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Thread: Virtual Sex: Threat to Real Intimacy?

  1. #1
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    Virtual Sex: Threat to Real Intimacy?

    The online sexual revolution may be having an impact on real-world relationships.

    By Heather Hatfield
    WebMD Feature

    Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

    As convenient as the drive-up window at your favorite fast-food restaurant, online sex requires little effort short of booting up and logging on. With its easy access comes an increasing number of people who are banging away at their computers for some electronic satisfaction. A survey of Canadian college students found that 87% of more than 2,500 respondents 'fessed up to technology-assisted sex via tools like instant message, webcams, and text message.

    But what does the online sexual revolution have to say about the future of intimacy, relationships, communication, and honesty? Experts provide cyber perspective to those seeking sex in cyberspace.

    Noah Gurza is one of the founders of CampusKiss.com, Canada's largest online dating community for university and college students. He posted a survey on the Internet, with 2,684 students from more than 150 universities and colleges in Canada responding.

    "Primarily it was an opportunity to gauge the views of students nationwide on their views on sex, their sex lives, practices, and desires," Gurza tells WebMD.

    He posed questions like, how many times a week do you have sex? Do you practice monogamy? And the heavy hitter, do you have virtual sex?

    Surprising Answers

    "We were expecting a high number of students to respond to this question as having engaged in virtual sex," Gurza says. "A number approximating around 50% was our expected guess. We knew it would be high, given that students were filling this survey anonymously and as such would feel comfortable being truthful about their sexual habits."

    Gurza was surprised to find 50% wasn't even close.

    "Eighty-seven percent having had virtual sex was astonishing to us, but upon reflection it is very much a testament to the demographic we are dealing with," says Gurza, of the 18- to 22-year-olds who responded to the survey -- many of whom grew up in an online world. "Given the Net has infused many aspects of their lives, it is only fitting that this would be extended to social elements of their interaction and by proxy to the sexual dimensions of their lives."

    New Technology, New Choices

    Email, instant messaging, the ever-handy text message via cell phone, webcam, chat rooms, and the tried-and-true telephone -- all the technologies of choice for those looking for cyber pleasure.

    With a new generation well-versed in the language of high-tech love, what about those who think of an online world as foreign? And what does virtual sex have to say about the real deal? Is old-fashioned hanky panky a thing of the past? And intimacy and honesty -- too much of a hassle?

    "Virtual sex infiltrated the culture about five years ago when it wasn't just the techies anymore -- it was anyone who was interested in this type of sexual stimulation," says Louanne Cole Weston, PhD, a board-certified sex therapist in Fair Oaks, Calif. "The average person could participate without having to be technologically fluent."
    http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationshi...-real-intimacy

  2. #2
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    I never understood the point behind cybersex much, it's just not the real thing. It's something I've tried to understand, but ultimately failed at understanding.

    I suppose if you're away from your partner for a lengthier period but still want to exchange little erotic bits then it's fine. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and if that's a way of communicating intimacies during this long period of being separated, there's nothing wrong about it.

    What I can't understand though is people that meet people online, have cybersex with them before having met them even once, and then building a whole reality on it. I suppose there's people who become real online trophy hunters, jumping into cyberbed with as many people as possible?

    Resumé: If it's something to enhance your intra-relationship life during periods of prolonged separation, it's absolutely fine and not to be scorned. If it basically replaces your social life, and serves as a catalyst to use relative anonymity to "whore yourself" throughout cyberspace, it's IMO nothing short of pitiful. Just pitiful.
    -In kalte Schatten versunken... /Germaniens Volk erstarrt / Gefroren von Lügen / In denen die Welt verharrt-
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    -Auch ich verspüre Demut / Vor dem alten Geiste der Ahnen / Wird es mir vergönnt sein / Gen Walhalla aufzufahren?-

    (Heimdalls Wacht, In kalte Schatten versunken, stanzas 4-6)

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    One of the benefits of "cyber-sex".

    Bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
    BritneySpears14: Aight.
    Bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
    BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, Bloodninja.
    Bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
    Bloodninja: Me too baby.
    BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
    Bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
    BritneySpears14: Hey...
    Bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite.
    BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
    Bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness.
    BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
    Bloodninja: Don't f**k with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
    Bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid.
    BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece.
    Bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
    Bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
    Bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
    Bloodninja: Baby?
    http://people.ambrosiasw.com/~andrew...loodcyber.html
    Life is a well of delight; but where the rabble also drink, there all fountains are poisoned.

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    People who have cybersex are basically freaks to me. Normal, real sex has the point of reproduction. It's biologically programmed in us. But cybersex? What's the point? Hedonism and a waste of time, because you can't form a real bond, a real relationship with the person you screw online. Some people don' even talk to each other again after the act. How degenerate.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sigurd View Post
    I never understood the point behind cybersex much, it's just not the real thing.
    Precisely. That's what's 'advantageous' about it. Some friends of mine would complain they caught their husband/partner having cybersex. The thing was, it was much easier and discreet to have. It's anonymous, STD and pregnancy free, and no strings or phone calls are attached. I don't consider it real sex, more like a form of masturbation, but still enough to be counted as cheating.

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