Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Why Do Men Die Before Their Spouses?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Phlegethon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Last Online
    Monday, April 4th, 2016 @ 11:13 PM
    Gender
    Age
    47
    Posts
    2,868
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    0
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    5
    Thanked in
    5 Posts

    Why Do Men Die Before Their Spouses?

    Why Do Men Die Before Their Spouses?



    If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race... you're a male chauvinist.
    If you stay home and do the housework...you're a pansy.

    If you work too hard...there's never any time for her.
    If you don't work enough...you're a good-for-nothing bum.

    If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay..this is exploitation.
    If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay.....you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.


    If you get a promotion ahead of her....that is favoritism.
    If she gets a job ahead of you.....it's equal opportunity.

    If you mention how nice she looks......it's sexual harassment.
    If you keep quiet..........it's male indifference.

    If you cry............you're a wimp.
    If you don't........you're insensitive.

    If you make a decision without consulting her.........you're a chauvinist.
    If she makes a decision without consulting you......she's a liberated woman.

    If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy....... that's domination.
    If SHE asks you..........it's a favor.

    If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear......you're a pervert.
    If you don't.............you're gay.

    If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape......you're sexist.
    If you don't................you're unromantic.

    If you try to keep yourself in shape................you're vain.
    If you don't...............you're a slob.

    If you buy her flowers............you're after something.
    If you don't....................you're not thoughtful.

    If you're proud of your achievements.........you're full of yourself.
    If you don't....................you're not ambitious.

    If she has a headache............she's tired.
    If you have a headache.............you don't love her anymore.

    If you want it too often.........you're oversexed.
    If you don't................there must be someone else.

    Men die first because they want to???
    And all my youth passed by sad-hearted,
    the joy of Spring was never mine;
    Autumn blows through me dread of parting,
    and my heart dreams and longs to die.

    - Nikolaus Lenau (1802-1850)

    Real misanthropes are not found in solitude, but in the world; since it is experience of life, and not philosophy, which produces real hatred of mankind.

    - Giacomo Leopardi (1798-1837)

  2. #2
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Last Online
    Monday, June 6th, 2005 @ 02:03 AM
    Subrace
    Corded Pontid/Cro-Magnid
    Country
    Other Other
    Location
    Ankh-Morpork
    Gender
    Age
    40
    Occupation
    Evil water sprite
    Politics
    laissez-faire
    Religion
    Impious free thinker
    Posts
    1,095
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    0
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    0
    Thanked in
    0 Posts

    Post Re: Why Do Men Die Before Their Spouses?


    If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race... you're a male chauvinist.

    If you mention how nice she looks......it's sexual harassment.

    If you cry............you're a wimp.

    If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear......you're a pervert.

    If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape......you're sexist.

    If you try to keep yourself in shape................you're vain.

    If you buy her flowers............you're after something.

    If you're proud of your achievements.........you're full of yourself.

    If you want it too often.........you're oversexed.
    Hahaha. I have no problem with the above situations. I would never make such comments, and in fact I would highly encourage them. However, this is very true:

    If you have a headache.............you don't love her anymore.
    Sorry guys, well known fact.

  3. #3
    Account Inactive bocian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Last Online
    Saturday, January 13th, 2007 @ 08:38 AM
    Subrace
    Intermarine (Arya)
    Country
    European Union European Union
    Gender
    Politics
    N/A
    Posts
    987
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    0
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    0
    Thanked in
    0 Posts

    Post Re: Why Do Men Die Before Their Spouses?

    Quote Originally Posted by Phlegethon
    Why Do Men Die Before Their Spouses?



    If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race... you're a male chauvinist.
    If you stay home and do the housework...you're a pansy.

    If you work too hard...there's never any time for her.
    If you don't work enough...you're a good-for-nothing bum.

    If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay..this is exploitation.
    If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay.....you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.


    If you get a promotion ahead of her....that is favoritism.
    If she gets a job ahead of you.....it's equal opportunity.

    If you mention how nice she looks......it's sexual harassment.
    If you keep quiet..........it's male indifference.

    If you cry............you're a wimp.
    If you don't........you're insensitive.

    If you make a decision without consulting her.........you're a chauvinist.
    If she makes a decision without consulting you......she's a liberated woman.

    If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy....... that's domination.
    If SHE asks you..........it's a favor.

    If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear......you're a pervert.
    If you don't.............you're gay.

    If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape......you're sexist.
    If you don't................you're unromantic.

    If you try to keep yourself in shape................you're vain.
    If you don't...............you're a slob.

    If you buy her flowers............you're after something.
    If you don't....................you're not thoughtful.

    If you're proud of your achievements.........you're full of yourself.
    If you don't....................you're not ambitious.

    If she has a headache............she's tired.
    If you have a headache.............you don't love her anymore.

    If you want it too often.........you're oversexed.
    If you don't................there must be someone else.

    Men die first because they want to???
    So true! After reading this I wanted to laugh. After thinking about it, I want to cry.

Similar Threads

  1. Do Men Want Children, Too? / Are Modern Men Afraid of Commitment?
    By Adalheid in forum Men, Women, & Relationships
    Replies: 78
    Last Post: 2 Weeks Ago, 02:30 AM
  2. Replies: 0
    Last Post: Saturday, July 8th, 2017, 11:04 AM
  3. Replies: 1
    Last Post: Monday, March 6th, 2017, 05:52 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •