Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: Your Deciding Moment in Life and the Paths We Took

  1. #1
    Lost in Melancholia
    "Friend of Germanics"
    Skadi Funding Member

    Thusnelda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Last Online
    @
    Ethnicity
    Bavarian tribe
    Ancestry
    Bavarian
    Subrace
    Nordid-Borreby
    State
    Bavaria Bavaria
    Location
    Over the hills and far away
    Gender
    Age
    34
    Occupation
    Breathing the forest
    Politics
    Regionalist-conservative
    Religion
    Ásatrú/Forn Siðr
    Posts
    4,380
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    0
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    37
    Thanked in
    26 Posts

    Your Deciding Moment in Life and the Paths We Took

    Hello Skadites,

    today I want to talk about a topic which occupies me every now and then. When we look back at our already past years of life then we can unearth many open and also repressed memories, both in positive and in negative. Very much has happened in the past and all our experiences summed up created the persons we are now. And when we look back a little bit more concentrated we can retrieve the paths we decided to take at some points in our life, we detect the few crucial crossroads which had a strong impact on everything that followed. Maybe we didn´t know that it was a decisive moment back then because we realize that it was a crossroad after some years only. Yes, I´m sure everyone had such decisive moments where they took a path into a specific direction without the opportunity to unmake the decision afterwards.

    I know that there were a handful of important crossroads in my life until now, and I willingly or unconsciously decided to take one of the possible paths. Often I think about these events and about the questions "What would be now if I would have decided otherwise?", "In which situation would I be now IF..." or "What could have been IF...". Well, I think that´s normal and it makes me both exited and melancholic at the same time. Could my life be better now? Could it be worse? Could I be more happy? Or would I lead a miserable life?

    I "hit" one of these crossroads (without knowing that it was one) around five years ago when I was 20. There was that young man I already knew since my childhood years and who lived in my village for many years. He was a very friendly, handsome, gentle and caring friend of mine. We were at the border of becoming a courting couple but I was too afraid of bonding with someone. At one day he invited me to a hiking trip and to a summer toboggan run. It was a beautiful day and before we drove home he confessed me his love. I was completely taken by surprise and reacted rash and immature because I felt unable to answer appropriate to his confession. To put it in a nutshell, I destroyed the moment and hurt his feelings. I regret this to this very day. He was a wonderful man, a man that embraced everything I want and look for in a potential partner. My stupid reaction injured his heart and our friendship slightly split over this because he was too scared to ask me out again and I was too dumb and shy to call him by myself and to say "Sorry". I never had the guts to take the telephone or to drive to his flat and tell him "I´m sorry", to tell him that, deep in my heart, I loved him, too. But nothing happened, time walked by and he eventually moved away, he lives in a town 40 km away from here. And he´s married with children now.

    I can´t stop to think about this occurrence time after time. What if I hadn´t reacted so awkwardly? What if I wouldn´t have been so shy? What if I just answered him "I´m shy and dumb, but I love you, too!" instead of ruining the moment and the friendship?

    Maybe I missed (and even dismissed) the man of my life in these few but decisive seconds. Maybe I could be his wife now, with an own family and children. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I will never know, but it´s not unlikely.

    Do you have similar crossroads in your life? Moments where the further course of your following life was set in the space of some tiny seconds? I would really like to hear some of your stories.

    "Judge of your natural character by what you do in your dreams" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

  2. #2
    Senior Member OnePercent's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Last Online
    Monday, August 13th, 2012 @ 07:01 AM
    Ethnicity
    Germanic-American
    Ancestry
    Swiss/Irish
    Subrace
    Nordid
    Country
    Vinland Vinland
    State
    Arizona Arizona
    Location
    Valley of the Sun
    Gender
    Age
    43
    Occupation
    Tech Support
    Politics
    Independent
    Religion
    Asatru
    Posts
    471
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    0
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    1
    Thanked in
    1 Post
    I am not a big fan of country music (or a xtian), but Garth Brooks has this great song that goes: "some of god's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers". Its about how when he was a young man he was in love with this girl and prayed to god that she would love him back and marry him but in the end she rejected him, then years later after he is married and has his own family he meets her again and realizes that he is happier since his prayers went unanswered.

