View Poll Results: Why are you single?

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  • I haven't found the right person yet. (I'm still looking).

    68 53.13%
  • Traumatic experiences with past relationships. (I've decided not to look anymore).

    5 3.91%
  • I want to focus on my career or studies.

    10 7.81%
  • I don't like being tied down/I'm only into casual relationships.

    3 2.34%
  • My significant other passed away and I don't wish to replace him/her with anyone.

    3 2.34%
  • I'm asexual or genuinely not interested in relationships.

    7 5.47%
  • I consider myself too ugly, etc. to be in a relationship.

    8 6.25%
  • I consider myself too selfish and prefer being on my own.

    7 5.47%
  • Other (Specify please).

    17 13.28%
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Thread: Why Are You Single?

  1. #261
    Senior Member RoyBatty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Aesthete View Post
    • I have high standards and morals.
    • I hardly ever meet a girl I’d like to be with.
    • However probably the biggest thing is when I’m really attracted I have a fear of failure or rejection. I have trouble approaching and as a self-protection thing seem to snub or ignore them.


    This time last year I had high hopes of things going places with a beautiful Anglo-Scandinavian girl and became somewhat enamoured fantasizing of a future together. Unfortunately it seems those hopes are dashed and she seems no longer interested. I have myself to blame somewhat as the last time I saw her she walked right up to me and I snubbed her. Anyway I recently wrote to her saying she was way out of my league and making light of things in the hope of seeing her again. I have not received a response. To be honest the whole thing has made me rather bitter and unjustifiably somewhat angry towards her.
    I'm no psychologist but my layman's take on what you're describing is that you're a bit socially inept (particularly with the ladies) and that you're being too anxious in your dealings with them. In the interests of self-improvement (something we all need to work on, every hour, every day) I would suggest a couple of things listed below.

    PS, I'm not suggesting that your situation necessarily resembles what I'm describing below, rather just see it as general pointers which apply to us all.

    Many people will probably be horrified at these suggestions but oh well.....

    - Lower expectations. When one has such low expectations, failures and setbacks hardly have an impact nor do they hurt or matter all that much. Chances of successes in dealings with people improve massively. It's a kind of "is the glass half full or half empty" situation and may help to turn would could have been a negative into a potential positive. Maintaining a positive frame of mind really is critical when it comes to living one's life. Lapses into negativity, hopelessness & despair is a slow cancer.

    - Being "in a mood" is a luxury that many of us cannot afford and it will almost certainly have consequences such as the blanking episode mentioned above has so clearly illustrated. You've already recognised and realised this so that's a good sign. The next step would be to do something about it to avoid further repeats. (When I say do something about it, I mean - refrain from such actions in future, because it looks like the bridges are burnt with this particular person.)

    Unless we're already in a situation where a relationship is anchored around a couple of things which makes a split or break sufficiently difficult or painful to achieve, people won't think twice about deciding that "so and so are weird" and breaking off contact. That's just how it is.

    - By harbouring feelings of insecurity and "out of one's league" one has already set one's self up for failure. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. What one's "league" is, is a relative question and the answer very much depends on circumstances. Differences in personality, social charm, looks or financial circumstances do not necessarily equate "out of one's league" but otoh in many cases these factors can and do play a role. Whatever the case, if one cannot shake feeling uncomfortable because of these factors, it is probably for the best to recognise this and to not invest further in torturing one's self with hopes and aspirations for the unattainable.


    - Most of us (ie typical people) are pretty unremarkable. The world could care less about us or our issues and we can easily be forgotten and replaced. One of the things we can do to mitigate against this, somewhat, is to develop a number of (platonic) friendships and relationships with worthy characters we encounter in professional & social spheres. And that also means contributing things without necessarily expecting a return on that investment in time, effort and emotional support. In the long run this strategy can and does pay off in unexpected ways.

    - Succeeding (even if modestly) on a social level requires practice and polishing and quite obviously, interaction with people. Imo relationships stand a better chance when one is more easy going socially, less anxious and self-aware, when one doesn't set the bar and standards so high that it becomes almost impossible to succeed.

    - Embrace failure. In fact, get used to the idea that it can and will happen and plan and strategise accordingly. Learn from and take away from mistakes and problems. Self-improve. Try again. Rinse & Repeat.
    ~ **** Democracy! It's 2 wolves and 1 sheep deciding what's for dinner.

  2. #262
    Senior Member RoyBatty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saxonbrit View Post
    I'm single because I like it that way. No commitment. Can do what I feel like. More and more people are staying single. You want to know why? Because back in the day people felt pressured into marrying and having kids and all that bs. Deep in their heart they wanted to be single but because of society sticking their big ugly brown nose into people's lives and coercing them into marrying and having kids they did just that. Lots of those marriages were absolute trainwrecks that never should have happened. Thank God people are giving society their middle finger and are going with their heart's desire. The world keeps getting worse and worse. Why on earth would you want to bring a kid into this ugly world? Even marriage is a joke. You weren't born married. You can make your life complete on your own without outside interference from someone else. Free will/Freedom of choice. That is a Germanic virtue after all. Cherish it and take advantage of it.
    The best way to give the finger to this ugly world is to make it a better place, at least for you and yours ie "your clan". And by slaying those fugly vermin and oxygen thieves who are fouling up the place.

    That's a fight you cannot win on your own, it takes a family and an interconnected social network of like-minded families & communities to achieve this.

    ~ **** Democracy! It's 2 wolves and 1 sheep deciding what's for dinner.

  3. #263
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Aesthete View Post
    • I have high standards and morals.
    • I hardly ever meet a girl I’d like to be with.
    • However probably the biggest thing is when I’m really attracted I have a fear of failure or rejection. I have trouble approaching and as a self-protection thing seem to snub or ignore them.

    This time last year I had high hopes of things going places with a beautiful Anglo-Scandinavian girl and became somewhat enamoured fantasizing of a future together. Unfortunately it seems those hopes are dashed and she seems no longer interested. I have myself to blame somewhat as the last time I saw her she walked right up to me and I snubbed her. Anyway I recently wrote to her saying she was way out of my league and making light of things in the hope of seeing her again. I have not received a response. To be honest the whole thing has made me rather bitter and unjustifiably somewhat angry towards her.
    Hmm, as a woman, I've to say such behavior would be confusing to me. I don't say all women are like this but traditional, non-feminist Germanic women might wait for the male gender to make the first move. Of course we give some hints, sometimes subtle, sometimes not so subtle, but if we're interested in a guy, show these hints and he responds by ignoring us, that's a sign to us we should cease.

    Even if I propped up the courage to ask a guy out (but I'm more traditional than average), I wouldn't do it with one who ignored me, unless I was madly in love at first sight or this person was the perfect Germanic preservationist partner prospect and I was sure I could convince him otherwise. Because frankly, that would be a recipe for rejection and humiliation. It's not just you who has a mechanism to protect yourself from rejection, but we also have ours. If I were to ask a guy out, I would ask a shy guy who was too introverted to ask me, but only if I saw some hints or signs that he liked me. So if you're too shy and introvert, you don't need to be direct and force yourself to ask a woman out, but you've still got to show a girl some sign that you're interested. This girl even made it a bit easier for you, she did her part and walked up to you, and that's when you could have responded. That's usually a test we make, to see if there's reasons to continue pursuing or not.

    The other possible mistake was telling her she's out of your league. You'd think some women might be flattered hearing this, but it's not necessarily like that...A guy telling a girl we're in different leagues could also be interpreted as a sign that you're unsure, you think you're incompatible and wouldn't work out anyway. If you don't believe you stand a chance with her, why should she believe it? Women usually like men who are sure about themselves, not overly sure and narcissistic but also not devastated by the prospect of rejection. Whether you're in the same league or not is usually revealed after you get to know each other on a deeper level and realise if you have the same values. Your and her interpretations of league could vary. I know a basic income housewife who could out of an upper middle class lawyer's league or even out of the league of someone with a royal title. There is more to a book than its cover.

    I know there's a whole courting ritual and between the lines thing, but at this point I don't think continuing to play games will give the best results. If you still like her and want to pursue her, just be truthful to her and explain you really like her, and best do it in person and then ask her out. Love letters are old fashioned but unfortunately almost every anecdote I know about love letters ended up not so good. But don't insist if she still sways towards no, because more insistence would be very strange and uncomfortable. Just try to be casual about it and use the experience as a learning ground instead of letting it hurt you.

