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Thread: My Ethical Dilemma

  1. #11
    One with Nature
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    I wrote the earlier reply BEFORE reading your latest post. But still, things I wrote there are to be considered. I am just adding something.
    Quote Originally Posted by Reshki View Post
    [...]I think maybe things happened because I was on the RIGHT path.
    It's possible to be so. You should know it better. Things are more complicated than that, you know, and even more trails are coming towards you when you are on the RIGHT path.

    Quote Originally Posted by Reshki View Post
    As for him, well, he's my father, and is the last of my family. [...] my brother was killed (on the way home by some drug pushers -- yes, I admit this biases me against them) about 12 years ago.
    [...] I have a clear conscience about it, because he's the one who made me incapable of helping him, even if I was inclined to.
    Oh, it's your father... And the way your brother was killed... maybe this has something to say, as well. I can guess that you did everything you could to help your father, because it's your father.

    Some wise men are saying that we owe so much to our parents... Our parents, as they are, are the reason for our existence, in this form, here and now. I used to have an awful relationship with my mother, since my childhood, I was never going along well with her, for many many reasons. But now, being far away from her, I started to realize that she is my mother, and that means something. It's difficult to describe that in words, but... no matter what happens, our parents are our parents. I had something against that, because my relationship with my mother, but I started to realize something... I'm glad I did it now, and not later.


    Quote Originally Posted by Reshki View Post
    Starting a family is a no-go.[...]That'll put me in my 40s, and that's just to be scraping by. That is, unless something fortuitous happens.
    You can never know... Everything is possible.

    Quote Originally Posted by Reshki View Post
    His response? "Well, I didn't have any of that when I got married."
    My grandmother told me that many times. She and my grandfather didn't have anything, besides the clothes on them, when they got off into the world. And they started a family having not so much. My parents had lots of things, including a house bought by my grandparents, but their marriage wasn't a really happy one, it ended in divorce. They ended up having nothing more, materially speaking, than they had when they got married (excepting the children, of course). Unlike my grandparents. Ok, it can also be about the more general political and economical changes in the country, but still, that's not an excuse. However, if my parents didn't met and didn't found a family, I wouldn't have been born and I wouldn't have been here now. I should be grateful for that.

    And from other stories I've heard... you don't really need to have too much to be able to start a family or to get married. If you really want to do that, things will come towards granting your wish. But you should really want it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Reshki View Post
    The dream is gone.
    Don't think like that. It's not all about money and material things, even if they have an importance too. Just as SpearBrave also said.
    And if you have dreams, don't let them go. If you really believe in your dream, it will come true. Just be careful what dreams you have!

    If you didn't have that money... at that moment... could you have been able to help your father? You chose to do that. And if you didn't help him, or if you didn't have the money to help him, what could have happen then? You see, money is something you can have now, and the next day you can loose everything. You gave it to your father, but you could have lost them in other way, you can never know what could have happened. So try to value other things instead. There should be a good part about it, at all. Just try to see it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Reshki View Post
    I'm not going to get over it, every day of my life will be a reminder.
    It's good to learn from your own life experiences, but don't let it literally destroy your life. You can get over it. Yes, you can, if you want to. Some wise men say that he is able who he thinks he is able. It's your choice, after all. We have the life we create, and nothing is given to us just randomly.

    I really hope you'll get over it and do what's best to be done in your situation. So, good luck, again!
    Die Farben duften frisch und grün... Lieblich haucht der Wind um mich.

  2. #12
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    @ Reshki,

    Only give empathy to those that deserve empathy. Otherwise, sociopaths and those who turn into them will eat you like a living carcass. Preying upon your emotions and mental anguish. DON'T LET THEM DO IT!

    Close your heart forever to those monsters.

    Open your heart to the beautiful and kind people. TRUST ME ON THAT!!! You know who I mean, the carer types, the good souls.

    I've found, even when things are really, really bad, your emotional state is in tatters and things just keep slipping further away, thats when you need good people around to warm up your soul.

    It's like this, you could be in the sh*ttiest job, the crappest house and neighbourhood, but it's the light from the people around you that keep you sane and together, and even happiest.

    Rage and pain just eat you up. You need to re-evaluate to get that crap out of your life forever. Velvet is right on. Things that burn you will scar you for life unless you can replace it's burden with love, care and happiness, however you can get it.

    I would absolutley recommend watching the show 'The Secret', but keep rewatching it until the message clanks together in your head. You'll utterly know it when it happens. Everything will become clear and the path you take from here on in will emerge. Only you can pick the path you want, we can however express our will to make you feel a little more comforted.

    Anyway, trust Mouse Shadow, I've got a kind soul and artists firey blood, and that puts me in the firing line and hell most of the time. It's why I detest sociopaths more than Hitler hated the spews.

    Find strength, wisdom and warmth in the presence of kind people, becuase they like to help.
    Has Left Skadi. Bye!

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    Although not a sociopath per-se, I do posses strong sociopathic traits and ideals, I would say I'm sorry for it, but I'm not. Truthfully I am glad I am the sociopathic type, for some reason people have always been drawn to me, in school all of my teachers loved me, everyone liked me, and women in my classes were always flirting and asking me out, I never understood it, untill I realized I fit about 7/10 of the qualities of a sociopath. Even now people just seem drawn to me as a leader, and women always look at me and pay me extra attention, especially like waitresses and such.
    Ein Kampf, Ein Sieg! Fur Prussia!

  4. #14
    Eala Freia Fresena
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    Most of the time people get caught in the triangle of victim, perpetrator and rescuer.

    All the people and stories around them make them only see victims, perpetrators (bullies) and rescuers.

    To get out of that prison you have to change the view of your life. Things often happen because they have to happen. People play their roles in that game which is your fate. Don't take it personally otherwise you will just sink deeper into the mud.

    Remember it is the Gods which arrange things for you so you learn. The idea is to go beyond of what you know what you are. It is to gain spirituell mass to finally get to the realm of the Gods yourself.

    If you get stuck in that triangle you will gain nothing but pain. To free yourself of it is a healing attitude and you will come out a better being.

    Whether you see yourself as a victim of other people's deeds who leave you in a worse place after dealing with you, or if you see yourself as perpetrator, justifying being a bad ass or thinking that treating other people bad is a sign of strength, or if you see yourself as a rescuer who has to help other people, like relatives or friends or whatever, give it up and look from the eagle's point of view, see with the eyes of the Gods and think what you learn about it. Overcome your anger, pain, desperation or whatever mood there is and watch the story neutrally and objective from a high point. See yourself in a theater, on stage and think about that role.

    That triangle is a vicious cycle and a formidable trap.

    your attitudes will only change after you changed your being. Changing your being means hard work to overcome your own inner obstacles and points of view.

    I which you good luck, my friend. May your life be a travel and move on instead of getting stuck in one place.
    weel nich will dieken dej mot wieken

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