -- concentrate on those closest to you. This will keep the proceedings calm and orderly.

    Never remove coat or necktie when in company
    By keeping your clothes on, you show that you consider the other guests important enough for you to remain fashionably tip-top.

    Only talk when you've been formally introduced
    Which is why the phrases "Have we met?" or "Have we been introduced?" are so handy. If you feel like speaking to somebody, find a person the two of you have in common and arrange a proper introduction.

    Let your social superiors address you first
    Unless you are on intimate terms, always let your social superior address you. This may seem archaic, but think of it in modern terms. You see Bill Gates at the party; do you go talk to him? Not unless you want his bodyguard to intervene. It can be clumsy, so arrange an introduction.

    feeling gallant?



    You know how to act around the ladies, don't you?

    Never smoke in the presence of a lady unless invited to
    In this age of political correctness it has almost become a given. While she may not ask you to, make sure you do request her permission.

    Remove the cigar from your lips if a lady passes by
    This one is pure common sense. It's a security measure as well as an indicator of high regard.

    Offer your seat to women
    Classics are always fashionable. Some feminists would certainly have a fit, but most women will definitely value the gesture.

    Always carry a woman's packages
    Let's face it; today's women would probably shoot you a puzzled fleeting look, so at least offer to do so. This lets her know you respect her and are courteous enough to inquire as to her comfort.

    Finally, while excessive chivalry is what drove Don Quixote to madness, good manners are never uninvited in this era of fast business and faster relationships. Remember that behaving like a gentleman brings out the lady in every woman.

    party etiquette



    The following tips apply for those occasions when you are venturing out into social events and get-togethers. God forbid you didn't know how to act like the gentleman you are.

    Acknowledge your acquaintances
    Don't play hide & seek with the people you know, even if you don't feel like talking to them. Bite the bullet, initiate the mandatory greetings, and get it over with.

    Address new acquaintances by their title and last name
    Doctor and military ranks are important to the people who have these titles. Mr. and Mrs. should be used for the others (if you're unsure about a woman's marital status, use Ms. when addressing her). Wait until they ask you to use their first name before doing so. There's nothing more irritating than someone who uses your first name two minutes after having met you.

    Look at your interlocutor
    Your attention should always be focused on the person you are talking with. Always look at them when listening as well as when you are in control of the conversation. Again, it's a question of respect.

    At dinner, address those on your left and right
    Unless it's a frat house keg fest, don't shout across the table -- concentrate on those closest to you. This will keep the proceedings calm and orderly.

    Never remove coat or necktie when in company
    By keeping your clothes on, you show that you consider the other guests important enough for you to remain fashionably tip-top.

    Only talk when you've been formally introduced
    Which is why the phrases "Have we met?" or "Have we been introduced?" are so handy. If you feel like speaking to somebody, find a person the two of you have in common and arrange a proper introduction.

    Let your social superiors address you first
    Unless you are on intimate terms, always let your social superior address you. This may seem archaic, but think of it in modern terms. You see Bill Gates at the party; do you go talk to him? Not unless you want his bodyguard to intervene. It can be clumsy, so arrange an introduction.

    feeling gallant?



    You know how to act around the ladies, don't you?

    Never smoke in the presence of a lady unless invited to
    In this age of political correctness it has almost become a given. While she may not ask you to, make sure you do request her permission.

    Remove the cigar from your lips if a lady passes by
    This one is pure common sense. It's a security measure as well as an indicator of high regard.

    Offer your seat to women
    Classics are always fashionable. Some feminists would certainly have a fit, but most women will definitely value the gesture.

    Always carry a woman's packages
    Let's face it; today's women would probably shoot you a puzzled fleeting look, so at least offer to do so. This lets her know you respect her and are courteous enough to inquire as to her comfort.

    Finally, while excessive chivalry is what drove Don Quixote to madness, good manners are never uninvited in this era of fast business and faster relationships. Remember that behaving like a gentleman brings out the lady in every woman.

  7. #17
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    Post Re: What makes a gentleman, a gentleman ?

    Remember that behaving like a gentleman brings out the lady in every woman.
    Actually I would dispute that! Being a gentleman does not always bring out the lady in every woman. Theres at least one incident where women got pissed off at me because I was acting like a gentleman. *sigh*

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    Post Re: What makes a gentleman, a gentleman ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Pushkin
    Actually I would dispute that! Being a gentleman does not always bring out the lady in every woman. Theres at least one incident where women got pissed off at me because I was acting like a gentleman. *sigh*
    A man behaving like a gentleman only brings out the lady in a woman who is *already* a lady - like me!

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    Re: What makes a gentleman, a gentleman ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Adelaide
    A man behaving like a gentleman only brings out the lady in a woman who is *already* a lady - like me!
    Touche!

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    Post Re: What makes a gentleman, a gentleman ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sigrun Christianson
    A gentleman makes all around him feel comfortable and welcome. He doesn't point out our flaws. Holding open a door for a woman comes naturally. He thinks about the feelings of those around him. He would never swear or cuss in front of a woman and only rarely discusses politics in front of her and never finances. He isn't forced or pretentious. He is discreet, trustworthy, and loyal. He isn't loud or obnoxious because he doesn't need to be, he can get his ideas across firmly but quietly. He appreciates art, science, history, and education of all types. Women flock to him because they feel so good in his presence. Men want to be like him. He isn't a coward in any sense of the word and he honors his agreements be they expressed or implied. He is generous, altruistic, and compassionate.

    I am lucky enough know a man like this.
    My goodness, who is this man -- Al Gore?
    O.A.
    Norman-Cimmerian

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