View Poll Results: My partner...

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220. You may not vote on this poll
  • ... shouldn't be older/younger than me (a month or two are no problem)

    6 2.73%
  • ... can be up to 2 years younger than me

    33 15.00%
  • ... can be up to 5 years younger than me

    51 23.18%
  • ... can be up to 10 years younger than me

    38 17.27%
  • ... can be more than 10 years younger than me

    38 17.27%
  • ... can be up to 2 years older than me

    25 11.36%
  • ... can be up to 5 years older than me

    44 20.00%
  • ... can be up to 10 years older than me

    28 12.73%
  • ... can be more than 10 years older than me

    24 10.91%
  • ... can have any age - I don't care about it. Love knows no limits.

    47 21.36%
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Thread: Age Differences in Relationships

  1. #251
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    After a while of thinking is that the socially acceptable norm is indeen "half your age plus seven" which works very well for men.

    That means that:
    - When you're 14, your girlfriend should be no younger than 14 herself
    - When you're 18, your girlfriend should be no younger than 16
    - When you're 22, your girlfriend should be no younger than 18
    - When you're 28, your girlfriend should be no younger than 21
    - When you're 35, your girlfriend should be no younger than 24.5
    - When you're 40, your girlfriend should be no younger than 27
    - When you're 50, your girlfriend should be no younger than 32

    And so on and so forth. And it is quite interesting, because my father's current long-term girlfriend is more than ten years his junior. Which is interesting because from whenever they started dating in 2005, she has always been safely within this 'half your age plus seven' bracket and they were never looked upon oddly.

    On the other hand, using a celebrity example: When Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones started dating I believe he was about 56 and she was about 31 or perhaps even a few years before that. That was outside the bracket and there was much media attention. It doesn't bother anyone now they're much older than that and they're safely inside that bracket.

    For me ATM, my girlfriend is 22 whilst I am 27, so the age gap is just under five years. That is safely within the bracket and doesn't feel anywhere near odd, either. Whilst at the same time, perhaps five years ago, this would have been quite the deal-breaker as I'd always have thought that someone only 17 might be just the slight bit too young.

    Curiously, the older I get, the less appealing I find the idea of being with a woman older than myself, whereas I had a girlfriend seven years my senior when I was 19. At that time, it felt absolutely awesome to be able to woo a woman in her mid-twenties. Had we stayed together, I suppose we would have found our way, but reflecting upon the idea of having to tell everyone my girlfriend were turning 35 this summer is a concept that'd make me fell old.

    Hence if I first posted today it'd still be a "ten years bracket", but it'd definitely be one that'd range from -7 to +3.
    -In kalte Schatten versunken... /Germaniens Volk erstarrt / Gefroren von Lügen / In denen die Welt verharrt-
    -Die alte Seele trauernd und verlassen / Verblassend in einer erklärbaren Welt / Schwebend in einem Dunst der Wehmut / Ein Schrei der nur unmerklich gellt-
    -Auch ich verspüre Demut / Vor dem alten Geiste der Ahnen / Wird es mir vergönnt sein / Gen Walhalla aufzufahren?-

    (Heimdalls Wacht, In kalte Schatten versunken, stanzas 4-6)

  2. #252
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    From my own personal experience and observations I've come to realize that the general 20-35 year old man isn't for me as he tends to be more interested in video games, other toys or alcohol than serious commitment. I'm not a teenager anymore and that shit gets old. I see a big difference between the different generations, things have really changed a lot.


    "I'm too old for Netflix and chill. I want Amazon Prime and commitment."

  3. #253
    Senior Member Rhaegar Thorwald's Avatar
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    I see anything between the ages of 17 - 40 as fair game.
    Anglo-Saxons are forbidden the same level of racial consciousness of other groups (even amongst Whites).

    While our many accomplishments are forgotten, there is no end of blaming Anglo-Saxons for the problems and inadequacies of the world (White & non-white alike).