    Women get rejected too, all the time. If everyone built a wall around themselves we wouldn't have relationships anymore...

  4. #264
    Senior Member The Aesthete's Avatar
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    Unfortunately I think you’re right the bridges seem burnt and I’m really annoyed at myself for it. Siebenbürgerin you’re probably right it was a test of sorts and she had given me subtle hints before. In person I have never given any sign of affection to her, the only time was via a message on LinkedIn casually asking her out.

    I also agree on the ‘in the mood’ thing. The last time I saw her I wasn’t expecting it, so I was totally off guard. She did look at my LinkedIn profile the day before & knew I would be at that place. She walked right up to me & I disregarded her.

    I hope this doesn’t sound conceited, but I don’t think she’s out of my league at all, it’s just something I said to make light of it all in hope of seeing her again. I promised in the last message I sent not to bother her again if I didn’t hear back and I haven’t heard back.

    I can’t just lower my expectations, I’m fussy and rarely meet women I’m attracted to and want to be in a relationship with. I just hope to meet someone like her or she changes her mind out of the blue.

    Apologies for sounding like a real pussy. I’ve had a bit much time on my hands lately and been dwelling on it. I’m going to get back into mma training to hopefully take my mind off this s@#t.
    Our beauty is our power, our strength. We can’t allow them to change us, to lessen us. I will never grant them that satisfaction, and neither should you!

    White Oleander

  5. #265
    Account Inactive Skerritt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sigurd View Post
    So you basically admit you're not perfect yourself but are likewise looking for a 'perfect woman'.
    I didn't say I was looking for the perfect woman. I want a healthy weight woman as I've embraced that weight-conscious, healthy eating, weight training & sports club lifestyle. Are all healthy weight women perfect 10/10's? Nope. Only feminist think all non-fat women are perfect. Its there way of trying to put slim average-looking women out of reach for the average, non-fat man by labelling them as "hot". Its a crafty way of raising themselves to 'average'. A 225lbs, 200lbs, 175lbs woman is never 'average' or acceptable in my head, that's huge and gross. F.e. I'm 167lbs, 5ft10, I don't look small, and I don't think I'd be comfortable with a 5'5" woman over about 145lbs.

    This left woman is 'average' to me - not super pretty but acceptable and dateable. She's my type. She's not the 'perfect woman' as you accuse me of wanting. She's around a 5/10 > 6/10 https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CgEej02WEAAWTg9.jpg:large

    By comparison, this is a near 'perfect woman' in looks, Barbara Palvin. She's a clear 9/10: http://www.hotcelebshome.com/wp-cont...Palvin-2-1.jpg


    This next woman is too much. Its disgusting. Its never average. 2/10. I'd rather be a monk if she was my only option. https://theplussideofme.files.wordpr...3/img_4383.jpg

    Its such a self-destructive social and sexual strategy for a woman to allow herself to get and stay obese, yet men are held scapegoats for not being attracted to them? Biggest strawman of the 21st century.

  6. #266
    Account Inactive Skerritt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siebenbürgerin View Post

    Women get rejected too, all the time. If everyone built a wall around themselves we wouldn't have relationships anymore...


    If women never - or rarely - ask a man out throughout their lives, then how do they get rejected? Something women never really discuss.

    I've come to my own solid conclusion that women perceive rejection differently to men. For men, rejection is actually verbal or getting very mean looks, unprovoked nastiness, shunning, humiliation just for trying, or negative body language from women.

    I think women perceive the hottest, top 5% guy around not showing them any attention or signs of interest = REJECTION Yet they mindlessly ignore battalions of average and ugly men and treat them like dirt.

    The funny fat guy can become an orbiting blimp or friendzoned guy any time, as long as he has social proof (friends, education). The awkward intelligent nerd is welcome when he offers help with homework or computer stuff. The problems start when men of average to low attractiveness want something in return: sex & relationships. They will be rejected, shamed and not tolerated anywhere near the girl.


    Women don't even realize they're doing this, because they rationalize their behaviour and come to the conclusion that it was Mr Handsome's "charm" or "cheekiness" that sealed the deal, and Mr Aveage or Mr Ugly's 'creepiness' or low popularity that what caused him to slip up. When in fact there was no creepiness from Mr Average or Mr Ugly, because she's only ready to fuck Mr Handsome him on first sight. Women don't even notice this distribution and their hypocrisy. They only notice the hot guys and partake in blame-shifting on the non-hot guys (http://www.dictionary.com/browse/blameshifting) and lack the self awareness to realise that they are ignoring over 90% of men.... why? because the bottom 90% is not just invisible but an actual annoyance to her. They shouldn't exist as sexual beings.

    Go back in time 12, 15, 18 years or so, when most men didn't realize this, but now by the power of the internet and the increase in hook-up/dating apps and observance, most men are catching on fast that its not their fault. Men are going to get the fuck out of everywhere, and clubs will only be populated by women, and the top 5% / 10% of guys that are handsome enough, to get laid consistently without having to run into menacing rejections from women, who are pissed off that an average looking guy (or god forbid - ugly) has the audacity to approach her. Women certainly don't encourage or are attracted to shy, introverted men that aren't good looking enough.

    But to general society, women will look like a joke as they continue to expose themselves and their ridiculous hypergamy.

    If you go out with handsome guys who are 8+/10 in looks, you'll realize they live on a different planet compared to average 5/10 guys every time they leave the house. They're treated by women how men treat women.

    Female thirst is real. All feminism and female frustration is born out of fat/obese or butch-looking women not being able to tie down a handsome or above-average looking stud. The only feminists who are in shape, are women who were pumped and dumped by handsome guys a few too many times, or by women who have terrible personalities that drives handsome (and many non-handsome) men away. But they bring it on themselves by only spreading legs for the same few Hot guys that all the other women are spreading their legs for.

    Handsome men have options.

    Another thing... guys you are not as good looking as they think. A smile from a cashier once per month does not mean you're the bomb. A woman looking you in the eye does not mean she finds you sexy. Most men, you'll find, overrate themselves by 1.5 to 2 points on the 10-scale. It's just how it is; a built in coping mechanism that makes you keep going despite running into gruelling rejection after rejection.

    "Work on your personality" they said... lol. A line from an average guy that's deemed creepy, is considered bold and confident when a handsome stud does it.

    Women have an innate revulsion to inferior-looking men that is just as powerful as the revulsion one would feel if served a plate of shit and leeches and told to eat it. It's a inherent immediate uncontrollable disgust that is just as natural as breathing.

    Once women are exposed once and for all, hopefully they'll cut their redundant bullshit and change that line to what they really mean "work on your facial structure".

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...-eggheads.html

  7. #267
    Senior Member RoyBatty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Aesthete View Post
    Unfortunately I think you’re right the bridges seem burnt and I’m really annoyed at myself for it. Siebenbürgerin you’re probably right it was a test of sorts and she had given me subtle hints before. In person I have never given any sign of affection to her, the only time was via a message on LinkedIn casually asking her out.

    I also agree on the ‘in the mood’ thing. The last time I saw her I wasn’t expecting it, so I was totally off guard. She did look at my LinkedIn profile the day before & knew I would be at that place. She walked right up to me & I disregarded her.
    I really empathised with your situation when I read about it because once upon a time I made a very similar stupid mistake. Come to think about it, I probably made that mistake more than once. So I can totally relate and all I can add is, learn from this experience and self-improve.

    I hope this doesn’t sound conceited, but I don’t think she’s out of my league at all, it’s just something I said to make light of it all in hope of seeing her again. I promised in the last message I sent not to bother her again if I didn’t hear back and I haven’t heard back.
    Yeah, the league thing is totally relative. All it comes down to is whether somebody else is prepared to give us the time of day or not. If not, move on. If yes, where there's life there's hope!

    I can’t just lower my expectations, I’m fussy and rarely meet women I’m attracted to and want to be in a relationship with. I just hope to meet someone like her or she changes her mind out of the blue.
    The problem with high expectations is that it severely limits one's options to the point that it almost makes failure inevitable because ticking all or most of the checkboxes is pretty much going to filter 99% of potential candidates out.

    Add to that, the problem that just because person X ticks the boxes today, it doesn't mean they'll be ticking them in a week from now etc etc. People change, people evolve, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. So by being super-fussy one kind of takes one's self out of the race before even starting.