    I have come to many cross-roads in my life that I can look back upon and wonder about what the outcome would have been if I had acted differently, but then I think that if I had acted differently at those times I would not be the person I am today and I would not have some of the people around me that I love so dearly. It is for this reason that I have come to believe in fate.

    Also, I think we all have a tendency to look back on our pasts with sentimentality that can sometimes skew the reality of the situation. For example, I have many memories of things that occurred in my family that when I mention them to my parents or siblings they have entirely different memories of. In fact, talking to them about my memories has often led me to remember details that I had completely forgotten about which totally altered my entire perception of the event as I had remembered it previously.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Wulfram's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Last Online
    15 Hours Ago @ 12:03 AM
    Ethnicity
    Mostly German/Some English/Some Irish
    Subrace
    Nordid
    State
    Texas Texas
    Gender
    Politics
    Far Right
    Posts
    2,887
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    38
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    27
    Thanked in
    19 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Thusnelda View Post
    Do you have similar crossroads in your life? Moments where the further course of your following life was set in the space of some tiny seconds? I would really like to hear some of your stories.
    My situation was similar to your own. The young woman in question had been with me since junior high school, but we weren't officially sweethearts until both of us were old enough to start driving and no longer needed our parents to chauffeur our dates. Our being together had become such a familiar sight that our friends and family expected us to both go to the same college, and perhaps something more. We certainly were already acting like a married couple. She was a Texas-German like myself, but we never discussed our heritage further than just acknowledging our roots on the rare occasion, since both of us were completely oblivious to the ideals of preservation. But the relationship worked, that is what was important.

    CROSSROAD:
    I had already been experimenting with drugs for a few years, but during the latter half of my senior year (after football season was over), my abuse increased a hundred fold. I wont bore you with the details, but for a long time she had been tolerant of my being a user, and felt that it was just a phase that some young men will go through. Well, she could not have foreseen that I was just getting started. She gave me numerous opportunities to get my act together, hinting along the way that I should become more serious about the future, which I misinterpreted as condescension. By the time of graduation she had already been preparing to break off relations and move on with her life, which is exactly what she did. My ego was such in those days that I assumed she would miss me and come running back. She turned out to be stronger than I gave her credit for. She missed me deeply, yes, but never gave me another chance, as stories of my increasing use were made known to her. To make the story short she eventually met another man at her college (I went to another), they married, have kids, and are literally living happily ever after.

    As the abuse got completely out of control I began to think about her quite often. By the time I hit rock bottom, as all addicts will do, she had become that "crossroad" you have described. I realized that she just might have been my soul mate and perhaps I could be experiencing the happiness she is now enjoying. I have no evidence that it would have worked out this way, but there has not been a woman since who has been so compatible and so easy to be with. I never look back at the others with the same sense of sureness as I do with her.

    The "what if...?" question can have horrible consequences for one if they sit and dwell on it. Which is why I ultimately decided to get myself clean. In the end all I was doing was getting high and thinking about what I could have had. Drugs were not helping me to forget, and only enhanced the reality. I eventually chose to become sober and give the pursuit of happiness another chance. This was the best thing I have ever done for myself. Sometimes good memories can be just as crippling as bad ones and becoming sober helped me to stop dwelling on them. It has been quite a few years since I have been high and truly feel no desire to use them again. As long as I don't use them then I can continue to move right along with my life, beyond drugs as well as dwelling on "what if...?"