  4. #254
    Senior Member Coillearnach's Avatar
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    What I hope to communicate to my children: Age isn't just a number. Under no circumstances should your partner be old enough to have been your parent. I don't care about the outliers, it's a bad idea because of communicative barriers with people outside/on the fringes of your demographic cohort, it's probably dysgenic if you want children (maternal AND paternal age effects), discrepancies re mortality could leave you alone for a very long time, and the small but not negligible effect societal condemnation will have on your relationship.

    I think the sweet spot is 0-5 years difference. No, that isn't okay for a 16 year old and obviously there is *some* plasticity with age (wouldn't be weird to see a 50 with an early 60-something) but those are the relationships that I see lasting/having their best chance.

  5. #255
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    I'm in a relationship with a girl who's 16 years (nearly 17) young. Yes of course it's a relative big difference. But just as the writers before said: age isn't just a number. My ex-GF is as old as I am.
    And my now-time GF is definitely not 16 in mind. Of course she can't be "mature" as girls which are in my age, but she's pretty close to them in some things. And she's evolving more and more. For more than 6 months now.
    It sounds weird for some at first, but I don't care. In Germany is some saying: "Wo die Liebe hinfällt." (Where the love goes down, nearly translated...)

    BUT: if the span is to big, you have to think about it twice or more. A friend of mine is in a relationship with the best friend of my girlfriend. So far so good. So far... I mean, he could be her father. He's 33 and she's 17! I mean, hell no! What is he thinking? What is her mother thinking? And: he is working as a federal officer/ custom. But they are both happy and that is the most important. More important than the thoughts of other people.

    But the other side I think is: the span shouldn't be tooooo big.
    with kind regards/ Mit bestem Gruß,

    Matze

  6. #256
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    There's no easy or definitive answer to this question. I would venture that 10< years sounds about right, but it depends upon age. As you get older, especially post-menopause, the gap may not matter as much. That's just my intuition.

    I do get creeped out by the stories you occasionally read of, say, an 80 year old woman with a 20 something man. I wouldn't like to imagine a physical side to that relationship... Part of the idea of a relationship is that you grow old together - progress in your career, have kids, retire. That's not possible when the age gap is too large.

    My parents were unusual.My mother was much older than my father, 26 vs 18. Probably a reason why my father failed to take responsibility for me and left when I was 2 years old. My grandparents were almost exactly the reverse - grandma 18, granddad 27 at first birth, although they got married first.

  7. #257
    Senior Member Sigebrond's Avatar
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    I don't think it's ever practical or ideal for men to marry women older than them, 2-4 years at a stretch but considering people are settling down later and later these days it's not a good idea really.

    I think for men they could really be anything up to 15 years older, but it should only come to that in a worst case scenario really. 10 years is the ideal maximum age gap I think. With men it doesn't matter in terms of fertility, it obviously does with women and it's really not desirable for women to leave it until their 30s or especially 40s to have kids.

  8. #258
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    There are good Germanic men in their fourties and fifties who are childless for whatever reason but who really want children. Obviously they have to find themselves women quite a bit younger than themselves to have babies as it's more or less too late for women in their fourties and fifties to have any.

    Yes there are risks having babies when you're older (goes for women mostly, but men too) but there's always a risk anyway, so I'd say go for it. I see nothing wrong with that, it's always nice with more Germanic babies.
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  9. #259
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    Plus/Minus 5 years were acceptable. Everything else could be problematic. But love happens and comes in strange ways.

  10. #260
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs vonTrep View Post
    There are good Germanic men in their fourties and fifties who are childless for whatever reason but who really want children. Obviously they have to find themselves women quite a bit younger than themselves to have babies as it's more or less too late for women in their fourties and fifties to have any.

    Yes there are risks having babies when you're older (goes for women mostly, but men too) but there's always a risk anyway, so I'd say go for it. I see nothing wrong with that, it's always nice with more Germanic babies.
    Agreed, I don't understand why it's often frowned upon for an older man in say his 40's to go out with a younger woman, providing she's at least over 18, while nobody seems to have an issue with older women dating younger men. If anything it's more positive if the woman is younger since she can bring some new people into the world, and most likely will be very well provided for.

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