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Thread: Are Some Individuals Incapable of Being Liked?

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    Are Some Individuals Incapable of Being Liked?

    I'm embarrassed to say I have one of these individuals in my own family. My first cousin. This man just turned 23 a few weeks ago and he's still living with his mother and step-father. He has no job, never had a girlfriend, doesn't have any friends. I visit his facebook page periodically and there is never any activity, even though he added 200+ people to his friendlist over the years. Never any activity, ever! When I was a kid, my mom would schedule play-dates for me and him. Those were the most boring days of my childhood. All he would do is stare at me, follow me around, and agree to everything I said. I even started calling him "shaddow", something he wasn't happy with, but went along with it. Come to think of it, the only word he ever said was "what"

    He would watch me do everything, for hours. I would play a video-game, and he would be there staring at the screen like a zombie. After a few failed attempts at teaching him how to play, I just gave up and played by myself, as he watched. I could have been out with my real friends, what a waste of time

    He hasn't changed much since then. I was invited by his mother to his "birthday party"m which consisted of me, my mom and dad, him, his mother, and step-father, and my wife. Boy was it awkward. Awkward X 100. Especially when he was introduced to my wife

    ---

    Anyway, that's just one example. There are many people like this. They don't know how to carry a conversation, they are always unkempt, never prepared, slackers, overly emotional, self-centered, etc, etc... I don't know what it is with these people. Its almost as if they give off some sort of scent that immediately turns people against them They are dirty f***s who try to act normal, and fail epically.

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    Maybe your cousin is a higher functioning autistic which would account for his inability to interact socially. Is it possible he is autistic & nobody ever told you?

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    Does your cousins behaviour resemble that of the people at 3.48 in the video?

    Asperger's Syndrone


    If so he may have Asperger's Syndrome, which is a developmental disorder sometimes referred to as "social dyslexia". It stems from an inability from birth to read facial cue's which leads to a lack of understanding of the emotions and motivations of other people.

    In spite of their lack of understanding of the emotions of others Aspergers people are not without emotions themselves, and tend to suffer quite badly from the social isolation their condition tends to foster.

    There are some mental disabilities which trouble the sufferer's less than those around them, but Asperger's syndrome isn't one of them.

    If your cousin has Asperger's, and depending on how sever a case it is, he probably finds social interaction both confusing and frustrating, perhaps even frightening.

    Whatever the case it sounds like he has something seriously the matter with him.He's certainly not doing as well in life as you are. I think I'd try to be a little kinder to him if I were you, at least on the rare occasion you happen to meet him.
    Close observation may result in feelings of horror, wonder and awe at world you find yourself inhabiting.

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    Does he have any unusual habits, hobbies, or intense interests? If so, it could very well be Asperger's.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dolichocephalic Prince View Post
    I'm embarrassed to say I have one of these individuals in my own family.
    Perhaps they are incapable of being liked because they've never been made to feel like they are anything special. The ability to socialize with other humans starts very early in childhood, long before the child has to think about how to act around others. It should be as easy as breathing itself. You don't even have to think about it, it just comes out naturally. I have noticed that most awkward, non-social people usually had parents that took very little interest in them in secret.

    Can you ever remember a time when you were not liked? Well it is possible he cannot remember a time when he was. He probably spends much of that silence you mention trying to think of a way into your world, perhaps frightened that he will receive an unfavorable reaction if he does. After all, you have adopted an unpleasant nickname for him before, and is worried that you might do it again.

    Being liked by others is probably an alien concept to him, which is why he comes across as alien to those who are lucky enough to know what it does feel like. The older he gets the more this will be reinforced as people stay further away from him. Maybe you should try other ways to reach him besides video games, which aren't exactly the best way to bring someone out of their shell. Indeed, video games have the effect of causing them to become even more withdrawn.

    He would watch me do everything, for hours. I would play a video-game, and he would be there staring at the screen like a zombie.
    Maybe he was trying to observe a popular person in his native habitat, possibly to learn how to become popular himself.

    Boy was it awkward. Awkward X 100. Especially when he was introduced to my wife
    Embarrassed for him or yourself? If the way you have described him is accurate then it is hardly his fault.

