View Poll Results: Should I...

Voters
7. You may not vote on this poll
  • Ask her out anyway

    4 57.14%
  • Forget about her

    2 28.57%
  • other (please explain)

    1 14.29%
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: What to Do?

  1. #1
    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Last Online
    Friday, March 23rd, 2018 @ 11:20 PM
    Ethnicity
    Celtic-Germanic
    Gender
    Posts
    437
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    0
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    9
    Thanked in
    9 Posts

    What to Do?

    Hi guys me again.

    Well its been a long time since my last post here, but I thought I'll just update it a bit. Over the past few months I've been trying to find the right time to ask the girl I like out, unfortunately I kept hesitating during the few times I did manage to find a semi-decent opportunity and now I've just found out via facebook that she is dating someone else. Obviously I am extremely gutted.

    This isn't the first time she's dated someone though, I think I mentioned it earlier (in another thread) that she dated a guy about 7 months ago that she had known for about a week or two and it lasted only five weeks (he was 23; she was 22 but is 23 now). So far she's only known this guy for about one or two weeks as well (he is 25). I am really, really pissed at myself for not asking her out sooner but I really don't want to give up on her.

    I am good friends with her but I fear she now probably views me as just a friend, and to be honest I can't really blame her as I shouldn't have expected her to wait much longer (if she does like me that is). I mean I've tried to give hints like complimenting her and stuff but I was never 'forward' enough I guess.

    As far as I can see there are two options: wait a week or two for her initial 'yay I'm in a relationship' period to ware-off and go for broke by asking her out anyway (then claim ignorance about her relationship as she doesn't know that I know). OR just forget about her...

  2. #2
    Proffessional Hickerbilly
    „Friend of Germanics”
    Funding Membership Inactive
    SpearBrave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Last Online
    2 Weeks Ago @ 11:21 AM
    Status
    Available
    Ethnicity
    American of German decent
    Ancestry
    Bavaria/Switzerland
    Country
    Other Other
    State
    Kentucky Kentucky
    Location
    Central
    Gender
    Age
    53
    Zodiac Sign
    Libra
    Family
    Married
    Occupation
    Kunstschmiede
    Politics
    Self-Reliance
    Religion
    Asatru
    Posts
    4,574
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    2,796
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    1,372
    Thanked in
    641 Posts
    If you really like her go for broke, remember nobody likes a coward.

    If you do not ask then you might end up having regrets. Is this the same girl in the other thread, and you still have not asked her out?
    Life is like a fire hydrant- sometimes you help people put out their fires, but most of the time you just get peed on by every dog in the neighborhood.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Angus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Last Online
    Saturday, April 8th, 2017 @ 09:27 PM
    Status
    Available
    Ethnicity
    Germanic
    Country
    United Kingdom United Kingdom
    Gender
    Family
    Single adult
    Politics
    Moderate
    Religion
    Folkish Heathen
    Posts
    748
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    0
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    6
    Thanked in
    5 Posts
    If it were me, i'd still ask her. atleast this way you know where you stand and you wont be left wondering "what if ".

  4. #4
    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Last Online
    Friday, March 23rd, 2018 @ 11:20 PM
    Ethnicity
    Celtic-Germanic
    Gender
    Posts
    437
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    0
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    9
    Thanked in
    9 Posts
    I'd also like to add that I am 99% sure that she likes/liked me as she'd often give several signs that she did i.e.

    - She looks me in the eyes when we talk

    - Her eyes dilate a bit (which is an uncontrollable giveaway apparently)

    - She always sits next to me in our lectures

    - When we pass in the halls she'd say "hey" then blush a little bit (it's hard to tell though as we're both a bit shy).

    - When she was dating the first guy I asked her if she wanted to get some coffee (in similar circumstances to the following story) and she agreed; even while she was dating, although I suppose it wasn't too suggestive a thing to ask.

    - Recently after having met her just a few minutes before, she came into the computer lab where I was working (even though I've never seen her use this particular room before) and sat next to me; which isn't a big deal in itself but the thing is I looked at her screen and she wasn't actually doing any work - she was just flicking through her files. This was suspicious to me as I've often done the same thing with her just as an excuse to talk to her.
    Just after this I asked if she wanted to grab a coffee across the road and she replied "you mean go and get some and then come back here", I said "yeah" then she said "yup sure". We then went and got some and while we waited we talked for a few minutes about school, friends and family - it was a good conversation if not a tiny bit forced (I noticed she was a bit nervous in her speech too); as most engagements between such people are.
    The other strange thing was that she doesn't even like coffee as all 4 times I've been with her to a coffee shop (twice on our own) she never ordered coffee (she'd always order something else).
    That was about 3 weeks ago and unfortunately I think it was my last good chance I had while she was single.