    + Another piece of my low-level dodgy life experience, one shouldn't only be pursuing women for relationships. It's useful to have a few female friends & acquaintances too and they can be useful for practice & advice on friendships & relationships.

    I'm not advocating wasting too much time on the worst of the worst, but seeking perfection or near-perfection is a bit like chasing unicorns or pots of gold at the end of the rainbow. It's going to be a lonely quest.

    Oh, and (yet) another thing, there are some real unexpected sleepers out there ie people who turn out to be quite different (in a good way) to what we expected or believed at the time. Usually because we weren't paying attention, or because these girls were reserved or quiet and didn't really let on much at the time.

    Apologies for sounding like a real pussy. I’ve had a bit much time on my hands lately and been dwelling on it. I’m going to get back into mma training to hopefully take my mind off this s@#t.
    Not at all! Life can be a b1tch sometimes and sometimes we need a bit of emotional prepping up and sympathy. All the best, think things through, devise a strategy and get back on the horse.
    ~ **** Democracy! It's 2 wolves and 1 sheep deciding what's for dinner.

  8. #268
    Senior Member RoyBatty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skerritt View Post
    For men, rejection is actually verbal or getting very mean looks, unprovoked nastiness, shunning, humiliation just for trying, or negative body language from women.
    Yep

    I think women perceive the hottest, top 5% guy around not showing them any attention or signs of interest = REJECTION Yet they mindlessly ignore battalions of average and ugly men and treat them like dirt.
    Unless a guy is loaded, loud, good looking or charming, it's always going to be a struggle.

    The awkward intelligent nerd is welcome when he offers help with homework or computer stuff.
    That guy has near zero chances with the "it girls". He'll just be friendzoned & do chores for them, lol. Realistically his best bet is to hang around girls from a similar subculture.

    The problems start when men of average to low attractiveness want something in return: sex & relationships. They will be rejected, shamed and not tolerated anywhere near the girl.
    It's a no-brainer, why would some moderately attractive female (already spoilt for offers) waste her time on some awkward dork. Looks aren't necessarily such a deciding factor but such guys certainly need attitude or charm, perhaps money. If not.... forget it.


    Women don't even realize they're doing this, because they rationalize their behaviour and come to the conclusion that it was Mr Handsome's "charm" or "cheekiness" that sealed the deal, and Mr Aveage or Mr Ugly's 'creepiness' or low popularity that what caused him to slip up. When in fact there was no creepiness from Mr Average or Mr Ugly, because she's only ready to fuck Mr Handsome him on first sight. Women don't even notice this distribution and their hypocrisy. They only notice the hot guys and partake in blame-shifting on the non-hot guys (http://www.dictionary.com/browse/blameshifting) and lack the self awareness to realise that they are ignoring over 90% of men.... why? because the bottom 90% is not just invisible but an actual annoyance to her. They shouldn't exist as sexual beings.
    The world's a jungle and women could care less about average guys and their problems. Average guys either up their game or they find something other to do with their time than chase skirts.

    Go back in time 12, 15, 18 years or so, when most men didn't realize this, but now by the power of the internet and the increase in hook-up/dating apps and observance, most men are catching on fast that its not their fault.
    The hook-up scene is shallow & riddled with STD's of the week.... ugh. The world doesn't owe men anything either. Life's a struggle and women worth pursuing don't grow on trees.

    Men are going to get the fuck out of everywhere, and clubs will only be populated by women,
    NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN

    Bar & Nightspot Industry 101 = Where there are women, the men will follow.


    and the top 5% / 10% of guys that are handsome enough, to get laid consistently without having to run into menacing rejections from women, who are pissed off that an average looking guy (or god forbid - ugly) has the audacity to approach her. Women certainly don't encourage or are attracted to shy, introverted men that aren't good looking enough.
    There are two choices for average types. Give up or up their game. Either way, the world doesn't care so do something about it or forget it and move on.


    But to general society, women will look like a joke as they continue to expose themselves and their ridiculous hypergamy.
    The world just doesn't care about MGTOW groupthink & self-delusion no matter how hard they try to convince themselves that it does. A lot of people, men & women both are shallow and a waste of space. Avoid them.

    Female thirst is real. All feminism and female frustration is born out of fat/obese or butch-looking women not being able to tie down a handsome or above-average looking stud.
    - Feminazis are often fugly, bitter and miserable heifers who no man would touch with another man's d1ck. That's part of the reason why they're so frustrated.
    - Some were made in single-parent (mother) households where they were probably molested into another dimension by the loser mother's string of boyfriends.
    - Another category are the formerly nice girls whose gullible and idiot parents weren't paying attention to what Cultural Marxism was pumped into the little dear's soft head at that expensive "school" she attends to obtain the near worthless BA Degree.
    - Yet another category are the rebellious types with daddy issues who really just want to be dominated by a good strong man, yet they are either such ragingly annoying banshees or most guys in their societies have been so neutered that it just doesn't happen.

    Handsome men have options.
    Handsome, charming, pushy and rich men tend to have more options. The world's a jungle.


    Another thing... guys you are not as good looking as they think. A smile from a cashier once per month does not mean you're the bomb. A woman looking you in the eye does not mean she finds you sexy. Most men, you'll find, overrate themselves by 1.5 to 2 points on the 10-scale. It's just how it is; a built in coping mechanism that makes you keep going despite running into gruelling rejection after rejection.
    Who knows... but a guy who concerns himself with his looks is usually a fag in my book.


    "Work on your personality" they said... lol. A line from an average guy that's deemed creepy, is considered bold and confident when a handsome stud does it.
    True, nevertheless what doesn't kill a man can only make him stronger. Accept that the world isn't equal and find a slot in the food chain.

    Women have an innate revulsion to inferior-looking men that is just as powerful as the revulsion one would feel if served a plate of shit and leeches and told to eat it. It's a inherent immediate uncontrollable disgust that is just as natural as breathing.
    I disagree. The streets of multikult neighbourhoods are filled with fugly wogs & apes surrounded by fawning white wimminz who hang on their blubber lips. Looks definitely doesn't explain that phenomenon.

    There are multiple factors which make women tick & respond. Looks is only one part of the puzzle.


    Once women are exposed once and for all, hopefully they'll cut their redundant bullshit and change that line to what they really mean "work on your facial structure".
    Women aren't going to "change" anymore than Men are going to change. They are what they are. Get to know your subject and plan & strategise accordingly.

    It's a simple choice really. If one were to reverse the situation would some random guy rather lust after a hot stripper or some pale bookworm?

    Fact is, men are no better.
    ~ **** Democracy! It's 2 wolves and 1 sheep deciding what's for dinner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Skerritt View Post
    If women never - or rarely - ask a man out throughout their lives, then how do they get rejected? Something women never really discuss.
    I mentioned traditional, non-feminist Germanic women having a preference for men asking them out. But we live in modern times. Nowadays it's not considered strange or out of place anymore for a woman to make the first move and ask a man out, so it's become more and more common. Some men even expect it, and like it because it takes some of the pressure off them. The other exception are shy, timid, introverted men. Because of the changing of gender roles, women are more encouraged to be independent and take initiative, while men are encouraged to be more emotional and sensitve.

    Here a discussion thread from 2009, Women Courting Men. Since then I've noticed more and more women taking the initiative.

    I've come to my own solid conclusion that women perceive rejection differently to men. For men, rejection is actually verbal or getting very mean looks, unprovoked nastiness, shunning, humiliation just for trying, or negative body language from women.

    I think women perceive the hottest, top 5% guy around not showing them any attention or signs of interest = REJECTION Yet they mindlessly ignore battalions of average and ugly men and treat them like dirt.
    Rejection is universally felt as the lack of interest from a person in which you've interest in. The more interest in that person and the bigger the attraction/crush, the more rejection hurts. It will hurt if you're being ignored, it will hurt if you see negative body language, it will hurt if they are nice and if will hurt if they are mean. It's a normal emotional response and in the end we can't really blame or force someone if they're not attracted to us. Attraction is based partly on pheromones, you either feel it or you don't.

    Anyway, some studies were conducted and many peoples hate being ignored. Sometimes, being ignored hurts even more than a rude no answer, because it creates more questions in the person's mind - did s/he ignore me because s/he hates me or did s/he ignore me because s/he didn't notice? was it my looks? was it my personality? what did I do wrong? should I try again or resign? etc. and sometimes, also false niceties can hurt quite bad - the dreaded "it's not you, it's me", "we can be friends", etc. Things like "you're amazing", "any person will be lucky to have you" are cliche, it's ok to say them if you really believe them, but not just as a false way to cushion the damage. In my experience, this tactic is used mostly by girls, who don't want to appear as impolite and insensitive. Some even accept to go out with the guy for coffee just because they don't want to be mean and refuse. By the point he has his hopes up, she has to be honest, which makes the rejection more painful because more time and hopes was invested in it.

    I think honesty is the most genuine reaction. Negative body language isn't something we can always control - men or women. It can be triggered spontaneously, without that we even think about it. Of course nobody has to be rude say humiliating things, the same thing can be said on a neutral tone.

    By the way, I sense a little bit of a double standard here. In your post there is a repeated complaining and resentfulness about average men who get ignored by women, but at the same time you critizise women who feel the same thing.

    The funny fat guy can become an orbiting blimp or friendzoned guy any time, as long as he has social proof (friends, education). The awkward intelligent nerd is welcome when he offers help with homework or computer stuff. The problems start when men of average to low attractiveness want something in return: sex & relationships. They will be rejected, shamed and not tolerated anywhere near the girl.
    Yes this happens but it's not restricted to men. Women also get friendzoned, I know many colleagues who were the "homework person", it happened to me in school too. I really liked this boy but he only used me to copy homework and do groupworks alone, while he did nothing. He also didn't want to be seen in public with me and didn't say hello if his friends were there. It happens with the same gender too, if peoples had to be brutally honest, most had "that friend" whom they didn't like that much but took a little bit advantage of their abilities.

    Women don't even realize they're doing this, because they rationalize their behaviour and come to the conclusion that it was Mr Handsome's "charm" or "cheekiness" that sealed the deal, and Mr Aveage or Mr Ugly's 'creepiness' or low popularity that what caused him to slip up. When in fact there was no creepiness from Mr Average or Mr Ugly, because she's only ready to fuck Mr Handsome him on first sight. Women don't even notice this distribution and their hypocrisy. They only notice the hot guys and partake in blame-shifting on the non-hot guys (http://www.dictionary.com/browse/blameshifting) and lack the self awareness to realise that they are ignoring over 90% of men.... why? because the bottom 90% is not just invisible but an actual annoyance to her. They shouldn't exist as sexual beings.
    I think we should make a differentiation here. Some women truly believe we and men can be friends. I've male friends, whom I'm not attracted to, and I've male friends, who aren't attracted to me. If we "use" each other for something, it's always mutual - he helps with my car, I help with his gardening or cooking.

    But it seems that some peoples focus on sex, and make it the supreme goal of everything. I don't know any woman who would have sex with a guy because the guy fixed her computer or did her homework, unless there was already a physical attraction, but then that would be the cause and not the computer. So peoples who expect to be rewarded with sex should maybe make it clear what their expectations are, to avoid any misunderstandings. I'm pretty sure there are women who take advantage and use sexual manipulation and false promises to take advantage of men, which isn't a nice thing. There's a whole stereotype about men who can be bought with sex, it's not a good thing to be sexually manipulable.

    What's creepy depends on the context and person. For example, staring a person straight into the eyes can be both enticing and creepy, it really depends. Creepy guys have a tendency to want to control and decide a person's feelings and relations, and make tantrums when they can't have it their way.

    Go back in time 12, 15, 18 years or so, when most men didn't realize this, but now by the power of the internet and the increase in hook-up/dating apps and observance, most men are catching on fast that its not their fault. Men are going to get the fuck out of everywhere, and clubs will only be populated by women, and the top 5% / 10% of guys that are handsome enough, to get laid consistently without having to run into menacing rejections from women, who are pissed off that an average looking guy (or god forbid - ugly) has the audacity to approach her. Women certainly don't encourage or are attracted to shy, introverted men that aren't good looking enough.
    I think you generalise a little bit too much. There are women attracted to shy, introverted guys. Some women even prefer them. Peoples can be very different when it comes to attraction. If attraction were purely visual blind peoples wouldn't feel physical arousal, but they feel it too. Attraction can be more visual, auditory, olfactory, etc. It also depends on their basic values, culture, and so on. For example, a study showed men are more sexually aroused by images and visuals while women like reading or hearing stories. That would explain why men prefer films while women like erotic fiction. My most important factors are shared ethnicity and values. He can be average looking or even unattractive, he can be skinny or chubby, shy or bold, as long as he is a good Germanic man and believes in the same things I do. I've had a shy ex-boyfriend and a bold one, and I got along well with the shy one. I'm a little bit introvert myself, so I feel more comfortable with similar peoples. Shy and introvert is ok, as long as it's not the type who follows you around and looks through your window. That would be creepy.

