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Thread: Grappe...

  1. #1
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    Grappe...

    Vriendelike Jood

    Koos kom op Keimoes aan, moeg gery daar vanaf Carnarvon se wêreld, en stap die winkel in wat aan die Jood behoort. Na ’n kort bekendstelling vra die Jood: “Is jy nie Koos die perdeteler nie?”

    Koos knik instemmend.

    “Ek soek ’n baie goeie perd – kan jy my help?”

    Die Jood betaal dadelik die gevraagde R1000-00 met die ooreenkoms dat Koos die perd met die trein sal stuur.

    By die huis aangekom, vind Koos die perd dood in die stal. Wat nou gemaak? Hy laai die dooie perd op sy bakkie, ry spoorwegstasie toe, praat mooi met die stasiemeester en laai die dooie perd vir die Jood.

    Drie maande gaan verby – geen klagte van die Jood nie. Koos voel skuldig, bel die Jood en verneem hoe dit gaan met die perd. Die Jood beduie dat die perd dood aangekom het op Keimoes.

    “Moet ek die geld vir jou terugstuur?” vra Koos.

    “Nee, dis nie nodig nie – ek het by die kerkbasaar kaartjies verkoop teen R2-00 stuk en meer as ’n 1000 kaartjies verkoop”.

    “Was die wenner nie ontevrede met die dooie perd as prys nie?

    “Ja, maar ek het sy R2-00 terug gegee”.
    http://www.radiopretoria.co.za/Boereland.html
    Although the word "Commando" was wrongly used to describe all Boer soldiers, a commando was a unit formed from a particular district. None of the units was organized in regular companies, battalions or squadrons. The Boer commandos were individualists who were difficult to control, resented formal discipline or orders, and earned a British jibe that"every Boer was his own general".

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    Gesien op PRAAG Nuus:

    Oor ses jaar weer lewende mammoete? Dit is moontlik as Japanse wetenskaplikes slaag met hul planne. [...] ‘n Klein kolonie mammoete het tot sowat 3 750 vC op St Paulseiland naby Alaska oorleef, [...] Hoewel klimaatstoestande vermoedelik grootliks vir die verdwyning van mammoete verantwoordelik was, word die rol van die mens nie buite rekening gelaat nie.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kobuseng
    Weer lewende witmense?
    Dit is moontlik as Japanse wetenskaplikes slaag met hul planne.
    ‘n Klein kolonie witmense het tot onlangs in Suid-Afrika oorleef.
    Hoewel politieke-klimaatstoestande vermoedelik grootliks vir die verdwyning van witmense verantwoordelik was, word die rol van die swartmens nie buite rekening gelaat nie.

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    V: Waar bly die Engelse krieketspelers wanneer hulle in SA toer?
    A: By hulle ouers.

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    Barack Obama was sitting in his office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang.

    "Howzit, Barack!" a voice in broken English said. "This is Koos Vannermerwe here from the Doringboom Bar in Welkom , South Africa . I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you, boet!"

    "Well, Koos," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

    "Right now," said Koos, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Jan, my next-door neighbour Lang Hannes, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight of us!"

    Barack paused. "I must tell you, Koos, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

    "Blikkiesfontein!" said Koos. "I'll have to ring you back!" Sure enough, the next day, Koos called again. "Barack, my china, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

    "And what equipment would that be, Koos?" Barack asked.

    "Well, we have four Hilux double-cabs, two kombis, an old Case bulldozer, and Vet Gert's John Deere tractor".

    Barack sighed. "I must tell you, Koos, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1,5 million since we last spoke."

    "Liewe erdvark!" said Koos. "I'll have to get back to you..." Sure enough, Koos rang again the next day. "Barack, ou swaer, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Doepie's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four okes from the Virginia Hengelklub have joined us as well!"

    Barack was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Koos, I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

    "Slaat my dood!", said Koos, "I'll have to ring you back." Sure enough, Koos called again the next day. "Jis, Barack! I am sorry to tell you that we've had to call off the war."

    "I'm sorry to hear that," said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

    "Well," said Koos, "we've all had a long chat over some brandy and coke, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners of war!"
    Although the word "Commando" was wrongly used to describe all Boer soldiers, a commando was a unit formed from a particular district. None of the units was organized in regular companies, battalions or squadrons. The Boer commandos were individualists who were difficult to control, resented formal discipline or orders, and earned a British jibe that"every Boer was his own general".

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    "Pa, hoeveel Zoeloes is daar buite?"

    "Drie duisend, seun."

    "...maar Pa, hoeveel is ons?"

    "Dertig."

    "Jissie Pa, ons gaan laat besig wees."

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    Casper de Vries - Irak in Iqak

    Although the word "Commando" was wrongly used to describe all Boer soldiers, a commando was a unit formed from a particular district. None of the units was organized in regular companies, battalions or squadrons. The Boer commandos were individualists who were difficult to control, resented formal discipline or orders, and earned a British jibe that"every Boer was his own general".

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    NASA stuur 2 ape en 'n houtkop Mars toe. Net toe hulle deur die atmosfeer gaan roep NASA vir Aap 1 en sé hy moet 2 van die 3 branders afsit en hy doen dit....NASA roep toe Aap 2 en sé hy moet hulle rigting verander en hy doen dit. Toe alles reg is roep die houtkop vir NASA en vra: "Wat moet ek doen?"NASA antwoord: "Jy vat aan fokkol! Jy voer net die Ape!"
    Although the word "Commando" was wrongly used to describe all Boer soldiers, a commando was a unit formed from a particular district. None of the units was organized in regular companies, battalions or squadrons. The Boer commandos were individualists who were difficult to control, resented formal discipline or orders, and earned a British jibe that"every Boer was his own general".

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    Although the word "Commando" was wrongly used to describe all Boer soldiers, a commando was a unit formed from a particular district. None of the units was organized in regular companies, battalions or squadrons. The Boer commandos were individualists who were difficult to control, resented formal discipline or orders, and earned a British jibe that"every Boer was his own general".

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    Wanneer ek eendag sterf wil ek stil en rustig in my slaap gaan soos my oupa... nie al skreeuend en vreesbevange soos die kaffers agter op sy bakkie nie...

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