  5. #5
    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Last Online
    Friday, March 23rd, 2018 @ 11:20 PM
    Ethnicity
    Celtic-Germanic
    Gender
    Posts
    437
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    0
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    9
    Thanked in
    9 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by G Baughman View Post
    If you really like her go for broke, remember nobody likes a coward.

    If you do not ask then you might end up having regrets. Is this the same girl in the other thread, and you still have not asked her out?
    Yup this is the same girl from "I have a Dilemma" http://forums.skadi.net/showthread.php?t=112850 - the 'smarter', christian one. I know its sad that I haven't asked her out by now but I've always found it hard in social situations as I was very shy as a child and it's only recently (in the past 2-3 years) that I've really 'come out of my shell' (I now go out to town or to parties quite frequently and have a lot more friends than I used to) but I've always felt that I have alot of catching up to do.

    Quote Originally Posted by Olav View Post
    If it were me, i'd still ask her. at least this way you know where you stand and you wont be left wondering "what if ".
    My hope is that I can at least let her know that I like her (without any doubt), so at least then (if she does like me) she might be more inclined to dump him like she did with the other guy.

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Ahren's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Last Online
    Saturday, March 7th, 2020 @ 01:30 AM
    Ethnicity
    Austrian+Serbian
    Subrace
    Atlanto-Nordid
    Gender
    Age
    33
    Family
    Single adult
    Politics
    Freiheit für Süd-Tirol
    Posts
    124
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    0
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    1
    Thanked in
    1 Post
    If she's hints that she's unhappy in her new relationship, I'd say ask her out. Otherwise I'd suggest you forget about her, she's with someone else. She sounds like she's flirting with you, which a lot of girls do, it doesn't necessarily mean she's into you. She might just enjoy the attention. There are so many girls out there, believe me you'll find someone else.

  7. #7
    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Last Online
    Friday, March 23rd, 2018 @ 11:20 PM
    Ethnicity
    Celtic-Germanic
    Gender
    Posts
    437
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    0
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    9
    Thanked in
    9 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Ahren View Post
    If she's hints that she's unhappy in her new relationship, I'd say ask her out. Otherwise I'd suggest you forget about her, she's with someone else. She sounds like she's flirting with you, which a lot of girls do, it doesn't necessarily mean she's into you. She might just enjoy the attention. There are so many girls out there, believe me you'll find someone else.
    Personally I don't think she's the kind of girl who flirts with people for attention, as I mentioned before she is a bit shy like myself. The thing is though that like Olav suggested if I don't tell her I'll never know.

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Angus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Last Online
    Saturday, April 8th, 2017 @ 09:27 PM
    Status
    Available
    Ethnicity
    Germanic
    Country
    United Kingdom United Kingdom
    Gender
    Family
    Single adult
    Politics
    Moderate
    Religion
    Folkish Heathen
    Posts
    748
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    0
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    6
    Thanked in
    5 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by InvaderNat View Post
    Personally I don't think she's the kind of girl who flirts with people for attention, as I mentioned before she is a bit shy like myself. The thing is though that like Olav suggested if I don't tell her I'll never know.
    Sometimes you just got to go for it mate. If you go for it, theres a chance that things will work out in the way you want them to and from you've been telling us it sounds like a good chance, but if you dont.. you simply wont know what could of happened.

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Ahren's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Last Online
    Saturday, March 7th, 2020 @ 01:30 AM
    Ethnicity
    Austrian+Serbian
    Subrace
    Atlanto-Nordid
    Gender
    Age
    33
    Family
    Single adult
    Politics
    Freiheit für Süd-Tirol
    Posts
    124
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    0
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    1
    Thanked in
    1 Post
    Don't let my post persuade you otherwise. You know her best, it sounds like there's some chemistry there, so just ask her.

  10. #10
    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Last Online
    Friday, March 23rd, 2018 @ 11:20 PM
    Ethnicity
    Celtic-Germanic
    Gender
    Posts
    437
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    0
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    9
    Thanked in
    9 Posts
    You know its actually quite weird this time, last time I found out she was dating someone else (after hesitating for months) I was devastated. But this time its worn-off much, much quicker and I am actually feeling okay now that I've decided to just suck it up and ask her out. I guess because I now feel like I have nothing to lose by going for broke, cause the pressure is off.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •