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Thread: I Have ADHD

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    Senior Member Rik's Avatar
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    Exclamation I Have ADHD

    Yes it is. I have ADHD. It's not my fault, it was already there at birth. 2 days ago, at the age of 15 years and 9 months, I got diagnosed. When I was 10, there were visible signs of the disorder, but they got ignored because I'm smart and live in a stable family and everybody thinks ADHD only occurs in dumb children from a broken family. I'm not a spoiled annoying brat. Because of a disorder in my brains, my senses just need a lot of stimulation or else I get bored. My parents learned (and still learn) me manners and discipline and I often got a slap when I was acting rude when I was younger. I don't get everything I want and often do chores to earn some more. I regularly cause trouble because of my impulsivity. Teachers and the Principal of my current school think I'm scum. I often tell them I'm bored, need a challenge and do a lot of dumb things just for fun and without thinking, just for the sake of staying alive. They think I'm lying and that I'm trying to sabotage and vandalise everything ever. They think I'm criminally insane and an attention whore. Both of those assumptions are incorrect; I really like to help society, I hate it when teachers give me attention just because I'm fidgeting or when larger groups of people give my attention just because of my hyperactivity. I'm only like that because I "want to stay alive", not because I want attention. I get nervous (and sometimes shy) out of embarassement when I get unwanted attention, because I'm aware most people focus on my overactivity. And how do I express that nervous feeling? Even more fidgeting and looking around nervously, trying to distract myself from the attention.

    Discuss [about ADHD].
    "There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue."

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    Senior Member Ahren's Avatar
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    I had a learning disabilitiy when I was your age. I still have trouble concentrating at times. I try to improve myself always, little by little, every day. But What I want to stress to you is that you should not waste your time being too concerned what other people are thinking of you at school. Everyone else at your age is establishing their identity and will look to others to take negative attention away from themselves. If you have specific talents, focus on them and slowly improve yourself.
    There are many possible causes for ADHD, may be genetic, may be the fast-pased television culture we were brought up in. I can't give advice on how to treat it, just get the assistance you need to move forward in life and focus on your talents too.
    Get good grades so you can get to a good University, that's when school actually gets interesting. Enjoy your youth!

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    Anyone and everyone with allot of energy and alertness can be diagnosed with ADHD. Doctors just love to pass drugs like ritalin around like candy. Focus on the task, practice makes perfect.

    Hyperactivity is allot better than being diagnosed as a "slow" child IMO

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    I've never been diagnosed with anything, and never will allow myself to get into a position where the medical establishment will get their hands on me. I've been witness for 30+ years to what they have done with my mother and will never ever let that happen to me. It really sickens me that these people get paid six-figure salaries and really don't seem to know what they're doing much of the time. Anyway, I had similar issues, I found school to be boring and confining, yet I love learning about many things; sitting in a school with degenerate peers who were only interested in talking about music, movies, sports, and the opposite sex, who were stridently anti-intellectual, disdainful of heritage and culture, was quite frustrating. Unfortunately, the work-world is just a continuation of high school. it's taken me a long time to accept this, to realize that I was for the most part right about my beliefs; it bothers me that I had let those people etc. get me down, and it's only been in the last few years that I've really gotten around to being the person that I should have been if not for my degenerate peers and failed Canadian educational system.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Oski View Post
    Anyone and everyone with allot of energy and alertness can be diagnosed with ADHD. Doctors just love to pass drugs like ritalin around like candy. Focus on the task, practice makes perfect.

    Hyperactivity is allot better than being diagnosed as a "slow" child IMO
    In my case, it is REAL ADHD. I have problems focussing on tasks during school, I'm alert of everything except the important and practices easily annoy me.

    Boredom:
    Gardisten, my diagnose is not based on boredom. It's about not being able to concentrate long enough and thus only looking bored. Boredom is the lack of activity, but people with ADHD are never really bored because their brain is always creating and transporting new Catecholamines (adrenaline/noradrenaline/dopamine), causing unrest and the need to express that unresty feeling. For example:
    When my class is bored, they are quiet, don't move and look asleep. When I'm "bored", I look around searching for something interesting and all of the sudden decide to use some crayons and draw random silly figures in the window.

    Genetic or Environmental, Real Disorder or Spoiled Brat:
    It's genetic, chronic, not caused by television, not totally curable and present from birth 'till death. The symptoms weaken after puberty, but are always there. It isn't a childish phase in life. That's also the main difference between spoiled hyperactive brats [that are diagnosed with the disorder as an excuse for them to do everything they want] and people with actual ADHD. The brats are fully aware of their bad actions and use it to their advantage, while the ADHDeurs only do bad actions because of an uncontrolable urge for fun and the matching impulsivity. They aren't aware of the danger until (told) afterwards. Ofcourse, they need to be punished when commiting a serious crime, but that behaviour doesn't happen frequently because they aren't really concentrated on the serious things. The brats however, they have it all planned out.

    Treatment, Abuse and Adults with ADHD:
    Children with ADHD aren't bad children, they're busy children. They need structure and discipline, but also a lot of time and space to express themselves. That way, they'll cope with their chronic disorder and live a fairly decent live. Too much structure and discipline will make them timebombs ready to explode in adulthood.
    And I guess that's the real reason even some of the most decent teachers and parents get ultra-violent. When they were young, that got insulted and physicaly punished and avoided by society because of their behaviour. And now, they recognize the same symptoms they had themselves in the children with ADHD. Bad old memories resurface, fueled by the hateful words of their abusive peers. "I was scum. I deserved it. And these children act the same as me back then. So these children are also scum. They deserve the punishment. The abuse made me a normal adult and the same will happen to them."
    But as said earlier, it didn't make them normal at all. It made them timebombs, invisible dangers to society that can explode any minute as they age and conceal years of inhuman rage and unrest.



    NOTE: VERY PERSONAL AND ACTUALLY KIND OF PRIVATE STORY
    It's genetic and I really think my father is partly the cause. He fits perfect in the timebomb-adult role I explained. My grandmother raised him very authoritarian. She knew he was (and still is) often impulsive, nervous, easily irritated and stubborn. However, she is full of pride and never links those problems to a possible disorder. A disorder in the family? Impossible and shameful! Instead of treating him, she sent him and my uncles to a nearby aunt or the daycare of the school during the day. The only moment she paid attention to them, was during dinner. And when dinner was finished, the 4 boys went to their rooms, were forced to study 2 hours and sleep. After 40 years, my grandmother still claims ADHD doesn't exist. The reason why my father got punished, was because he was "bad" and "disobedient". Because of this lack of right to express himself, he probarly couldn't develop properly and didn't accomplish his ambitions. The result? The typical "My Perfect Son" ideal. He would get a handsome son without any complications (not born premature, no weight problems, no behaviour disorder, etc...) and that son accomplishes everything he couldn't because of his authoritarian upbringing. But it went wrong. He got a premature twin that weighed only half of a regular twin. 1 of them was abnormally quiet, shy and passive, the other (me) was loud, odd and active. But he couldn't escape from his mother's heritage and his manner of dealing with children is also authoritarian. In my first 10 years of life, there was no real problem. But after that it started to change. Just like him in his childhood, I also was (and still am) very nervous, impulsive, easily irritated and often stubborn. Instead of thinking about the possibility of a disorder, he also ignored it like my grandmother. My son having a disorder?! Impossible! Instead, he acted like my grandmother reacted in those situations of tension. He goes berserk, tries to hurt me, shouts horrible insults, breaks stuf...
    And the day after? He's full of regrets, almost obedient. He never told/tells why, but I think I know. Everytime he gets angry because of my behaviour, he remembers his childhood. And then he realises he has actually insulted and assaulted his teenage self and acted just as authoritarian as my grandmother. And next to that he also realises that that same authoritarianism has prevented him from reaching his goals and will also prevent me from doing that. He still has regular tantrums, but has dropped his forced perfectionism. He made a tantrum when I was suspended for 2 days from school, but at the same time he also could've lost his job because of his stubborn behaviour towards his chairmen. A week later, I got diagnosed with ADHD. I an my mother confronted him what the fact that he isn't perfect either and also possesses various symptoms of a behaviour disorder. And for the first time ever, he somewhat accepted it.

    Conclusions of the story: Disorders are from all era's. Sometimes you just need to accept your flaws. You can "fix" spoiled brats with authoritarianism, but trying that with a genuine chronic behaviour disorders will only make it worse.
    ________________________________________ _____________________
    This is for all the people who think ADHD has to do with intellect:

    Predominantly inattentive type symptoms include:
    Be easily distracted, miss details, forget things, and frequently switch from one activity to another
    Have difficulty focusing on one thing
    Become bored with a task after only a few minutes, unless they are doing something enjoyable
    Have difficulty focusing attention on organizing and completing a task or learning something new
    Have trouble completing or turning in homework assignments, often losing things (e.g., pencils, toys, assignments) needed to complete tasks or activities
    Not seem to listen when spoken to
    Daydream, become easily confused, and move slowly
    Have difficulty processing information as quickly and accurately as others
    Struggle to follow instructions.

    Predominantly hyperactive-impulsive type symptoms include:
    Fidget and squirm in their seats
    Talk nonstop
    Dash around, touching or playing with anything and everything in sight
    Have trouble sitting still during dinner, school, and story time
    Be constantly in motion
    Have difficulty doing quiet tasks or activities.

    and also these manifestations primarily of impulsivity:
    Be very impatient
    Blurt out inappropriate comments, show their emotions without restraint, and act without regard for consequences
    Have difficulty waiting for things they want or waiting their turns in games

    See anything having to do with intellect? No. It simply doesn't have anything to do with it.
    ________________________________________ _________


    PS: Gardisten, I'm interested in music, cult movies, history, culture, politics, my Germanic heritage and most of all the opposite sex. How degenerate am I?
    "There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rik View Post
    PS: Gardisten, I'm interested in music, cult movies, history, culture, politics, my Germanic heritage and most of all the opposite sex. How degenerate am I?
    I guess I shouldn't really be surprised that you didn't comprehend my post. Here, just read this part again:

    "sitting in a school with degenerate peers who were only interested in talking about music, movies, sports, and the opposite sex, who were stridently anti-intellectual, disdainful of heritage and culture, was quite frustrating"

    You have to assess for yourself how degenerate you are. Chances are if your offended by the supposed insinuation, then maybe you've got some thinking to do on what your priorities are.

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    Big deal. Had all this diagnosing been around 150 or 200 years ago, you'd be surprised how many folk heroes and great thinkers, would have had ADHD. I have Asperger's Syndrome and am thus listed on the "Autism spectrum", but am not offended to have the same "disorder/disability" which Leonardo da Vinci and W.A. Mozart are, retrospectively, believed to have "suffered" from.
    -In kalte Schatten versunken... /Germaniens Volk erstarrt / Gefroren von Lügen / In denen die Welt verharrt-
    -Die alte Seele trauernd und verlassen / Verblassend in einer erklärbaren Welt / Schwebend in einem Dunst der Wehmut / Ein Schrei der nur unmerklich gellt-
    -Auch ich verspüre Demut / Vor dem alten Geiste der Ahnen / Wird es mir vergönnt sein / Gen Walhalla aufzufahren?-

    (Heimdalls Wacht, In kalte Schatten versunken, stanzas 4-6)

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    Senior Member velvet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rik
    In my case, it is REAL ADHD. I have problems focussing on tasks during school, I'm alert of everything except the important and practices easily annoy me.

    I have ADD, the version without hyperactivity, and I faced the same problems like you, that the symptoms got completely ignored. I was called an annoying brat, disobedient, stubborn (well, I am ). Maybe due to the lack of the hyperactivity, I learned myself to "ignore" it. When you're used to being ignored with your problems, instead of getting help, you run into all sorts of problems to handle your life properly. And you get used to it, you are basically teached to ignore problems. So, my first advise is to get yourself therapeutical help to learn to deal with yourself.