    You say personality is not important, I think it's as important or even more sometimes as looks. There are many peoples who look good but are ugly on the inside. I couldn't be with a man who pushed me around, was a misogynist or hated his folk and culture. He could be Brad Pitt for all I care, those things would still be a deal breaker. One of my father's colleagues, for example, is a pretty woman who is married to a not-so-handsome man. Many call him ugly even, he's also overweight. No, it's not for the money, she makes more than he does, she's a doctor who also has a private practice and works at several clinics. Her explanation is, he makes her laugh. It's a simple yet good reason. A compatible personality, you feeling good with the other person, is essential for a relationship to have durability. Looks fade and change with times, but you're still stuck 24 hours with them.

    Women have an innate revulsion to inferior-looking men that is just as powerful as the revulsion one would feel if served a plate of shit and leeches and told to eat it. It's a inherent immediate uncontrollable disgust that is just as natural as breathing.

    Once women are exposed once and for all, hopefully they'll cut their redundant bullshit and change that line to what they really mean "work on your facial structure".

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...-eggheads.html
    Again a broad generalisation. But even assuming it were true, not liking "inferior-looking" men is similar to being repulsed by overweight women. It's both a personal preference. If you feel hurt because you're average looking and women ignore you, how do you think overweight women feel? They probably think it's equally shallow. Your standards of beauty aren't universal anyway. You feel repulsed by overweight women, other peoples feel repulsed by skinny people, short height, glasses, red hair, curly hair, freckles, big feet, low voices, choleric personalities, etc. What you like, others might dislike and viceversa.

    Peoples have different preferences, standards, and scales. A woman who is 5/10 on your scale might be 2/10 on a second person's scale and 9/10 on a third person's. Personal preference is fine, as long as you don't try to impose it on others. In the previous post you complained why men should have to be attracted to overweight women. They shouldn't have to, just like women shouldn't be forced to go for "average" men. But some do nonetheless, some men like overweight women, and some women like average men.

    The other thing is that some peoples have higher standards and aim a little bit higher than their equivalent. You could call it double standard, but it's also a natural impulse for people who want to "upbreed". Assume you put on some extra weight as a side effect of a medication or due to a metabolism disease, would you start being attracted to overweight women? I wouldn't think so. So in the end, everyone has preferences and that's alright, but it's a personal thing. Peoples can't always click, but they've to keep trying if they want a relationship.

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Aesthete View Post
    I hope this doesn’t sound conceited, but I don’t think she’s out of my league at all, it’s just something I said to make light of it all in hope of seeing her again. I promised in the last message I sent not to bother her again if I didn’t hear back and I haven’t heard back.
    Hmm, I see. Sometimes peoples say things with the hope of flattering the other, many do it, but some things have double meanings. That's why I think honesty is best, even if you get burnt, at least there are no confusions. Well, if you promised not to bother her, then it's better to stick to the promise, the ball is in her court now.

    I can’t just lower my expectations, I’m fussy and rarely meet women I’m attracted to and want to be in a relationship with. I just hope to meet someone like her or she changes her mind out of the blue.
    I understand, I'm also picky and rather single than with someone who doesn't have the qualities I look for...

    Apologies for sounding like a real pussy. I’ve had a bit much time on my hands lately and been dwelling on it. I’m going to get back into mma training to hopefully take my mind off this s@#t.
    You don't sound like that at all, like I said, I don't think being a little bit introvert or shy is a bad thing. There are many men who are like that, and women who don't mind it. And there are many single peoples on Skadi, who have similar issues, so it's good to exchange anecdotes and thoughts.

    I think at this point it would be best not to have any expectations of her. She might have not seen the message yet, or been away, she might not know what to say or she might have burnt the bridge. If you don't make false hopes and treat it as it would be over, you don't set yourself up for another disappointment. If she does contact you, then it will be a pleasant surprise and you can decide what to do next then.

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