  4. #4
    Funding Member
    "Friend of Germanics"
    Skadi Funding Member


    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Last Online
    @
    Ethnicity
    Norse
    Country
    Sweden Sweden
    Gender
    Posts
    656
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    0
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    2
    Thanked in
    2 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Thusnelda View Post
    I was completely taken by surprise and reacted rash and immature because I felt unable to answer appropriate to his confession. To put it in a nutshell, I destroyed the moment and hurt his feelings. I regret this to this very day.
    Poor Thusnelda. Looking back now at 25 you would have accepted his love, but the real question was were you able to do so at 20? It might have simply been that you were not mature enough and ready for a relationship with him at that time, meaning it was not meant to be and that's how you were supposed to act. You two may have been at different stages in your lives meaning it would not have worked out because you needed another five years to reach his mindset. So don't feel too bad, plus there are probably a lot of unseen variables as to whether it would have worked. And you're only 25, you will likely have another chance.

  5. #5
    Senior Member hyidi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Last Online
    Wednesday, August 22nd, 2012 @ 11:44 AM
    Ethnicity
    British Isles
    Ancestry
    All over the British isles
    Country
    Australia Australia
    State
    Victoria Victoria
    Gender
    Age
    38
    Family
    Single adult
    Politics
    National Socialist
    Religion
    Atheist
    Posts
    1,477
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    0
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    2
    Thanked in
    2 Posts
    Yes Hun, I been there too.

    This guy ( Ryan Bishop) who I been with ten years ago (but no longer with him,only lasted a few weeks) was so hot! Tann skin,natural blonde hair and blue eyes with the Germanic look and I blew it. When I meet him (Ryan) for the first time, I was seeing this plain looking guy named (Ian) naturally, I was more attracted to Ryan (who would not be?) Ryan did mention he hates cheaters and warned me to never cheat on him; so I decided I wanted Ryan over Ian (who would not?) but However,my mother liked Ian more. She siad that she does not trust Ryan cause of his great looks and Ian would treat me better cause he's a plainer looking man,before I had the chance to dump Ian,she made me felt guilty, so I keep Ian; Ryan was not aware of this.
    Any how Ryan found out and that was thee end! I was so upset! I really really liked ryan,I was so attracted too him,and he ( a great looking guy) liked me for whom I was, a shy,not that smart girl,now,I find it hard too find a just as good looking boy as he was,that would except me for whom I am! The point of my story is,do not let you're mother boss you around in which guy you wish too date!

  6. #6
    Funding Member
    "Friend of Germanics"
    Skadi Funding Member

    Gefjon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Last Online
    @
    Ethnicity
    Anglo-American
    Gender
    Age
    38
    Posts
    1,363
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    75
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    188
    Thanked in
    88 Posts
    Yeah, had some of these "what if" moments. As a teen I was always into the "bad boys" and just folks with scandalous reputation. I just found nice guys boring and distrusting, like they were putting on a face. I've seen plenty of examples where those men acted like prince charming to get into a woman's pants and then suddenly their true colors showed: lying, cheating & the whole package. So I thought at least with bad boys there was no pretentious facet.

    There was this guy who was one of my workmates, he tried to form a friendship, asked me out, tried to include me in everyting etc. I always pushed him away, assuming he was just another pretentious face. One day he professed me his love, well at that age the notion of love scared me, so I blocked him out and continued with my life.

    There are times when I sit and wonder, what if I had given him a chance and all, maybe my life would have turned out differently. Do I regret it though? No, not really. You know the saying, sometimes you've got to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. My life took a different path, now we're both married with kids, so there's not much reason to dwell on looking back. The universe comes with infinite possiblities, so that's a reason to look forward.

  7. #7
    Secure a future for Germanic children
    "Friend of Germanics"
    Skadi Funding Member

    Bärin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Last Online
    @
    Ethnicity
    German
    Country
    Germany Germany
    State
    Berlin Berlin
    Gender
    Age
    29
    Family
    Married parent
    Occupation
    Mother
    Politics
    National Communism
    Religion
    Atheism
    Posts
    1,899
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    119
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    316
    Thanked in
    122 Posts
    I don't sit back and think what if because years ago at my crossroads moment, eventhough I was scared of big prospects like having a romantic relationship with my best friend, then marriage and motherhood, I didn't run away from it. Yes I also thought I wasn't mature enough for love, etc., I was 18-19 at the time. Probably one thing that forced me to make that decision was my pregnancy. It wasn't something we planned, but it changed our lives for the better, so if I could go back in time I would still do things the same way.

    Here's a question people with regrets should ask themselves: if the other person really loved you that much, why didn't they seek you? They're living their lives somewhere else, happily married, so why shouldn't you do the same? "Love" isn't everything, better someone who is first and foremost ethnically, culturally and ideologically compatible than someone with whom you have little in common.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Catterick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Last Online
    Thursday, September 7th, 2017 @ 01:29 AM
    Ethnicity
    Mixed Germanic and Celtic
    Ancestry
    British Isles & Scandinavia
    Subrace
    Borreby x Nordic
    Country
    Other Other
    Location
    Aqua
    Gender
    Family
    Single adult
    Occupation
    Gondolier
    Posts
    2,196
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    0
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    20
    Thanked in
    20 Posts
    Every turning point presupposes most probable alternate timelines. My life sucks bad because of 1) physical health, 2) early home life and 3) a shit tier starting location. So then where was just one point of divergence, that wasn't beyond my control?

  9. #9
    Funding Member
    "Friend of Germanics"
    Skadi Funding Member

    Nachtengel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Last Online
    @
    Ethnicity
    German
    Gender
    Posts
    5,904
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    94
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    752
    Thanked in
    414 Posts
    Yes, I've wondered how things would have turned out had I chosen the other man. Appearances were faulty. However, whatever the events, I have my son as a result, so I don't denounce the outcome. Life is sometimes hard but we have to live it as it is. "Has beens," "would haves" and "should haves" are just nerve-racking at this point. The past is the past, we have to look to the future. If we need to look back, we should turn our mistakes into life experience and use them to help us prevent make further ones as we go.

    @Catterick, you seem to have a pretty bleak outlook on life. Of course things depend also on your actions. You say that you don't want to make friends and humanity disgusts you, so how can you expect for your love life to be according to somebody else's control? Yes life can suck, I get that, however wallowing in self-pity is not going to make things brighter. In the end, life is a large part of how we make it.

  10. #10
    Like nobody else
    "Friend of Germanics"
    Skadi Funding Member


    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Last Online
    2 Days Ago @ 08:27 PM
    Status
    Available
    Ethnicity
    Swedish
    Ancestry
    Swedish and Danish
    Subrace
    Nordid-Borreby
    Country
    United States United States
    State
    California California
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Gender
    Age
    35
    Zodiac Sign
    Leo
    Family
    Married
    Politics
    NS
    Religion
    NS
    Posts
    687
    Thanks Thanks Given 
    4
    Thanks Thanks Received 
    29
    Thanked in
    20 Posts
    I have had moments in the past where I've regretted something I did or didn't do regarding love, something I wished I had done or fought harder for.

    With time that changed though, especially when life goes on and you find a much greater love than the one you had or missed out on previously. If I had gotten serious with this or that guy from my past, then I probably never would have met the amazingly wonderful man I'm married to today.

    I really would have missed out on the greatest happiness if I had done things differently in my past. Things happen for a reason. Today I regret nothing, things turned out exactly the way they were supposed to.
    A democracy is nothing more than mob rule,
    where 51% of the people may take away the rights of the other 49%.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Gods and Paths in Heathenry
    By Thorwald in forum Cosmology & Mythology
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: Monday, January 2nd, 2012, 11:53 PM
  2. The Toughest Moment in Your Life
    By MountainGuardian in forum Parenthood & Family
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: Thursday, March 24th, 2011, 06:51 PM
  3. Anger Over Nazi-Named Hiking Paths in Austria
    By Nachtengel in forum The German Countries
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: Wednesday, September 15th, 2010, 11:41 PM
  4. Deciding Over Abortion
    By Nachtengel in forum Parenthood & Family
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: Sunday, March 22nd, 2009, 09:37 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •