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Thread: Attracting Women

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    Lightbulb Attracting Women

    I know theres alot of smart people on this forum but I also bet alot of men here struggle with women. In todays world we have been fed with many false beliefs in how we should treat women.

    In the last few years theres been alot of dating advice for men on how to attract women. Many authors have written multiple books offer all sorts of advice and tactics on how to pick up women. Chat up lines are particular favourites of theirs. It's all a money making scam. I've read a few of those books and come to realise that the advice given works only sometimes and only in the short term. So in other words if you're looking for a quality partner instead of just a one night stand the advice is useless.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------


    Here's what I have found out about attraction and what I strongly believe to be true. I'll try keep things as simple as possible.

    The key to attraction depends on how you think of yourself. Lets call it having a value mindset.

    The guys that have a high value mindset see themselves as being good enough for women therefore being more relaxed, confident etc. It all leads to them behaving 'better' around women.

    The guys with lower value mindsets are the opposite. Deep down they don't see themselves as being good enough for the woman and this manifests in their behaviour. Awkward, stuttering, trying too hard are some results of this behaviour and this naturally turns the women off.

    Women have an inbuilt radar for detecting the real you and if you have a high value mindset they'll pick up on it. That triggers their feel good emotions and when that happens you have landed your catch.

    Other things are important too like money, looks etc. They all add up but essentially its all about making women feel good. Thats done by you being high value (or in other words having a high value mindset). It's not done by you trying to impress them.


    Some other tips to keep in mind:

    - Positive body language. Read a book on body language and practise it and after a week you'll have a more confident look about you.

    - Women are feminine so treat them as such. Treat them like you'd treat a little girl. This shows them that you're the leader and brings out their feminine side.

    - Have fun with women and create good positive feelings in them.

    - Take care of yourself. This shows that you respect yourself.


    Keep that in mind when dealing with women and after a while, having a high value mindset will become a habit and you'll understand it better and attract the ladies and also in social settings people will want to be around you.

    There are other areas I'll also talk about soon like choosing women and dealing with arguments bad behaviour (from a high value mindset) etc. Any questions just ask.

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    Your approach is actually more or less identical to the fairly popular Mystery Method, which is a reasonably accurate approach (if all you are concerned with is your pure effectiveness at "picking up" women), given that it is based on a Darwinistic examination of how humans have evolved to choose mates.

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    Quote Originally Posted by baroqueorgan View Post
    Your approach is actually more or less identical to the fairly popular Mystery Method, which is a reasonably accurate approach (if all you are concerned with is your pure effectiveness at "picking up" women), given that it is based on a Darwinistic examination of how humans have evolved to choose mates.

    I'm not too familiar with the 'Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women into Bed' but I do know it tells people to peacock ie wear unusual cloths etc. I'm talking about a mindset not pick up techniques.


    The MM's goal is about getting women into bed as is says in the title. Again, thats totally different from what I'm saying. I'm basically advising people to improve their mindset. This is the way of the really wise men.


    So the goals are different. Like I said I havn't read the MM but correct me if I'm wrong but thats just a PUA (pick up artist) book?

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    - Women are feminine so treat them as such. Treat them like you'd treat a little girl. This shows them that you're the leader and brings out their feminine side.
    American women aren't feminine.

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    Be yourself and be comfortable being yourself, that's what a lot of it boils down to.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dropkick View Post
    I'm not too familiar with the 'Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women into Bed' but I do know it tells people to peacock ie wear unusual cloths etc. I'm talking about a mindset not pick up techniques.


    The MM's goal is about getting women into bed as is says in the title. Again, thats totally different from what I'm saying. I'm basically advising people to improve their mindset. This is the way of the really wise men.


    So the goals are different. Like I said I havn't read the MM but correct me if I'm wrong but thats just a PUA (pick up artist) book?
    Yes, MM is indeed a degenerate trashy PUA book

    I'm just a little surprised you aren't that familiar with it, I've paged through his material before and it is more or less exactly what you are describing, in the same terms actually. His methodology revolves around the concept of finding ways to convey "higher value" and that a woman is primarily looking for survival value in a man (high social status, leader of men, willing and capable of protecting women & friends, etc.), and that men primarily look for reproductive value in a woman (looks). Also kind of interesting is he chalks up most human instincts to the fact that people are evolutionarily wired to live in a 50-200 person society, which he theorizes is why men have the now unnecessary anxiety when approaching a new / attractive woman (because alienation and humiliation are far more of a big deal when you live in a tiny group like that.)

    Anyhow, MM has gotten stupidly widespread / popular, & has limited use for a non-amoral person, but its basic approach to how attraction works in it is somewhat correct in my opinion and more or less similar to what you talked about in your first post.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Resurgam View Post
    American women aren't feminine.
    Feminism has thoroughly corrupted them on both sides of the ocean.
    On a subliminal level, it was designed by woman-haters to induce women to hate themselves.

    To be a woman these days has become more of a fad than an actual way of life.
    Part of the trend of being a "woman" is to race-mix, emasculate men, and participate in crude behavior.

    It was intended to turn men into women and women into men.
    Do you remember how a tomboy used to be pressured into acting like a woman? Well now it is the reverse.
    The feminine young girl is now being pressured to act like a tomboy, and the boy himself is to play the role of the feminine.

    You will find more genuinely feminine women becoming older, which will further distance the trendy young woman away from the original.
    In 40 years "butch" will be the new feminine.

    Did you see the recent remake movie 'Get Smart'?
    In one scene, the masculinized Anne Hathaway is fighting off The Rock, a 6'4" former wrestler.
    The Rock says "You feminine types are all alike".
    She responds by kicking him in the face and saying “Don’t call me feminine!” (the italics don’t do justice to the fierce emphasis her voice had)
    It was as if he had used the most degrading word in the world toward a woman.

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    Quote Originally Posted by baroqueorgan View Post
    Yes, MM is indeed a degenerate trashy PUA book

    I'm just a little surprised you aren't that familiar with it, I've paged through his material before and it is more or less exactly what you are describing, in the same terms actually. His methodology revolves around the concept of finding ways to convey "higher value" and that a woman is primarily looking for survival value in a man (high social status, leader of men, willing and capable of protecting women & friends, etc.), and that men primarily look for reproductive value in a woman (looks). Also kind of interesting is he chalks up most human instincts to the fact that people are evolutionarily wired to live in a 50-200 person society, which he theorizes is why men have the now unnecessary anxiety when approaching a new / attractive woman (because alienation and humiliation are far more of a big deal when you live in a tiny group like that.)

    Anyhow, MM has gotten stupidly widespread / popular, & has limited use for a non-amoral person, but its basic approach to how attraction works in it is somewhat correct in my opinion and more or less similar to what you talked about in your first post.

    I have heard bits about the MM alright and looked through forums where people mentioned the importance of being "higher value". That is true but you don't need to go and buy a whole book of 200+ pages to understand a simple concept. What I wrote in the few lines in my first post is the basics of what anybody needs to know.


    Mystery Method, criticism and controversy

    Iain Sharp, writer for The Sunday-Star Times, suggests that Mystery Method's reliance on pre-rehearsed routines and lines may become problematic as the lines become overused and known to women. He writes:

    '[Mystery] also suggests that rather than outright flattery, males on the prowl should approach beautiful women with vaguely negative comments, which he terms "negging". Sample:

    http://www.squidoo.com/methodmystery/


    "Nice nails. Are they real?" Surely, though, once this line becomes known, women will show the authenticity of their nails with a quick swipe to the face.'

    In response to this brand of criticism, Mystery replies that pickup artists should eventually learn to generate original opening material, but until then "fake it 'til you make it".[5]

    Anderson Hephzibah, writer for the Daily Mail, also criticized Neil Strauss and Mystery’s use of memorized routines in their seduction methods. Hephzibah writes that, “Enlightenment came when [Strauss] chanced upon the How To Lay Girls Guide. It led him to an online community of self declared-sack artists, with pseudonyms such as Herbal and Mystery… Just as women dress largely for other women, so PUAs seem to score those bedpost notches to impress other men. Fortunately, their emphasis on conversational 'routines' and quasimilitaristic tactics make them easy to spot.”

    Mystery counters that "the Alpha Male is always the center of attention".[6] Other pickup artists, such as Neil Strauss, prefer to operate "under the radar".

    In the PR Newswire US, a writer describes Mystery as “a suicidal PUA that uses magic and various attention-getting techniques to seduce girls.” [7]

    Frances Whiting, writing for The Sunday Mail, also criticized Mystery Method tactics used by

    Mystery. She writes: “Mystery advises would-be wooers to: ‘Take the victim down from their friends, family and home. Once isolated they have no outside support and in their confusion are easily led astray.’ Oh, I'm sorry, clearly I'm reading from that other well-known book about male/female relationships, Dating: A Stalker's Guide…and why any man would follow

    Mystery's advice I do not know.” [8]

    Satoshi Fujita (from Japan) argues that Mystery's tactic of delivering negs "[only] works for the Westerners who already have advantages like good looks or are used to frank conversations with strangers of the opposite sex. But for the below-average Japanese guy, offending someone you've just met only turns the woman off and blows the guy's chance forever."

    http://mysterymethod.multiply.com/jo...nd_Controversy

    Interesting article there. Thats what I heard about the MM before and so decided against reading it and I'm certainly not describing that part.


    The MM seems to be written with the purpose of 'getting laid' as often as possible. Its written by a guy with that mentality for people with that mentality. I reckon most people on this forum will have higher standards then that.


    To sum up what I said: You can be yourself and attract women. You just have to have a high value mindset (ie know you're good enough) and from that everything will flow naturally and there'll be no nervousness etc.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dropkick View Post
    You just have to have a high value mindset (ie know you're good enough) and from that everything will flow naturally and there'll be no nervousness etc.
    Sometimes you know you are not good enough, and this is the right way, it is a plebian and egalitarian mindset, that everyone would be good enough for anyone. Sometimes people sell themselves under worth, but that is more a problem among the dumb, every man of intelligence knows his worth.
    "Nothing is more disgusting than the majority: because it consists of a few powerful predecessors, of rogues who adapt themselves, of weak who assimilate themselves, and the masses who imitate without knowing at all what they want." (Johann Wolfgang Goethe)

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    I often have women beep at me, then drive off. Try to get my attention then run away from me. I've noticed most women seem only interested in sex with me. Most of them also seem afraid at the same time well especially younger ones, virgins etc.

    Generally my observation is this: women want sex with masculine, good looking guys. Women want to date and marry weaker guys who they can control and who has a good income and will make a good daddy. If you are an uglier guy or not real masculine built you will fall into the latter category. Most women will cheat on their man with a good looking, strong, masculine alpha male. I've had so many girls with boyfriends hit on me as well. I think I have good looks, but not that good. I think they pick up on the fact that I'm not a feminized weakling. Flexing muscles and such also helps.

    But anyway like my problem is all these girls like me but still run away from me. The main secret is getting into a girls comfort zone. Usually you go to the same school, same work place, same church whatever over time when she sees you all the time, becomes familiar with you then your in. Its about trust, comfort etc.

    But I hardly never have sex, hardly never date etc. I just don't have much interest in most of the women around me. My poverty also is a problem. Honestly I'd say most of the problem picking up women is that there aren't any social institutions where people can meet each other and be familiar. The biggest difference between women and guys is that a guy sees a girl and he will sleep with her that same day. He likes a girl right away. Women are slow and take time- unless the girl is extremely desperate and really horny which happens sometimes, but mostly a girl needs to be around you. She doesn't have to talk to you and get to know you exactly, but she needs to at least be familiar with you. She'll probably investigate you by talking to other people about you- that's the way they work indirect and such.

    If you want to pick up women go somewhere that women are that you know the same girl will visit over and over again. Just show up there. You may say something to her show a little interest but after that you don't even need to show interest, just so long as she sees your face on a regular basis. Over time this builds more comfort and familiarity where you can move closer and make your move.

    Any book that speaks of "picking up chicks" is nonsense. You can't go up to women and ask for their number. Unless the girl is a total slut or totally desperate it doesn't work. At best you can show off some muscle or something and girls will come to you. I've had a lot of girls come to me, but everytime I've tried to pick up a girl like that- just randomly going up to someone in the mall- it doesn't work well. Other people tell me stories but I don't believe it unless they are hitting on really desperate chicks. It seems odd women will come up to me, but if I approach them they are unresponsive- why? It's about comfort, safety etc. Maybe you are getting the picture- as a man you will not be successful hitting up random chicks.
    The girl doesn't know if you are a rapist, or murderer or what. You have to think like a girl they need to feel safe and protected they aren't going to give themselves over to some random guy they just met. It doesn't matter how you dress or what you say or do. None of it will work. Well never say never- but to pick up girls you need a common public meeting place, or common friends, or common associations- something where she can become familiar with you first. It's all about trust, comfort etc. with a girl. You can even be a fairly ugly man with little to offer but if the girl feels comfortable with you you got a good chance. Us men mainly we care about looks and such and don't care much about comfort or safety.

    The other BIG factor- girls are social. They care a lot about what their friends think. Usually they care about what their family thinks. If their friends like you- they will like you. Usually if one likes you almost all of them will. If one doesn't like you almost all of them will be against you. Women don't think on their own. First they have to consort the opinion of their friends, family, social networks unless the girl is a rare total loner. So again we are back to square one- if you want to pick up a chick have someone introduce you, go somewhere like a church where you can get into the social network- work with the girl, go to school with her be in the social network. Again you can't pick up a girl by randomly going up to her. And if you do try it that way at least have a friend with you so you look less creepy.

    The other thing is like as men we get turned down all the time. Yet if you turn down a girl especially for sex she is greatly offended. It doesn't make sense but almost every girl expects that the man will chase her and want her and take her on a seconds notice if she wants to give it up. Which is one of my problems I meet girls and they always act uninterested and kind of jerks and then one day throw themselves at me and its like umm what are you doing? The other thing is you can't save sex for later with women lol if you have a chance with someone can't be like oh well she likes me we can do this later. Got to strike when the iron is hot. I don't know why the mentality between men and women are different.

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