    Its almost as if they give off some sort of scent that immediately turns people against them They are dirty f***s who try to act normal, and fail epically.
    Would he ever speak this way about you if you were in his place?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dolichocephalic Prince View Post
    I'm embarrassed to say I have one of these individuals in my own family. My first cousin. This man just turned 23 a few weeks ago and he's still living with his mother and step-father. He has no job, never had a girlfriend, doesn't have any friends. I visit his facebook page periodically and there is never any activity, even though he added 200+ people to his friendlist over the years. Never any activity, ever! When I was a kid, my mom would schedule play-dates for me and him. Those were the most boring days of my childhood. All he would do is stare at me, follow me around, and agree to everything I said. I even started calling him "shaddow", something he wasn't happy with, but went along with it. Come to think of it, the only word he ever said was "what"

    He would watch me do everything, for hours. I would play a video-game, and he would be there staring at the screen like a zombie. After a few failed attempts at teaching him how to play, I just gave up and played by myself, as he watched. I could have been out with my real friends, what a waste of time

    He hasn't changed much since then. I was invited by his mother to his "birthday party"m which consisted of me, my mom and dad, him, his mother, and step-father, and my wife. Boy was it awkward. Awkward X 100. Especially when he was introduced to my wife

    ---

    Anyway, that's just one example. There are many people like this. They don't know how to carry a conversation, they are always unkempt, never prepared, slackers, overly emotional, self-centered, etc, etc... I don't know what it is with these people. Its almost as if they give off some sort of scent that immediately turns people against them They are dirty f***s who try to act normal, and fail epically.
    There's tons of these trust me, one of my brothers is like this to the T. It isn't Asperger's or any disease it's basic lack of social interaction 101.


    You can't just assign a disease to every person who's socially awkward which is what many try to do. Like a conspiracy theorist trying to make sense of the world. It isn't that hard to understand really especially once you know someone like this. If you sit on the computer all day everyday then yeah you aren't going to have any social skills, you aren't ever going to touch the opposite sex and yeah you aren't going to be very athletic or in shape. It's cause and effect at it's most basic level.

    I don't worry about it much though, as these people just won't ever marry or have kids, which in my opinion is a good thing. Individuals who don't have the basic primal urge to socialize or normalize their lives in order to at least even have sex don't deserve to pass on their genetic code to the species, and they won't.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dolichocephalic Prince View Post
    Anyway, that's just one example. There are many people like this. They don't know how to carry a conversation, they are always unkempt, never prepared, slackers, overly emotional, self-centered, etc, etc... I don't know what it is with these people. Its almost as if they give off some sort of scent that immediately turns people against them They are dirty f***s who try to act normal, and fail epically.
    I know a guy who is pushing 40 and still lives with his mother, and yes, you guessed it, he's most likely still a virgin

    I agree with you, slackers are sh*t

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dolichocephalic Prince View Post
    He hasn't changed much since then. I was invited by his mother to his "birthday party"m which consisted of me, my mom and dad, him, his mother, and step-father, and my wife. Boy was it awkward. Awkward X 100. Especially when he was introduced to my wife

    -----

    Anyway, that's just one example. There are many people like this. They don't know how to carry a conversation, they are always unkempt, never prepared, slackers, overly emotional, self-centered, etc, etc... I don't know what it is with these people. Its almost as if they give off some sort of scent that immediately turns people against them They are dirty f***s who try to act normal, and fail epically.
    Your view of your cousin is very negative and wrong. I doubt hes happy in his current situation and sounds like somebody who is stuck by his own negative thoughts.

    People need some positivity in their lives and thats why positive people (people who think positively) attract others. Your cousin is the opposite and you're not doing him any favours by hanging around him because of your negative attitude towards him.

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    I am somewhat like this, and I feel sure I'm not autistic. There are lots of reasons a person can become socially isolated, and being autistic is not likely one of them. I was often rejected by other children from age 11 and onward because my parents sheltered me quite a bit because they're old fashioned. I was also considered an "untouchable" by the local people because my family isn't baptist and the poeple around here think thats like the devil. My sister never had any friends in her youth either because of this and she is now a lawyer. I also have had a lot of traumatic experiences with being bullied and threatened in high/middle school, so I have become very very distrustful of other people.

    I would make jokes that were kinda "out there" and dry like my dad and that's considered very unattractive for a young girl (hence being sheltered I didn't know all the lingo and common jokes). Everywhere I go, it seems many people have something against me and I don't know what it is, and I don't really care because in the back of my mind I'm convinced they're bad. In the past I wanted to be popular, but I've totally lost interest in people after trying many times and being treated like sh*t. But I guess everyone who doesn't take interest in lame people gets to be classified as being in the autistic bin.

    I'm never unkempt or a slacker/unprepared, what a generalization. There's a lot of popular "soclialite" people who are even more self centered as well, you've got to admit.
    Under Capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.

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    I too am a very introspective person, I think part of it was because I went to a private school for the elementary grades and knew all the same people for 8 years. This left me without the experience of making new friends and talking to people I don't know. Now I'm better at it but being in that sort of situation as a child can make it very difficult to have any kind of good social qualities.

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