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Thread: Swedish Parents Keep 2-Year-Old's Gender Secret

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    Post Swedish Parents Keep 2-Year-Old's Gender Secret

    It's going to be one screwed-up kid...




    A couple of Swedish parents have stirred up debate in the country by refusing to reveal whether their two-and-a-half-year-old child is a boy or a girl.

    Pop’s parents [see footnote], both 24, made a decision when their baby was born to keep Pop’s sex a secret. Aside from a select few – those who have changed the child’s diaper – nobody knows Pop’s gender; if anyone enquires, Pop’s parents simply say they don’t disclose this information.

    In an interview with newspaper Svenska Dagbladet in March, the parents were quoted saying their decision was rooted in the feminist philosophy that gender is a social construction.

    “We want Pop to grow up more freely and avoid being forced into a specific gender mould from the outset,” Pop’s mother said. “It's cruel to bring a child into the world with a blue or pink stamp on their forehead.”

    The child's parents said so long as they keep Pop’s gender a secret, he or she will be able to avoid preconceived notions of how people should be treated if male or female.

    Pop's wardrobe includes everything from dresses to trousers and Pop's hairstyle changes on a regular basis. And Pop usually decides how Pop is going to dress on a given morning.

    Although Pop knows that there are physical differences between a boy and a girl, Pop's parents never use personal pronouns when referring to the child – they just say Pop.

    "I believe that the self-confidence and personality that Pop has shaped will remain for a lifetime," said Pop's mother.

    But while Pop’s parents say they have received supportive feedback from many of their peers, not everyone agrees that their chosen course of action will have a positive outcome.

    “Ignoring children's natures simply doesn’t work,” says Susan Pinker, a psychologist and newspaper columnist from Toronto, Canada, who wrote the book The Sexual Paradox, which focuses on sex differences in the workplace.

    “Child-rearing should not be about providing an opportunity to prove an ideological point, but about responding to each child’s needs as an individual,” Pinker tells The Local.

    “It’s unlikely that they’ll be able to keep this a secret for long. Children are curious about their own identity, and are likely to gravitate towards others of the same sex during free play time in early childhood.”

    Pinker says there are many ways that males and females differ from birth; even if gender is kept ‘secret,’ prenatal hormones developed in the second trimester of pregnancy already alter the way the child behaves and feels.

    She says once children can speak, males tell aggressive stories 87 per cent of the time, while females only 17 per cent. In a study, children aged two to four were given a task to work together for a reward, and boys used physical tactics 50 times more than girls, she says.

    But Swedish gender equality consultant Kristina Henkel says Pop’s parents' experiment might have positive results.

    “If the parents are doing this because they want to create a discussion with other adults about why gender is important, then I think they can make a point of it,” Henkel says in a telephone interview with The Local.

    “You can talk about there being a non-stereotypical gender; if you are a girl you can do the same as a boy, and if you’re a boy you can do the same as a girl.”

    Henkel also says a child's sex can deeply affect how they are treated growing up, and distract them from simply being a human being.

    “If the child is dressed up as a girl or boy, it affects them because people see and treat them in a more gender-typical way,” Henkel explains.

    “Girls are told they are cute in their dresses, and boys are told they are cool with their car toys. But if you give them no gender they will be seen more as a human or not a stereotype as a boy or girl.”

    She says that without these gender stereotypes, children can build character as individuals, not hindered by preconceived notions of what they should be as males or females.

    “I think that can make these kids stronger,” Henkel says.

    Anna Nordenström, a paediatric endocrinologist at Karolinska Institutet, says it’s hard to know what effects the parents' decision will have on Pop.

    “It will affect the child, but it’s hard to say if it will hurt the child,” says Nordenström, who studies hormonal influences on gender development.

    “I don’t know what they are trying to achieve. It’s going to make the child different, make them very special.”

    She says if Pop is still ‘genderless’ by the time he or she starts school, Pop will certainly receive a lot of attention from classmates.

    “We don’t know exactly what determines sexual identity, but it’s not only sexual upbringing,” says Nordenström. “Gender-typical behaviour, sexual preferences and sexual identity usually go together. There are hormonal and other influences that we don’t know that will determine the gender of the child.”

    Both Nordenström and Pinker refer to a controversial case from 1967 when a circumcision left one of two twin brothers without a penis. Dr. John Money, who asserted that gender was learned rather than innate, convinced the parents to raise 'David' as 'Brenda' and the child had cosmetic genitalia reconstruction surgery.

    She was raised as a female, with girls’ clothes, games and codes of behaviour. The parents never told Brenda the secret until she was a teenager and rebelled against femininity. She then started receiving testosterone injections and underwent another genetic reconstruction process to become David again. David Reimer denounced the experiment as a crushing failure before committing suicide at the age of 38.

    “I don’t think that trying to keep a child’s sex a secret will fool anyone, nor do I think it’s wise or ethical,” says Pinker. “As with any family secret, when we try to keep an elemental truth from children, it usually blows up in the parent’s face, via psychosomatic illness or rebellious behaviour.”

    But with a second child on the way, Pop's parents have no plans to change what they see as a winning formula. As for Pop, they say they will only reveal the child's sex when Pop thinks it's time.

    Footnote: Pop is not the child's real name but is the name used in Svenska Dagbladet's interview with the child's parents from March 6th.

    http://www.thelocal.se/20232/20090623/
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    What is there to say really? Another beautiful day in the insane asylum called Sweden.

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    What kind of name is Pop?


    Die Sonne scheint noch.

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    Pop and the parents name or just been giving out by the newspaper to protect them so no one could find out who they really are.

    In my ears it sounds like 2 feminist or 2 gays adopted a child want it to become "one of them" it is all about demolish the society and having the kids turn "neutral" because they don't want the traditional thinking that girl likes boy and boy likes girl.

    Really sad as it's destroying the "kärnfamiljen" with it also future generations. They even't take the child to kindergarden. What about when it growing up then? What will hapend if it turns up to be a boy and he is like girls instead of boys. Are the parents gona send him to planet Mars?

    Hell. The Swedish government pays out millions of euros to gender scientist to search out if the piano and other instrument is for women or men.

    We see here the breakdown of our society. I cry till I laugh.

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    I boggle at things like this. I am a feminist. (I think that women should be allowed to perform any job that they can perform. I think that people should be paid according to performance and seniority not by gender. I believe that women and men should vote and be politically involved.)

    Some people are going to be gay/lesbian/trans-gendered no matter what parents do.This is treating your child as a lab animal. This will just confuse the poor kid at best.

    If you do not want to have your children pink/blue stamped you can let them play with dolls or trucks, fairies or tools as they choose. You might be surprised at how really little kids will chose clothes that fit their interests, and how often interests 'match' gender. I will not discourage my son from playing with dolls or my daughter from playing with trucks. I will not set them up for a lifetime of confusion and frustration.
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    This experiment shows the absurdities of the propaganda, that gender would be a social creation. Then people take it to the next step and are consequent with it. Maybe it makes some people think about at least this bit of the propaganda machinery.

    Since race also is called a social creation, I'm curious when we see the first parents painting their children this day black, next yellow or whatever...
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    I... don't even really know how to respond to that other than with complete shock. What the Hel?

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    Quote Originally Posted by triedandtru View Post
    I... don't even really know how to respond to that other than with complete shock. What the Hel?
    Sweden today is a cesspool of cultural marxism, there is simply no end to the insanity that surrounds us. God help us.

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    Only in Sweden...

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    This is outrageous. A child can't decide on the gender. It's not like politics or religion, for God's sake. There isn't a center or middle or not available option. The world is becoming sickening, I must say.

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