    For the concentration thing, I dont know how much that differs due to the hyperactivity, but I found out that music helps me. This was late that I found this out, but listening to music, concentrating with one ear on that, keeps your mind free for other "the important" tasks and maybe even can calm down the hyperactivity, when you manage to keep your mind busy. Ask your teachers to allow you to listen music, just to test it, with one ear, so that you still can hear them of course Or test it at home when you do homework or something. I found silence around me always the most distracting thing, because silence is never really silent, specially not in school.

    And then, although you're almost through with school, so I dont know whether that makes sense for you. But maybe it is also a good idea to look around for other schools, private schools maybe, but a school were more teachers care for fewer pupils, so that they can adjust the stuff and teaching methods to your disorder requirements. I always had that problem too that I only was good in subjects where I had "fun", the rest simply didnt reach me in any way. This sucks, specially when you know that you're not stupid (I have an IQ somewhere between between 125 or 132, made several tests hehe), but f.e. math beyond the basic stuff simply fell through. On the other hand, physics I liked a lot, still do. Anyway, you will simply have to accept that you will be good without much doing for it in the subjects you like and have fun with, and the rest will at best be mediocre. Therefore, since papers are so disgustingly important for whatever you want to do as job later, it is important that you get special training that you dont mess up completely.

    For your parents. Get them to go to a doc, a therapist, groups whatever, for that they learn to accept the disorder. And demand that they accept you, as their family member with that disorder. It's noone's "fault", it's just the way it is and you and they will have to learn to deal with it, so that they dont make it worse for you. Being in puberty, going through the process of becoming mature is hard enough and many kids freak out in that time. Having such a disorder on top requires that your family stands behind you and supports you in a positive way. For that they can do that though it is important that they know what is wrong and what they can do. Professional help, also for them, is essential.

    For your freetime. Get yourself one or more hobbies. As you said yourself, you need structure, not just "random fun". Instruments, sports, whatever you like, and then follow it at fixed times a week (for the discipline thing).

    And yes, it is true that it becomes more bearable with age. A friend of mine has ADHD too, he's always active. He has fife bands, several few-hour jobs (that he doesnt get bored with one), and keeps himself busy with all sorts of stuff. But he has learned to channel the hyperactivity to useful activities that prevents him from becoming the time-bomb. He's still far from "calming down" to anything near normal level, although as old as me, but he has learned to deal with it and make the best from it. He needed to sort this out himself too, was diagnosed only in his late 20s. Get yourself as much help as possible, that you learn methods to channel it, control it to a certain degree, that it doesnt mess up your life. And it will when it gets ignored or handled wrong.
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    Quote Originally Posted by velvet View Post
    For the concentration thing, I dont know how much that differs due to the hyperactivity, but I found out that music helps me. This was late that I found this out, but listening to music, concentrating with one ear on that, keeps your mind free for other "the important" tasks and maybe even can calm down the hyperactivity, when you manage to keep your mind busy.
    This is very interesting. I found myself doing things better while listening to music, for example learning or reading for exams, while the most of my school mates are not able to do that, they get distracted by music. Well, music can help me on focusing, when it's a music I'm used to (not completely new for my ears, otherwise I get distracted)... I remember when I was in high school, reading for some national contest in history... I was kind of nervous, and I was reading loudly while listening to music... and also singing some of the lyrics along with the music from time to time... but still being focused mainly on the texts I had to read. My mother was kind of shocked, she never understood how I could manage with all of them at the same time, but this is how I did it... several times, not only then.

    I am also very stubborn, at least sometimes, I've been kind of a brat, and maybe I still can be sometimes... but I've been lucky because my parents were more permissive with me... my father received a very authoritarian education, and this was a reason for him NOT to do the same thing with his children. And I'm really glad, and thankful, about it.

    Well... ADHD or not, I found myself in some of the descriptions written in the previous posts... However, I don't care about diagnostics... and my luck, maybe, is that I get very enthusiastic about almost anything, in certain circumstances, and I always find something to do, I really can't understand how someone could ever be "bored", at least for a longer period of time... it never happens to me, I am just finding something to do, or to think about. Simple like that. Maybe I'm "normal" (by the way, I always considered the "normal" limit to be quite relative... and maybe even mediocre), but however, consider that I am coming from Eastern Europe where people don't seem to care that much about these types of disorders, or diagnostics, they had "other important things" to deal with in the last decades... This is interesting, probably I didn't get to read this thread just by accident...


    Quote Originally Posted by velvet View Post
    I found silence around me always the most distracting thing, because silence is never really silent, specially not in school.
    Actually music, if it's something I'm familiar with, helps me not getting distracted by other sounds. I focus on music, while I'm doing what I have to (for example reading), otherwise I'd be distracted by each single sound and ending up being quite angry. However, sometimes I can focus on my activity without music, this is especially when I'm (more or less) tired... so maybe I'm in "normal" limits... maybe...


    Quote Originally Posted by velvet View Post
    I always had that problem too that I only was good in subjects where I had "fun", the rest simply didnt reach me in any way. [...] Anyway, you will simply have to accept that you will be good without much doing for it in the subjects you like and have fun with, and the rest will at best be mediocre.
    Well... I had and still have the same problem... I can get very deeply into something I like, without too much effort, but avoiding and being somehow superficial with subjects I do not like... however, I get easily enthusiastic, so sometimes I had the luck to get enthusiastic by some parts of the subjects I didn't actually like, and this helped me to deal with them. Can this be a possibility to deal with it? Just trying to see more of something, being curious about it... Maybe that only works for me because I'm more curious by nature, but in some situations I am really not curious, I don't want to.

    Quote Originally Posted by velvet View Post
    And yes, it is true that it becomes more bearable with age. A friend of mine has ADHD too, he's always active. He has fife bands, several few-hour jobs (that he doesnt get bored with one), and keeps himself busy with all sorts of stuff. But he has learned to channel the hyperactivity to useful activities that prevents him from becoming the time-bomb. He's still far from "calming down" to anything near normal level, although as old as me, but he has learned to deal with it and make the best from it. He needed to sort this out himself too, was diagnosed only in his late 20s.
    This looks like an advantage. Why to consider it a "disease" (something doesn't sound good about this term), when you could see it as a possible quality? Just transform it into a quality, take advantage of it... of course, this requires a lot of work, nothing valuable is supposed to be get easily, but I think the effort would be worth it. I guess not so many people have this "quality" of being able to do so many things at the same time... and if you manage to do many things in a good way, at the same time, many would envy you for that! Practice makes perfect, of course, so why not try it?
    Congratulations for your friend, velvet, to be able to deal with it by himself! And the idea of getting more part-time jobs, instead of one full-time repetitive job sounds like the solution for me, as well! Many thanks to mention it, it's a good advice!
    Die Farben duften frisch und grün... Lieblich haucht der Wind um mich.

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    Senior Member Rik's Avatar
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    Wow, I'm getting better reactions than I thought.
    The mentality on this board is mainly conservative, so I expected a lot of reactions like "it doesn't exist, parents should give them a slap, ignore them..."

    My very close family (parents and siblings) accept me is I am. But I won't try to convince my paternal family it isn't that bad and has nothing to do with nurture per se. A young paternal cousin often behaves strange. When his teachers noticed it, they contacted my aunt and asked her if they can test him because he has autistic symptoms. Instead of agreeing with the test, she immediatly decided to get him out of that school and place him in another. My maternal family? I don't know how they would react. They're much calmer and tolerant. I guess they will accept it.

    Also, I have a hobby. I regularly attend metalgigs, especially thrash metal. I mosh, crodwsurf and stagedive so much, I feel exhausted in a pleasant way. Sadly, that feeling lasts only a day (Sunday is the day of rest, especially in my case). So Monday I'm fully hyped again by the fun I had. I tried to play guitar, but I hated to practise. Seems vocalist suits me better, because I master the art of the thrash metal falsetto and I often demonstrate it in normal life.
    "There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue."

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